Daycare.com Forum Kidacare by Minute Menu Force of Nature Disinfectant

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-23-2013, 02:00 PM
hope's Avatar
hope hope is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,520
Default Hands In Mouth

I have a DCM that I have had many issues with in the past. All the issues dealt Ltwst and boundaries. We have discussed each issue and she finally appologized for her behavior. She said she has post partum and it has been so bad that she started seeing a therapist. Her child is almost two. This has made things a lot better for us. When an issue arises I ask her to discuss it with her therapist and she will usually come back with an open mind.
Today:..........today DCm walks in at pick up and I tell her DCG had an off day. DCM immediately becomes dramatic and the interrogation begins. I said she was restless during nap and she did not sleep the whole time as usual. DCM asks why I would leave her if she wasn't sleeping, how would I know if she was sleepy, how did I know for sure when she woke up. I told her the child's eyes were closed but she was tossing n turning a lot so I kept checking in every few minutes. Once she sat up I picked her up. I then said that DCG was a little cranky probably bc she didn't get a full nap. DCM asks for N example. I told her how DCG was putting all ten fingers in her mouth and would try to get my attention while I was reading to the group. I would tell her hands out of your mouth and eventually just started shaking my head no bc I wanted her to focus on the positive attention I was giving her during reading and not the negative. This threw DCM into tears????????
DCM said I was being mean. She asked why I wouldn't allow her to put her hands in her mouth. She said DCG was teething. I explained the situation again and said that she was not feeling for her tooth that is coming in. She said it doesn't matter and I should allow her to put her hands in her mouth. I was in shock. Didn't understand. She then picked up her child and said to me "I'm sorry if xxxx is so horrible for you" and left.
This isn't the first time she has over reacted and flipped out. I do feel bad that she is battling post partum but it is very difficult to deL with these crazy mood swings. I have had some very real issues happen in my life, death, illness, but I never take it out on other people. I don't think I should let her slide this time. I dread pu n drop off with her. Am I being unreasonable? Should I allow an almost two year old to start putting her hands in her mouth all the time?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-23-2013, 02:04 PM
grandmom's Avatar
grandmom grandmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 735
Default

The dcg needs a safe place to be.

The mom can't handle anything right now.

Just revert to: she had a great day, thanks for asking.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-23-2013, 06:16 PM
EntropyControlSpecialist's Avatar
EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
Embracing the chaos.
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: A toasty environment!
Posts: 7,430
Default

I would absolutely not allow a 2-year-old to be putting their hands in their mouth without me attempting to intervene. It is unsanitary. You are not mean.

I would keep the "BAD" news to a minimum with crazy pants. Unless the child becomes violent or has extreme behavior changes, I'd just smile and tell them to have a nice night.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-24-2013, 05:35 AM
hope's Avatar
hope hope is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,520
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
I would absolutely not allow a 2-year-old to be putting their hands in their mouth without me attempting to intervene. It is unsanitary. You are not mean.

I would keep the "BAD" news to a minimum with crazy pants. Unless the child becomes violent or has extreme behavior changes, I'd just smile and tell them to have a nice night.
Lesson learned I guess. I will no longer tell her anything. This morning at drop off she continued her stance on why DCG needs to put her hands in her mouth. She then asked if maybe DCG is sleeping too much and she is concerned over DCG's crankiness yesterday. I told her we all have our days where we need more sleep and we all have our off days too. Didn't help, DCM thinks it is the end of the world.
Normally I would never allow an outburst from a DCP like what DCM pulled yesterday. I keep giving her another chance due to her post partum. I think I will term if she throws another fit. My peace is too valuable.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-24-2013, 05:50 AM
TheGoodLife's Avatar
TheGoodLife TheGoodLife is offline
Home Daycare Provider
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,368
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hope View Post
Lesson learned I guess. I will no longer tell her anything.

Normally I would never allow an outburst from a DCP like what DCM pulled yesterday. I keep giving her another chance due to her post partum. I think I will term if she throws another fit. My peace is too valuable.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-24-2013, 06:37 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,937
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hope View Post
Lesson learned I guess. I will no longer tell her anything. This morning at drop off she continued her stance on why DCG needs to put her hands in her mouth. She then asked if maybe DCG is sleeping too much and she is concerned over DCG's crankiness yesterday. I told her we all have our days where we need more sleep and we all have our off days too. Didn't help, DCM thinks it is the end of the world.

Normally I would never allow an outburst from a DCP like what DCM pulled yesterday. I keep giving her another chance due to her post partum. I think I will term if she throws another fit. My peace is too valuable.
That just might bite you in the butt. It's a great sentiment and a nice thing to do but like any other parental situation, if you give her any leaway because of her having PP, you aren't really helping her.

She should be experiencing the world "as is" and when things get too complicated or heavy for her, she needs to talk with her therapist about ways to manage her emotions. If you handle her with kid-gloves, I don't think it helps.

I had a DCM who had PP too and I tried to be understanding and patient and pretty soon my understanding and patience weren't enough and she soon expected to always get "special" and if she felt she wasn't or things weren't going her way, she would throw out the post partum issue again.

Sometimes I think it's better if we don't know these things. Yes, it helps us be more empathetic but being understanding and empathetic towards her situation still doesn't mean she has permission to act badly towards you and say what she did.

Her behavior is still inexcusable regardless of her mental or emotional condition...kwim?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-24-2013, 07:25 AM
hope's Avatar
hope hope is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,520
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
That just might bite you in the butt. It's a great sentiment and a nice thing to do but like any other parental situation, if you give her any leaway because of her having PP, you aren't really helping her.

She should be experiencing the world "as is" and when things get too complicated or heavy for her, she needs to talk with her therapist about ways to manage her emotions. If you handle her with kid-gloves, I don't think it helps.

I had a DCM who had PP too and I tried to be understanding and patient and pretty soon my understanding and patience weren't enough and she soon expected to always get "special" and if she felt she wasn't or things weren't going her way, she would throw out the post partum issue again.

Sometimes I think it's better if we don't know these things. Yes, it helps us be more empathetic but being understanding and empathetic towards her situation still doesn't mean she has permission to act badly towards you and say what she did.

Her behavior is still inexcusable regardless of her mental or emotional condition...kwim?
I get what you mean. I wanted to term her months ago for the things she said and did. I felt bad for her situation with PP and gave in when I probably shouldn't. Her attitude drains me daily.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-24-2013, 07:57 AM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

from the sounds of it, you and I share the same DCM.... I have one that always behaves this way. Just the other day she slammed my front door because my Asst told her kids to behave.

Like BC said, having PP is not a disability. I can't stand it when people try to pity me.

I have learned to say, these are my services, if they don't work for you, please consider looking for alternative care for your children.

I have been put through the ringer and back always trying to be the bigger person, the people pleaser, the one to keep everyone happy. Well that is not my job.

I am so sorry you have had to deal with a parent like this. I know what it feels like and it consumes you to no end.....
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
hands in mouth

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hand foot and mouth CrackerJacks Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 3 05-04-2013 07:33 AM
4 Year Old With Hands Constantly In Mouth!!! lilcupcakes09 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 3 04-16-2013 11:18 AM
Hands In Mouth...Yuk! hope Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 8 02-15-2013 08:59 PM
My Hands Are Cracking busymomof2 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 6 12-03-2010 07:13 AM
Hand Foot and Mouth (sorry....long) Blackcat31 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 15 10-29-2010 06:36 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:09 AM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming