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Old 03-12-2019, 08:56 AM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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Default "Bad" Words

Have you ever felt accused of saying bad words around the daycare kids? DCM came in today saying that her child was pretending to feed her toy dog when she suddenly yelled “no bad dog” and threw the stuffy. She told me they do not use that word at home and wondered where she might have seen or heard that. I was a bit stunned because I don’t act that way at all and for her to think I do is a bit unsettling. She most likely got it from another more agressive child I have in care and I said “she might have overheard another child say it” as I had no idea what else to say.

To top it all off this child, who is 19 months has very limited vocabulary when here 50 hours a week but seems to talk in complete sentences at home. I was a bit shocked that she even said “no bad dog” because it seems much too advanced.

Any thoughts? How do you handle this? My first instinct is to just ignore but I am feeling uneasy.
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Old 03-12-2019, 09:05 AM
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I would just roll your eyes at the parent as they walked out the door. Kids hear things from tv, from other adults, and even other children. Saying no, bad dog isn’t even a bad thing to say. She’s learning and trying to figure out the world around her. If anything, mom could have simply replied “we don’t throw our toys and we talk nicely to our animals and friends” end of story.

I hate when parents do that crap. I had a mom question me last year on why her daughter knew the word wee wee and blamed it on one of my non verbal kids. Like um idk maybe because she’s 3 and also goes to preschool ����*♀️
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Old 03-12-2019, 09:18 AM
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I had a parent like this and ended up terming over it. It ended up being a daily thing that her daughter said or did something disturbing at home and wondered if I knew where she would have seen or heard those things. To me it seemed like she was covering in case I saw her child do those things here and it really bothered me. Bringing something up like that once is just an eye roll from me, but bringing up things like that continually becomes an issue for me.
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Old 03-12-2019, 09:39 AM
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Yes, I've had that happen.

Dcm said her 2 year old said "heck" and "shush" and followed up with the "I wonder where he learned that from" comment. She asked if anyone here says that. I would just say "not that I'm aware of".

Another dcm would tell me her child would say "no (insert dck name), bad (insert dck name)" at home. She said "He must hear that alot here!"

Isn't is crazy that anytime a child says something, does something or gets sick, it's ALWAYS because of daycare?

Unless they learned a new color, shape, letter, etc., then it's because the parents taught them
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Old 03-12-2019, 11:00 AM
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It is definitely frustrating to feel like you are being accused of something so dumb!
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Old 03-12-2019, 11:09 AM
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Has her kid watched Clifford the Big Red Dog? I have heard that many times there back in the day. My DD loved that show in elementary school.

"Emily Elizabeth: Here, Clifford! Here, boy!

Emily Elizabeth: AAAH!

Emily Elizabeth: No, Clifford, no!

Emily Elizabeth: Bad dog, Clifford! Bad dog!"
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Old 03-12-2019, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
Has her kid watched Clifford the Big Red Dog? I have heard that many times there back in the day. My DD loved that show in elementary school.

"Emily Elizabeth: Here, Clifford! Here, boy!

Emily Elizabeth: AAAH!

Emily Elizabeth: No, Clifford, no!

Emily Elizabeth: Bad dog, Clifford! Bad dog!"
So true! Her kid watches tv 24/7 at home and her favourite movie is “Moana” which is totally innappropriate for a 19 month old! I hadn’t even thought of that!!
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Old 03-12-2019, 04:28 PM
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It's amazing how a child can barely say one word at daycare but can talk in full paragraphs with proper punctuation at home.
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:35 AM
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Yes and I usually just say "I blame Disney".
It's true!
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Old 03-16-2019, 11:02 AM
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Ohhhhhh, boy did I one time!!!! After 4 years in child care, I had my first group of older kids so we started encountering tattling. The older 2 were REALLY lording it over the younger 2 once they realized they had some power, so I had to figure out how to handle it. I did some research here and elsewhere and learned that most teachers, etc will tell the kids that they only need to know if something is causing harm to someone. So, I started telling them "I don't need to know unless you or someone else is being hurt." Worked like a charm.. a week later, DCM is picking up. Somehow the topic came up and I jokingly made a comment about how I "nipped tattling in the bud" with the bigger kids. (I never used the word tattling or tattletale with the kids, just said it to DCM as a simplified way of explaining the situation.)

A day or so later, I get a long email that something has been weighing heavily on DCM's mind since our conversation. She went on to tell me that it concerned her that I was calling her daughter a tattletale and how they don't use the word "tattle" at home. She then went on to explain how discouraging tattling only encouraged a "rape culture" in her daughter's life in the future?!?! Then tried to belittle me by telling me that the newer approach was to encourage kids to feel comfortable to tell their authority figures/ teachers anything I knew that was bull from my own research.

So, I sent her a long email in return detailing what I did, how I did it, how i came to the decisions I did, why I do the things I do (in order to discourage children from bullying other children by constantly 'reporting' every move they made to me AND so that I knew when something was serious and that I needed to react quickly and when they were just trying to get the baby in trouble for having the square block instead of the circle block.. lol). In addition, I told her that I used the word "tattle" with her in order to simplify the conversation but that I never called children names.

The whole thing was insane, the funniest part is- this was 3 YEARS in to me providing care for her daughter! I started with her when I was brand new and didn't know that any mention of the word "nanny" in an interview is an immediate red flag. (She said, "We wanted to hire a nanny but they're way too expensive.") Nothing was ever said again about that. There were further issues, but thankfully she headed to Kindergarten the next year. I just view those moments as teaching moments because I will NEVER FORGET why I don't do this or that in the future after living with a mistake like that. I do have a backbone now, but I try to prevent things as much as possible.
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Old 03-16-2019, 05:51 PM
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Knoxmomof2 that is brutal! I also find it is like a passive agressive way to say “I am so much better than you and here is why”. Unreal.

If you want to raise your child YOUR way than stay home and raise her, don’t send her to me and then blame me for teaching “rape culture” because I am not perfect. Give me a break
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