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  #1  
Old 03-30-2011, 08:09 PM
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Default Awkward Comments Made By DCD

I have a bit of a dilemma, the main reason I sourced out this forum!
One of my DCK's is such a sweet pea, so easy, I couldn't ask for a better child. I also, really like her Mum. So here is where it get's tricky her Dad has made inappropriate comments directed at me. I wouldn't say straight out hitting on me, but darn near close. He will say things like, "wow you look amazing," or "I wish my wife smelled as great as you." And trust me I am not doing ANYTHING special. I start to get very uncomfortable whenever he does pick up and drop offs. I try and make sure my hubby is around when he does drop off.
Should I say something??? Or should I let this girl go??? I have never been in a situation like this.
Any advice is appreciated.

Last edited by Michael; 03-31-2011 at 01:53 PM.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:15 PM
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I would just ignor it. If you can't ignor it then maybe you just need to tell DCD that you appreciate his comments, but lets just keep it about the kids.

I had a DCD that would come in and start talking politics. He even poked at my race once. I told him "I know you wanna make small talk, just make sure it's about the kids"

He stopped.
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:32 AM
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i wouldn't ignore it. for someone crazy enough to say these things when he's married and knows you have a husband - saying nothing gives him the "go ahead" to continue with his comments. i assume since you said you make sure your husband is there that you've told your husband about the situation? i'm pretty sure i'd be bailing my husband out of jail if this was happening in "his house" to beat it all. YOU need to tell him the next time he makes any sort of comment that it is inappropriate and that he needs to stop.
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Old 03-31-2011, 03:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
I have a bit of a dilemma, the main reason I source d out this forum!
One of my DCK's is such a sweet pea, so easy, I couldn't ask for a better child. I also, really like her Mum. So here is where it get's tricky her Dad has made inappropriat
e comments directed at me. I wouldn't say straight out hitting on me, but darn near close. He will say things like, "wow you look amazing," or "I wish my wife smelled as great as you." And trust me I am not doing ANYTHING special. I start to get very uncomfortable whenever he does pick up and drop offs. I try and make sure my hubby is around when he does drop off.
Should I say something??? Or should I let this girl go??? I have never been in a situation like this.
Any advice is appreciated.
"I keep telling my husband that you tell me how nice I look and how good I smell. He thinks you are hitting on me. I told him nah.... he's married".
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:15 AM
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Ewwww what a creeper!
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  #6  
Old 03-31-2011, 04:23 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
"I keep telling my husband that you tell me how nice I look and how good I smell. He thinks you are hitting on me. I told him nah.... he's married".
if i was a man and a lady told me that - i'd be thinking, "man, her husband must be a puss." seriously, a temper is nothing to be proud of, but no way in hell would my husband be able to control his in a situation like that.
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:35 AM
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What does your husband say about this?

It does sound a bit beyond flattery. It's one thing if he asked where you bought a certain top or perfume because he was interested in buying it for his wife.

In the corporate world he'd be walking on thin ice as far as sexual harrassment goes. He'd better watch it.
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:40 AM
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I have had this happen a few times, I think it comes with the territory.

I typically just shot 'em down with a "Rooster" block.

"You look wonderful" = "You know you are not getting a discount, right?"

"I wish my wife smelled as good as you." = "Well, Macys has a sale on scents this week you can run down there on your way home. I know she would love it since she has mentioned it a few times as well. She deserves it, you know."

"You sure are looking toned these days" ( yes, really) = ", yeah, a couple bad burritos will do that for anyone. I am still pushing fluids like crazy!!" (THAT image works better than a photo of his grandma in the shower )

"You have such beautiful eyes" = "Has that REALLY ever worked for anyone? So how late are you planning to be?"

You get the picture....
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  #9  
Old 03-31-2011, 05:20 AM
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Thanks ladies,
My husband is pretty upset by it - but I keep telling him we have to handle this the right way, after all this is my business and it is embarrassing enough this Dad feels he has the right to make comments like this!
I have done the sarcasm route...he just doesn't get it and thinks I am flirting back or welcoming his advances. Today at drop off it was him he kept staring at my chest while saying. "You know, looking at you is a great start to the day!"All while grinning his sleezy grin Oh man too far. I told him that well I appreciate the comments- yours have gone too far. I want to keep this a business relationship, so if you feel the need for small talk let's keep it about your child."
Further more, "if these types of comments continue I will have to bring it up in a family meeting with your wife..and ask you to leave the centre."I hope this wasn't too harsh- now I am worried I came out too strong, I had little sleep and was just not in the mood to deal with this fool
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:35 AM
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way to go keep us updated.
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  #11  
Old 03-31-2011, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
Thanks ladies,
My husband is pretty upset by it - but I keep telling him we have to handle this the right way, after all this is my business and it is embarrassing enough this Dad feels he has the right to make comments like this!
I have done the sarcasm route...he just doesn't get it and thinks I am flirting back or welcoming his advances. Today at drop off it was him he kept staring at my chest while saying. "You know, looking at you is a great start to the day!"All while grinning his sleezy grin Oh man too far. I told him that well I appreciate the comments- yours have gone too far. I want to keep this a business relationship, so if you feel the need for small talk let's keep it about your child."
Further more, "if these types of comments continue I will have to bring it up in a family meeting with your wife..and ask you to leave the centre."I hope this wasn't too harsh- now I am worried I came out too strong, I had little sleep and was just not in the mood to deal with this fool
What a creepy sleazeball!!

That family would be GONE that day on the grounds of inappropriate behavior by the parent!!

I think you handled it well. Even if you did come off strong, you needed to in order to make it absolutely CRYSTAL clear where you stand and that you will not tolerate it. Even if you lose the family, you did the right thing.
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Old 03-31-2011, 06:14 AM
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One simple statement from you to the DCD "Comments like those are inappropriate and make me very uncomfortable. Stop saying such things or you will not be permitted back in my home."
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Old 03-31-2011, 01:55 PM
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I would simply tell him how your husband always tells you how great you are. Start praising your husband. He'll get the message. Guys don't like competition. He's obviously not happy in his relationship and is hoping you are not happy in yours.
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Old 03-31-2011, 02:05 PM
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I think you did a good job telling him that his conversations need to be about the kids and to leave it at that.

I know some of you said to term the family and that is a choice I think that you can make if it is necessary. I personally would give it some time after having said something and if it goes on then think about letting them go. I don't think that I would say anything to the wife about it, as it may start some unwanted drama.

I have delt with a DCD who would poke at my race as well as my husbands like it was NO big deal. After talking to him about it, he stopped. I really really dislike the DCD and I feel awkward around him all the time. But I only have to deal with it for about 5-8 minutes a day and for me it's worth it. I know that I am not going to like every person and as long as they are following my rules and being respectful, their kids are great, and pay on time, I just suck it up.

But trust me, the second that this family does not pay me or breaks my rules, I will let go.

How about you just stop being so darn sexy....it's all your fault you are good looking....lol jk
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Old 03-31-2011, 03:40 PM
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So DCD came today to pick up his daughter, and asked if I was in a better mood!!! I said, I have been in a great mood all day, you just need to understand your comments are inappropriate and not permitted nor appreciated by myself or my hubby. He finally apologized...and went onto explain that is his personality, that he is a very flirty guy and he has to stop as it gets him into hot water from time to time . I wenT on to say his daughter had a great day and cut the convo short by handing him his April newsletter and Calendar.
I also wrote in the newsletter for the parents to read the parent handbook and to remember that respect, trust, honesty, and open communication must be followed by all parties in a professional manner!
Fingers crossed this put an end to this issue

Last edited by Michael; 03-31-2011 at 04:48 PM.
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Old 03-31-2011, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
I would simply tell him how your husband always tells you how great you are. Start praising your husband. He'll get the message. Guys don't like competition. He's obviously not happy in his relationship and is hoping you are not happy in yours.



sorry Michael, had to.




He's right though, he's hinting around, waiting for the signal from you. don't give him it. Tell him in words you are comfortable using, that you don't appreciate it, and that you will have to let the family go if this continues.
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  #17  
Old 03-31-2011, 04:08 PM
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I would say my husband likes this scent too. I agree he is fishing. You are one smart fish not taking this bait.
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:56 PM
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good job! Some guys think they are so smooth taking advantage of someone who is forced to be in their presence.
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  #19  
Old 03-31-2011, 05:06 PM
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I recently terminated a family because of the dad and his "problems" with being too familiar...not in a flirty way but just ALWAYS trying to insinuate himself into our lives as if he was part of our family...too many personal questions, too much chatter about him and his life, too much chatter about ME and my life, always trying to make some close , personal connection to us...we just couldn't stand it any more and I finally picked a fight!

I felt stupid doing it but I just had to get rid of him....I couldn't even go to the door anymore and my husband was handling the drop off for me....not a very professional way to act so I decided before I ended up in a pyschiatric hospital, it was time!

I'm a lot older than a lot of you on here so I haven't actually ever had the "flirty" dcd problem and I sympathize with you women who do...as someone mentioned, in the corporate world, he could be facing a sexual harrassment suit...not pretty!

I hope he pisses off the crap and leaves you alone...
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:11 PM
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lol......I have a super hotty dad right now. GORGEOUS daddy. I wouldn't mind if he made a few comments lol. JK!

He is super hotty though.
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:29 PM
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lol......I have a super hotty dad right now. GORGEOUS daddy. I wouldn't mind if he made a few comments lol. JK!

He is super hotty though.
I think we're going to need proof if we are to believe you. HAHA!!! I kid!
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:44 PM
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oh my, I was so tempted to add the pic, thought better of it.


hmmm......trying to think who he looks like celebrity wise..... i'll have to get back to you guys on that.
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:46 PM
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This DCD is pretty good looking but his ego knocks him down- and the way he talks blah.
In my centre where I am on an extended mat leave from, there was a GORGEOUS dad and every time he came to talk to me in my office I went beat RED- at least if I was in a room I could hide with the kiddies
Anyway,
Thank You so much for all your support and advice, you gave me the confidence I needed to make a stand!
It is refreshing to find a place that allows one to vent and get some positive feedback
Cheers
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Old 03-31-2011, 07:33 PM
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I had a parent that was like that too. After the second time, I told him to knock it off and I told his wife that I didn't appreciate what he was doing/saying. She dismissed it saying it was just his personality and not to be offended.

A few weeks went by and no issues. Then, one day I was taking care of a teething infant and my assistant let him and the children in. He went as far as telling her he would pay her "X" dollars per hour if she would just quit working for me and be his families personal nanny! My assistant was very uncomfortable and said that no matter the money, she was dedicated to me and that he couldn't afford her! LOL That afternoon, they got their term papers. BUH BYE!
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Old 03-31-2011, 08:29 PM
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Ugh, thats what I have going on now...A man called Tuesday to set up an appointment to see the center and enroll his son. He starts off with "Hey....this is _____." Thinking he was someone for one of my co-workers and or a wrong number, I keep asking questions and he keeps giving vague asnwers...just as Im about to hang up...he starts to set the appointment...for yesterday at 1.

He shows up today at 10 am...I would NEVER schedule a tour at 10 am because I am knee deep in 3 year olds at this time of day. He calls from the road and requests me by name! My director thought he was my boyfriend!! I begged her to please do the tour for me because honestly he creeped me out over the phone...he called me "boo" and "baby" the whole time. They did the tour and let the son spend a few hours with us to see how he fits...his son is a sweetie.

The dad returns around 2..which is the middle of naptime, to pick up his son. He just appears at my classroom doorway...which was strange, as the downstairs teachers usually let me know when someone's coming up the stairs. The lights are mostly off...he's asking how his son did, "boo' this and "baby" that...He's hanging around, with this sideways grin...I said "Yeah he did great...he'll fit right in! Hope to see you guys soon!" and turned my back.

Im almost hoping he doesnt enroll the son...so I wont have to deal with him. I already have one dcd calling me once or twice a week to check on HIS son...which I dont think is completely altruistic either UGH.

So I know how u feel.
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