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  #1  
Old 10-23-2018, 07:13 AM
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Question Muslim Family Advice

Hello!

So I recently enrolled a Muslim family. During interviews, I specifically ask- "Do you have any special needs/requests? (ie religious/personal dietary restrictions, etc)" and the mom just mentioned they don't eat pork.

Well, the little girl (3 yo) had her first day yesterday and her mom came in this morning saying she can't sleep with the boys. She was very insistent and seemed a bit flustered that she did yesterday. I asked her if it was a personal or religious choice, but her English isn't completely fluent and my Arabic is garbage (as in it doesn't exist) so I'm still not sure. She said we're Muslim, so maybe it's religious.

My question is- have any of you had experience with Muslim families? What kind of stuff did you have to alternate to accommodate that? I don't mind making changes here and there, but I like to know in advance. Besides no pork and no sleeping with the other kids, is there anything else across the board that I should expect to do? I don't want to offend her, so I'm trying to get ahead of other problems that might arise. Like, our Christmas party will probably be a holiday party this year instead...anything else??
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Old 10-23-2018, 07:29 AM
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Originally Posted by BGM View Post
Hello!

So I recently enrolled a Muslim family. During interviews, I specifically ask- "Do you have any special needs/requests? (ie religious/personal dietary restrictions, etc)" and the mom just mentioned they don't eat pork.

Well, the little girl (3 yo) had her first day yesterday and her mom came in this morning saying she can't sleep with the boys. She was very insistent and seemed a bit flustered that she did yesterday. I asked her if it was a personal or religious choice, but her English isn't completely fluent and my Arabic is garbage (as in it doesn't exist) so I'm still not sure. She said we're Muslim, so maybe it's religious.

My question is- have any of you had experience with Muslim families? What kind of stuff did you have to alternate to accommodate that? I don't mind making changes here and there, but I like to know in advance. Besides no pork and no sleeping with the other kids, is there anything else across the board that I should expect to do? I don't want to offend her, so I'm trying to get ahead of other problems that might arise. Like, our Christmas party will probably be a holiday party this year instead...anything else??
Do you live in a large community?
Maybe there are other care programs you can network with?

You could create a questionnaire for the parents to ask them about the things they do observe or don't observe due to their faith? I think finding out directly from them is ideal and then deciding what you are able to (and required to) do or not do in your program.

I think it's very important to be respectful of all religions but I certainly am not about to change my entire daily routine or operating system for one family.
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Old 10-23-2018, 07:37 AM
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Care.Com has an entire section for Muslim Childcare Providers. Maybe one of these providers near you will answer some questions for you. Maybe we can get some to join here, I would love to learn more about this topic as well.

https://www.care.com/muslim-child-care

The only adaptations I had to make was not using the same utensils/pots/pans for pork. All three were boys, though.
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Old 10-23-2018, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I think it's very important to be respectful of all religions but I certainly am not about to change my entire daily routine or operating system for one family.
This^^^
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Old 10-23-2018, 01:23 PM
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It was disrespectful of them to spring that on you AFTER the fact.
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Old 10-23-2018, 01:41 PM
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I was just going to mention, maybe instead of "holiday" it could be "winter". Other than that, you got a lot covered in the comments!
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Old 10-23-2018, 02:05 PM
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I haven't provided care for any Muslim family yet, but I would either use my phone to translate or find out if they know someone who can translate and you all need to have a meeting. Just say, "I think we had a misunderstanding during the interview..." Make it clear that you're not familiar with Muslim culture, but you will be more than happy to learn what things may be an issue as they come up and you can discuss which things are reasonable for you to accommodate and" which services you don't offer" as I've seen others here put it.
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Old 10-23-2018, 02:25 PM
BrynleeJean BrynleeJean is offline
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I had a Muslim family but didnít change my care
I wouldnít if they asked probably, i mean MAYBE move the child into another room if i was already doing that for kids and had the space but if not then I would simply think they want to change not one but multiple thinks about the way that I run my business, my home, then maybe this isnít the place for them to be 40+ hours a week.
Sounds like a problem family to me and I probably wouldnít take them.
Iíd recommend some places in town though
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Old 10-23-2018, 03:10 PM
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I also just currently enrolled a 2 year old girl whose family is Muslim. They only told me that they donít eat pork. I donít serve pork anyway so it wasnít a big deal. I do have three other boys here her age, and I was not told she couldnít sleep in the same room as the boys. Although she did leave her previous daycare because the providerís husband changed her daughterís diaper.

I havenít had any issues yet, so maybe itís just preference and not religion? Either way I wouldnít be able to accommodate the girls sleeping in a separate area. Maybe just be upfront and ask what else there is you need to know. Even if you have to use google translate as someone else suggested.
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  #10  
Old 10-24-2018, 08:32 AM
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Default Thank you!

I spoke with her friend who helps her translate and she told me since they were so young, it was okay if she slept in the same room.

I think I will just keep doing what I'm doing though. She hasn't had any complaints now and it's been a few days. I think if it was really important, she would have told me about it by now.

All of the parents have been so needy lately; I'm really done with making all these special, last minute accommodations for everyone
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Old 10-24-2018, 01:14 PM
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I once had a situation where I let a parent know that I was going to cut out their 1 year old's morning nap and see how it went and to let me know how it went at home. It went great here, but somehow affected the routine at home and they weren't happy with it and asked me to switch it back. It was nice to have everyone on the same schedule in the morning and be able to spend more time outside, so it was a bummer to me. I vented to my Husband and he said "so don't discuss things like that with them unless they ask." Hmm, good point 👌 So, I don't share or include the parents as much on issues that I don't want their opinion on. Works great! 😁 I know if won't help now with this situation, but this made me think of that.
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Old 10-27-2018, 01:41 PM
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We had a muslim family. the only thing was no pork. There children (all boys) napped in the same room as little girls. Never was a issue. We did celebrate all holidays but we also asked the parent (via google translate) what holiday there religion celebrated around December. I cant remember what it was but there was one. We incorporated it into our learning too.
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Old 10-29-2018, 11:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flying_babyb View Post
We had a muslim family. the only thing was no pork. There children (all boys) napped in the same room as little girls. Never was a issue. We did celebrate all holidays but we also asked the parent (via google translate) what holiday there religion celebrated around December. I cant remember what it was but there was one. We incorporated it into our learning too.
This! I would not stop celebrating "Christmas" or call it something else like winter or holiday. That's just one of my pet peeves. Why change the name of something you've done for years for your dc kids because now you have a muslim family in attendance. I would call it what it is "Christmas" in fairness to all of your other children but then I would learn about muslim traditions and ask the family to input what they do and implement them into your daycare if you like to show the other kids different cultures. Maybe if there is a traditional food they make, the family may make it for your daycare. Great learning experience, but I wouldn't take away anything you already have. Just my opinion.
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Old 10-29-2018, 04:19 PM
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I had a Muslim family and like many others, the only accommodation that I had to do was not serve pork.
The sleeping thing never came up.

As far as the holidays went I did clarify to them that we do holidays here and that I embraced all of the children's religious and ethnic beliefs and that I would not stop celebrating the Christian and Jewish beliefs that we celebrated like Christmas, Easter, Hanukah, etc. but that it also meant that we would celebrate any holidays important to their family as well. I asked for help from the parents so that the celebrations could be authentic for their child, they were open to the idea which I was grateful for.

When Ramadan came up the parents suggested that instead of having the children fast (typically they start fasting for Ramadan when they're older) that we decide as a group one type of food that we would not eat during that time, the kids chose strawberries. It was really just a way to introduce the kids to other cultures and religions. I've been lucky so far that the families I have had have been very open-minded about it all.
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Old 10-30-2018, 05:46 AM
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Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
I had a Muslim family and like many others, the only accommodation that I had to do was not serve pork.
The sleeping thing never came up.

As far as the holidays went I did clarify to them that we do holidays here and that I embraced all of the children's religious and ethnic beliefs and that I would not stop celebrating the Christian and Jewish beliefs that we celebrated like Christmas, Easter, Hanukah, etc. but that it also meant that we would celebrate any holidays important to their family as well. I asked for help from the parents so that the celebrations could be authentic for their child, they were open to the idea which I was grateful for.

When Ramadan came up the parents suggested that instead of having the children fast (typically they start fasting for Ramadan when they're older) that we decide as a group one type of food that we would not eat during that time, the kids chose strawberries. It was really just a way to introduce the kids to other cultures and religions. I've been lucky so far that the families I have had have been very open-minded about it all.
Great idea!
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