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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Refusing To Clean Up
sahm2three 12:20 PM 01-05-2012
Why is it that they can go from being a star cleaner to refusing to clean up at all. We have a 3 year old that just flat refuses to clean up, ends up getting put in time out and doesn't have to clean up then. We have tried having all the other kids go color and leaving the entire mess for him to do, we have tried not allowing him to play in the play area with all the other kids, just giving him one or two toys to play with and that is it. He will still refuse to pick up those one or two toys! I just don't know what to do? We have tried to make it fun, giving stickers to the best cleaner upper, giving each a certain kind of toys (cars, guys, dressup, etc). Any advice?
mismatchedsocks 12:32 PM 01-05-2012
I have had a couple stubborn kids. I usually work with them one on one to get past this. I use a big bin of legos...we "play" together for a bit then its time to clean up. I start and tell him to. if he does not chip in, then i take his hand, move to lego, then help him grasp it, then move to lego bin. I do this a few times, making sure the child understands what is asked of him. Then leave him to finish picking up the rest. Usually that works. If not, he will work on that for rest of day, besides nap and eating times. 
I wont play into the stubborn-ness like this. I think the 3 year old KNOWS he needs to clean up, but figures it will get done ( probably doesnt have to do anythign at home!)
I have left legos overnight one night ready for him in morning. This was last day of this.
I wont play into the stubborn-ness like this. I think the 3 year old KNOWS he needs to clean up, but figures it will get done ( probably doesnt have to do anythign at home!)
I have left legos overnight one night ready for him in morning. This was last day of this.
sahm2three 12:38 PM 01-05-2012
Originally Posted by lilrugrats:
I have had a couple stubborn kids. I usually work with them one on one to get past this. I use a big bin of legos...we "play" together for a bit then its time to clean up. I start and tell him to. if he does not chip in, then i take his hand, move to lego, then help him grasp it, then move to lego bin. I do this a few times, making sure the child understands what is asked of him. Then leave him to finish picking up the rest. Usually that works. If not, he will work on that for rest of day, besides nap and eating times.
I wont play into the stubborn-ness like this. I think the 3 year old KNOWS he needs to clean up, but figures it will get done ( probably doesnt have to do anythign at home!)
I have left legos overnight one night ready for him in morning. This was last day of this.
I do that assisted cleaning technique with the younger kids, but won't do it with a 3 year old. He KNOWS how to clean up! He has won many a sticker for his cleaning up efforts. Do I seperate an area away from the regular play area and only put a couple toys in it with a basket and see if him being seperated from the other kids helps? So he can see the group but not get to actually play with them?I have had a couple stubborn kids. I usually work with them one on one to get past this. I use a big bin of legos...we "play" together for a bit then its time to clean up. I start and tell him to. if he does not chip in, then i take his hand, move to lego, then help him grasp it, then move to lego bin. I do this a few times, making sure the child understands what is asked of him. Then leave him to finish picking up the rest. Usually that works. If not, he will work on that for rest of day, besides nap and eating times.
I wont play into the stubborn-ness like this. I think the 3 year old KNOWS he needs to clean up, but figures it will get done ( probably doesnt have to do anythign at home!)
I have left legos overnight one night ready for him in morning. This was last day of this.
Heidi 07:18 PM 01-05-2012
My 3yo dcg is the same way. I have done the "assisted" thing, which doesn't feel pretty with a 3yo, but she has learned she can't play me. She will also hide toys vs. cleaning them. Once I caught on, I kept an eye on that...
So, now, on those few days she forgets her manners, I leave her a few toys, and she can come to the table for meals, or move on to the next activity, when she has done her share. Then, I go back to make sure she put them where they belong vs. under a table, into a cabinet, or some other more wierd place. Once she has done her share, she gets to join the group! Yay G!
So, now, on those few days she forgets her manners, I leave her a few toys, and she can come to the table for meals, or move on to the next activity, when she has done her share. Then, I go back to make sure she put them where they belong vs. under a table, into a cabinet, or some other more wierd place. Once she has done her share, she gets to join the group! Yay G!
Preschool/daycare teacher 07:21 PM 01-05-2012
I really wish I could help, but we have a couple like that. used to be the best at doing as asked, following routine, etc. Now one in particular (almost 4 yr old)has become stubborn and if she knows she's supposed to, she won't. She was my last one to leave today and she wanted to play play-doh. She gets it out and plays with it, but pretty soon she wonders off to play something else, leaving play-doh out on the table. I reminded her she needed to clean up before playing something else. She couldn't. Was too tired, didn't want to, etc. I kept telling her, she kept refusing. Told her she could choose to clean up now, or after I ran the vaccum. BUT if she waited she wouldn't get to play with her friends when they play play-doh next time. "What do you choose?" She said, "Umm, time out?" Told her time out wasn't an option. She eventually did clean up, but only after I wouldn't allow her to play anything else until it was picked up. When there's several children, it's pretty hard to keep onto one like that. By that time, the others would have had all the other toys drug out all over again because they got tired of waiting. And we all know if the child's refusal is ignored, they just go on about their day never giving it another thought, and in the end, get by without having to. How many children are in your group on a typical day? Do all of the others clean up when it's time, without problem? What is your clean up routine (announce it ahead of time, then again when its time?, Sing a song while they clean up?, Get down and start helping them, etc)?
I've been wondering if it has something to do with being 3 yrs old. All of our 3 yr olds have been behaving not-so-pleasantly lol.
I've been wondering if it has something to do with being 3 yrs old. All of our 3 yr olds have been behaving not-so-pleasantly lol.
MissAnn 03:50 AM 01-06-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
Why is it that they can go from being a star cleaner to refusing to clean up at all. We have a 3 year old that just flat refuses to clean up, ends up getting put in time out and doesn't have to clean up then. We have tried having all the other kids go color and leaving the entire mess for him to do, we have tried not allowing him to play in the play area with all the other kids, just giving him one or two toys to play with and that is it. He will still refuse to pick up those one or two toys! I just don't know what to do? We have tried to make it fun, giving stickers to the best cleaner upper, giving each a certain kind of toys (cars, guys, dressup, etc). Any advice?
I have a small white board. I write down each child's name and give them a "job" when we clean up. Johnny and Susie: Blocks Sammy and Mary: People and dollhouses......that sort of thing. When they finish their job....they are done and are free to go into the living room and choose an activity to work. I also make sure to praise the good cleaner-uppers....I say....YOU ARE GOING TO TOWN!!!!! I also keep a watchful eye for dumpers......dumpers have to clean up what was dumped....immediately!Why is it that they can go from being a star cleaner to refusing to clean up at all. We have a 3 year old that just flat refuses to clean up, ends up getting put in time out and doesn't have to clean up then. We have tried having all the other kids go color and leaving the entire mess for him to do, we have tried not allowing him to play in the play area with all the other kids, just giving him one or two toys to play with and that is it. He will still refuse to pick up those one or two toys! I just don't know what to do? We have tried to make it fun, giving stickers to the best cleaner upper, giving each a certain kind of toys (cars, guys, dressup, etc). Any advice?
melskids 03:57 AM 01-06-2012
I have one VERY stubborn 3 1/2 year old.
Who ever coined the term "terrible two's" was wrong. It's definetely threes, without a doubt.
I took a hard hat (a real one i got from a DC dad) and hotglued some legos and other small toys on it. My stubborn 3 1/2 yr old..who happens to be the oldest right now in the group...gets to wear it and be the forman of our "clean up crew". The only catch is, he has to teach the other kids how to clean up and show them where everything goes.
He only refused once, and when I gave the hard hat to the next in line, he didn't like that very much, and decided to never give me a hard time again.
Who ever coined the term "terrible two's" was wrong. It's definetely threes, without a doubt.
I took a hard hat (a real one i got from a DC dad) and hotglued some legos and other small toys on it. My stubborn 3 1/2 yr old..who happens to be the oldest right now in the group...gets to wear it and be the forman of our "clean up crew". The only catch is, he has to teach the other kids how to clean up and show them where everything goes.
He only refused once, and when I gave the hard hat to the next in line, he didn't like that very much, and decided to never give me a hard time again.
Kaddidle Care 04:50 AM 01-06-2012
Originally Posted by melskids:
Who ever coined the term "terrible two's" was wrong. It's definetely threes, without a doubt.
Oh yeah - bigtime! I've always said that 3's are worse than 2's. Who ever coined the term "terrible two's" was wrong. It's definetely threes, without a doubt.
I like the hardhat idea but all of the kids in our group would want to wear it.
We get the "but I didn't play with that" thing a lot but I just tell them "Everyone pitch in - the quicker we clean up, the quicker we ... fill in the blank - have snack, clean up, have lunch... etc." I also remind them if they persist that I clean up after them all every day and I didn't make the mess either.
If they go off and still refuse, they don't get to play with that favorite item the next time and they are reminded about pitching in.
countrymom 06:07 AM 01-06-2012
I too had a star cleaner and now she doesn't want to clean, I too need to fix it. I have a 3.5yr old that the minute he comes to my house will keep taking toys out and leaving them. I try to keep on him but the minute I turn my back he will take out more toys, its so annoying because I'm finding that all the kids are cleaning up his mess. yesterday he stood there crying because he hurt his finger and refused to clean up.