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Old 03-19-2013, 09:32 AM
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Default Those Of You Feeling Guilty Every Time You Have To Inform Parents You Need To Take

For those of you feeling guilty every time you have to inform parents you need to take a day off… don’t feel guilty!!! I will not even tired you all with my very big list of things I missed out these last 5 years because of the daycare parents very urgent need of my services!!! I remember every comment and “what we going to do??!!” expression of the parents’ faces the few times I went ahead and with lots of guilt took the day off anyway..! …And now that I’m closing and gave 4 weeks notice for these “poor” parents to be able to find a daycare, I find out that only 1 of the 6 families really needed a daycare after all and that all the other 5 kids are going to their grandparents houses or staying home with mom or dad!!!!!!! Almost 3 weeks went by since I gave the notice, and every single kid is still in “urgent need” of my services and coming to daycare every single day!!
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Old 03-19-2013, 09:35 AM
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wow..what an eye opener.. some of us really do feel bad when we cant be there for the parents but my dh says the same thing.THEY WILL FIND A WAY
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Old 03-19-2013, 09:36 AM
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I am guilty of that, I feel horrible when asking for days I need. Sometimes I feel super tired, the kids a wearing me down and i feel the need to add a day to my weekend to make it longer and rest, and then I feel is not fare to the parents, and days after I get to know one way or the other that they have tons of PTO and are just saving them for when they really need it, well really need it should include staying home with kid when DC is closed. I know this, and still feel bad taking days off.
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Old 03-19-2013, 09:48 AM
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So dig this...we have always been closed on Good Friday, all families knew it was the one time every year we went to church with my husbands mother. She died in 2012. I had a mom ask me "are you still closing that day?!? Even though she died?!? Oh. Well ok". Really? Really.
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Old 03-19-2013, 09:52 AM
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
So dig this...we have always been closed on Good Friday, all families knew it was the one time every year we went to church with my husbands mother. She died in 2012. I had a mom ask me "are you still closing that day?!? Even though she died?!? Oh. Well ok". Really? Really.
wow.....that's all I can say is wow. And sorry
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by allsmiles View Post
wow..what an eye opener.. some of us really do feel bad when we cant be there for the parents but my dh says the same thing.THEY WILL FIND A WAY
I used to feel bad when I closed for holidays/vacation. Now, when a parent gives me a hard time I look at them sympathetically and say, "Balancing parenthood and work is really tough, I understand! " and then I go on my merry little way.
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
So dig this...we have always been closed on Good Friday, all families knew it was the one time every year we went to church with my husbands mother. She died in 2012. I had a mom ask me "are you still closing that day?!? Even though she died?!? Oh. Well ok". Really? Really.
Wow!! Sorry for your lost... That date is going to be specially painful for your family this year... and having a parent making such a comment is very rude!!!
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
I used to feel bad when I closed for holidays/vacation. Now, when a parent gives me a hard time I look at them sympathetically and say, "Balancing parenthood and work is really tough, I understand! " and then I go on my merry little way.
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:14 AM
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Originally Posted by jokalima View Post
I am guilty of that, I feel horrible when asking for days I need. Sometimes I feel super tired, the kids a wearing me down and i feel the need to add a day to my weekend to make it longer and rest, and then I feel is not fare to the parents, and days after I get to know one way or the other that they have tons of PTO and are just saving them for when they really need it, well really need it should include staying home with kid when DC is closed. I know this, and still feel bad taking days off.
Go ahead, get a calendar and schedule some long weekends right now
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by allsmiles View Post
wow..what an eye opener.. some of us really do feel bad when we cant be there for the parents but my dh says the same thing.THEY WILL FIND A WAY
I wish I knew this sooner!! Why we only find out the important stuff when is too late to do something about it!!!????
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:30 AM
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I don't ever feel bad. AT ALL. I know none of my parents feel bad when they need to call into work, so why should I? If a parent ever gave me a hard time about taking time off I'd probably term - it is no parent's place to question me like that. If I need a day, I need a day - end of story. Almost all of my parents have always been supportive when I need time off - at leats to my face
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Old 03-19-2013, 11:06 AM
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My godmother died, and I needed the day off to go to her funeral service, and luncheon. We were close, as she came to my children's b-day celebrations, spent holidays with each other, baptisms, etc. When I needed to close, I got grief from one of the parents - totally lost respect for this parent. She really gave me a hard time, I was in tears...

A year later, that same DCM's father was sick and she needed help often after hours to travel far away to visit her Dad (He had cancer and it was a slow process). I felt for her & I helped when I could as this went on for months, but I did not go above and beyond (cancel my plans that I had for months), she tried to make me feel guilty for that too. Not having a big support system in her corner.

It still to this day bothers me. I know people can get caught off guard, and come to rely on the consistency of their day care - but when they have no issues taking vacations to Disney, and Aruba -- for 2 weeks each a year and complain they can't take 1 day off to watch their OWN child while I attend a funeral service, then ask me to cancel long standing plans because of their 'emergency'... Not good!

I am learning not to feel guilty anymore. I made this business to be closer to my family and to better meet my families needs. I built this business and do not want it tarnished by being careless (taking off with little or no notice often), I try to be flexible without being walked on. It's a tough balance, however I'm not going to EVER feel guilty for taking a day off to attend a loved ones funeral. If they want to be nasty, I'll have a term letter ready next time. Thanks in part to the ladies on this forum
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Old 03-19-2013, 11:26 AM
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I also don't like to take days off since I get the questions and I do feel the guilt - BUT, I have to learn to let this go! It's funny how these same parents that don't want us to take a day can take off an afternoon to get nails done or an oil change or take a day off to go shopping with friends etc.! If they can afford it for themselves, they can surely do it for me...they don't even have to pay me!
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