Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Daycare Mama Drama. What to do?
TickleMonster 06:32 PM 06-08-2014
So a single dcm of 4 (we only have her 1 year old daughter) is having a lot of personal problems. She has been with us for almost a year and we are very attached to dcg but the problem is dcm is getting way to attached to us. She comes in almost daily crying about something and feels very comfortable discussing her personal life with us because she has told us that we are basicly her only family. We are happy that she loves us so much and we try to be comforting to her but we are starting to feel like she is crossing the line of a professional relationship. We know she needs support, (she is about to lose another job) but this needs to stop. How do we tell her to keep things to herself without ruining the good relationship we have created with her?
Annalee 06:37 PM 06-08-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
So a single dcm of 4 (we only have her 1 year old daughter) is having a lot of personal problems. She has been with us for almost a year and we are very attached to dcg but the problem is dcm is getting way to attached to us. She comes in almost daily crying about something and feels very comfortable discussing her personal life with us because she has told us that we are basicly her only family. We are happy that she loves us so much and we try to be comforting to her but we are starting to feel like she is crossing the line of a professional relationship. We know she needs support, (she is about to lose another job) but this needs to stop. How do we tell her to keep things to herself without ruining the good relationship we have created with her?
Maybe you could offer some resources to help with her situations (financial guidance, income-based housing, career job workshops) or possibly a counseling center for single moms. By doing this, you could mention that you do not have the answers she needs. She then could use the info you give her or take the hint you do not want to hear it. Good luck to you! So a single dcm of 4 (we only have her 1 year old daughter) is having a lot of personal problems. She has been with us for almost a year and we are very attached to dcg but the problem is dcm is getting way to attached to us. She comes in almost daily crying about something and feels very comfortable discussing her personal life with us because she has told us that we are basicly her only family. We are happy that she loves us so much and we try to be comforting to her but we are starting to feel like she is crossing the line of a professional relationship. We know she needs support, (she is about to lose another job) but this needs to stop. How do we tell her to keep things to herself without ruining the good relationship we have created with her?
Little Buttons 08:34 PM 06-08-2014
I can totally relate to what you are saying! I feel like I have the word "Therapist" tattooed on my face. I get personal over shares from everyone I meet. I honestly am a caring person but I know boundaries have to be drawn so I too am working on keeping things professional. As hard as it may be, I have been working on little things like not sitting down when DCM starts to chat, not offering solutions to their problems, redirecting quickly back to statements about their child's day. I have a HUGE problem with this but at the end of a long day I really do not need to take on someone elses stress and I have my own problems to resolve. I think the suggestions the PP made were awesome as well! Good luck!
cheerfuldom 09:02 PM 06-08-2014
I would just tell that for the sake of the emotional and mental well being of the children, you can no longer discuss personal issues during drop off and pickup so that little ears are not hearing anything inappropriate and little eyes are nt seeing upset adults (which scare them!) and that you ask that she do her best to make each drop off and pickup short and void of tears or drama. You are doing your best to create a healthy environment for the kids and employees and realize that you have allowed your relationship to divert too far outside of a provider/parent relationship. You understand she is going through a tough time but you will have to keep discussions limited to Jr.'s care for the day only, no personal issues.