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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>For Those Of You That Don’t Do Presents And Parties......
mrsp'slilpeeps 12:35 PM 06-18-2013
This is a spin off from my last post, Cheerfuldom go me curious as to why not?

Some of you don't do special holiday crafts, birthdays, going away parties.

Not judging, I'm starting to feel the same way. I would like to know why you don't.
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Blackcat31 12:40 PM 06-18-2013
That would be me.

I don't do parties because they aren't inclusive to everyone. NOT everyone celebrates Christmas, Easter etc. NOT everyone has a mom or a dad....

I don't do going away parties because I have served hundreds of children over the years.

Some stay from infancy until school age and others only a short while.

Parties disrupt my normal flow of things and I live by routine and consistency.

Parties are also something that seems to revolve around bad foods and bad behaviors....kwim?

I also think that just because someone is leaving my program, doesn't mean it is good bye for ever or for everyone as this is a smaller community and most these kids will go to school together no matter where they attended child care.

I choose to celebrate holidays with my family and not get overly involved in the commercialism of a lot of them with the daycare kids. The parents can do that on their time.

I offer art materials and supplies so the kids are free to make whatever they want whenever they want but I don't have a specific craft or product that is expected based on an upcoming holiday and/or celebration.

HTH
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mrsp'slilpeeps 12:47 PM 06-18-2013
Blackcat, do the parents say anything or ask why not?

I have found that no one is appreciative of the little holiday treat bags or crafts/mom day/fathers day stuff anymore.

And frankly, I'm tired of wasting my money.
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Blackcat31 12:55 PM 06-18-2013
I cover this topic and why during the interview so parents know coming in to not expect anything like that.

I haven't really had any parents be upset or wishful about it.

Most of them say, "Good, that's one less thing I have to buy a gift or contribute to".....
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crazydaycarelady 01:02 PM 06-18-2013
I don't do parties either. For birthdays we have a treat (optional, the parents bring it) and I give a small gift. Recent gifts have been a large container of bubbles and some sidewalk chalk for around $5.

Other holidays we may have a treat, I may send home a treat, but no parties.
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LK5kids 01:18 PM 06-18-2013
I am minimalist in the party/gift area. I have a birthday box filled with items from the $1.00 store.

I don't do a bunch of games for holidays. Maybe one simple beanbag game.

They do not dress up for Halloween here.

I have never done going away gifts.

I always did one simple treat for parties. This year I might be adventurous and have each family bring something and have a big smorgasbord!

I am not much for parties or field trips!
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cheerfuldom 01:53 PM 06-18-2013
same reasons as everyone else already said. sometimes I will do little things but the reality is that I am a busy mom of four on a very tight budget. sending home things that the kids are going to trash or the parents are going to throw away is not even remotely on my priority list. I have never had a parent complain about it. In fact, it seems like I used to get A LOT more complaints when I did do more which is annoyingly ironic, wouldnt you say?

Now if I have the time and the energy, I will get something special going. If I don't, I won't.

but all that said, I dont have a large program of kids. If I had a large group with a structured preschool then yes, I think parents expect something like parties and holidays usually or at least something to replace those type of things.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 02:06 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
Blackcat, do the parents say anything or ask why not?

I have found that no one is appreciative of the little holiday treat bags or crafts/mom day/fathers day stuff anymore.

And frankly, I'm tired of wasting my money.
I am a Christian daycare so we, quite obviously, celebrate Christian holidays here.

I do LITTLE gifts for Father's Day and Mother's Day. I do a $1 gift for birthdays, if their birthday falls on the day they attend (a coloring books/a cheap book from the dollar store/etc.).
For Christmas, they do a book exchange. They must bring in a wrapped book to exchange with "From: ___" written on it.
For Easter, they bring in 6 filled eggs.

Other than Father's Day, Mother's Day, and their birthday (maybe) I don't do gifts.

Parties? We do a special treat for snack on birthdays if they brought something in. We do a "Fall Festival" party in the fall that is a lot of fun (apple bobbing, face painting, dancing, etc.) and we do a little Christmas celebration in the winter which is when we do the book exchange and Santa comes (I own a Santa suit and have my Dad wear it). But, that's it as far as parties go. This year I tried a Valentine's Day party and I didn't like it. So, never again.
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SquirrellyMama 02:50 PM 06-18-2013
I don't do them because I think it is very stressful planning parties. I am not a party planner

K
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Meyou 02:18 AM 06-19-2013
I've found a decent balance by making cupcakes on birthday days (frosted banana muffins) and incorporating dance contests or races outside as part of our normal afternoon. I call them PARTY RACES and PARTY DANCING. The kids LOVE it and I really do nothing different than a normal day other than using the word party.

I don't do gifts or anything elaborate.
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Josiegirl 02:24 AM 06-19-2013
I wish I had never started them. The kids expect gifts, they expect parties. They lose their sense of appreciation and sometimes I get those 'Is that all there is?' comments. Drives me insane. I cannot compete with the materialism of most families and I feel like I'm doing them out of obligation now.
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Play Care 03:02 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I wish I had never started them. The kids expect gifts, they expect parties. They lose their sense of appreciation and sometimes I get those 'Is that all there is?' comments. Drives me insane. I cannot compete with the materialism of most families and I feel like I'm doing them out of obligation now.
When I first started out I got a few kids from a retiring provider. She went out of her way for all holidays, birthdays, etc. And it seemed the parents expected that to continue. So I did. But I've started getting away from it recently and want to put something out there about not celebrating holidays and birthdays with gifts/parties. There isn't anything in my contract about it - but thought maybe the summer newsletter could have a blurb about it, but not sure about wording.
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Laurel 04:34 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
This is a spin off from my last post, Cheerfuldom go me curious as to why not?

Some of you don't do special holiday crafts, birthdays, going away parties.

Not judging, I'm starting to feel the same way. I would like to know why you don't.
I don't do parties. I do buy each child a birthday and Christmas gift in the $10 to $15 range. I wrap them and they take them home wrapped. Nothing is opened at my house. To me it is to thank the parent for their business. I rarely get a thank you anymore btw.

For birthdays if the parent wants to bring a treat they can. Otherwise I light a regular candle and we sing Happy Birthday and have an otherwise normal day. They LOVE the candle with the lights out at lunch time. So it acknowledges their birthday but we don't really celebrate it.

Holiday crafts we do if I feel in the mood. Most of the time I feel in the mood to do one or two during the month of December but we do other crafts and art.

One time I had a 4 year old whose parents wanted to bring party things so I told dad that was fine. So he and his daughter made a homemade Blues Clues cake and he brought hats, blowers, balloons, etc. That was the best birthday party ever because I told the little girl we could do it her way. So for one activity we blew up the balloons and played with them, later in the day they wore the hats around and just spread it out over the whole day amongst regular things. It was soooo non stressful. I thought it was sweet that dad and daughter made the cake together instead of stopping at the store for premade cupcakes.

My provider friend does the full out party thing. She is doing a going away one today. Not sure why she does it as she always complains about it. For birthday's she has each child bring a party bag for each child. So each child gets 5 or 6 of them. Too much!

The WHY is because I thought it was excessive. I'd hear that we had a party at mom's house, at dad's house, at grandma's house and then at my house. Some of those parties were week long events. Geez.

For going away, if they have been with me for years, I give them a memory book. One of those for each year of school and I fill out the preschool one or give them a small photo album of pictures I took of them. If they haven't been with me long I 'might' give them a little present. Depends on the situation.

Laurel
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countrymom 05:42 AM 06-19-2013
it all depends how I feel. Sometimes I feel like a party and sometimes I don't. And it all depends who is here. I do buy christmas gifts and birthday gifts.

this made me sad, I have dcg, who goes to another daycare 3 days a week (long story) so she is here 2 days a week. I asked her if they made something for mothers day and she said no, they don't celebrate nothing at the daycare. So we did something here. All my parents loved their presents. It was so appreciated. My kids brought something home from school too. I just think its so sad that nothing is being celebrated, I'm not saying to have a party (cause it depends what mood i'm in) but I do have a sticker and a crown that the kids do get when its their birthday, along with a present. Its the little things that the kids love.
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daycaremum 06:07 AM 06-19-2013
I give the kids an under $5 gift for birthdays (usually a book) and under $10 gift for Christmas.
We don't do birthday parties but we sing happy birthday at lunch time. If the parents bring in cupcakes that's a nice surprise.
We do a special craft for holidays, (I prefer crafts that the children can do all themselves, I don't do complicated crafts that are super cute yet I end up doing all the work because it's developmentally inappropriate for the kids).
I give each child a "leaving" gift, usually a book.
I also give a treat bag for Easter and Halloween.
If I give the children something they take it home and open it there.
I agree that children have so much excess from their own friends and family, I don't need to add more to it.
I don't have any kids that don't celebrate the holidays and I've always had kids that have both parents.
I'm about simple gestures, not elaborate shows.
If we did big parties for all these things, between holidays and birthdays we'd being having a party every month!!!!
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JenNJ 06:08 AM 06-19-2013
I don't do holiday celebrations other than Thanksgiving. For that I just make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and serve it the day before.

Each child gets homemade pizza for lunch on their birthday and we sing happy birthday at afternoon snack. Not very exciting. I used to do birthdays, but some parents would send in cupcakes, Munchkins, cake, etc. and some wouldn't. It was really obvious to some kids and it led to hurt feelings. Plus, I don't feel comfortable serving food that I haven't prepared myself. I don't know how clean their kitchens are or their level of cleanliness is for food prep.

I don't do crafts. At all. I personally feel that they are a waste of time and effort. The children gain very little from them and I end up doing most of the work. I give the kids time each day to use whatever craft and art supplies are on the table. Kids choose to color, cut, glue, and paint most of the time. They never make much of anything that they want to take home. It is about the process, not the final product.
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itlw8 06:49 AM 06-19-2013
I do not do parties because the kids get so hyper I like to keep it calm ad the they have that excitement at home. I do ot have them exchange gifts but I do give each child a book for for Christmas and Birthdays. I get a great deal because dh works at Scholastic.

Now I do a Gingerbread house party in Dec that is a big deal but it is a Saturday so all the parents come help with their child. I have premade the houses so all I do that day is make sure they all have frosting.

I have done a bbq in the summer before for families.
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jenn 07:04 AM 06-19-2013
I do some and skip some.

If invited to a bday party, I go. Otherwise, I do a small gift that they open here or take home to open. If they are here on their bday, we sing to them during our normal snack time.

As for holidays, I don't really do much. It is stressful for me, stressful for some kids, and the parents don't seem to care one way or the other. We never do a holiday party and rarely do a holiday craft (sometimes we do a parent present for Christmas, like a handprint).

I always have misc art supplies available. Around holidays, I will sometimes add holiday materials. For example, around Christmas I put a bag on sticky bows in the craft box. At easter I put some egg shaped paper in the box. For the 4th of July, I will put in some red, white, and blue paper & stickers. If they make something with those supplies, great. If not, that's fine.
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tuszak 03:46 PM 06-19-2013
After 27 years I have found that most parents could care less and with all my planning and trying to get everything done in time is just not worth the stress. At first I did it all, Birthdays, Holidays, Goodbye's ...but parents were pretty ungreatfull. Even at Christmas most parents don't even give me anything, but I always send them home with a box of See's candy for the whole family with a card. I only care for infants and toddlers and its just too hard to get things made and still focus on the kids. I figure they can do that stuff at home if they want to and its not my job to do that stuff with them.
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Dardy 05:21 AM 06-20-2013
After 23yrs I have made adjustments in my program to what really is effective and makes me feel good when all is done. Homemade cards for V-Day for friends, green food for St. Pat's, egg hunt w/150 eggs in my yard, flower day in April with trip to local green house(they pick-I purchase) and they plant at their home, shop for mom at $ store with $2-$3( it is all about learning to give), shop for dad(ditto), and then my weekly summer field trips kick in. thanksgiving dinner on wed. prior and finally Christmas party with $5 gift exchange. I spend on average of $50 each for their gift. I have infants through age 8 yrs. and summer trips include mini-golf, pet store, fire station, library, visit a farm, etc. I also do school year round every morning for 2 hours starting at age 1 1/2. I'm in my sixties and have no plans for retirement anytime soon. Love it!
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Laurel 09:39 AM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by Dardy:
After 23yrs I have made adjustments in my program to what really is effective and makes me feel good when all is done. Homemade cards for V-Day for friends, green food for St. Pat's, egg hunt w/150 eggs in my yard, flower day in April with trip to local green house(they pick-I purchase) and they plant at their home, shop for mom at $ store with $2-$3( it is all about learning to give), shop for dad(ditto), and then my weekly summer field trips kick in. thanksgiving dinner on wed. prior and finally Christmas party with $5 gift exchange. I spend on average of $50 each for their gift. I have infants through age 8 yrs. and summer trips include mini-golf, pet store, fire station, library, visit a farm, etc. I also do school year round every morning for 2 hours starting at age 1 1/2. I'm in my sixties and have no plans for retirement anytime soon. Love it!
I like how you say that you do what makes you feel good. I do also and am also in my 60's. What makes me feel good though is NOT doing much and keeping things very, very simple.

I am also entertaining doing some not so popular holidays like May Day. I didn't plan well enough this year but I think it would be neat for the children to put little cones of flowers on my neighbor's doorknobs....things like that.

I also like to do things like make cookies with the older children but not at Christmas. I prefer the 'do what you feel when you feel like it' approach. Paintbrush cookies are fun anytime. We like to watch Christmas videos in the summertime too. My two friends who are also providers and also in their 60's go all out like you do for occasions. Been there, done that. Not for me but it is cool that you 3 like to do that.

Laurel
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