I have a boy that will be 2 next week. So I printed out a paper with typical child development for that age. He only has a vocabulary of about 10 words. When I mention the fact that he should be speaking more words and it propably would be a good idea to mention it to his dr at his check-up, she goes off about her cousin being a speech pathologist and that he says he is fine. Which I reply I am sure he is fine but that maybe getting some extra help couldn't hurt. Also mom and dad stick a pacifier in his mouth the second they pick him up. I don't give it to him all day when he is here.
Why is it that parents get on the defensive the minute you mention something to them about their child? Anyone have any words of advise on how to get parents on board for extra help? Thanks

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First they need to pull their heads out of the sand.

Yes, their cousin may be a speech pathologist but has he/she actually evaluated the child?

That paci is probably the root to the delay.

I hate it when parents won't listen to providers about these things. I see them at 4-5 in tears because they can't speak clearly and can't be understood. Early intervention can prevent a multitude of frustration.

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I don't have any help, but have a similar problem. I have a DCB (2 next week) who does not say a single word. He points, nods/shakes his head, and waves bye, but does not talk. Over the last 2 weeks, he just started interacting with other kids. Otherwise he is always withdrawn and would rather be by himself. I haven't said anything to the parents about his speech. His father is pretty rude about everything else, so I'm scared what he would say if I would say something.

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supposively the cousin has evaluated him but I doubt it. I think some parents just think if they ignore the problem it will go away. I agree that the paci is a big problem. I have told the mom that he is fine all day here without it and she says well the car rides he screams if he doesn't have it. Okay buy some ear plugs or turn up the radio. Or better yet talk to him about his day and try to get him to talk back.

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I wouldn't go any further with it.

You have said your peace and they have rejected it. They feel comfortable with where he is at.

If he's not talking by age three bring it up again.

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Sounds like the parents are in denial. I had a similar situation recently with one of my dcbs. He'd been with me since he was 6 mths old and over time I noticed he was not progressing with his speech.

At 2 1/2, he still was hardly saying anything and the parents tried to reassure me that he talked at home.

I have dealt with autistic children and I was concerned with some of his other behaviors and lack of social interactions too.

Unfortunately there is not much you can do, but point out your observations and encourage them to have his hearing tested.

Finally when this little guy was almost 3, dcm had his hearing checked and when it was fine and the Dr. referred her to a specialist. Turns out he is on the spectrum of autism and is now going to classes for his special needs.

It was frustrating because early intervention is key and they wasted so much valuable time before getting him diagnosed.

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I would still do one more step. I would put out a newsletter informing parents you will be having a person come out from *** business to do evaluations. Then set up a day that this child and most of your other children attend regularly and have a study done.

Our daycare did this last year and 3-4 kids in the group were recommended with some sort of intervention or something they should keep an eye on. Of course, half the parents are in denial til this day, but at least you put your best effort forth and can continue to do your best caring for the children.

You can also create a "TIDBITS" section on your bulletin board and/or newsletter and write about Pacifiers. How they're meant to soothe a baby and how they affect children when used too long/too often.....buck teeth, delayed speech, etc.

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I have one child who is 2 and a half who was evaluated by a speech therapist, she even came here to see him in the setting he is mostly in. He will make sounds and nod his head but only a few words that are true "words" she gave me some things to tell the parents and hand out to them. She said at home meeting he would not say a word and just made a sound and his needs were taken care of.

Dad also uses baby talk with him, and he has an older sibling. So there is always someone there for him doing it for him at home. Here he is more independent and catches on quicker. Using questions and asking the other kids first, him last seems to work and he will try to say the words.

Its hard for me, because even at the few minutes of interaction I see from mom/dad at pickup/drop off, its baby talk or them doing EVERYTHING for him. I cant change that!

I would say little notes about things for EVERYONE and just do what you can , is all you can do!

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Just so you know, not everyone is gung ho on early intervention. I know my ds had an evaluation at 2 (because he was already getting PT and the PT suggested it), and his language development was at 11 months. They told me to come back when he was 2.5 to do a more intense evaluation. Well, I called back to schedule the appointment, but by that time he was talking in full sentences. He's still a quiet kid (at 3.5), way ahead in language development, but quiet. So it might be that they actually did check it out, and they are waiting, or he's okay. You mentioned it, now it's up to the parents to follow through if they want to.

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Parents do not always respond well to someone making statements about their child because they see it as a reflection on their parenting. I would do as Nan suggested and leave it alone. I am sure this child is seeing his pediatrician for well child checks and 2 is also quite young.

At 2 years old their developmentally milestones are sometimes worlds apart form the norm and if he isn't making any progress by age 3 I would bring it up again. But until then, you can try to help him articulate his needs and wants by setting up an environment that is supportive of his learning.

My own son didn't say one word to anyone other than myself, his father and sister until he was 3 years old. He was evaluated but didn't feel comfortable enough with the evaluator to even try to be himself and show her what he could and couldn't do.

I would check periodically and see if he could point to his eyes, ears, colors, etc and felt good that he was understanding what was being said and asked of him. I felt okay that other milestones were being met and thought I have plenty of time since he was only 2 so I'd wait it out. Our community education services recommend evaluation at 3 to 3.5 so it wasn't presssing that he speak at 2.

One day about a month after his 3rd birthday he simply starting talking. Full sentences and big words! Floored us but we were happy.....now he doesn't shut up some days!! LOL!! (he is 19 now) He is also an avid reader and a very smart kid so....

I also have had my fair share of non-talking kids (mostly boys) at the age of 2 so I wouldn't be making any assumptions at such a young age.

Sometimes, just because they don't, doesn't mean they can't.....kwim?

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I do not mention anything unless it is a severe delay, something incredibly alarming. Otherwise, its up to them to pursue stuff like that on their own. 99% of parents are going to take what you did as a slam on their parenting. I don't print out articles and mention anything like that unless I am asked first and do not continue the convo if it is clear they are not open to the discussion.

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I agree with NannyDe ~ I have the same situation a few months ago. Mom was really offended when I even suggested a problem with dd. Mom and I are just now getting back to a good working relationship.

Sometimes we just have to step back and remind ourselves that they are not our kids as much as we want the best for them.

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