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Old 02-17-2011, 10:30 AM
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MG&Lsmom MG&Lsmom is offline
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Default Rude Comments From DCKS

So how do you handle intentionally rude or inappropriate comments by your new talkers?

I know he's young, but this 2yo is really driving me bananas. He speaks very well, though I'm not entirely sure he knows what he's saying. I think he's parroting what dcm and dcd (great role models too ) are saying. Regardless, what he's saying is rude. Mostly it's the screaming of NO WAY at me. Today he combined his screaming at me and throwing baby punches at me. Slapping my hand away as I put on his shoes and coat. I tell him "we doing talk like that, it's not polite, come xyz" or whatever I was trying to get him to do. Since this has continued for all 4 months of care he's been here I'm at a loss. He's only 2-3 full days a week so maybe that's why he's not getting it. I need to talk to mom today, but she's lazy as all get out and it will do no good.
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:49 AM
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My DS who just turned 3, and my dcg who is 2.5, have been occasionally doing this as well. What I've been doing is right after they say something rude or hurtful, I say calmly, "That wasn't nice. How else can you say this?"

For example, my dcg would push someone aside and say, "Move!" very forcefully. I'll go up to her calmly right away and say, "Now _____, that wasn't very nice. How else can you say that?" And she replies with "excuse me". If she is in a calm mood and not in her stubborn streak, I can then get her to go up to the person she was rude to and correct her behavior.

Now this only works if I've been giving them examples of how to communicate properly. It sounds like you've been working with this boy for a while now, so he should have some idea of how to speak nicely to people, even if he is only 2. Try to have him correct his own behavior when he does this. See what happens!
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:56 AM
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I agree with Zoe. You've been working with him for 4 months, and he has no improvement?

The slapping your hand and punching you is violent behavior, and all kids go through a phase of hitting and such, but usually it is not directed toward an adult (maybe just mom or someone they don't consider "authority"

This needs to be dealt with now. Then consequence needs to be enforced. This type of behavior is not acceptable, and will only progress if they get away with it. These kids scare the poop outta me, and if I'm scared of a small child, then it makes me wonder if they will be the kids walking around in middle of the night causing mischief when they are teens. OR worse!

He most likely is parroting, but if you are not who he is parroting, then it's his parents, and the smacking your hand away when tieing his shoes? makes you wonder where that came from.

I think it's a bad situation, and you need to get it straightened out, and tell the parents last straw.
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:08 AM
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ha, I have one better for you. So I posted about the girl who lies, she's 6. I have her in the morning for about 10min a day. (just to let you all know that when I had her here full time last year she did bad things) so anyways, today my kids and her are getting ready for school, so my kids are all ready (expect ds who for some unkown reason is always pokey) and she's standing there with one boot on and playing with her hat. So my girls are saying, hurry up so we don't miss the bus. So I go to her "c don't worry about your hat and put your boots on" she goes to me "fine I won't worry about my hat"
and I just happen to look down and my kids (all 4 of them ) start yelling mom she stuck her tongue out at you. So I go "c did you stick your tongue out at me" she says "no" my kids go "lier" I ripped her up one side and down the other. I know her mom (step mom) is afraid to yell, but not me. Not only do I not tolerate lying but I don't do disrespecting adults or anyone as a matter of fact. Lets just say, I don't think she'll do it again, and if she does this again, well I yell again. Mom and dad don't know what to do, and I told them to stop being nice. Oh, after she got caught lying at school on tues, mom decided not to take her to her activity and didn't let her watch tv but she let her play with the toys in her room and playroom. I told mom that she should have taken the tv and put it outside (ask my kids) and made her sit in her room on her bed and not let her do anything. This girl is rude rude rude---she now has to sit alone on the bus because of her behavior. Sorry I wondered off, but this is a bad girl.
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:24 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MG&Lsmom View Post
So how do you handle intentionally rude or inappropriate comments by your new talkers?

I know he's young, but this 2yo is really driving me bananas. He speaks very well, though I'm not entirely sure he knows what he's saying. I think he's parroting what dcm and dcd (great role models too ) are saying. Regardless, what he's saying is rude. Mostly it's the screaming of NO WAY at me. Today he combined his screaming at me and throwing baby punches at me. Slapping my hand away as I put on his shoes and coat. I tell him "we doing talk like that, it's not polite, come xyz" or whatever I was trying to get him to do. Since this has continued for all 4 months of care he's been here I'm at a loss. He's only 2-3 full days a week so maybe that's why he's not getting it. I need to talk to mom today, but she's lazy as all get out and it will do no good.
I have a zero tolerance policy for any violence. I do not allow ANY hitting, fighting, biteing, or adult disrespect. He would have been termed the FIRST time he raised a hand to me or one of my kids.
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Old 02-17-2011, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I have a zero tolerance policy for any violence. I do not allow ANY hitting, fighting, biteing, or adult disrespect. He would have been termed the FIRST time he raised a hand to me or one of my kids.
I have the same policy. He was yelling no way at me when I told him it was time to go outside. After two times I just picked him up and brought him to the step we sit on to put shoes on and sat him there. I wasn't up for gently guiding him into complying. Does that make sense? I didn't see it as violent per se. But I see what you mean and it came across that way. Typical 2yo tantrum, wiggling and resisting, and slapping your hand away. He has absolutely no rules at home at all. During his days not here he's with his dad, and dck is the boss of him.
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Old 02-17-2011, 01:55 PM
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i have a 2 1/2 yr old dcg who, when she wants something, looks right at me with her hands on her hips and says "i'm NOT going to ask you again." or when i ask her to do something, she'll say "you need to be patient."

i can SOOOO tell how her parents talk to her at home.
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Old 02-18-2011, 06:01 AM
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Originally Posted by melskids View Post
i have a 2 1/2 yr old dcg who, when she wants something, looks right at me with her hands on her hips and says "i'm NOT going to ask you again." or when i ask her to do something, she'll say "you need to be patient."

i can SOOOO tell how her parents talk to her at home.
HAHAHA

My DH gets so mad at me, because my 6 yo daughter has had the same attitude, head shaking and hands crossed across her chest as me

MG&Lsmom...I still think that the slapping your hand away was a violent sign. You also mentioned he's been hitting you as well. This is violence, regardless. I've dealt with many 2 yo's, 3 have been mine, the other thousand 2 yo's have never taken a tantrum out on anyone but another child. I would not take this lightly.

If it never happens again he may have realized he overstepped. But if it happens again, he needs to be dealt with accordlingly. This will progress and it will get worse and worse.
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Old 02-18-2011, 10:00 AM
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Mom and I had a talk last night and as expected she does not understand why her son screaming "no way" at me in response to any request/instruction is so bad. He's only 2 you know . Yes, he is in fact parroting something that Dad and Grandma say to him. They actually encourage the language. No way, yes way, ha ha ha. Mom is not happy with the attitude and defiance she's seeing but "Daddy lets him do it and I'm too tired to argue after working all day." Uh huh. Right. Ok. To that my response was since he's been away for 2 weeks sick that I'll give him a week to get back into our routine, but if he continues to act out I'm not sure I can keep taking him. Today he took off into the parking lot of Babiesrus because he did not want to get into his seat. He also threw his lunch all over the floor because it was not McDonald's and cookies. Strike 2. I'm documenting all his behaviors so I can have a nice term letter ready for the end of the week I gave her yesterday.
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