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My Lil' Monkeys 12:19 PM 03-10-2011
I have a dcg that started in Jan who is 3 1/2. She was potty trained in Dec. So, she came to me in underwear. She is my first dck that is potty trained. (I have my own kids who are potty trained I know I've read on here many times about children who are potty trained and have accidents. Well, this dcg seems to have 1 accident once in a while. She never tells me when she has to go so every 2 hrs I tell her to go in and go... I do watch her to make sure she does everything properly.

Well, I took this child over to a friends house (who is also a licensed daycare provider) to play about a month ago and the child peed on my friends floor. She didn't say anything we just noticed she was wet and had her change. Last week she arrived and sat down to play and just peed on my floor (she wasn't even at my house 15 mins) and she never said a word to me. I didn't get upset and just said that she need to change and that if she needed to go potty she needed to get up and go. Well, today she's napping on a cot.. I check on her (as she's at the end of a open hallway and I can see her sitting on my couch) and notice that she's had an accident (I thought while sleeping)... well I got her up and into the bathroom.. she had woke up and peed and pooped her pants and laid there quietly (oh, and I had checked on her not even 5 mins before and she was sleeping). I don't know what to do.. I've talked to mom and told her if she had more accidents she had to come in pull-ups. When I was helping her change she didn't even say a word that she had pooped!! It was normal BM, too. At 3 do they still poop while sleeping?! When I asked her she said she had woken up... then WHY didn't she just go?! I've told her everyday for almost 3 months if you need to go even while on your cot to get up and go. I told grandma (who normally doesn't pick up) and she's like "well we all had accidents growing up and that's how we learn". I've never gotten mad over an accident.. but I'm a little upset now that I had to clean poop off my bathroom floor and carpet clean where she peed under her cot. What to do? Do I call parents tonight and let them know she needs to come in pull-ups or plastic pants?

YES, I know this comes with the job... I do... I've NEVER gotten mad over an accident with her...
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daycare 12:25 PM 03-10-2011
I have two kids that do this. If they have one accident in their underwear here its back in pull ups for two weeks until they can prove again they can go to the bathroom. They also go back on potty watch. Which means that they have to go to the bathroom everytime the potty clock goes off with the rest of the kids that are potty training.

I have had a boy here for almost 6 months and he still wont go to the bathroom on his own. I have to tell him. He did however tell me that he is afraid of my hallway, so now I keep the light on in the bathroom and the hallway at all times so that none of the kids will be afraid to go on their own.

Maybe she is afraid of something like this?
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kidkair 12:33 PM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by My Lil' Monkeys:
I've NEVER gotten mad over an accident with her...
Good for you. I have a really hard time not getting mad when kids do this. I had a 3 year old who was having accidents in much the same way though never a BM. She'd have an accident 15 minutes after successfully using the potty. I talked to her mother about it and they got her checked for an infection and didn't find one. Instead we just put her back in a pull up and she stopped. I think she didn't like the feel of the pull up. I would say you should definitely put her back in a pull up at least for your sanity. I would also make a chart and give her a sticker for each time she asks to go potty/goes by herself, tells you of an accident, and goes potty when you tell her to. Then give her a sucker or some little prize of some sort when she makes it a whole day staying dry.
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My Lil' Monkeys 12:36 PM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have two kids that do this. If they have one accident in their underwear here its back in pull ups for two weeks until they can prove again they can go to the bathroom. They also go back on potty watch. Which means that they have to go to the bathroom everytime the potty clock goes off with the rest of the kids that are potty training.

I have had a boy here for almost 6 months and he still wont go to the bathroom on his own. I have to tell him. He did however tell me that he is afraid of my hallway, so now I keep the light on in the bathroom and the hallway at all times so that none of the kids will be afraid to go on their own.

Maybe she is afraid of something like this?
My hallway is lit up with light.. it's very short and I have a huge window in living room and huge slider in my dining room which gives off lots of light that goes down the hall. I could understand if the accidents are only on the cot.. but she's done it just sitting on my living room floor.

I'm wondering if she gets in trouble at home for accidents? But she still doesn't tell me she has to go.. at all. She's very smart and talks my ears off.. so I know she can tell me (if she wanted to).

How did you tell the parents that their child needs to go back in pull-ups for 2 weeks? Do I call dcp tonight and have a conversation or wait until tomorrow morning?
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My Lil' Monkeys 12:45 PM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by kidkair:
Good for you. I have a really hard time not getting mad when kids do this. I had a 3 year old who was having accidents in much the same way though never a BM. She'd have an accident 15 minutes after successfully using the potty. I talked to her mother about it and they got her checked for an infection and didn't find one. Instead we just put her back in a pull up and she stopped. I think she didn't like the feel of the pull up. I would say you should definitely put her back in a pull up at least for your sanity. I would also make a chart and give her a sticker for each time she asks to go potty/goes by herself, tells you of an accident, and goes potty when you tell her to. Then give her a sucker or some little prize of some sort when she makes it a whole day staying dry.
Thank you!! I like the chart/sticker idea and for my sanity she's going to have to go back in pull-ups. I've never gotten mad.. but I did have to walk away when I had discovered the BM. Just to get a plastic bag for her stuff.. but to make sure I didn't lose my cool. I have to be honest it was VERY hard today!
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Abigail 02:25 PM 03-10-2011
I would call the parent and say pull ups for two weeks because too many accidents. You should make an update in your policies about when you can decide if pullups are still necessary.
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daycare 02:29 PM 03-10-2011
I have it in my potty training policy. One parent tried to fight me on this and I told them that I cannot continue to spend my days with harmful chemcials out to clean my carpet when soiled, I cannot continue to spend money on carpet cleaning to offer a healthy clean environment for all of the kids, and I could not spend so much time away from all of the other kids to pay attention to one child, when this could all be resolved by putting the child back in pull ups.
I got my way
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momofboys 03:01 PM 03-10-2011
Insist on pull-ups, at least for naptime. It is not unusual for kids to have accidents while they are asleep. I like trying the sticker chart to encourage her too during awake hours & would also say she needed to be in pull-ups during the day until you could be sure she would be dry.
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missnikki 03:20 PM 03-10-2011
I guess you could say, "Since we've been dealing with this issure quite a bit lately, I'm going to have my carpets cleaned. If you don't want her in pullups, you are going to need to reimburse me for the bill to have my carpets cleaned for everyone's safety."
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daycare 03:34 PM 03-10-2011
yes and what about the fact that when you have to stop and clean the mess, who is watching the kids? Who is securing them from touching it, what happens when it is all and I mean all over the house or DC room?

This is all speaking from experience...
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My Lil' Monkeys 10:13 AM 03-11-2011
Update:

So, today she did it AGAIN! This time she was in a pull-up! Thank goodness!! I was a "tad" bit upset.. I didn't get mad but I did tell her in a "deeper mommy voice that it's not ok to poop in your pants". She just shook her head "ok". I don't know what to do..but I can't have her having a BM in her pants at nap everyday...

Any suggestions as to how to stop this before she does this everyday?
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daycare 10:16 AM 03-11-2011
keep her going to the bathroom on a schedule... start the sticker chat and reward her
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mac60 11:59 AM 03-11-2011
Back in pullups. If she is not going to the potty on her own, she is not potty trained, and at 3 1/2 she should be. Not sure at this point it is the provider's responsibility anymore. No way I would ever let a child continue to pee/poop their pants in my home. We don't get paid enough to have our home ruined by situations like this. Either you are potty trained or you arn't. Can't have it both ways.
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ninosqueridos 12:19 PM 03-11-2011
She is not potty trained. Here, she would need to be able to vocalize her need to go potty before remaining in underwear. (I sound really firm, right? This is my new rule resulting from a slowly growing backbone)
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Tags:accidents, pee, potty trained, toilet trained
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