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TwinKristi 11:42 AM 02-23-2014
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/02...of-discipline/
Someone I know posted this on Facebook and she's a preschool teacher and mom of 4. I'm curious on others take on this. I agree with some points but others kinda made me
Someone I know posted this on Facebook and she's a preschool teacher and mom of 4. I'm curious on others take on this. I agree with some points but others kinda made me
JenNJ 12:22 PM 02-23-2014
No. Just no. Number five is getting that reaction from me. It is never ok to hit. No matter how old or young you are. Hitting doesn't get a "no big deal" reaction from older kids, teens, or adults so it shouldn't for toddlers either.
The writer seems really odd and I'm wary of taking advice from anyone who thinks they are toddler like in their mind.
The writer seems really odd and I'm wary of taking advice from anyone who thinks they are toddler like in their mind.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:33 PM 02-23-2014
I liked a lot. #5 I did not agree with.
Blackcat31 05:44 PM 02-23-2014
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
The writer seems really odd and I'm wary of taking advice from anyone who thinks they are toddler like in their mind.
The writer seems really odd and I'm wary of taking advice from anyone who thinks they are toddler like in their mind.
That's what I was thinking too.
momofsix 07:26 AM 02-24-2014
Uuuummmm no! While she may have some valid points-it seems her (toddler) perspective is better/smarter/more correct than the adults. The toddlers feelings and thoughts seem to trump the adults in every situation. I didn't raise my kids with the idea that we were "equal" in every way. Dad and mom DO have the authority over them-that's our job! (NOT saying that we think children are second class citizens or anything even slightly like that so please don't think that. I'm just saying that parents are parents and kids are kids-at least that's the way it should be.)
Also-I found the comments very interesting!
Also-I found the comments very interesting!
cheerfuldom 08:02 AM 02-24-2014
I like the general idea of it and I love almost all of Janet's stuff. I would recommend for any parent or daycare provider to at least read some of her items and consider it. Doesn't mean you have to take all of it, but there is a lot of good stuff there. She is a RIE advocate and very pro- letting kids figure things out, not entertaining or distracting with loads of equipment and toys, balance with potty training and sleep training. I really appreciate all of the RIE principles. I know they are against baby wearing and some other things that I do enjoy for my family but again, read it over, take what you can and leave the rest.
Heidi 08:42 AM 02-24-2014
I am an old fan of Magda's work (Janet learned at Magda's RIE institute), and apply a lot of it in my work. Mostly, I like that it's pretty balanced and honest.
I agree that number 5 is not written well. She probably shouldn't have used hitting as an example. Maybe, touching the DVD player would have been a better one. There are some things, like hitting, biting, etc, that are SO unacceptable that a strong reaction IS appropriate. Plus, if you save the strong, ahem "scary" reactions for the big things, there is more of an impact.
I really, really like #2 and #7. So many parents are afraid of their toddlers reactions (oh, they'll scream and embarrass me). Kids learn really quick to manipulate that.
Also, I like #3. I take that as don't ASK your child to do/not do something that's not optional. Like "oh, honey pie, please sit down on the furniture because you might get hurt and I don't want to have to go to emergency room today because we need to go grocery shopping later and I just love you so much and don't want to see you hurt, my sweet little darling".
How about "I want you to sit down" in a friendly but firm voice? That's honest. YOU want him to sit down, end of story.
I agree that number 5 is not written well. She probably shouldn't have used hitting as an example. Maybe, touching the DVD player would have been a better one. There are some things, like hitting, biting, etc, that are SO unacceptable that a strong reaction IS appropriate. Plus, if you save the strong, ahem "scary" reactions for the big things, there is more of an impact.
I really, really like #2 and #7. So many parents are afraid of their toddlers reactions (oh, they'll scream and embarrass me). Kids learn really quick to manipulate that.
Also, I like #3. I take that as don't ASK your child to do/not do something that's not optional. Like "oh, honey pie, please sit down on the furniture because you might get hurt and I don't want to have to go to emergency room today because we need to go grocery shopping later and I just love you so much and don't want to see you hurt, my sweet little darling".
How about "I want you to sit down" in a friendly but firm voice? That's honest. YOU want him to sit down, end of story.
melskids 09:46 AM 02-24-2014
I actually really like Janet Lansbury.
I don't think she was trying to say that hitting was no big deal, just that our reaction to the behavior is what is important.
I don't think she was trying to say that hitting was no big deal, just that our reaction to the behavior is what is important.
daycarediva 09:55 AM 02-24-2014
I think #5 was poorly worded. I think I understand what she is saying, that a child needs to feel like WE/adult is in control and capable of guiding them. I didn't think she really meant like 'all behavior is no big deal.'
I try (as a parent and child care provider) not to make a big deal out of little things. That way when I DO make a 'big deal', give 'the look' or raise my voice AT ALL, it's SERIOUS and I get my message across.
I try (as a parent and child care provider) not to make a big deal out of little things. That way when I DO make a 'big deal', give 'the look' or raise my voice AT ALL, it's SERIOUS and I get my message across.
Heidi 10:11 AM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I think #5 was poorly worded. I think I understand what she is saying, that a child needs to feel like WE/adult is in control and capable of guiding them. I didn't think she really meant like 'all behavior is no big deal.'
I try (as a parent and child care provider) not to make a big deal out of little things. That way when I DO make a 'big deal', give 'the look' or raise my voice AT ALL, it's SERIOUS and I get my message across.
I think #5 was poorly worded. I think I understand what she is saying, that a child needs to feel like WE/adult is in control and capable of guiding them. I didn't think she really meant like 'all behavior is no big deal.'
I try (as a parent and child care provider) not to make a big deal out of little things. That way when I DO make a 'big deal', give 'the look' or raise my voice AT ALL, it's SERIOUS and I get my message across.
Part of the philosophy behind the approach is sort of "kinder, gentler" and "mutual respect" So, hitting in general is hopefully not often a concern. Still, it happens. By mutual respect, they mean that children are treated as capable and with kindness, not that they necessarily are equal to adults in social status.
melskids 10:59 AM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Part of the philosophy behind the approach is sort of "kinder, gentler" and "mutual respect" So, hitting in general is hopefully not often a concern. Still, it happens. By mutual respect, they mean that children are treated as capable and with kindness, not that they necessarily are equal to adults in social status.
Part of the philosophy behind the approach is sort of "kinder, gentler" and "mutual respect" So, hitting in general is hopefully not often a concern. Still, it happens. By mutual respect, they mean that children are treated as capable and with kindness, not that they necessarily are equal to adults in social status.