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View Poll Results: Do you smoke?
I do NOT smoke, and would never leave my child with a smoker. 110 89.43%
I do NOT smoke, but would leave my child with a smoker. 9 7.32%
I DO smoke, and would leave my child with a smoker. 4 3.25%
I DO smoke, but would never leave my child with a smoker 0 0%
Voters: 123. You may not vote on this poll
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>The "Don't Use This Daycare" Thread Made Me Wonder
youretooloud 08:00 AM 04-10-2013
Do you smoke?

Would you take your child to a provider who smokes?
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ABCDaycareMN 08:04 AM 04-10-2013
The only smoker my kids are left with on rare occasion is their paternal gramdma. But she smokes outside only. When my daughter was a baby I used to hate when she held my daughter after she smoked. I always found a reason for her not to hold her.
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Brooksie 08:07 AM 04-10-2013
I didn't vote because my situation was not an option. I am an occasional smoker as in I smoke 1-2 a day but its really just at night. My daughter has never seen me with a cigarette and I have NEVER smoked during DC hours. I usually do it at night after she's in bed. Its actually against licensing to step 2 feet out of the house without the kids. Technically if you do that's considered abandonment and I could lose my license. I don't think that I would leave my child.. well with any one else (that's why I'm kind of doing this lol) but I would probably choose a non smoker over a smoker. Someone who smokes regularly but couldn't during DC hours, I think would just get too frustrated and be unreliable in their demeanor with the kids. And I definitely wouldn't want someone smoking around the kids.
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Maddy'sMommy 08:07 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke, and wouldn't pick a care provider who does.

We have a few relatives that smoke, but outside, and I wouldn't ask them to babysit. My husband quit smoking when I got pregnant with our first.
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daycarediva 08:09 AM 04-10-2013
I don't leave my kids with anyone, really. My mother on occassion BUT if I did work outside the home, I would never leave my children with a smoker. As in the other thread, where is the supervision when they go smoke?

I have never been a smoker, and the smell gags me. Even if you smoke outside, even if you douse yourself with body spray, even if you chew gum...nothing hides that odor.
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safechner 08:10 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke but it makes me so SICK! Every time I see someone who smokes and I have to cover my nose before I get through. Yuck! I would never, never put my children in the daycare if someone who smokes. I also never allowed my daughters to be around my husband's father or brother who smokes. It is so gross!!
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KnoxMom 08:22 AM 04-10-2013
I hate smoke. I'm asthmatic and would never leave my children with a smoker. I don't care if they don't smoke in the childcare area; it gets in their clothes, their hair, their skin.. I think it's absolutely gross. Also, for those that smoke in their cars I don't want an emergency to happen where they may need to be transported in a cancer-stick-riddled vehicle. I know I'm over the top with this but the short answer is NO!
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EchoMom 08:26 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I don't think that I would leave my child.. well with any one else (that's why I'm kind of doing this lol)
lol Me too!
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Lianne 08:36 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke but I grew up with a father and then a stepfather who smoked. I wouldn't leave my child with a daycare provider who smoked but I would leave my child, on an occasional basis, with someone who smoked like a grandparent or friend. I would prefer they smoke outside when my child was there but it wouldn't be a hill I'd choose to die on for an occasional visit, either.

ETA that I don't doubt the care provider's ability to care for children whether she smokes or not but I'd rather my child wasn't around cigarrette smoke on a regular basis.
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snowball 08:42 AM 04-10-2013
Ahhhh, I accidentally voted for the wrong one.
Sorry, I skewed your results
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MarinaVanessa 08:58 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke, no one in my household smokes, my friends or family are not allowed to smoke in or around my home and I would not leave my child with someone who smokes.

I grew up in a household where both of my parents were pack-a-day smokers each and everything in the house reeked of smoke ... including me. I hated smelling it all of the time. When we moved (when I was in 3rd grade) to a new home and my mom became pregnant with my sister my mom quit completely and my dad quit during the pregnancy but after her birth began smoking again but only smoked outside away from the house. I could tell where he smoked because that part of the front or back yard smelled of second hand smoke (the chair, the porch beam etc). Eventually my dad quit too and what a difference it made.

Because of my personal feelings and experiences I wouldn't leave my kids with someone who smoked because I would never really know for certain if they were keeping the second hand smoke completely away from the kids. I would worry that on a cigarette break the second hand smoke would still somehow get to the kids through an open doorway or window, through the clothing etc.
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Play Care 09:01 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke (allergic) and pulled my oldest DD from a child care after a week when one day I came to pick up and the provider had her friend over and the friend was smoking on the deck - my baby was not a foot away from her
While it was not the actual provider, I felt it showed extreme poor judgment on the providers part to allow it.
I also grew up in a house where a parent smoked. The house smelled, and we never had any money because of the habit, so I tend to take a hard line when it comes to smoking.
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clep 09:02 AM 04-10-2013
I do not smoke nor does my husband. He used to smoke and even when he smoked outside he wreaked. I complained so much and refused to kiss him. He finally tried one of the e-cigarettes. I was sooooo happy as now he doesn't smell at all, has his fix and doesn't have any health implications. We were even able to list him as a non smoker for our insurance and he used it in the hospital. He was so impressed he started a business selling them and the liquid he makes as well. Live is gooood.
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momofboys 09:06 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke & neither does my DH & I would never leave my kids with a smoker.

About the e-cigarettes, aren't you technically still taking toxic items into your body??? I don't know the details about them but is it not just as bad as smoking/snuff except for the no smell part???
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Meeko 09:07 AM 04-10-2013
I have a few daycare parents who smoke. Even though they don't smoke near my house, I can tell when they have had one in the car.....yuck! I always rush around with the freshener spray the second they walk out the door. They obviously don't have a clue how bad they stink.
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momofboys 09:10 AM 04-10-2013
I got this from a blog about e-cigarettes - interesting :

In the absence of documented test leads to prove e-cigarettes' safety , some experts also point out the propylene glycol, one of many components from the e-liquid that may be potentially harmful. Others are interested in the uncertainty across the actual ingredients from the liquid and raise alarms over the fact that the unregulated e-cigarettes remain mainly stated in China where these were invented in 2003. No protocols and standards exist by yet to be sure the safety of the product. No requirements have been specified to enforce minimum quality standards. Finally, the continued presence of nicotine '" that is an optional ingredient, but is desirable to most users '" also questions the extent of harm reduction. Nicotine is really a proven carcinogenic. Its consumption in different quantity is often a significant health hazard. Moreover, it's highly addicting, with a few studies comparing it to heroin in this connection. Electronic cigarettes contain nicotine in unverified and untested amounts. There were alarming, unconfirmed stories about supposedly nicotine-free e-cigarettes that basically contained the substance
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Patches 09:28 AM 04-10-2013
I answered that I do not smoke and I would leave my child with asmoker as long as they did NOT smoke around the kids or in the house.

P.S.
I used to smoke and quit as soon as I got pregnant with my oldest
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Willow 09:44 AM 04-10-2013
I'd rather leave my child in the care of someone who smokes than with someone who drinks.....

I smoke on occasion. Never before or during daycare hours, usually after my kids are in bed and certainly not around them or in my house.

Of course I'd leave my children in the care of someone who smoked if it had absolutely nothing to do with the time they spent with together.
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NeedaVaca 09:54 AM 04-10-2013
If they aren't smoking during daycare hours I don't think it's any of my business what they do after hours or on weekends.
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Starburst 10:02 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke and If I had kids I wouldn't want them to be watched by someone who smoked mostly because of 3rd hand (the smell it leaves lingering on hair, skin, and clothes long after) and the fact that they would have to leave my child unsupervised to smoke (and if they don't they would be smoking in front of them). So I guess most of my family wont be in charge of babysitting because they all smoke - I think my Nonna and Aunt quit (again); but 2/3 of my cousins, my brother, my dad and his wife (but those two are out of state) all smoke. I hate being around smoke because I have asthma but I actually used to like the smell of it coming off the cigarette (my aunt would light it on the stove in the house and walk it to the front of the house- that alone was addicting). I hate that my 2 cousin's smoke because one has a 4 year old son and every time they go outside to smoke he will try to go outside and he will say "I smoke too?" (he was about 2 1/2 and 3 when that started) and they will sit there and tell him "No baby, smoking is bad for you" but yet would go in the back yard where there is a sliding glass door where he can see them smoking and he would start crying because he wanted his mommy's attention . If kids see you smoking they will try to imitate it; when we were kids we would pretend to smoke with crayons, my brother stole cigarettes from my aunt and our old roommates, and my little cousin now tries to take cigarettes out of his mom and auntie's purses because he wants to smoke like them.

We had roommates who smoked in one house we used to have and I was still in HS so I would go to school everyday and everything would smell like smoke and I would open up my backpack and a breeze that smelled like smoke would come out (and everything inside it smelled like smoke too)! I had teachers who would ask me if I smoked because I could never get the smell out of my hair (I have really thick and coarse hair). If I was out of the house for a few hours and came back a big whiff of smoke would hit the minute you opened the door and make me instantly sick. The whole house reeked and all the bare parts of the white walls were stained (probably what all our lungs looked like too)! I used to have dreams that I smoked but never did in real life. One of them was the daughter of the daycare provider I used to work for and her mom hated that she smoked at first but eventually started smoking with her (they would smoke in the back yard during nap time because they couldn't wait 12 hours for a cigarette).

My Bf doesn't smoke but I just found out he chews tobacco (I'm not really a fan of that either). But we both agreed that when we get married and I start my business no one will be allowed to smoke on our property at any time (in my current city its a law that all daycare properties need to be smoke free 24 hours though I do take a class with provider here that smokes). I am also putting in my contract that smoking on daycare property (including the yard and drive way) would be grounds for termination. And that I do not allow kids to attend for the day if they smell like smoke (or are heavily perfumed for that matter) because of allergies and the health risks of 3rd hand smoke (not to mention I couldn't stand that rotting stale smoke smell for 8+ hours a day).
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:09 AM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke and I do not allow my child (soon to be children) to be in the care of anyone who DOES smoke. Second hand and third hand smoke is very serious so I also don't allow him to visit peoples homes if I know they smoke in them.

The baby will not be held by one of her Aunts unless she changes clothes prior to holding her due to her smoking.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:10 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by KnoxMom:
I hate smoke. I'm asthmatic and would never leave my children with a smoker. I don't care if they don't smoke in the childcare area; it gets in their clothes, their hair, their skin.. I think it's absolutely gross. Also, for those that smoke in their cars I don't want an emergency to happen where they may need to be transported in a cancer-stick-riddled vehicle. I know I'm over the top with this but the short answer is NO!
I feel the exact same way.
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Logged out 10:10 AM 04-10-2013
I logged out so I don't get flamed.

I AM a smoker, I do smoke during daycare hours (outside of course) but it is only if my husband is watching them or if they are napping. I do have family members that smoke, but I wouldn't take my babies there unless they would smoke outside. Now that my kids are much older, I request Grandma smoke outside or in her bedroom away from the kids. They don't go over often because of the smoke.

That being said, I wouldn't pay a day care provider who smokes to watch my kids. UNLESS I knew her before hand or she was upfront and explained how her smoking schedule went.

I know double standard.
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Willow 10:33 AM 04-10-2013
Curious for those who say they would never let someone who ever smoked watch their child....do you also travel by cart and buggy, grow all your own food and live out in the county?

Because vehicle emissions, pesticides, food processing and air pollution is just as bad for you child if not more so than them encountering someone who had a cigarette last Saturday and has showered three times since......kwim?

I get we all have to pick our battles but common sense should rule right?
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Willow 10:34 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by KnoxMom:
I hate smoke. I'm asthmatic and would never leave my children with a smoker. I don't care if they don't smoke in the childcare area; it gets in their clothes, their hair, their skin.. I think it's absolutely gross. Also, for those that smoke in their cars I don't want an emergency to happen where they may need to be transported in a cancer-stick-riddled vehicle. I know I'm over the top with this but the short answer is NO!
You don't think your vehicle IS cancer causing in and of itself?

http://www.empowher.com/cancer/conte...ew-study-finds
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MsLaura529 10:47 AM 04-10-2013
I voted that I don't smoke and I wouldn't send my child to a smoker because, well honestly, I can't stand the smell. I'm not asthmatic or anything, it just makes me nauseas and do not want to have to be smelling that everytime I go into the house.

I'm shocked to hear that some smoke during child care hours ... only because here it is illegal to do so.
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momofboys 10:48 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
Curious for those who say they would never let someone who ever smoked watch their child....do you also travel by cart and buggy, grow all your own food and live out in the county?

Because vehicle emissions, pesticides, food processing and air pollution is just as bad for you child if not more so than them encountering someone who had a cigarette last Saturday and has showered three times since......kwim?

I get we all have to pick our battles but common sense should rule right?
Well I agree we need to pick our battles but honestly I don't know many people who even smoke at all - I have a large family (there were 6 of us kids & all of us are married with kids & kids of kids, when we get together at my sister's home there is easily 35-40 of us) & out of all of us only 1-2 smoke (& never in my sister's home). The difference IMO with smoking is it is something you choose to do & you can also choose to avoid it, I do buy mostly organic fruits/vegies -I can avoid processed foods, common sense to me says avoid smoke at all costs - it stinks, proven to cause cancer & one of my kids is asthmatic so yes common sense says don't go near it! I can't avoid being in cars on a daily basis but I can avoid smoke & second-hand smoke.
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Lyss 10:54 AM 04-10-2013
I guess I'm against the grain on this one too. I don't smoke and I would consider someone that did as a provider (although DD has never been watched by anyone but family), as long as the house/provider doesn't smell like it and is responsible. I personally find chew way more disgusting! My brother does it and its nasty (IMO!), I'd much rather see cigarette butts in an ashtray than dirty a spit bottle!

Its not impossible to have a clean home and smoke. I've had friends that smoke like chimneys but their house, clothes, and children were always clean and free from the smell. I don't think smoking effects their ability to effectively provide a clean environment.

As a kid when I lived with my Dad and stepmom there were 4 adults that lived in our home and all smoked at least a pack a day, inside Our house reeked! I remember kids making fun of me because my clothes stunk like cigarette smoke. That kind of situation, a stinky house or person and/or someone smoking in plain view of my child, I obviously I would have an issue with but that is not all smokers.
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Willow 11:00 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Lyss:
I guess I'm against the grain on this one too. I don't smoke and I would consider someone that did as a provider (although DD has never been watched by anyone but family), as long as the house/provider doesn't smell like it and is responsible. I personally find chew way more disgusting! My brother does it and its nasty (IMO!), I'd much rather see cigarette butts in an ashtray than dirty a spit bottle!

Its not impossible to have a clean home and smoke. I've had friends that smoke like chimneys but their house, clothes, and children were always clean and free from the smell. I don't think smoking effects their ability to effectively provide a clean environment.

As a kid when I lived with my Dad and stepmom there were 4 adults that lived in our home and all smoked at least a pack a day, inside Our house reeked! I remember kids making fun of me because my clothes stunk like cigarette smoke. That kind of situation, a stinky house or person and/or someone smoking in plain view of my child, I obviously I would have an issue with but that is not all smokers.
This is pretty much where I'm at too.

My parents didn't smoke and neither did most of my extended family. The ones that did I was shocked to learn about as I got older because there is no way anyone ever would have known if they wouldn't have shared or had the odd one outside during a family function.
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MyNana23 11:04 AM 04-10-2013
I voted that I wouldn't leave my child with a caregiver who smokes ...I don't smoke and never have and I am aware that there are other emissions, poisons, air pollutants, etc.that are just as bad BUT the reason I wouldn't is because I cannot stand the smell! I can't see how the smell would never get on your child or his/her clothing? I realize that most smokers go outside which in itself would make me a bit nervous to have the children left alone for however long it takes to smoke a cigarette.

My dad smoked for many years and it certainly robbed him of a lot of what could have been better health years...he had a chronic cough, he reeked of smoke 24/7 and he had to have a gross looking growth removed (twice) from his bottom lip that was caused by the cigarettes.

I had a former dcb here whose parents both smoked A LOT but she was insistent on bringing his crib bedding since she washed it in special baby soap...the first day she brought them, I had to wash them because the smoke smell permeated the whole house! My dh and I couldn't stand the smell let alone attempt to sleep on the same floor as the cribs were located...made me gag..I don't know for sure if the heavy smoking attributed to his early death, but that dad passed away very suddenly at age 45 from a heart attack and left his wife and 14 year old son alone..

A year and a half ago, another former dcd passed away very suddenly from a heart attack...he was only 42 years old and a very heavy smoker...he left behind 2 year old twins, a 6 year old and a 10 year old...pretty sad...

I don't care what people do to themselves but if I had the choice, I would certainly shy away from being in a smoking household or leaving my child (or even a pet) in one...
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Lavender 11:10 AM 04-10-2013
I watched my Grandma die a long, painful death from emphysema caused by cigarette smoke. It was second-hand smoke, she was not the smoker. I would never let my child be cared for by a smoker. The biggest reason why is that I don't ever want my kids to look at it and feel like it is a normal thing to do. Even if they don't see the person smoke, the smell left behind on their clothes, hair, skin etc. is unmistakeable.

On a related note, we have a child in our room who has parents that smoke. Sometimes he comes in smelling so horrible we have to wipe him down and change his clothes just to care for him. When they used to take his blanket home each night it would sometimes come in smelling so badly it went right into the wash. This baby was a 26 week old preemie and is constantly sick. I just don't get it.
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Willow 11:44 AM 04-10-2013
I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the care of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?

Do you all think because someone has a glass of wine once in awhile that too is doomed to affect the children in ones care?

I've never understood the "grab your pitchforks" mentality when it comes to smokers when there are plenty of other just as dangerous and deadly vices people practive literally multiple times a day.


Prospective patents are always shocked at interview time to learn that I have pets (loads) and that I smoke on rare occasion because there is no evidence of either. And every interview I've ever done regardless of those admissions still has resulted in a request for admittance.
Why? Probably because it would be silly to make a decision on that one factor alone.

I get that we've all known people who reek to high heaven for whatever reason and yes, that's incredibly unpleasant. But to paint everyone with the same brush? Frankly, I think some of you need to unwad your panties and relax, especially if you're exposing your child to toxins just as bad and regularly.


(Threads like this just drive me nuts because they always come off as soo judgy mcjudgerson.....)
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youretooloud 11:54 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the care of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?

Do you all think because someone has a glass of wine once in awhile that too is doomed to affect the children in ones care?

I've never understood the "grab your pitchforks" mentality when it comes to smokers when there are plenty of other just as dangerous and deadly vices people practive literally multiple times a day.

Well, second and third hand smoke is actually dangerous to the kids. They smell offensive. But, my reason for asking was if they don't smoke around the kids, where are they going to smoke? When? And who's watching the kids?

In the earlier thread, the child needed stitches because the provider went outside the house to have a cigarette.
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Lyss 11:54 AM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Well, second and third hand smoke is actually dangerous to the kids. They smell offensive. But, my reason for asking was if they don't smoke around the kids, where are they going to smoke? When? And who's watching the kids?

In the earlier thread, the child needed stitches because the provider went outside the house to have a cigarette.
One misguided providers mistake (of many from what I got out of that thread) does not mean all smokers would do this.

Originally Posted by Lavender:
I watched my Grandma die a long, painful death from emphysema caused by cigarette smoke. It was second-hand smoke, she was not the smoker. I would never let my child be cared for by a smoker. The biggest reason why is that I don't ever want my kids to look at it and feel like it is a normal thing to do. Even if they don't see the person smoke, the smell left behind on their clothes, hair, skin etc. is unmistakeable.

On a related note, we have a child in our room who has parents that smoke. Sometimes he comes in smelling so horrible we have to wipe him down and change his clothes just to care for him. When they used to take his blanket home each night it would sometimes come in smelling so badly it went right into the wash. This baby was a 26 week old preemie and is constantly sick. I just don't get it.
I'm sorry that your grandma had to go suffer like that. No one wants to see someone in pain and deteriorating because of something they were exposed to.

I do think some of the older community members suffering (not saying this is your grandmother's case, but in general) because of second hand smoke exposure can be linked to a generational thing. Everyone smoked for a period of time, it was all over tv, ads, movies... no one stepped outside or washed up after, they smoked indoors (holding babies ) and as much as they wanted. There were no warning labels (until the late 60s), long term studies, or concerns over second hand smoke. We recently watched Pinocchio and a bunch of the characters smoked (even Pinocchio at one point!). I'm not saying that makes it ok, but it was just a different era. I wonder what were doing now that will be hazardous in the future.
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Play Care 12:08 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the Cate of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?

Do you all think because someone has a glass of wine once in awhile that too is doomed to affect the children in ones care?

I've never understood the "grab your pitchforks" mentality when it comes to smokers when there are plenty of other just as dangerous and deadly vices people practive literally multiple times a day.

Actually YES. We passed on a provider when we were looking because her health had a clear impact on the quality of care. She could barely get up off the floor, much less chase the kids around. She wound up retiring from day care shortly after, but I have heard that most of her parents left because she physically couldn't do the job.
I never understood the argument that drinking is somehow worse than smoking and I say this as the child of an alcoholic smoker. Drinking done excessively is worse, sure. But a glass of good red wine on occasion has actual health benefits, the same can not be said for smoking. Would I want/allow someone who I knew had a problem drinking watching my child? Certainly not. My expectations are that no caregiver would drink while caring for my child. But I wouldn't mind if they were to have a drink on the weekend.

And I do take steps to reduce vehicle use - we walk everywhere! We buy local as often as possible, recycle, etc. I'm certainly no superhero, but I try.
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NeedaVaca 12:14 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I don't smoke and I do not allow my child (soon to be children) to be in the care of anyone who DOES smoke. Second hand and third hand smoke is very serious so I also don't allow him to visit peoples homes if I know they smoke in them.

The baby will not be held by one of her Aunts unless she changes clothes prior to holding her due to her smoking.
My grandpa smoked in his house and let me tell you...it reeked. When he was 84 he was diagnosed with cancer and yes, I took my kids there to visit with him because I wanted them to spend time with him before he passed. I have no regrets because I feel family is so important. Yes, they may have been exposed to 2nd had smoke for a short time but spending time with a family member before they passed trumped that in a heartbeat.
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Willow 12:15 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Well, second and third hand smoke is actually dangerous to the kids. They smell offensive. But, my reason for asking was if they don't smoke around the kids, where are they going to smoke? When? And who's watching the kids?

In the earlier thread, the child needed stitches because the provider went outside the house to have a cigarette.
I think it's pretty safe to assume if someone doesn't feed themselves properly that they're probably not going to feed the children in their care much better. And that's not dangerous to a child? Not that I share the sentiment but many people believe being overweight is offensive to the eyes (I don't care about others but looking in the mirror and being offended by what I see is the main reason I try to eat well and stay fit).

Weight affects mobility, strength, and I've tripped over and bumped into a child many times before. At the weight I am those knocks are hard enough, to weigh twice as much though? Or even more? If a child runs off, or there's a fire in the house is someone that size going to be able to get themselves out safely much less other little people? Are they going to physically be able to keep up with a darting toddler?

That's where I'm coming from with that.

As to your questions they've already been answered. My having a cigarette on the weekend not around anyone else's children or my own, outside, showering the next day...has many here automatically saying no way. You're gross. Your house is gross. You stink and have no clue. You are dangerous and should not be watching children. Filthy. Disgusting n all that jive....

The way you stated your first option *NEVER* means anyone in my view. And the comments following indicate even if your father smoked a cigar once the day you were born would lead you to believe he was unfit. There is obviously no grey area here and I find that odd based on how many other concessions we make in our lives for equally as unhealthy habits.
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mema 12:16 PM 04-10-2013
I am a night time smoker. I quit when I was pregnant. My children are older and have NO idea that I smoke. 99% of my family has no idea. The ones that do are because I chose to tell them. I always wear the same clothes and jacket and always am outside away from the house. I go out at night before my shower. I do not smoke during the day-never have, even when I had a job that allowed me to leave on lunch break. I take that back. I did smoke during the day in high school at lunch time. Every vacation we have ever taken, I didn't smoke. One was 10 days. Not sure why I only do it at night and it's not every night.
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Willow 12:25 PM 04-10-2013
Playcare -if the expectation/assumption would be that your drinking provider would not drink while in charge of other kids, why would it or should that opposite for those who smoke?

If you trust the provider wouldn't partake in either during care hours, nor is there any evidence of either, should it really matter what the provider does on their own time?

(Thank you for sharing about the provider you turned down. I've had a physical once at initial licensing and have never been asked about my health again. I wonder how often health status changes and providers just keep on trucking even though their abilities and clearly and seriously compromised...)
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Crazy In Mo 12:30 PM 04-10-2013
I'm a night time smoker! And I'm ready for 5:30

I don't smoke in my home or vehicle. OR during work hours. I'd say 1/2 of my daycare parents know I smoke. And they knew before they chose me for daycare. I also drink wine at night
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Willow 12:30 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by mema:
I am a night time smoker. I quit when I was pregnant. My children are older and have NO idea that I smoke. 99% of my family has no idea. The ones that do are because I chose to tell them. I always wear the same clothes and jacket and always am outside away from the house. I go out at night before my shower. I do not smoke during the day-never have, even when I had a job that allowed me to leave on lunch break. I take that back. I did smoke during the day in high school at lunch time. Every vacation we have ever taken, I didn't smoke. One was 10 days. Not sure why I only do it at night and it's not every night.
This is me in a nutshell.

I can take it or leave it when I need or want to. It's just something that every once in awhile hits the spot.

I started when going through my divorce and my own mother didn't have a clue until I told her about it last year. She's never smoked and always buries her head in my long hair when we hug.

At first she thought I was just trying to get a rise out of her :P
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youretooloud 12:34 PM 04-10-2013
Along the lines of weight.

I have a grandparent who picks up the kids on occasion. She is in extremely poor health and at least 150lbs overweight. She is unable to walk the 15 feet to my door to pick up the kids...so, she parks in my driveway. (which is never O.K) She is unable to lift either one of her grandkids into the car. I have to go outside with all the kids to help her put her grandkids in the car. I don't mind, it's very rare.

However, she is a head start teacher. She doesn't teach alone, but still...if she is unable to walk 15 feet from her vehicle to my front door without serious pain and needing help, why is she teaching preschool? Wouldn't the kids be in danger if there were an emergency? Can she help the kids if something terrible were to happen?
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Lavender 12:37 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the care of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?

Do you all think because someone has a glass of wine once in awhile that too is doomed to affect the children in ones care?

I've never understood the "grab your pitchforks" mentality when it comes to smokers when there are plenty of other just as dangerous and deadly vices people practive literally multiple times a day.


Prospective patents are always shocked at interview time to learn that I have pets (loads) and that I smoke on rare occasion because there is no evidence of either. And every interview I've ever done regardless of those admissions still has resulted in a request for admittance.
Why? Probably because it would be silly to make a decision on that one factor alone.

I get that we've all known people who reek to high heaven for whatever reason and yes, that's incredibly unpleasant. But to paint everyone with the same brush? Frankly, I think some of you need to unwad your panties and relax, especially if you're exposing your child to toxins just as bad and regularly.


(Threads like this just drive me nuts because they always come off as soo judgy mcjudgerson.....)
My panties are firmly unwadded but I should clarify that to me there is a difference between a smoker and someone who very occasionally smokes just as there is a difference between a drinker and someone who drinks occasionally. I do not drink at all (tastes gross to me) but my husband has a hard cider once or twice a month. I don't care if my kids see people they know and love have a drink responsibly now and then. I don't want to be in a position in which I feel like I am endorsing a true drinker in their presence (such as paying them to watch my child). Now my brother-in-law smokes but when he does so at our home he goes out for a walk. He does not smoke so often that his clothes reek. He tells them it is unhealthy and not a good habit. I would not pay someone to care for my child who needed to smoke during the time my child was in their care or before they arrived and they smell was at all evident. I'm just not okay with it due to my own personal life experiences. I felt like I watched my grandmother slowly suffocate to death and I don't want that for my children. I DON'T want them to be smokers. I can't make them not be smokers, but I really hope they aren't. I would fear everyday that they would someday go through what I saw my Grandma go through.
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Starburst 12:40 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the care of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?
I am technically obese but I am healthier than some of the thinner people I know because I walk regularly and try to eat relatively healthy and I was overweight my whole life but they can eat what ever they want, sometimes more and even unhealthier food than I can stomach and never gain a pound. I actually had a doctor tell me because of my bone structure and my body shape (I am a pear) that my goal weight should be a little above what the ideal weight is for my height because if I was in the normal range I would look very gaunt and unhealthy. Just because you are thin does not mean you are healthy, I had a friend that used to weigh 300+ pounds and she was probably healthier at that point than when she was a normal weight (weigh loss surgery), I new many people who thought she was prettier fat and healthier and she looked old and unhealthy at a normal weight. She even told me one time that she wishes she was still fat.

Obesity is also not as black and white as smoking because its usually defined by BMI (or a generalization of direct weight) which doesn't always take into account muscle mass or how fat is distributed around your body (how much is in the breast and hips?). Also the part of obesity that puts you at more risk is how big your waist size is (more than 35 inches for women; more than 40 inches for men) and your body shape (apples {people who gain most weight in their midsection} are more prone to heart problems then pears {people who gain most weight in their hips and thighs}). Hip-to-waist ratios calculators are more accurate than BMIs because they actually take your shape and weight distribution into consideration. http://www.healthstatus.com/calculat...t-to-hip-ratio.

Another thing is there are some health issues that cause obesity. I was a normal weight baby but I was diagnosed with asthma at 1 month old, I had a bad asthma attack and had to be given progestin which caused me to balloon up even after I stopped taking it my weight never went away; my brother always eats potatoes and drinks sodas all the time (I gave up soda over 10 years ago); he also eats us out of house and home every time he comes over but never gains a pound. My boyfriend also has asthma and his mother told me that he was really thin as a younger kid but eventually gained lots of weight around middle school after having to take lots of asthma medication (they have steroids in them that can cause weight issues). Some of those medications cause you to not only swell but also increase your appetite making it harder to loose the weight after the fact.

But yes, if some one was SEVERLY MORBIDLY OBESE (like over 350 lbs) and I could tell that they did not have the physical ability to hold a baby or chase a baby around then I probably wouldn't leave them alone to watch my future child out of fear that they could not get to my child or help them in case of an emergency. But most people who are that overweight cannot even work or just choose less active careers.
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Willow 12:45 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Along the lines of weight.

I have a grandparent who picks up the kids on occasion. She is in extremely poor health and at least 150lbs overweight. She is unable to walk the 15 feet to my door to pick up the kids...so, she parks in my driveway. (which is never O.K) She is unable to lift either one of her grandkids into the car. I have to go outside with all the kids to help her put her grandkids in the car. I don't mind, it's very rare.

However, she is a head start teacher. She doesn't teach alone, but still...if she is unable to walk 15 feet from her vehicle to my front door without serious pain and needing help, why is she teaching preschool? Wouldn't the kids be in danger if there were an emergency? Can she help the kids if something terrible were to happen?
That's exactly where my brain wandered off to with this topic....only difference I see is a provider can keep the "danger" at bay while someone disabled by their weight can't just remove those limitations.


One of my families the uncle will pick up on occasion. He is pretty significantly disabled due to having been born with spina bifida. When he comes he'll usually just honk the horn because navigating the stairs is challenge enough, much less trying to navigate them with an infant and toddler in tow. He watches them often and I wonder how he goes about just feeding them much less, God forbid, if there was ever any sort of emergency. Don't get me wrong, he's a fantastic guy and he adores the girls but....I just don't know if I would feel comfortable with a similar arrangement for my own kids.....
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Willow 12:59 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Lavender:
My panties are firmly unwadded but I should clarify that to me there is a difference between a smoker and someone who very occasionally smokes just as there is a difference between a drinker and someone who drinks occasionally. I do not drink at all (tastes gross to me) but my husband has a hard cider once or twice a month. I don't care if my kids see people they know and love have a drink responsibly now and then. I don't want to be in a position in which I feel like I am endorsing a true drinker in their presence (such as paying them to watch my child). Now my brother-in-law smokes but when he does so at our home he goes out for a walk. He does not smoke so often that his clothes reek. He tells them it is unhealthy and not a good habit. I would not pay someone to care for my child who needed to smoke during the time my child was in their care or before they arrived and they smell was at all evident. I'm just not okay with it due to my own personal life experiences. I felt like I watched my grandmother slowly suffocate to death and I don't want that for my children. I DON'T want them to be smokers. I can't make them not be smokers, but I really hope they aren't. I would fear everyday that they would someday go through what I saw my Grandma go through.
I COMPLETELY agree with this.

And it's totally the gray area I was talking about
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Jewels 01:02 PM 04-10-2013
I would never leave my kid at a daycare of someone who smokes, I just feel as I used to be a smoker before having children, that a Provider who can't smoke whenever she gets stressed would get to frustrated, and vice versa, when they did get frustrated would need to have a smoke.
Now all my and my DH family are smokers, so when they are at grandparents, they are around smoke at some point or another, but thats not often. And they are family.
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allsmiles 01:09 PM 04-10-2013
i dont smoke, but would leave my child with a smoker.. i just feel its their choice and as long as they supervise my child adequately and my child doesnt reek of smoke when i pick them up..
i have an assistant who smokes..and i did have to ask her to cut down on her smoke breaks so i can see where u guys are coming from where supervision could be an issue if you really dont know how much the person smokes??
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Play Care 01:09 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
Playcare -if the expectation/assumption would be that your drinking provider would not drink while in charge of other kids, why would it or should that opposite for those who smoke?

If you trust the provider wouldn't partake in either during care hours, nor is there any evidence of either, should it really matter what the provider does on their own time?

(Thank you for sharing about the provider you turned down. I've had a physical once at initial licensing and have never been asked about my health again. I wonder how often health status changes and providers just keep on trucking even though their abilities and clearly and seriously compromised...)
I guess I'm operating off the first thread which was that the provider was smoking during care which was how/when the child was injured. I also posted about my own personal experience with smoking during child care with my own child (in my case it was the providers friend). I honestly find that the majority of smokers can not help themselves from doing it multiple times per day (the nature of the beast). If someone truly only smoked after hours/weekends (or only when they drink ) then I completely agree that it would be none of my business.
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LoraJenkins 01:13 PM 04-10-2013
I DO smoke....but NEVER inside my home...NEVER! And I would not want my children with some one who smokes in their home. I also drink wine and sometimes LITs or limocello after hours 3 or 4 night a week. I'm SOOOOO bad.....lol
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Lyss 01:21 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by LoraJenkins:
I DO smoke....but NEVER inside my home...NEVER! And I would not want my children with some one who smokes in their home. I also drink wine and sometimes LITs or limocello after hours 3 or 4 night a week. I'm SOOOOO bad.....lol


This thread reminds me of another one from awhile back along the lines of what we do that the parents don't know about or expect from us. It tired to find it but couldn't seem to. If I remember right there were many things listed, maybe not all of the the DCPs would be ok with some of those things ("She drinks wine at night!? " ) but then again it doesn't affect the kids or the care provided (hopefully ) right? If a provider and her house are clean and smell free and she steps away or does it after hours what does it matter?
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Country Kids 01:27 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Lyss:


This thread reminds me of another one from awhile back along the lines of what we do that the parents don't know about or expect from us. It tired to find it but couldn't seem to. If I remember right there were many things listed, maybe not all of the the DCPs would be ok with some of those things ("She drinks wine at night!? " ) but then again it doesn't affect the kids or the care provided (hopefully ) right? If a provider and her house are clean and smell free and she steps away or does it after hours what does it matter?

Lyss,

I don't even think we can smoke (I don't, never have) during childcare hours-can we?

I'm going to go look that up.
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Lyss 01:36 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Lyss,
I don't even think we can smoke (I don't, never have) during childcare hours-can we?
I'm going to go look that up.
I don't smoke either so I'm not sure, I'd guess no though. I was just meaning in situations where it is a possibility that it was allowed and it was kept separate, what would people's opinions on that be? or how would they feel if they found out that in fact the provider that they thought didn't smoke (or whatever other issues/behaviors they might have issue with for that matter) actually did after hours
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Country Kids 01:40 PM 04-10-2013
This thread has me had me thinking of what is a smoker and what does a person define that as.

When you hear of a smoker most people think of cigerettes but there are all types: cigerettes/cloves/cigars/pipes/those things that have all the pipes out of them/marijuanna


In Washington state you now can smoke recreational marijuanna legally just not in public (stores, restaurants).

So would you leave your child with someone (provider/babysitter/anyone watching your child out of your presence) that smoke marijuanna if it became legal in your state as recreational.

Someone that smoked any of the above besides cigerrettes?
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allsmiles 01:52 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I guess I'm operating off the first thread which was that the provider was smoking during care which was how/when the child was injured. I also posted about my own personal experience with smoking during child care with my own child (in my case it was the providers friend). I honestly find that the majority of smokers can not help themselves from doing it multiple times per day (the nature of the beast). If someone truly only smoked after hours/weekends (or only when they drink ) then I completely agree that it would be none of my business.
exactly this..

i took on my assistant KNOWING they smoked.. BUT i had no idea how often. Who is gonna tell you at an interview for you to keep their children that they smoke every 2 hours LOL.. so i guess i can see why some ppl might not want to consider a smoker as a provider because they dont want to risk it..but some ppl are not gonna mind so i guess it all balances out..LOL
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EntropyControlSpecialist 01:56 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
Curious for those who say they would never let someone who ever smoked watch their child....do you also travel by cart and buggy, grow all your own food and live out in the county?

Because vehicle emissions, pesticides, food processing and air pollution is just as bad for you child if not more so than them encountering someone who had a cigarette last Saturday and has showered three times since......kwim?

I get we all have to pick our battles but common sense should rule right?
This isn't an all or nothing thing. I DO feed MY children organic food. I DO live in a community that's outside of "the big city." I DO use and only let my children use products that are natural/organic.
Even if I did participate in/use all of the things you described, why should I subject my child to toxic substances that they would not have encountered had I chosen not to expose them???? Your logic isn't making any sense to me.


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LoraJenkins 01:59 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Lyss,

I don't even think we can smoke (I don't, never have) during childcare hours-can we?

I'm going to go look that up.
I do not have a cigarette during the day unless my daughter (who is 19) or husband are home to watch the children. Then I quickly go outside ( watching through the front window) and have one. All of my DCPs are smokers so it isn't an issue. And since the children are always supervised by an adult I have had no issues with inspections over it.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 01:59 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the care of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?

Do you all think because someone has a glass of wine once in awhile that too is doomed to affect the children in ones care?

I've never understood the "grab your pitchforks" mentality when it comes to smokers when there are plenty of other just as dangerous and deadly vices people practive literally multiple times a day.


Prospective patents are always shocked at interview time to learn that I have pets (loads) and that I smoke on rare occasion because there is no evidence of either. And every interview I've ever done regardless of those admissions still has resulted in a request for admittance.
Why? Probably because it would be silly to make a decision on that one factor alone.

I get that we've all known people who reek to high heaven for whatever reason and yes, that's incredibly unpleasant. But to paint everyone with the same brush? Frankly, I think some of you need to unwad your panties and relax, especially if you're exposing your child to toxins just as bad and regularly.


(Threads like this just drive me nuts because they always come off as soo judgy mcjudgerson.....)
I'd be less likely to chose an overweight provider, yes.

A glass of wine once in awhile? That wouldn't bother me. You having one glass of wine at night while my child is not present wouldn't have any impact on my child's health whatsoever. There aren't any "lingering fumes" from a glass of wine that are poisonous.

You get to have your opinions on how to raise your children to the best of your ability, as do I.
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mamac 02:12 PM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke and wouldn't send my kids to a dc where they smoked. I won't stay anywhere there is a smoke filled room. I even have a hard time being around people with "third-hand" smoke clinging to their clothes.

My in-laws are no longer a part of their grandchildren's lives because dh and I refused to keep going over their house because of the smell. You could almost walk in a cut a block of smoke out of the air it was so thick.
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mrsp'slilpeeps 02:21 PM 04-10-2013
Me and my husband quit smoking 6 months ago.

Im still on the fence about leaving my own kids with someone who does, now that we have quit, but I have a hard time leaving them with anyone.

None of my daycare parents have ever mentioned that they could smell it or not, although im sure they could.

I can now tell which parent smokes and which doesn't.!!

It stinks, and we cant belive the money we NOW have because we quit.
Im still struggling with my emotions and Im hoping to feel a lot better mentally soon.
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Blackcat31 02:28 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
Me and my husband quit smoking 6 months ago.

Im still on the fence about leaving my own kids with someone who does, now that we have quit, but I have a hard time leaving them with anyone.

None of my daycare parents have ever mentioned that they could smell it or not, although im sure they could.

I can now tell which parent smokes and which doesn't.!!

It stinks, and we cant belive the money we NOW have because we quit.
Im still struggling with my emotions and Im hoping to feel a lot better mentally soon.
Good job for quitting! You will definitely "feel" it in more places than your pocket book.

My DH quit smoking 6 years ago. He was a 3 pack a day smoker and had been smoking since he was 12 years old.

He quit cold turkey.

Now that he no longer smokes, I am amazed at how badly people who do smoke smell....even the ones who don't think they do.

I guess I had just gotten so used to it, that I never noticed how bad it really was.

FWIW~ My DH never smoked near our own children, in a vehicle or on the daycare property.
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allsmiles 02:28 PM 04-10-2013
congrats and good luck with the transition!
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NeedaVaca 02:35 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by mamac:
I don't smoke and wouldn't send my kids to a dc where they smoked. I won't stay anywhere there is a smoke filled room. I even have a hard time being around people with "third-hand" smoke clinging to their clothes.

My in-laws are no longer a part of their grandchildren's lives because dh and I refused to keep going over their house because of the smell. You could almost walk in a cut a block of smoke out of the air it was so thick.
I find this to be very sad. Couldn't you have come to an agreement and met them elsewhere or invited them to your house? To deprive children of their grandparents over this seems extreme and one day the grandchildren could be devastated not having a relationship with them.
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AfterSchoolMom 02:52 PM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke, and I wouldn't send my kids to a provider who smoked, but it's because the smell of smoke gives me headaches. I can't even walk past someone who is smoking outside (and it's really annoying, btw, when people sit or stand RIGHT OUTSIDE a doorway and smoke so that you have to walk through their cloud to get in or out) without feeling it come on.

My Mom recently started smoking again after 15 years. She never smokes inside her house or car. However, now, every time the kids stay with her, they come back reeking of smoke. I had to air out my son's pack and play for a week after the last time. They probably won't be going back for awhile.

It's not meant to be a judgement on anyone's choices, health, etc....just the simple fact that it causes me pain.
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Kaddidle Care 02:55 PM 04-10-2013
I don't smoke - I would and have left my child with a relative that smokes - not very often but she doesn't smoke in her house.

On a daily basis - like a child care provider - no way.
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youretooloud 03:04 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
This thread has me had me thinking of what is a smoker and what does a person define that as.

When you hear of a smoker most people think of cigerettes but there are all types: cigerettes/cloves/cigars/pipes/those things that have all the pipes out of them/marijuanna


In Washington state you now can smoke recreational marijuanna legally just not in public (stores, restaurants).

So would you leave your child with someone (provider/babysitter/anyone watching your child out of your presence) that smoke marijuanna if it became legal in your state as recreational.

Someone that smoked any of the above besides cigerrettes?
A true smoker will take smoking breaks through the day. They rarely just "smoke occasionally", and if they do, they aren't really smokers. They just light up every now and then.

If they are smoking pot during the day, or drinking rum during the day, while they have kids in their care, they should not be responsible for children. Even if it's legal.

I have known smokers all my life. I've worked with them. Just walk past the break table outside of Walmart, or out in front of Walgreens, and the employees are outside smoking. So, if a real smoker could get through an enitre daycare day without going outside to smoke, then so could those employees at Walgreens. Their shift is probably shorter than a daycare provider...so, why does Walmart and Walgreens allow it? Because they NEED to go out and smoke. So, it stands to reason, that the providers do also.

It's not like providers have superhuman powers. So, a TRUE smoker who says they don't smoke during daycare hours is lying. Or they aren't really dedicated to smoking, and should probably quit.
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Blackcat31 03:14 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
A true smoker will take smoking breaks through the day. They rarely just "smoke occasionally", and if they do, they aren't really smokers. They just light up every now and then.

If they are smoking pot during the day, or drinking rum during the day, while they have kids in their care, they should not be responsible for children. Even if it's legal.

I have known smokers all my life. I've worked with them. Just walk past the break table outside of Walmart, or out in front of Walgreens, and the employees are outside smoking. So, if a real smoker could get through an enitre daycare day without going outside to smoke, then so could those employees at Walgreens. Their shift is probably shorter than a daycare provider...so, why does Walmart and Walgreens allow it? Because they NEED to go out and smoke. So, it stands to reason, that the providers do also.

It's not like providers have superhuman powers. So, a TRUE smoker who says they don't smoke during daycare hours is lying. Or they aren't really dedicated to smoking, and should probably quit.
I understand and agree with you except your definition of a real or true smoker.

My Dr says that anyone who smokes, whether it be 3-5 cigarettes per week or 3-5 packs per week IS a smoker.

Emphysema and other smoker-related illnesses and afflictions don't segregate or exclude based on the # of cigarettes a person smokes.

My mother was an evening smoker and NEVER ever smoked during the day. Yet somehow, she still managed to smoke several packs per week.

My DH smoked several packs over the course of a day...first one in his mouth before his feet hardly touched the ground in the morning.

I would consider BOTH of them smokers. (although DH has since quit.)
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mamac 07:34 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I find this to be very sad. Couldn't you have come to an agreement and met them elsewhere or invited them to your house? To deprive children of their grandparents over this seems extreme and one day the grandchildren could be devastated not having a relationship with them.
Believe me, we have TRIED. It wasn't our decision. It was theirs. They were invited over many times but were always "too busy" or "didn't feel like it" because they felt that if their house wasn't good enough for us to go to then they didn't want to come here. I truly wish that my kids could visit them because they really had a lot of fun and my in-laws would actually play with the boys.

My dh and I moved back home from FL in preparation of having kids because we wanted them to have an extended family, instead of knowing grandma and grandpa as a name on a birthday card that was mailed to them once a year. I never got the opportunity to know my grandparents so this was something I truly wanted for my boys. We obviously knew they were smokers and we told them before I got pregnant that this was a very serious issue for us and they promised to quit time and time again. We understood how hard it was so rather than fight it, we offered to go to dinner, the park, our house... where ever. They're just the type to hold a grudge.

The last straw came last month when my dh and I decided to have a small party for my ds's 3rd birthday. Just me, dh, and ods with a lot of balloons and a special trip to the movies. We had a BLAST. MIL called and accused us of treating ds like $hi+ because we weren't having a party for him and saying we weren't good parents. Mind you we hadn't heard from her since we decided to accept her invite for Christmas dinner. We actually had a good time and we also never once mentioned the smoking, which wasn't an easy thing to do. They both chain smoked with the windows closed. Everyone's eyes would start burning and you could actually taste the nicotine/smoke if you licked your lips.

So yeah- I agree with you. It is a very sad situation and I wish my boys didn't have to pay the price.
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Starburst 08:01 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by mamac:
Believe me, we have TRIED. It wasn't our decision. It was theirs. They were invited over many times but were always "too busy" or "didn't feel like it" because they felt that if their house wasn't good enough for us to go to then they didn't want to come here. I truly wish that my kids could visit them because they really had a lot of fun and my in-laws would actually play with the boys.

My dh and I moved back home from FL in preparation of having kids because we wanted them to have an extended family, instead of knowing grandma and grandpa as a name on a birthday card that was mailed to them once a year. I never got the opportunity to know my grandparents so this was something I truly wanted for my boys. We obviously knew they were smokers and we told them before I got pregnant that this was a very serious issue for us and they promised to quit time and time again. We understood how hard it was so rather than fight it, we offered to go to dinner, the park, our house... where ever. They're just the type to hold a grudge.

The last straw came last month when my dh and I decided to have a small party for my ds's 3rd birthday. Just me, dh, and ods with a lot of balloons and a special trip to the movies. We had a BLAST. MIL called and accused us of treating ds like $hi+ because we weren't having a party for him and saying we weren't good parents. Mind you we hadn't heard from her since we decided to accept her invite for Christmas dinner. We actually had a good time and we also never once mentioned the smoking, which wasn't an easy thing to do. They both chain smoked with the windows closed. Everyone's eyes would start burning and you could actually taste the nicotine/smoke if you licked your lips.

So yeah- I agree with you. It is a very sad situation and I wish my boys didn't have to pay the price.
I agree with you. It's a two way street. They are grown ups and they made their choice. They are your kids and you don't want them exposed to a toxic environment. If they really cared, they would at least try to make an effort to smoke out of the house (at least out the window) or try to avoid smoking in front of them.
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Play Care 03:11 AM 04-11-2013
It's not only about second/third hand smoke but the risk of unintentional injury caused by cigarettes. Growing up I, and my siblings were all burned at least once by a cigarette butt.
For a provider who is in their doorway having a smoke break (or on their back deck while children are playing in the yard) the risk of a child running by unexpectedly and being burned is just too big a risk.
Anytime I've ever had coworkers who smoked, it seemed like they had breaks every hour or two to smoke while the rest of us were limited to our allowed two breaks plus lunch.
If a provider is a smoker I do think it should be after hours only, because even at say, quiet time, the risk of a child getting up unexpectedly is too great.
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AmyKidsCo 08:10 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I don't smoke, no one in my household smokes, my friends or family are not allowed to smoke in or around my home and I would not leave my child with someone who smokes.
Ditto. My father in law smokes, but only outside. Because of WI licensing rules he can't smoke on our property so he has to go for a walk or stand on the neighbor's sidewalk for his smokes.
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Childminder 08:56 AM 04-11-2013
I used to smoke. Day care parents say they never knew. If I had a provider that was as respectful to others as I was I would leave my children with him or her.
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Meeko 07:13 AM 04-19-2013
It's the smell more than anything for me. Most smokers THINK they don't smell because they shower, use cologne etc and feel clean. They are so used to it, they can't tell.

It breaks my heart when I have kids in care, who smell like smokers themselves because of their clothes. The clothes may LOOK clean, but the smell permeates the fibers. Their hair smells bad too.

And it's ALWAYS the smokers kids who have continuous nagging coughs.

I am so sensitive to it, that even having a smoker stand in my doorway (not even actually smoking....that is not allowed) for a few minutes picking up a child, makes my whole house stink simply from their clothing and hair.

They maybe the nicest people in the world, but I can't stomach the smell.
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clep 08:47 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by momofboys:
I don't smoke & neither does my DH & I would never leave my kids with a smoker.

About the e-cigarettes, aren't you technically still taking toxic items into your body??? I don't know the details about them but is it not just as bad as smoking/snuff except for the no smell part???
No. My husband makes the liquid and it is pure food grade vegetable glycerin and food grade flavoring. Some people use propeylene glycol in theirs.....that's where the problem starts.
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Willow 08:59 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I understand and agree with you except your definition of a real or true smoker.

My Dr says that anyone who smokes, whether it be 3-5 cigarettes per week or 3-5 packs per week IS a smoker.

Emphysema and other smoker-related illnesses and afflictions don't segregate or exclude based on the # of cigarettes a person smokes.

My mother was an evening smoker and NEVER ever smoked during the day. Yet somehow, she still managed to smoke several packs per week.

My DH smoked several packs over the course of a day...first one in his mouth before his feet hardly touched the ground in the morning.

I would consider BOTH of them smokers. (although DH has since quit.)
I'm totally going to elaborate what you said here just for slow morning and boredom's sake lol

In November 2011 I contracted what I thought was the worst cold I'd ever had in my life. I had been bow hunting since September and by the time gun season rolled around I went and sat in stand for the day and nearly tipped over on the way out. I went in and initially they told me I had some sort of a viral infection that would pass. A couple of weeks later I was much worse (on the verge of being hospitalized) so they did a lung x-ray. On it were 4 "shadows" that warranted a same day trip down to St. Cloud for a CT scan and meeting with a top notch pulmonologist (lung doctor). After the CT scan more shadows and nodules were easily detected. He said I had two options, do a pretty invasive wash of my lungs to test the fluid and if it showed anything then he'd knock out a biopsy that night yet, or wait. I asked him to explain the pros and cons of both and he immediately whipped out a computer program developed for use in weighing odds in a situation like this. When he asked if I was a smoker I asked him to define the term. He told me if I had to ask I probably was. In the spirit of full disclosure I shared that my very most I smoked a cigarette a night, so maybe 7 a week? He asked what I smoke right now, I told him maybe 3 a week, if that, near hysterics at that point because I was just terrified.... To my shock(and semi-horror) he laughed to lighten the mood and then asked if I drove there. I told him yes, and he shared with me the emissions from my vehicle and all the vehicles around me on my journey I was exposed to for that length of time well outweighed anything I put into my body with those three cigarettes a week. He confirmed cigarettes are horrible and do horrific things to our bodies, but so are many MANY of the other things we inhale every single day that do the exact same thing......vehicle emissions, air pollution, fumes from cleaning supplies, even the non-stick coating on pots and pans release toxins into the air and explained they alone can kill household birds.

He told me while I should quit because it would be easy enough to knock out anyway, the tiny bit of smoking I do no more makes me a smoker than having a beer once or twice a week makes one an alcoholic -NOR- would it make me as prone to lung diseases as someone that smoked a pack a day or more.

We put aaaaaaaaall my numbers into the program, age, weight, where I was raised and with whom, genetic predispositions, medical history, occupation, who I associate with, and risk factors etc. The difference between me smoking those three cigarettes a week and not changed my risk by less than a half of a percent (I'm sorry but if those were the odds of me getting diabetes or not I wouldn't swear off chocolate cake for the rest of my life over that and that alone). The chance of it being cancer, much less cancer that was due to my menial smoking was so slim it wasn't even quantifiable. He said that while he usually was incredibly harsh with legitimate smokers there was no sense in worrying as much as I was. I opted to wait it out after he discussed other possibilities for the shadows and illness. He sent me on my way with a couple of prescriptions to clear up what he thought it was and while I was still concerned it definitely put my mind at ease. I went in to my primary doctor about a month later for another xray that was to be sent down to him. There were many more shadows and nodules but I was feeling much better and after receiving the report my pulmonologist told me to come down for a repeat CT the following month to confirm his initial suspicions. I did and he confirmed - histoplasmosis.


It wasn't my smoking that had made me ill or my lungs spiderweb with now calcified nodules that I was terrified was a self inflicted cancer - it was BIRD CRAP. While bow, upland and waterfowl hunting that season I no doubt inhaled the spores that grew on BIRD CRAP.

BIRD CRAP gave me a lung disease. Not smoking. Spores on ***POOP***

I can't tell you how hard I laughed out of relief and sheer disbelief. He told me a LOT of people are quick to point the finger at smokers. Smokers are the "only ones" who ever get lung cancer, they're the "only ones" who end up with pneumonias that kill and emphysema. Nah-ah. And the assumptions drive him NUTS. He told me many of his clients he diagnosis with lung cancers have never smoked in their lives and just can't believe it's happening to them for that reason and that reason alone. Most people don't have a clue that MOST of what they breathe in now days is just as toxic as the fumes from a cigarette. There is a huge push to ban cigarettes and I understand that push. My own father lost his mother (before I came into the picture) from suspected lung cancer due to her smoking (several packs a day). I see the pain it still causes him when she is mentioned. That said, you HAVE to keep it all in perspective. Yes as entropycs pointed out everyone has a right to make the choices they feel are best for their kids, but don't think you (general you) are any safer than me and mine are just because you choose to cut that one pollutant out of your world. There are loads more, many completely out of our control, and short of living in a bubble there is not much you can do to prevent many of those exposures.
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ABCDEFG 09:37 AM 04-19-2013
Haven't read this thread yet, but before I do can someone link me to the "don't use this daycare" thread. I wnat to read it first, but I can't seem to find it.
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Blackcat31 09:58 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by ABCDEFG:
Haven't read this thread yet, but before I do can someone link me to the "don't use this daycare" thread. I wnat to read it first, but I can't seem to find it.
Here it is https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61473

It was a single post by an unregistered person bashing a daycare she used for a number of reasons, one of them being the provider smoked.

I don't think there were any other comments in the thread

The poster listed the child care name, address, phone number and license number. The personal info was deleted immediately.
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ABCDEFG 03:33 PM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Here it is https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61473

It was a single post by an unregistered person bashing a daycare she used for a number of reasons, one of them being the provider smoked.

I don't think there were any other comments in the thread

The poster listed the child care name, address, phone number and license number. The personal info was deleted immediately.
Thanks Blackcat!
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