I have a 14 month old that I've had since August. She cries every day...almost all day. She does really well when she first gets here in the mornings because she is the first one for about 30min to 1 hour. She moves around and plays and doesn't really need much attention from me. However, as soon as the other kids begin to get here she starts crying for me. This is a busy time for me because I'm getting breakfast ready and can't sit and hold her (which I can't really do all day anyway). So she cries and I try to let her cio...she'll stop occasionally and play and then a few min later she is crying again. Now she is napping right after breakfast for an hour and then she gets up, does well for about an hour and then starts crying again until its lunch and nap time again. Her afternoon nap (with the other kids) is about 2-2 & 1/2 hours most days and she gets up about 2:30, does well until about 3:30/4 and then it's crying until pick up.

I'm not sure what else to try. Does anyone have any suggestions. She's been here long enough to be used to this. Mom says she doesn't do this that much at home but mom's friend that picked up the other day said she does do this at home to mom. Also, she screams whenever I have a visitor here or a parent picks up and I'm not holding her. The day my licensor was here she screamed the whole time, even though I was holding her. It's like she doesn't like people around, even when they aren't strangers. She has seen my mom and grandma often but still screams when they are here...the whole time.
I don't want to term because they are my neighbors...good about paying...and are expecting another baby in January that I will get in Feb. But I can't go on like this either with the crying.
Any ideas are appreciated! Thanks in advance.

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I think that she will get used to this provided you are very consistent. To be honest, at this point I would not carry her at all unless you absolutely have to. She can walk. I would also start putting her down for nap as soon as she gets to daycare. Do one early nap for at least an hour, maybe even two and then keep her up till the noon nap. The fact that she cannot stay happy past about and hour and a half tells me that she is actually overtired and that is going to add to the crying. The 30 min. nap mid morning is not enough. I would be napping her for at least 2 two hour naps a day, if not a little more. the fact that the friend says she crys all the time at home also shows that you may not be able to trust what mom says about her night sleeping or naps on the weekends.

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Unfortunately I don't have any good advice, but I did have a little girl just like this. She eventually outgrew it around 20 months or so and became the sweetest child after that.

I did create her own play space where only she could go and that helped a bit. I would also put her in the high chair in another room quickly when I saw another parent pull into the drive in the morning during drop offs to lessen her anxiety then. Fortunately she was the first to go home in the afternoon so I didn't have to worry about the stranger anxiety at that time.

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I'm trying the long morning nap today. She went down at about 7:30 and I'm about to get her up now so she will have had 2 hours. I hope that this helps. She goes to bed really early at night supposedely. They put her down at like 7 every night (she gets picked up here at 5:30 so it's kinda sad that she doesn't spend much time with them). And then she gets here at 6:30. I know I should put her down at 6:30 when she first arrives but she doesn't usually go to sleep right away when I do that and she cries (very loudly) and I don't want her to wake my own kids up. They don't have to get up until 7am. So today the plan is for her to have her 2 hour morning nap and then I will put her down at noon again and hope for a better afternoon. I really hope this helps. I know I shouldn't be having to hold her much but she gets on the nerves of all of us (kids & me) with all that screaming and crying she does. I also think this weekend I'm going to make her a little toddler zone she can go to. Maybe she will do better if she's in there alone.

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I think I've actually written this post! Mine came in August when she was 11 months old. 12 1/2 hour days and she cried except when eating or sleeping. She wanted to be held and hated the other kids. If a kid looked at her or touched her, or oh dear, tripped and bumped her, complete meltdown. When a parent or even my husband looked in the door, she cried. Sometimes, she would sit in the floor alone and suddenly start crying.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't me because she came right to me in the mornings and rarely cried when her mom left.

I started by putting her pnp in another room so she was sleeping alone. That got longer naps and a little longer stretch of silence, but it didn't solve the crying when she was awake.

She's a huge eater, much larger than the other children the same age, so I thought maybe she was hungry. I started feeding her much larger portions than required (at her mother's suggestion) and it helped some. She doesn't get picked up until after 6, and about 5:30, she was falling apart. Now, we have a small snack and it helps.

About 2 or 3 weeks ago, it stopped. Just stopped. She smiles, she laughs, she lets the other kids touch her. One little one likes to hold hands and dance-that was always a bad time. Earlier this week, she allowed it and danced. Yesterday, she was playing in the block tub with another girl. When the other dcm came to pick up her daughter, mom was sitting in the floor to fix her kid's hair before they went to a party. Screaming kid went over, scooched the girl out of the way and sat in dcm's lap. Mom knew the problems we'd been having, and we all rejoiced.

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Sunchimes....I seriously hope that happens here lol. You're right..you pretty much described my little one. And now it's almost lunch time and she's getting a little fussy but most of the morning she's been good . Guess the 2 hour nap did her good however, I'm worried she may not go back to nap when the other kids do but I'm going to lay her down anyway and see what happens. Mine is also a large eater (she's a large child period lol). I'm betting she weighs more than my almost 3 year old. So maybe I should feed her a little more. I will try that today too. And I could give her another snack toward the end of the day but then they all want one and I have 11 kids so that gets costly (I already serve an afternoon snack at about 2:30-3) but she would eat all day if I let her. Keep these suggestions coming. I'm willing to try almost anything.

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Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I only see this situation getting worse once that baby arrives. I hope I'm wrong...

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I'm hoping for the opposite...that once the baby arrives she will get better. I know that won't happen right away but I'm thinking she is going to have a rude awakening when she's not the only child anymore and has to share the attention with the brother. Right now she is the only child and is doted on I'm sure. She is back asleep again for nap #2..and I fed her a little extra today so I'm hoping she takes a good long nap and has a great afternoon. She is here from 6:30am until 5:30 pm...I feel kinda sorry for her for having to be here that long and that could even be part of her problem.

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I just thought of something else I changed. I quit trying to console her. At first, I tried to figure out what was wrong, wore myself out keeping the other kids away from her, and tried to distract her. I just stopped that. I honestly don't think the crying is drama queen fake, I think she's really upset over something. She had never been in care or been around other children. I think she was afraid and use to being the center of attention in a quiet house. That isn't my house. ;-)

She's bigger too. She came at 11 months wearing 2T clothes. I greet each day now with hope, but I stay prepared for it to be a mean trick and the crying to start again. ;-)

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I had one kind of like that. He started coming to me at 12 months and he finally got over it at about 16 months. He had a relative that came over and watched him until he was 9 months, then he went to another home daycare. He came to me when the other provider went on maternaty leave and his parents ended up liking my place better. He cried when ever I walked away from him. He wanted to be held when other DCP's picked up, my husband came home, ect. At about 14 months it started to get alot better, but he started teething and that brought out in full force again. Being tired and not sleeping increased the anxiety. He did this at home too. Finally one day it got better. I had him playing with toys by my feet when I was cooking. He wanted to be right near me every second of the day. The provider that he was at for 3 months said she never picked him up and did the CIO and he never improved for her. I had gotten to the point where I was taking his hand and having him shadow me to keep him from crying. I really thought he was scared. There were certain times where I could tell it was kind of a control thing and I didn't give into them, but the majority of the time it really seemed like he was scared. Then between 15 and 16 months it slowly got better. For the most part he is the last one here in the am and he is either the first one picked up, so he doesn't see the other parents. He is now 21 months and is just started to not be scared ****less of my husband. He quit crying and asking to be picked up when my husband came home, but would go play in the other room or hide. Before he only saw my husband 5 to 10 minutes per week where now he sees him a bit more. When he was in that phase he never got use to my daughter over the summer. She was home almost every day and he wouldn't let her pick him up and cried when ever she came near him. He still is very nervous with strangers, but people that he sees daily(even if for a couple of minutes) he doesn't mind so much.

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