Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Waking Child Up During Naptime
momma2girls 09:58 AM 07-02-2010
I have had a fillin that asked me to wake her daughter up after one hr. then another one has told me that their one yr. old child only takes one nap from 10:00-11:00 or 11:30 and that is it!!! HA!!!!!! I just can't wait to have her come back after summer break, telling me that I am to be on their schedule for naptime!!! lol!!!!
Do you wake up a child after one hr. to satisfy parents? I have never before, and do not plan on doing it now!!!
Reply
jen 10:03 AM 07-02-2010
God no....

And I'd bet they don't either!!!
Reply
SunflowerMama 10:07 AM 07-02-2010
Ummm no way. Only time I wake them is if they sleep past 4p and parents are coming to pick-up .
Reply
momma2girls 10:31 AM 07-02-2010
SO what do you tell the parents? Have you had this happen before? I have really never had this come up before in all my yrs.
Reply
Janet 10:49 AM 07-02-2010
when pigs fly and monkeys rule the world!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I would never, ever agree to that. I've been asked and I've said "no" every single time. I've had parents ask that their toddlers not nap so that they will go to bed earlier at home. Nope. I've had a parent TELL me that her daughter who was 16months old at the time shouldn't nap for more than a total of 45 minutes and she was to be fully awake by 2:00PM. Did I mention that they arrived at 5:30AM??? That did not happen. I let that child go back to sleep when she arrived (mother said I was not to let her go back to sleep) and I let her take a regular afternoon nap.

Children need sleep, plain and simple.
Reply
Daycare Mommy 10:52 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
Do you wake up a child after one hr. to satisfy parents?
No! If they're asleep I let them keep at it. I'll wake them at 3 hours or 3:30pm whichever is first, if they go on that long on their own, but generally everyone here gets up after 1.5-2 hrs, but mine are older (2-5yrs), so that baby especially is not getting a healthy amount of sleep.

Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
SO what do you tell the parents? Have you had this happen before? I have really never had this come up before in all my yrs.
I'd find some good articles on healthy amounts of sleep for that age group to show her and then if she still wants to argue it I'd just straight up say no. I refuse to deliberately do something that I know is unhealthy for these little guys in my care.
Reply
Francine 10:54 AM 07-02-2010
I have a new one year old that is here Monday and Tuesdays until 11:00-11:30 am, Dad picks up and wants to take him home and give him lunch and a nap so they don't want me to nap him at all in the a.m. He is exhausted, I don't put him down for a nap but every single day he falls asleep on the couch. BUT I DIDN'T PUT HIM DOWN FOR A NAP. Dad wants it this way because he has to go back to work at 3:00 so HE wants a nap ( works until 3:00 a.m.) in my opinion they should just leave him here all day if Dad needs the sleep so bad. I'm not going to listen to a one year old scream because he is tired so that the Dad can sleep. At home this works because he doesn't wake up until 8:00-9:00 but on my days he has to get woke up to come.
Reply
momma2girls 11:00 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy:
No! If they're asleep I let them keep at it. I'll wake them at 3 hours or 3:30pm whichever is first, if they go on that long on their own, but generally everyone here gets up after 1.5-2 hrs, but mine are older (2-5yrs), so that baby especially is not getting a healthy amount of sleep.



I'd find some good articles on healthy amounts of sleep for that age group to show her and then if she still wants to argue it I'd just straight up say no. I refuse to deliberately do something that I know is unhealthy for these little guys in my care.
Yes, I have an article out of a med magazine that I receive, with the amt. of sleep a child should receive everyday- toddlers/preschoolers- 11-14 hrs., and 5-12 yr. old 10-11 hrs. I plan on showing everyone, if anyone complains again!!!
Reply
Daycare Mommy 11:04 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Miss Joy:
I have a new one year old that is here Monday and Tuesdays until 11:00-11:30 am, Dad picks up and wants to take him home and give him lunch and a nap so they don't want me to nap him at all in the a.m. He is exhausted, I don't put him down for a nap but every single day he falls asleep on the couch. BUT I DIDN'T PUT HIM DOWN FOR A NAP. Dad wants it this way because he has to go back to work at 3:00 so HE wants a nap ( works until 3:00 a.m.) in my opinion they should just leave him here all day if Dad needs the sleep so bad. I'm not going to listen to a one year old scream because he is tired so that the Dad can sleep. At home this works because he doesn't wake up until 8:00-9:00 but on my days he has to get woke up to come.
Ugh! What time does he come? I'd give him a normal AM nap after he's been up 2 hrs or so. He's too little to be down to just an afternoon nap. This arrangement will be fine when he's older, but that doesn't sound good at all for one so young.
Reply
momma2girls 11:09 AM 07-02-2010
My one yr. olds that come still need their am naps- one is up at 5:00-5:30, they live an hr. away, so the child is up very early. She is definately tired by about 9:00am!!
Reply
nannyde 11:10 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I have had a fillin that asked me to wake her daughter up after one hr. then another one has told me that their one yr. old child only takes one nap from 10:00-11:00 or 11:30 and that is it!!! HA!!!!!! I just can't wait to have her come back after summer break, telling me that I am to be on their schedule for naptime!!! lol!!!!
Do you wake up a child after one hr. to satisfy parents? I have never before, and do not plan on doing it now!!!


Heck NO. Parents don't decide when a child sleeps in my house. I decide that.
Reply
Francine 11:11 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy:
Ugh! What time does he come? I'd give him a normal AM nap after he's been up 2 hrs or so. He's too little to be down to just an afternoon nap. This arrangement will be fine when he's older, but that doesn't sound good at all for one so young.
I agree, that's why I let him go to sleep when he wants to in the morning. He get's here at 7:45 and usually crashes at about 9:00 until about 9:45-10.00, when Dad picks up at 11:00 he looks fully awake. I was desperate for clients when I took them on, I think if I would have come right out and said that I refuse to keep him up they would have went someplace else. I really like them, this is their first child and she is pregnant again so it's a family that I can ultimately have for years. I am hopeing that as time goes on they will realize that leaving him here all day is a better idea, I'm SURE they will once baby #2 is born.
Reply
nannyde 11:30 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Miss Joy:
I have a new one year old that is here Monday and Tuesdays until 11:00-11:30 am, Dad picks up and wants to take him home and give him lunch and a nap so they don't want me to nap him at all in the a.m. He is exhausted, I don't put him down for a nap but every single day he falls asleep on the couch. BUT I DIDN'T PUT HIM DOWN FOR A NAP. Dad wants it this way because he has to go back to work at 3:00 so HE wants a nap ( works until 3:00 a.m.) in my opinion they should just leave him here all day if Dad needs the sleep so bad. I'm not going to listen to a one year old scream because he is tired so that the Dad can sleep. At home this works because he doesn't wake up until 8:00-9:00 but on my days he has to get woke up to come.
Please tell me you are charging them for a full time slot. I don't do half days. BTDT and all it is is the parent wanting to pay for half a day of care when the half the kid is missing is a time when they would be asleep anyway.
Reply
nannyde 11:46 AM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
Yes, I have an article out of a med magazine that I receive, with the amt. of sleep a child should receive everyday- toddlers/preschoolers- 11-14 hrs., and 5-12 yr. old 10-11 hrs. I plan on showing everyone, if anyone complains again!!!
See I don't give out articles like this if they say something like eleven hours for a toddler. The low end of the range is what they will use to justify their request. The parent comes back with "he's sleeping twelve hours at night so he doesn't need any sleep at your house".

Parents who ask you to do stuff like this are asking you to make it possible for them to put the kid to bed for the night very shortly after the kid goes back into the care. They want the kid to drop dead asleep and sleep until it's time to come back to your house.

They want as little time with their child awake as they can possibly get. They don't want them up in the evening and they don't want to have to have a family routine where they put the child to bed awake and they put themselves to sleep.

These are very important child rearing times and they are trying to get you to make up for what they don't want to do in the evening/night so they don't have to do it.
Reply
misol 12:00 PM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy:
No! If they're asleep I let them keep at it. I'll wake them at 3 hours or 3:30pm whichever is first, if they go on that long on their own, but generally everyone here gets up after 1.5-2 hrs...
This is what I do too. WHen waking them I also take into consideration what time they actually fell asleep. Sometimes mine play/talk/ laugh for 30-45 minutes before they actually drift off to sleep!
Reply
momma2girls 12:06 PM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by misol:
This is what I do too. WHen waking them I also take into consideration what time they actually fell asleep. Sometimes mine play/talk/ laugh for 30-45 minutes before they actually drift off to sleep!
I wake up everyone at 3:30 and not before.
Reply
Francine 02:08 PM 07-02-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Please tell me you are charging them for a full time slot. I don't do half days. BTDT and all it is is the parent wanting to pay for half a day of care when the half the kid is missing is a time when they would be asleep anyway.

Noooo I'm not, I know that I should be but like I said earlier when I took them on I was desperately in need of clients and one of the reasons that they left the other daycare was that she wasn't willing to work with them. That being said they wanted to just do Wednesdays and I said no way that I needed at least two full days so they broke it up into two half days and 1 full day. I don't normally do half days either but I really wanted them so I worked with them.
Reply
professionalmom 06:29 PM 07-02-2010
One of my biggest rules: You never, ever wake a sleeping child, UNLESS it is an emergency (fire, tornado, spiking a high fever and needs medial attention) or the parents arrive to pick up. Period. If they are still asleep, they must need the extra sleep. Plus, you never know if the child has caught a bug and needs the extra sleep time to fight it off. Also, when children sleep (and adults for that matter), their brains are working overtime to process everything that has happened during the waking hours. It helps to improve their overall brain function and don't we all want brilliant children?
Reply
melissa ann 05:12 AM 07-03-2010
I have a 15 mo in my care. Most days he is here right after 6am. I give him breakfast and let him play till about 7. Then, down for a nap. Not long. He ususally gets up after an hour. If he doesn't nap in the morning, he is out by 10 and will sleep longer and miss lunch. With his morning nap, he still takes a nap after lunch with the older kids I'm very firm about everyone taking afternoon naps. Otherwise, by, 2-3pm, they are all crabby as all heck.
Reply
QualiTcare 11:10 AM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
See I don't give out articles like this if they say something like eleven hours for a toddler. The low end of the range is what they will use to justify their request. The parent comes back with "he's sleeping twelve hours at night so he doesn't need any sleep at your house".

Parents who ask you to do stuff like this are asking you to make it possible for them to put the kid to bed for the night very shortly after the kid goes back into the care. They want the kid to drop dead asleep and sleep until it's time to come back to your house.

They want as little time with their child awake as they can possibly get. They don't want them up in the evening and they don't want to have to have a family routine where they put the child to bed awake and they put themselves to sleep.

These are very important child rearing times and they are trying to get you to make up for what they don't want to do in the evening/night so they don't have to do it.
do you think all parents are bad - or just the ones that take their kids to daycare?
Reply
QualiTcare 11:30 AM 07-03-2010
if you have a scheduled nap time then the parents should assume when they sign up that their kids will be sleeping from 12-2 (or whatever the time is) -

but that also means they don't expect them to be sleeping PAST 2. i can't believe there are kids waking from nap as late as 3:30-4. my god - i bet those parents never get the kids to sleep at night.

i hear there are kids who go to bed at 8pm. mine never have and their naps were from 12:30-2:30. of course i always suspected the providers were a little eager to start naptime early and not so eager for it to end - so that 12:30-2:30 turns into 12-3 for kids that already stay up til 10-11 at night.

i guess i'm alone here, but if naptime is over at 2:30 - i'd wake them up at 2:30. the only thing worse than someone letting kids sleep half the day is LYING about how long they slept. my mother in law is the queen of it - and i know providers do it too. EVERYONE knows when you lie about naptime. ohhh, so it's just a coincidence that he stays up until 2 a.m. after spending the day at your house when he's always asleep by 11 - okay!! that's believable.
Reply
nannyde 12:46 PM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
do you think all parents are bad - or just the ones that take their kids to daycare?
Nope

I think parents who want young children to stay up for ten hours at your house want to put their kids to bed without any fussing and they want them to go to bed early in the evening.
Reply
nannyde 01:06 PM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by professionalmom:
One of my biggest rules: You never, ever wake a sleeping child, UNLESS it is an emergency (fire, tornado, spiking a high fever and needs medial attention) or the parents arrive to pick up. Period. If they are still asleep, they must need the extra sleep. Plus, you never know if the child has caught a bug and needs the extra sleep time to fight it off. Also, when children sleep (and adults for that matter), their brains are working overtime to process everything that has happened during the waking hours. It helps to improve their overall brain function and don't we all want brilliant children?
We wake the kids up almost every day. We have a schedule and we stick to it pretty closely. I don't want them sleeping past three p.m. so we go into the rooms at around two forty five and start making a little noise. We put the TV on for a bit and let everyone wake up slowly. Some pop right up and some wake up over time.

I don't like the idea of them sleeping too much past three. I think that can cause bedtime issues for the three/four year olds especially.
Reply
QualiTcare 02:39 PM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nope

I think parents who want young children to stay up for ten hours at your house want to put their kids to bed without any fussing and they want them to go to bed early in the evening.
oh, okay. i get the impression that you really, really don't like parents. i didn't know if you thought all parents don't want their kids or just the ones that have two people in the home working and have to use daycare. either way, that's a LOT of unwanted pregnancies if you're right.
Reply
professionalmom 04:08 PM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
We wake the kids up almost every day. We have a schedule and we stick to it pretty closely. I don't want them sleeping past three p.m. so we go into the rooms at around two forty five and start making a little noise. We put the TV on for a bit and let everyone wake up slowly. Some pop right up and some wake up over time.

I don't like the idea of them sleeping too much past three. I think that can cause bedtime issues for the three/four year olds especially.
When I had a full daycare (6 children), a couple would wake up after 2 hours and I let them get up even though others were still sleeping. If the others woke up -great! But I had 2 sisters who would sleep for 3-4 hours if I let them. However, they also had 6 older siblings at home and I got the impression that there was always some kind of activity at their house and they did not get much sleep at night. These were also the 2 girls that would eat anything I served and would eat until they puked, if I let them. The older of the 2 girls always begged me to let her stay at my house when it was time to go home.

But I don't actually wake them up. Once a couple of kids are awake, I let them get up. They end up making enough noise to wake the others. But until at least 2 or 3 are awake they need to stay quiet. But I never say, "come up, Johnny, it's time to wake up sleepy head. Rise and shine."
Reply
nannyde 05:25 PM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
oh, okay. i get the impression that you really, really don't like parents. i didn't know if you thought all parents don't want their kids or just the ones that have two people in the home working and have to use daycare. either way, that's a LOT of unwanted pregnancies if you're right.
If I'm right about what? You are turning this into something I didn't say.

I'll try it for the third time: I think parents who want young children to stay up in day care for ten straight hours want their children to go to bed at night without fussing and want them to go to bed early in the evening.

These two year olds that are up from six/seven in the morning and up for nine/ten hours straight at day care go to sleep by passing out and they go to bed early in the evening.

This makes it possible for the parents to not have to have a bedtime routine where they put the child to bed awake and the child puts himself to sleep. It makes it possible for them to go to bed EARLY in the evening so the parents can have TIME at night where they don't have their kids up.

You can call it whatever you want but the OP post was a textbook case of this scenario. Over the many years I have done day care I have seen this in my own business and in the business of MANY of my friends who do care.

Children need TIME with their parents after day care. They need activities at home with their family. They need to go outside and do educational activies with their parents. They need to have a family routine where they as a family do meals, bath, time FOR the child, and a consistent bedtime routine.

Bypassing that by having an exhausted kid who has been up for twelve hours does not a healthy balanced child make.

We need to stop pretending that this isn't a real issue in this society because it is. We need to stop throwing silly excuses into the mix. We need to stop pretending that there are "special" cases where normal healthy children can do without sleep. We need to quit insisting that providers suck it up and just take care of these children because the child's parents don't want to parent their kid.

Enough
Reply
Unregistered 06:17 PM 07-03-2010
sometimes i gently remind parents that young children must have enough sleep to thrive. if a young child is up until 10 or 11 at night it is a disapline issue and not a sleep issue
Reply
QualiTcare 11:32 PM 07-03-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
If I'm right about what? You are turning this into something I didn't say.

I'll try it for the third time: I think parents who want young children to stay up in day care for ten straight hours want their children to go to bed at night without fussing and want them to go to bed early in the evening.

These two year olds that are up from six/seven in the morning and up for nine/ten hours straight at day care go to sleep by passing out and they go to bed early in the evening.

This makes it possible for the parents to not have to have a bedtime routine where they put the child to bed awake and the child puts himself to sleep. It makes it possible for them to go to bed EARLY in the evening so the parents can have TIME at night where they don't have their kids up.

You can call it whatever you want but the OP post was a textbook case of this scenario. Over the many years I have done day care I have seen this in my own business and in the business of MANY of my friends who do care.

Children need TIME with their parents after day care. They need activities at home with their family. They need to go outside and do educational activies with their parents. They need to have a family routine where they as a family do meals, bath, time FOR the child, and a consistent bedtime routine.

Bypassing that by having an exhausted kid who has been up for twelve hours does not a healthy balanced child make.

We need to stop pretending that this isn't a real issue in this society because it is. We need to stop throwing silly excuses into the mix. We need to stop pretending that there are "special" cases where normal healthy children can do without sleep. We need to quit insisting that providers suck it up and just take care of these children because the child's parents don't want to parent their kid.

Enough
to answer your question - i meant if you're right about parents not wanting to spend time with their kids ever - and i wasn't referring to your response to this post ONLY and this PARTICULAR situation - you speak generally about parents, not only in this post, but others as well.

i realize there are parents who would love to have someone else care for their children all the time and don't care if they ever see them - i've met some. but not ALL parents (again, you speak very generally/negatively) are like that. i'm not - are you?

that's why i asked if you think ALL parents meet the criteria of wanting as little to do with their children as possible, or if it's just parents who use daycare services that fall into this category.

do you not have any parents that are crazy about their kids - that pick them up as soon as they get off work and show interest in what they're doing at daycare, etc?

my children went to daycare and i didn't want them sleeping past 2:30 (the time they are supposed to wake up) after a 2.5-3 hour nap. does that mean i didn't want to have to deal with them at night? apparently not because we never got home before 6:30 and they didn't go to bed until 10 or 11 - sometimes later on weekends. if they HAD been allowed to sleep even longer i couldn't imagine how late they'd stay up. so, just because a parent doesn't want their kids "getting their nap out" based on the provider's opinion doesn't mean they don't want to deal with their kids at home.

i have had parents who picked their kids up at 6:00 and told me they went to bed at 7 or 8. i don't know HOW that's possible if you don't walk in the door until 6:15-6:30, make dinner, feed them, bathe them, AND spend time with them. my evenings were rushed to get all that done when they stayed up until 10 or 11 so if baffled me.

you just seem to have the opinion that most parents are inherently bad. so, i asked - do you think it's all parents or just DC parents? if i'm wrong and that's not how you feel, it sure seems that way.
Reply
nannyde 03:29 AM 07-04-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
you just seem to have the opinion that most parents are inherently bad. so, i asked - do you think it's all parents or just DC parents? if i'm wrong and that's not how you feel, it sure seems that way.
Naw that's silly. Of course there are good and bad in every segment of the population.

I'm fortunate enough that I can be quite picky about who I take and can interview out a lot of the potential issues in parenting or lack thereof. I've been doing this for a long time.

I DO think we have a serious decline in the quality of parenting in this generation. I can't speak to parents that don't work and don't use child care because I don't work in or study that group of parents.

I'm also able to afford a staff assistant WITH a low ratio of children (max is one adult to four children). I have parents who want to pay for that. That's very hard to find. When you start getting down to the segment of the population that values your work and experience and is able to pay for your services you do end up with a pretty good lot of clients. All of my children have been with me since infancy with the oldest being four.

So yes I'm crazy for my current clients. I've had a really good group for the last five years or so. I worked HARD to get to these guys. I'm very picky and they go thru a three interview process that extends over about three weeks to get a slot. Even after that they are not guaranteed a slot. I don't have them contract with me until they have been here for at least three months but usually around six. I take it slowly with them so I can see them in action before I contract with them.
Reply
misol 12:03 AM 07-05-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:

i guess i'm alone here, but if naptime is over at 2:30 - i'd wake them up at 2:30. the only thing worse than someone letting kids sleep half the day is LYING about how long they slept. my mother in law is the queen of it - and i know providers do it too. EVERYONE knows when you lie about naptime. ohhh, so it's just a coincidence that he stays up until 2 a.m. after spending the day at your house when he's always asleep by 11 - okay!! that's believable.
I let my kids sleep past my scheduled nap time and I have never lied to a parent about how long their child slept. I usually just say "Johnny was really tired today. He slept until 3:30 and I had to wake him up for snack. Did he have a late night or early start this morning?" I only have one dcb that I have to wake up on a regular basis. Everyone else is usually up well before naptime ends.
Reply
Tags:nap times, naptime
Reply Up