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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>This Is Really Really Heartbreaking....
cheerfuldom 08:11 PM 02-21-2012
I am seeing more and more ads on various sites for parents that are looking for evening and weekend childcare. They straight out say that the child goes to daycare full time during the day. So when do they even see this child????

One ad had a one year old that goes to daycare full time M-F. Parents want an evening nanny to pick up from daycare, occasionally having to spend the night during the week. Also, 2 weeks out of every 8 weeks, they need full time on the weekends too. What kind of job is this when there would be some weeks when this child would literally not see their parents at all? It is just too sad. Is anyone else seeing these type of ads pop up more and more?
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daycare 08:22 PM 02-21-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am seeing more and more ads on various sites for parents that are looking for evening and weekend childcare. They straight out say that the child goes to daycare full time during the day. So when do they even see this child????

One ad had a one year old that goes to daycare full time M-F. Parents want an evening nanny to pick up from daycare, occasionally having to spend the night during the week. Also, 2 weeks out of every 8 weeks, they need full time on the weekends too. What kind of job is this when there would be some weeks when this child would literally not see their parents at all? It is just too sad. Is anyone else seeing these type of ads pop up more and more?
Maybe they are doctors?? My dad worked as a doctor when i was growing up. My mom was a nurse, but went part time when we got a little older. My grandma had us, then she passed away.

My dad worked long hard hours, but when he had time off, he was always taking us places. However, he was on call a lot and if he got called in, then someone had to be there.

That could be the case, however, you are right that does sound really really sad......
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Michael 12:10 AM 02-22-2012
That's just sad.
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Meyou 03:47 AM 02-22-2012
I know I have one DCF that uses childcare on the weekends. They "can't get anything done" unless they have a sitter at home during the day so they can do other things.
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Sunchimes 04:43 AM 02-22-2012
It's a shame that the list of things that need to get done doesn't include becoming acquainted with their children.
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Meyou 04:59 AM 02-22-2012
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
It's a shame that the list of things that need to get done doesn't include becoming acquainted with their children.
But they buy them all sorts of cool stuff instead! That's ok, right?
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Sunchimes 05:16 AM 02-22-2012
Right, right. Even though they are never home to play with it. But, I'm sure that they try hard to find them a really loving day care provider, so at least the kids have someone who loves them.
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Crazy8 05:42 AM 02-22-2012
I've seen it in my own family. Using the excuse how the grandparents "WANT" to spend time with the child so they drop child off Sat. afternoon and pick up Sunday dinnertime. How about the child WANTING to spend time withe the parents?????
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itlw8 05:53 AM 02-22-2012
fireman, nurse, people that work in hospital with 12 hour shifts and rotating schedules single parents that work nights in factories

Those night shifts pay more and often are the entry level. they are just glad to have a job. But yet need to sleep when the child is awake.
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Cat Herder 05:55 AM 02-22-2012
It is frustrating to watch.

On the flip side, it seems everyday I see another story of parents killing their children in my morning news feed.

Maybe it has more to do with the fact parents today are afraid to discipline along with other societal/family/mental health issues?

IDK, it has been depressing in the world of child advocacy lately....feels like beating my head against a brick wall.

Some days I want to dump birth control in the water supply to stop the cycle ...so instead I work extra hard with the children I can impact...
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Cat Herder 05:57 AM 02-22-2012
Originally Posted by itlw8:
fireman, nurse, people that work in hospital with 12 hour shifts and rotating schedules single parents that work nights in factories

Those night shifts pay more and often are the entry level. they are just glad to have a job. But yet need to sleep when the child is awake.
Those are the fields my DH and I are also in. It is not 7 days a week....that is how I am able to do both.
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small_steps 06:18 AM 02-22-2012
I had a little boy about a year ago. He had some very bad behavior problems. Later he was diagnosed with ADHD but even on his medicine I still think his behavior problems are because he doesn't get disciplined at home at all.. but that could be because he never sees his parents. Your post reminds me of his situation. I feel really bad for him. His dad works as a security guard..(making about $9 an hour) and then he takes classes 2nights a week. So he only has one night off per week to spend with his son. He doesn't go into work until about 2 in the afternoon and works until midnight or so but he send his now 5 year old (starts kindy this year) to preschool every morning so he only sees his child maybe an hour each morning before preschool. Its' so sad to me... no wonder he has no boundaries...he is in preschool, one daycare 4 evenings a week and another babysitter 2 evenings per week.
I treasure every moment with my kiddos. Now i"m not saying I don't appreciate a night out every now and then by myself or with friends but 95% of the time, if my kids aren't in school they are with me and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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momofboys 06:23 AM 02-22-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am seeing more and more ads on various sites for parents that are looking for evening and weekend childcare. They straight out say that the child goes to daycare full time during the day. So when do they even see this child????

One ad had a one year old that goes to daycare full time M-F. Parents want an evening nanny to pick up from daycare, occasionally having to spend the night during the week. Also, 2 weeks out of every 8 weeks, they need full time on the weekends too. What kind of job is this when there would be some weeks when this child would literally not see their parents at all? It is just too sad. Is anyone else seeing these type of ads pop up more and more?
My BIL is a doctor in an ER & he does work odd hours - weekends/overnights/day shift - it always varies. My sis is a SAHM so it doesn't matter for their kids but I can understand there are a lot of professions where people do work weekends.
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icaredaycare 06:24 AM 02-22-2012
these are sad circumstances, but lets just hope there is a legitimate reason.

I have had parents ask me to watch over night so that they can go, "clubbing."

I have also had parents ask for weekends, so that they can go shopping.

those are horrible reasons to leave your child. of course i said no.
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countrymom 06:32 AM 02-22-2012
for those jobs that require 12 hours, they usually do 3 12 hour shifts and then they are off. Many don't work 5 to 7 days a week straight 12 hours. Also, many families don't have both parents working the same hours. I will guarentee you that most of the time people just don't want to deal with their kids. its a "me" generation.
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MyAngels 06:41 AM 02-22-2012
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
It's a shame that the list of things that need to get done doesn't include becoming acquainted with their children.

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Blackcat31 06:44 AM 02-22-2012
I have a daycare girl who comes from 8:30 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. every day because her mom is in college full time. The mom picks up the little girl at 4 and drops her off at a local 24 hours child care center so she can be to work by 5:00. She then picks the child up at 10:30 p.m. and brings her home to go to bed. She does this 5 days a week.

It is sad, but the mom is trying really hard to put herself through college and work too. She is a single mom and has very limited family members in the area to help her out. The mom grew up in the foster care system herself so she is really adamant about making a better life for herself and her DD.

She justifies her lack of time with her child by making sure she spends every single day off she has with the DD and she says that college is only for a few years. Then she will be able to get a better job and hopefully have more time to spend with her child.

I can't fault her for trying but it is sad too that the child doesn't get to spend much time with her mom. But the DD is a really good girl and VERY well behaved so someone is doing something right.

I also have a parent who works four 12 hour day shifts and then switches to three 12 hour night shifts. The only day off they have is 1 day in between the shift changes.
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godiva83 06:55 AM 02-22-2012
My dad was a single dad raising two children and worked very very hard to give us all the best in life... But, he also knew time was the must valuable and did everything in his powers so he could spend quality time with us - if this meant no time for 'him' time so be it.
It was hard on him, but like he said worth it as you can never get time back, but there will always be time to work, make money, and have a social life.

So yes, he put his so called 'life' on hold while we were young children and made up for it when we were older and off to school.

I wish more parents these days understood the importance of 'time' and the importance of spending that time with your children
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mrsp'slilpeeps 08:38 AM 02-22-2012
I have 2 boys that come to my house on fridays for drop off care, so that mom can get ready to go out on friday night and pay another sitter to watch her boys at night.

It's no flippin wonder they hate coming to my house.
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cheerfuldom 08:45 AM 02-22-2012
I understand not every job is 8 to 5 but in this case, there is a two week period every 8 weeks where the child does not see their parent AT ALL (not even at night!) from the sounds of the ad and the rest of the time, it is only a small portion of the day.
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daycare 08:53 AM 02-22-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I understand not every job is 8 to 5 but in this case, there is a two week period every 8 weeks where the child does not see their parent AT ALL (not even at night!) from the sounds of the ad and the rest of the time, it is only a small portion of the day.
not saying that its right at all, but thank god that the parent realizes that they can not care for the child and is having someone else do it. I was put in this situation before.

It was so so sad. The mom actually told me that she never thought that it would be so hard having to care for a 20 month old and a 3.5 year old and that she just could not take it anymore and this is why she needed them in care for 14 hour days.

I believe that she was suffering from postpartum depression, she was very off.

As much as I wanted to be there for the children, I did not sign the family up to raise their kids too. I had to let them go. I told her that I felt it was in her best interest to get help and also hire a Nanny. Of course she was mad beyond belief.

It was super sad to see her kids come in the morning and hug me and kiss me as if I was their mom.

Over time the mom got jealous of that and started to be mean to me. This is when I threw in the towel.
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Tags:parents - don't appreciate, parents - don't want kids
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