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Unregistered 06:54 AM 05-13-2014
I have been told by one parent to not let the other one take the child today....there are apparentlymarital problems that have been being worked on (therapy I think) that is failing. Aunty or grandparents picking up is ok I'm to call the other parent if this one tries to take kid....they will be here as soon as possible....what do I do.Thanks to all input.
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CraftyMom 06:58 AM 05-13-2014
That's a tough one. If there is no court order you really can't refuse to give the child to a legal guardian (parent). Just because one is mad at the other doesn't mean they can't see their child.

I wouldn't want to be involved in this
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SilverSabre25 07:01 AM 05-13-2014
You cannot legally keep a child from a biological parent without a court order of some kind. I would advise the parent of this immediately.
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Play Care 07:12 AM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
You cannot legally keep a child from a biological parent without a court order of some kind. I would advise the parent of this immediately.
This. Keeping a child from a parent without a court order could be considered kidnapping. If you are licensed call your licensor just to give her the heads up. But call the parent who told you not to release the child ASAP to let them know you don't have that authority unless you have that court order.
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llpa 07:18 AM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
This. Keeping a child from a parent without a court order could be considered kidnapping. If you are licensed call your licensor just to give her the heads up. But call the parent who told you not to release the child ASAP to let them know you don't have that authority unless you have that court order.

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KiddieCahoots 07:20 AM 05-13-2014
I'd be ready to call the police if both parents arrive and start having issues on your property. Things like this can get hairy.
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Heidi 07:21 AM 05-13-2014
You can, however, call the police and let them deal with it, should it happen.
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MarinaVanessa 08:14 AM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
You can, however, call the police and let them deal with it, should it happen.
If there is no court order and the other parent takes the child even the police won't do anything. They will ask if there is a court order and if there isn't they'll say there's nothing they can do. A parent can't kidnap their own child if there isn't a court order KWIM

I would do as others have said and explain to BOTH parents that you are neutral and do not want to get involved. They need to discuss between themselves and come to an agreement and give it to you in writing with both of their signatures. Otherwise tell them that there is nothing you can do.

A while back a similar situation was brought up and BC posted a letter that she gives to parents that are separated or going through separation. I took it and changed it to fit my needs. Maybe you can do something similar. Maybe BC can also post her original letter?2
Attached: RE When Families Separate.pdf (59.1 KB) 
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midaycare 08:22 AM 05-13-2014
Good advice has already been posted - you definitely can not keep a child from a parent without a custody order / legal order stating that. Edited to add - I have that in my handbook - just a section saying that I can not legally keep a child from parent without a court order.
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wdmmom 08:32 AM 05-13-2014
Tell the dcp that is saying the other can't pick up that you don't have the authority to hold a child from the other and that you aren't getting involved. Tell them to provide you with who is picking up and release the child to whomever comes first. End of story.
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TwinKristi 09:55 AM 05-13-2014
Yeah, like the others said, what she's asking you to do is illegal. You cannot prevent a parent from taking their child without a court order. I've had two families with protective orders against a parent and I have them on file. One had visitation and I was actually the pickup person which also got ugly because mom lied to dad and said they were going on vacation out of state to avoid him having his visits and he straight up asked me if the kids were there and why they weren't on vacation. The other didn't know where I lived and I never had to deal with him thankfully.
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coolconfidentme 10:01 AM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
Yeah, like the others said, what she's asking you to do is illegal. You cannot prevent a parent from taking their child without a court order. I've had two families with protective orders against a parent and I have them on file. One had visitation and I was actually the pickup person which also got ugly because mom lied to dad and said they were going on vacation out of state to avoid him having his visits and he straight up asked me if the kids were there and why they weren't on vacation. The other didn't know where I lived and I never had to deal with him thankfully.
I had a similar situation. I never understood why people think we want to be part of their drama.
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Angelsj 10:34 AM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
You cannot legally keep a child from a biological parent without a court order of some kind. I would advise the parent of this immediately.
Bingo. I would add, however, that this is not just biological. It works for adopted, step, etc. If the parent is on the paperwork, you must release the child, or call the police to mediate. (as in the case of someone being inebriated)
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Second Home 11:25 AM 05-13-2014
Not a situation I would want to be involved in . Thankfully I have not had to deal with this ....yet .
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Meeko 12:10 PM 05-13-2014
I make it very clear to my clients that unless they give me a copy of a signed legal order....whichever parent shows up gets the child. I cannot legally keep a child from it's parent.

I will not get in the middle of disputes.
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debbiedoeszip 12:26 PM 05-13-2014
I also agree with the others that without some kind of legal documentation that you cannot withhold the child from either parent. I would also be inclined to tell mom that if any divorce/custody drama is brought to the daycare (including repeated requests to illegally withhold the child from the other parent) that you will be terminating the daycare arrangement. You don't need that crap.
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missy 06:31 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
You can, however, call the police and let them deal with it, should it happen.
Yes, this. When in doubt let the police come and they can make some calls and figure it out. Let them make the call if you feel uncomfy.
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renodeb 02:43 PM 05-14-2014
I agree if there is no court papers then you can't really withhold the child. I would not want to be in your shoes. Keep us posted.
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