I have a little boy in my daycare who turned 2 in July, so pretty young, No I know little kids do alot of self exploration, And thats all good.....But I got pretty disturbed yesterday by this little boy, As I heard him say "anna touch my penis" I thought he was telling me julianna was touching his penis, But when I looked, He had his penis pulled out, In his hand and he was backing her against a wall telling a 15 month old to touch his penis, Over and over, I told him to stop and thats a big no, And no one touches his penis but himself. But I can't get over it, he just seems to young for this, But maybe I just dont know, And its completly normal, I just need advice on this, I've become pretty good friends with his mom, since hes been coming here, and we hang out on weekends and stuff, I did tell his dad yesterday when he picked him up, and his dad was just like "lil pervert" and he can be a very mean boy, Hes a biter to be mean. he has a very different personality, but Its bugging me, Today he was laying on top of one of the other little girls, I'm sure harmlessly, And hes always trying to lay on top of the 15 month old little girl......

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Huh...my daughter (20 months) is becoming very aware of her body and when her diaper is off she touches herself or even puts her hand in her diaper and touches herself. She has even been known to grind while in her carseat, which some might regard as abnormal, but it's something that I think is typical.

What do the parents say about it? It must be something they've seen from him before, I would think... What this little boy is doing seems to be beyond typical exploration. Him wanting another child to touch him makes me think that maybe he's just seen a little too much? Like, on tv or with his parents or whoever... I don't know. Curious to see what others think.

He definitely needs to know that it's not okay to ask others to touch him there and it's not okay to touch others there, etc etc. But, this is a conversation that his parents need to be on board with and having with him as well...
Katy

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Did you document and have his dad sign that his child had inappropriate behavior? This might be the start of a LONG stage that might be difficult to deal with. If it's going to affect you daily, I would document it as for grounds for termination if it continues or gets worse. If he does it again...maybe he did today?...I would call him mom and ask if she was informed about the situation from the other day and let her know it happened again. Hopefully it is a phase or just a one-time deal.

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Sorry, just saw what the dad said about it. What a strange reaction he had. I think it might be something that you need to be very direct with the parents about- tell them what you need from them. Tell them that they need to tell him that those are private parts and it's not okay to ask another child to touch them. But I would also tell them to not harp on the topic as paying too much attention to it might make it worse. it's kind of a fine line with some of these things.

If it happens again, I would just reiterate what you said about those parts are private, they need to stay in our pants and then redirect and try to make sure he's getting a lot of attention (positive attention) elsewhere throughout the day, so that he doesn't start doing it for attention.

Like I said earlier, I think it's not really typical behavior, but I also don't necessarily think it's CRAZY-ABNORMAL. I don't know, I feel a little torn.

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Documenting it is a great suggestion, and not even just in case you might terminate, but if the behavior gets more serious or if you're ever concerned that there s sexual abuse going on and you have to report it, then you'd have all the info.

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I really don't think a 2 year-old would know this much on his own. I think maybe he has seen a little too much somewhere. This would definately be disturbing to me also.

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Yes, I agree. You should document everything that goes on with this behavior.

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When we document at the daycare center I'm at, we have to have the parents sign an "incident report" form. It is a pre-printed form with fill in the blanks and description areas to write details. We write which child was involved, what happened, when it happened, what the disciplinary action taken was (took a break <aka time out>, apologized, had to clean up alone, etc) and dated and signed by the witness (provider) and the parent that day.

Most of our incident reports are from biting right now. If two children are involved...like biting--one child does the biting and the other child takes it--they are separate forms and we do not give out the names of the children involved, but just talk to each parent as they come. Unfortunately, most parents know who our "biter" is and the other kids always say ******* did it! LOL

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considering the fathers reaction, and the fact he is a man, (no offense to any men here...lol) for all we know, he couldve been teasing his wife one day to touch him and not realized his child was looking. not that its appropriate, but may be in innocence, kwim? its amazing what children pick up on.

everyday when my hubby comes home he kisses me hello. i had a 3 yr old girl go home and tell her parents and she made it sound like he was gropping me in front of her...lol needless to say, he's not kissing me hello anymore, thats for sure.

not that i'm making light of the situation or anything. i would just document everything and keep a closer eye on the child.

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Thank you for your responses, I do hope that it was just a situation like Daddy joking around with mommy, And hes a smart little boy so he would definatly repeat that. It did just raise red flags, cause he would have to pick up on that from somewhere, Whether it be innocent or god forbid not. [i]t just didnt seem like a something that would be a natural learned behaviour, like self exploration. But I don't know everything, I have two children of my own, and have only been doing daycare for a year now, so I still have much to learn.

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I would definitely document everything. Especially since the little girl (or some other child) could go home and either repeat the behavior or tell someone else about it (and kids could make it out to be even worse than it was - even though it was pretty bad). Then you would have issues with other parents, who could terminate or worse, report YOU for not "protecting" their child from such exposure. I don't know what kind of outcome there would be - probably not much since you can't control everything that someone else does, but I wouldn't want to even have to explain the situation to licensing or CPS. I would also explain to the boy's parents the dangers of having him around other children when he is engaging in this type of behavior and that it needs to be dealt with immediately or you will have to terminate (or whatever action you feel is necessary).

Remember that the behavior of one child DOES affect the behavior and actions of the rest of the group and you do not want this to become an even bigger problem.

However, it is normal for SOME exploration at this age. My daughter also touched herself during diaper changes for awhile around this age, but I think this little boy is going much too far for this to be simple "exploration". I agree that he must have been exposed to this kind of behavior somewhere. Sadly, there are many parents who do not think about what they are exposing their children to. Many parents think that the children are too young to understand, which is true. But they are not too young to emulate what they see or hear. So, maybe the parents just need to be more cautious and save the grown up programs (even the news) for after the little boy is in bed. It stinks, I know. But it's one of those sacrifices that we have to make as parents.

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I am registered on here, but because of what I'm going to say, for safety and privacy reasons, I logged out to write this.
I would definitely document this and date it. As many details as you can remember. And any time any other questionable behavior comes up, write it down too with the date. It may be nothing, but then you never know. I would NOT tell the parents you are documenting it, but do write down their responses to anything you've said about it. If anything ever came of this the parents could accuse you of doing something inappropriate, so with this documentation, you will at least have that on your side.
This does not sound normal at all. This dcb has almost definitely seen it somewhere. There are two dc children in my daycare who do some inappropriate things and have some habits that just didn't seem normal. It ended up that their dad had been sexually molesting them (or at least the preschool age dc child) before the mom divorced him. Now the dad is trying to get custody rights of the two children. The attorney or lawyer or whoever it is that does this kind of thing had to get written statements from the dc owner of what she's witnessed the children doing so they'd have more proof of what the father did and why he shouldn't have any custody or visiting rights of the children. It would have been easier for her if we had documented everything, but we just didn't think about it at the time.

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