I try really hard to tell myself that every child is different and they each learn things at their own paces. But I have a part time dcb, who will be 4 next week; who cannot answer questions well at all. Is this normal for this age?

For instance; here is a sample of some of our conversations:

Me (after talking about what "thankful" means): "DCB, what are you thankful for?"
DCB: "A B C D E F G..."
Me: "That's great! You know your ABC's! Now, what things do you really really like?"
DCB: "1 2 3 4 5 6..."
Me: "Hmmm. Do you like your toys?"
DCB: "yes"
Me: "Ok, when you like something, like your toys; that means that you are thankful that you have it! What else are you thankful for?"
DCB: "H"

Here's another one...
DCB: "I played pacman and he died."
Me: "Oh, you played Pacman?"
DCB: "yes"
Me: "Where did you get to play Pacman?"
DCB: "I played Pacman... and he died."
Me: "Oh, yes. Pacman is a hard game. Where did you play Pacman? At home?"
DCB: "He died."

Or today... someone made a BIG poopy in the toilet and used lots of toilet paper to clean up! The toilet didn't overflow right away; but when DCB tried to use it and he flushed... it overflowed. He ran out of the bathroom yelling "I"M SCARED! I'm scared! Oh... I'm scared!" I asked him what was scaring him. He just kept saying the same thing... I'm scared. I'm scared. I then went into the bathroom to see what was wrong, and there was water all over the floor. He didn't know how to tell me that the toilet had overflowed. I understand not knowing how to put those words together; especially since it had probably never happened to him before. But I would at least expect something like "There is water coming out of the toilet!" or "There is water on the floor!" or maybe just plain "WATER!". Nope. Nothing like that.

He talks well in conversation, has good vocabulary. He interacts well with others. It's really just his way of answering questions that seems so odd to me for a 4 yr old. What are your thoughts?

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Are you sure he hear and understands the question. I would start by making a point to have eye contact then ask the question try this for a while and see if it makes a differnce. My dd was a little like that and years latter we learned that she as an audio processing deficiency, short answer she can not properl process information given to her orally.

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Is this his first time in daycare? He sounds like the product of a TV child...they are thrown in front of the tv all day and don't know how to hold a conversation. My best friends child was like this. She had to go through all of these evaluations and they could not find anything. She was 4 at the time and was no where near potty trained and could not even follow simple directions, like go get your shoes on. If she asked her something she would repeat the question or she would say part of what you said. LIke It is time to go outside and play? She would say go play go play. She could not hold any form of conversation of any kind with a child or an adult. After being in DC for about 7 months she started talking and was able to converse. She is now 7 and is doing great socially, but she is a little brat....lol

Give it more time and keep working with him for a bit. give it at least 30 days

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I had a daycare boy like that. He talked like a parrot! Pretty much repeated the last couple of words that I said. I wonder if that had to do with his parents parking him in front of the television all day?

Yeah, something's not quite right with a 4 year old responding to questions that way. You said he has a good vocabulary and holds conversations well. Most likely the conversations that he has had do not have open ended questions like you are trying to ask him. He simply might not know how to answer an open ended question. He might only know how to tell you his thoughts and hear other's thoughts but not realize that you are trying to get specific information related to the question from him when you ask questions.

Maybe you can try to use props that he can see and start asking simple questions. For example, put an apple and only an apple on the table. Then bring only him so he's not distracted, to the table and point to the apple and ask him what is on the table. While reading a book, ask him questions that he can look at the pictures to find the answers. Once he can answer simple questions like that, move on to questions about things that he can't see and has to simply think about the answer.

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Echololia:

Immediate echolalia causes the immediate repetition of a word or phrase.

A typical pediatric presentation of echolalia might be: a child is asked, "Do you want dinner?" the child echoes back "Do you want dinner?" followed by a pause and then a response, "Yes. What's for dinner?"[5]

In delayed echolalia, a phrase is repeated after a delay, such as a person with autism who repeats TV commercials, favorite movie scripts, or parental reprimands.

Is this what you are seeing?

Otherwise, does he make eye contact, initiate conversations? Describe things?

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I hate to jump on the bandwagon of Autism but I did have a child in daycare who was Autistic and he acted just like this

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Try to shorten your question - I'm noticing that you are usually making a statement and then asking a question.

Try asking the question first. Some children with short attention spans can only retain a few words at a time.

Also try giving choices/suggestions.

We have a PreSchooler that is similar and we're still trying to figure this one out. I'm not sure if anyone has asked the parent how much time is spent in front of the TV. The child we have has a younger sibling and it's possible she is in front of the TV a LOT because Mom is busy with the baby.

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Wow, you all have really offered some great ideas and thoughts on this. Thank you!

Familyschoolcare: At first I thought what you did. That he just wasn't paying attention to my question and/or not hearing it. I now always make sure that he is looking at me and that my question is something either interesting to him or related to something he's talking about to peak his interest. Doesn't seem to matter at all.

Daycare: Yes! This is his first time in daycare! His mom works part time (only 2 shifts per week); and before me she worked on weekends and his dad worked during the week so he was always home with a parent. You could be right about him being a TV child; although his mom made a point to tell me that at home he only gets an hour or so of TV and then he has to earn it the rest of the day. Don't know how much truth is in that though. He is always asking for the TV to be on when he is here!

Permanentvacation: I think you just might be right. Given that he has not been in very many social situations outside of his family; he just might not know how to answer open-ended questions. He answers close-ended questions well; and seems to communicate well otherwise (except when he couldn't tell me that the toilet overflowed). I like your idea of working with props at first and gradually progressing from there. I just wish I had more time with him. I only have him 2 days a week; and sometimes those days are half days.

Kandidcare: I will try to shorten my questions and be more direct. You are right; I often make a statement before I ask a question!

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My oldest was this way, he didn't understand abstract concepts like the questions you were asking. He has Aspergers and his IQ is off the charts, but as a young kid he couldn't answer questions.

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