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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Hit on by a DCD
Danny 02:57 PM 01-20-2016
Hi guys,
Just wanted to share my wife's experience this past week. I wanted to know if anyone has had a similar experience and what you did.
So my wife started taking care of a 1.5 yr old boy at the beginning of this year. His parents are separated. So last Friday as the dad was leaving after picking up his son he had the nerve to ask my wife out on a date. We are absolutely sure that he knew my wife was married. What's worse is that he did it in front of two other moms that were there picking up their kids. To make this story short, my wife felt so uncomfortable that she told the mom that she could no longer watch her son. What a week...
Just wanted to share my wife's experience this past week. I wanted to know if anyone has had a similar experience and what you did.
So my wife started taking care of a 1.5 yr old boy at the beginning of this year. His parents are separated. So last Friday as the dad was leaving after picking up his son he had the nerve to ask my wife out on a date. We are absolutely sure that he knew my wife was married. What's worse is that he did it in front of two other moms that were there picking up their kids. To make this story short, my wife felt so uncomfortable that she told the mom that she could no longer watch her son. What a week...
Rockgirl 03:13 PM 01-20-2016
Wow! Your wife did the right thing in letting them go.
Blackcat31 03:15 PM 01-20-2016
Originally Posted by Danny:
Hi guys,
Just wanted to share my wife's experience this past week. I wanted to know if anyone has had a similar experience and what you did.
So my wife started taking care of a 1.5 yr old boy at the beginning of this year. His parents are separated. So last Friday as the dad was leaving after picking up his son he had the nerve to ask my wife out on a date. We are absolutely sure that he knew my wife was married. What's worse is that he did it in front of two other moms that were there picking up their kids. To make this story short, my wife felt so uncomfortable that she told the mom that she could no longer watch her son. What a week...
It's actually more common than you'd think. Hi guys,
Just wanted to share my wife's experience this past week. I wanted to know if anyone has had a similar experience and what you did.
So my wife started taking care of a 1.5 yr old boy at the beginning of this year. His parents are separated. So last Friday as the dad was leaving after picking up his son he had the nerve to ask my wife out on a date. We are absolutely sure that he knew my wife was married. What's worse is that he did it in front of two other moms that were there picking up their kids. To make this story short, my wife felt so uncomfortable that she told the mom that she could no longer watch her son. What a week...
One of our long time members wrote a book about the different types of parents.
She has a chapter called "Creeper Dad"
It sounds alot like your wife's client.
Here is the link to the book.
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...ords=Tori+Fees
It's an EXCELLENT read!
Cat Herder 03:43 PM 01-20-2016
Very common. 
All. The. Time.
Eventually she will become a pro at redirecting adult behaviors as well as the children's.
All. The. Time.Eventually she will become a pro at redirecting adult behaviors as well as the children's.
Thriftylady 03:45 PM 01-20-2016
I had it happen years ago in KS. To be fair though, DH knew the guy before I started care. He told me the guy had boundary issues. Back then, I thought I had to take every family that wanted care, and I needed the money. Wish I had not taken that one!
Josiegirl 01:55 AM 01-21-2016
I've never been hit on??
DaveA 04:28 AM 01-21-2016
Unfortunately it is fairly common, and not just the DCDs. Some people are just morons. I used to have a memo a friend gave me from the center she worked at. It said "Although we are not in the habit of telling staff what to do in their personal lives, we strongly encourage staff not to date the parents. Especially the married ones."
Your wife did the right thing terming care for the child. People who don't get it aren't worth the headache.
Your wife did the right thing terming care for the child. People who don't get it aren't worth the headache.
Play Care 05:19 AM 01-21-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I've never been hit on??
Me either. Now I feel like a dumpster fire.I've never been hit on??
Thriftylady 05:35 AM 01-21-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I've never been hit on??
Your DCD's are probably just scared of all those kiddos!I've never been hit on??
Josiegirl 09:46 AM 01-21-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Your DCD's are probably just scared of all those kiddos!
Haha yeh, they've seen them all in action. Your DCD's are probably just scared of all those kiddos!
Nah I think I have happily married couples. Go figure.
Silly Songs 11:11 AM 01-21-2016
Wow. The stories I could tell ! Not about myself , but other teachers I know in daycare centers ! Yes , even teachers hitting on dads. Very common, although they try to be discreet about it. Big problem with dads and daycare employees dating, even when both are single/divorced. It crosses the line and makes things uncomfortable.
Annalee 11:16 AM 01-21-2016
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
Wow. The stories I could tell ! Not about myself , but other teachers I know in daycare centers ! Yes , even teachers hitting on dads. Very common, although they try to be discreet about it. Big problem with dads and daycare employees dating, even when both are single/divorced. It crosses the line and makes things uncomfortable.
We have a problem here with teachers hitting on other teachers.....they are getting caught way too much here! Wow. The stories I could tell ! Not about myself , but other teachers I know in daycare centers ! Yes , even teachers hitting on dads. Very common, although they try to be discreet about it. Big problem with dads and daycare employees dating, even when both are single/divorced. It crosses the line and makes things uncomfortable.
mommyneedsadayoff 11:17 AM 01-21-2016
I have had the "lingering" dad, but I didn't feel uncomfortable by it. I think they were just wanting some conversation, so it didn't feel funny to me. I think it is a good idea to terminate ANY parent who makes you feel uncomfortable or objectified. If you dread pick up or drop off, simply because you will be in contact with a parent who makes you feel weird, it is best to move on
Ariana 04:46 PM 01-21-2016
Yes I have had the "lingering" dad too but I have never been hit on. I also had a dad who would call me about something but then would keep me on the line for a while which to me began to feel uncomfortable....he was one of the lingerers.
I would be so upset if a dad ever crossed that line if I was not single.
I would be so upset if a dad ever crossed that line if I was not single.
AmyKidsCo 08:01 PM 01-21-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I've never been hit on??
Ditto! I'm not sure if I should feel disappointed or relieved... I've never been hit on??
Unregistered 04:10 PM 01-22-2016
I had a dcd hit on me. And dcb said he and dad came to my house at night and looked in the windows. I didn't worry about that since he couldn't see in anywhere that I was at night. I confided in a dcm who was also my friend and she made a point of coming at closing time and being the last one out.
I never told the wife, but ran into her a few years later and they were divorced.
I never told the wife, but ran into her a few years later and they were divorced.
KidGrind 04:19 PM 01-22-2016
It’s common.
A peer had one a couple of father’s test their boundaries. She termed both.
Also a potential client requested a photo of her before the interview to see if she was attractive. The DCM didn’t want an attractive childcare provider.
At Fort Meyers one of the staff ended up pregnant by one of the married DCDs.
A peer had one a couple of father’s test their boundaries. She termed both.
Also a potential client requested a photo of her before the interview to see if she was attractive. The DCM didn’t want an attractive childcare provider.
At Fort Meyers one of the staff ended up pregnant by one of the married DCDs.
Mad_Pistachio 04:39 PM 01-22-2016
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
The DCM didn’t want an attractive childcare provider.
I was working through the agency for a while, and an agent has found a family that needed a full-time nanny. so, I call the family and talk to the mother, and it's all fun and interesting, and we have a few things in common (both immigrants, both with accents, we know our visas, and all that), and then she asks me how old I am. I go, "I'm 25, ma'am." there is a slightly pregnant pause (about 20 weeks or so), and then she hesitantly says, "I think you are a little too young..." I asked what age nanny she would be more comfortable with (after the "too young" comment I already knew I wasn't getting the job, so I didn't care if she got mad), and she said that someone in their 50's would be appropriate.The DCM didn’t want an attractive childcare provider.
now, I don't know for certain, but I kind of felt some insecurity coming from her. it may have been that she was looking for a nanny for a few years, and younger ones tend to get married, pregnant, and leave their jobs... but something told me that she was just cautious to hire a young nanny because she may hit on her husband. maybe she had bad experience before, or she was just plain prejudiced... whatever.
when my agent called me back to ask how it went, I told him exactly what she said. he laughed really hard and then said, "well, I guess we keep searching."
Josiegirl 02:57 AM 01-23-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
I was working through the agency for a while, and an agent has found a family that needed a full-time nanny. so, I call the family and talk to the mother, and it's all fun and interesting, and we have a few things in common (both immigrants, both with accents, we know our visas, and all that), and then she asks me how old I am. I go, "I'm 25, ma'am." there is a slightly pregnant pause (about 20 weeks or so), and then she hesitantly says, "I think you are a little too young..." I asked what age nanny she would be more comfortable with (after the "too young" comment I already knew I wasn't getting the job, so I didn't care if she got mad), and she said that someone in their 50's would be appropriate.
now, I don't know for certain, but I kind of felt some insecurity coming from her. it may have been that she was looking for a nanny for a few years, and younger ones tend to get married, pregnant, and leave their jobs... but something told me that she was just cautious to hire a young nanny because she may hit on her husband. maybe she had bad experience before, or she was just plain prejudiced... whatever.
when my agent called me back to ask how it went, I told him exactly what she said. he laughed really hard and then said, "well, I guess we keep searching."
Maybe that mom had seen the movie The Hand That Rocked The Cradle. Creepy thriller where the nanny wants the life the mother has and tries to steal it away from her, and murder is not beneath her. I was working through the agency for a while, and an agent has found a family that needed a full-time nanny. so, I call the family and talk to the mother, and it's all fun and interesting, and we have a few things in common (both immigrants, both with accents, we know our visas, and all that), and then she asks me how old I am. I go, "I'm 25, ma'am." there is a slightly pregnant pause (about 20 weeks or so), and then she hesitantly says, "I think you are a little too young..." I asked what age nanny she would be more comfortable with (after the "too young" comment I already knew I wasn't getting the job, so I didn't care if she got mad), and she said that someone in their 50's would be appropriate.
now, I don't know for certain, but I kind of felt some insecurity coming from her. it may have been that she was looking for a nanny for a few years, and younger ones tend to get married, pregnant, and leave their jobs... but something told me that she was just cautious to hire a young nanny because she may hit on her husband. maybe she had bad experience before, or she was just plain prejudiced... whatever.
when my agent called me back to ask how it went, I told him exactly what she said. he laughed really hard and then said, "well, I guess we keep searching."
Mad_Pistachio 03:56 AM 01-23-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Maybe that mom had seen the movie The Hand That Rocked The Cradle. Creepy thriller where the nanny wants the life the mother has and tries to steal it away from her, and murder is not beneath her.
I had a desire to spank a parent before, but never to kill one Maybe that mom had seen the movie The Hand That Rocked The Cradle. Creepy thriller where the nanny wants the life the mother has and tries to steal it away from her, and murder is not beneath her.
Nisaryn 08:32 PM 01-23-2016
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
Also a potential client requested a photo of her before the interview to see if she was attractive. The DCM didn’t want an attractive childcare provider.
THIS! I have had two DCMs meet me and then decide they didn't want me to care for their children b/c their husbands would have to pick their kids up and were worried about my 'appearance'....at first I didn't know what they meant, did I have something on my face? It was my hubby who clued me in....unfortunately it happens a LOT in the military communities....lonely guys/gals.Also a potential client requested a photo of her before the interview to see if she was attractive. The DCM didn’t want an attractive childcare provider.
KidGrind 01:41 PM 01-24-2016
Originally Posted by Nisaryn:
THIS! I have had two DCMs meet me and then decide they didn't want me to care for their children b/c their husbands would have to pick their kids up and were worried about my 'appearance'....at first I didn't know what they meant, did I have something on my face? It was my hubby who clued me in....unfortunately it happens a LOT in the military communities....lonely guys/gals.
It’s no more prevalent in the military communities than civilian. We’re just a microcosm of larger society.THIS! I have had two DCMs meet me and then decide they didn't want me to care for their children b/c their husbands would have to pick their kids up and were worried about my 'appearance'....at first I didn't know what they meant, did I have something on my face? It was my hubby who clued me in....unfortunately it happens a LOT in the military communities....lonely guys/gals.
The photo requesting DCM did state father would be doing all drop offs and pick ups.
Laurel 05:13 AM 01-25-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Me either. Now I feel like a dumpster fire.
Me either. Was I not good enough? Me either. Now I feel like a dumpster fire.
There was this one time when I worked in a preschool in the early years that this one dad who just happened to be handsome wore this cologne that smelled amazing. I don't like perfumes or colognes or even scented candles as a rule but he smelled great. It took a lot of courage for me to ask him what kind it was because I was afraid he might think I was hitting on him. It took a few weeks but I finally asked and he was really nice about it. It was Polo. I guess that doesn't count though.
Play Care 09:04 AM 01-25-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
I was working through the agency for a while, and an agent has found a family that needed a full-time nanny. so, I call the family and talk to the mother, and it's all fun and interesting, and we have a few things in common (both immigrants, both with accents, we know our visas, and all that), and then she asks me how old I am. I go, "I'm 25, ma'am." there is a slightly pregnant pause (about 20 weeks or so), and then she hesitantly says, "I think you are a little too young..." I asked what age nanny she would be more comfortable with (after the "too young" comment I already knew I wasn't getting the job, so I didn't care if she got mad), and she said that someone in their 50's would be appropriate.
now, I don't know for certain, but I kind of felt some insecurity coming from her. it may have been that she was looking for a nanny for a few years, and younger ones tend to get married, pregnant, and leave their jobs... but something told me that she was just cautious to hire a young nanny because she may hit on her husband. maybe she had bad experience before, or she was just plain prejudiced... whatever.
when my agent called me back to ask how it went, I told him exactly what she said. he laughed really hard and then said, "well, I guess we keep searching."
It could be, but I really think it had to do with you being pregnant. I was on a parenting forum years ago and what I read made me never ever want to nanny. People are brutal to them. They don't like them to have lives and Heaven forbid they got pregnant. There was even a thread, IIRC, titled "oh sh!t, my nanny got knocked up!" And basically it was moms moaning about how they had to figure out how to fire the nanny legally because they didn't want her pregnancy and mat leave interfering with their plans. I was working through the agency for a while, and an agent has found a family that needed a full-time nanny. so, I call the family and talk to the mother, and it's all fun and interesting, and we have a few things in common (both immigrants, both with accents, we know our visas, and all that), and then she asks me how old I am. I go, "I'm 25, ma'am." there is a slightly pregnant pause (about 20 weeks or so), and then she hesitantly says, "I think you are a little too young..." I asked what age nanny she would be more comfortable with (after the "too young" comment I already knew I wasn't getting the job, so I didn't care if she got mad), and she said that someone in their 50's would be appropriate.
now, I don't know for certain, but I kind of felt some insecurity coming from her. it may have been that she was looking for a nanny for a few years, and younger ones tend to get married, pregnant, and leave their jobs... but something told me that she was just cautious to hire a young nanny because she may hit on her husband. maybe she had bad experience before, or she was just plain prejudiced... whatever.
when my agent called me back to ask how it went, I told him exactly what she said. he laughed really hard and then said, "well, I guess we keep searching."
Ariana 03:16 PM 01-25-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
It could be, but I really think it had to do with you being pregnant. I was on a parenting forum years ago and what I read made me never ever want to nanny. People are brutal to them. They don't like them to have lives and Heaven forbid they got pregnant. There was even a thread, IIRC, titled "oh sh!t, my nanny got knocked up!" And basically it was moms moaning about how they had to figure out how to fire the nanny legally because they didn't want her pregnancy and mat leave interfering with their plans.
She said "pregnant pause" not that she was really pregnant. The "20 weeks or so" was a joke.....I think!It could be, but I really think it had to do with you being pregnant. I was on a parenting forum years ago and what I read made me never ever want to nanny. People are brutal to them. They don't like them to have lives and Heaven forbid they got pregnant. There was even a thread, IIRC, titled "oh sh!t, my nanny got knocked up!" And basically it was moms moaning about how they had to figure out how to fire the nanny legally because they didn't want her pregnancy and mat leave interfering with their plans.
Nisaryn 08:21 PM 01-25-2016
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
It’s no more prevalent in the military communities than civilian. We’re just a microcosm of larger society.
Oh I know that, it's just it is much more visible in the military communities and we're under a lot more scrutiny, especially where our family currently stationed. I mean it's a big base but the housing communities are super tightly knit so you hear a lot, some of it's true and some of it isn't. I know that when I was active duty though it was a game for people to try to hit on the spouse (whether they were AD or civilian) and see if they could get them to cave in and cheat. I had friends that would joke about it...it was more than a little gross and I did have several guys try to see if they could "break" me into going out with them It’s no more prevalent in the military communities than civilian. We’re just a microcosm of larger society.
, it never worked . But back to the subject, I have had other spouses tell me that they were uncomfortable with how young I looked and that they didn't trust their husbands not to say/do anything.
Play Care 03:04 AM 01-26-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
She said "pregnant pause" not that she was really pregnant. The "20 weeks or so" was a joke.....I think!
OMG! I totally read that as she was pregnant! She said "pregnant pause" not that she was really pregnant. The "20 weeks or so" was a joke.....I think!
Yeah, it was your age,
Unregistered 01:34 PM 01-31-2016
I've had women hit on me (I'm a woman) and other women asked for three ways. The best was all of these women were married to men. The one who wanted a three way said she didn't like having sex with her husband. :/ OK. On the flip side, I had a very unattractive aide when I was in a head start. She got jumped by a bunch of moms who were from her country, because she had been doing their husbands. This woman was like 200lbs. It was like an episode of Jerry Springer.