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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Crying/Screaming at Drop Off
Unregistered 08:36 AM 06-27-2018
New dcg 21 months is screaming and crying all the way to my door in the morning. I hear her from the moment she’s out of the car. She takes at LEAST an hour to stop every day. Mom leaves right away and has been great with that. She was previously at a daycare center. I give her a favorite toy and a pillow right next to me but I do not pick her up or give any attention to the fit. I give her positive attention when there are any breaks in the screams.

I serve breakfast right after she arrives and she just screams through it. At first I would put her at the table but she would not eat a bite and would scream the whole time. I would wait for a break in her screaming to put her at the table because kids aren’t allowed to be screaming at the table here. If a child throws a fit during a meal, they are done eating. Now, I don’t make her go to the table but rather invite her to join us. It’s just too loud. Mom says she doesn’t eat at new places and it’s normal for her.

Once the fit is over she’s an absolute dream child! She’s sweet and talkative. She naps like an angel! She eats lunch and snack with no problem. She doesn’t want to leave at pickup.

Is there something I should change with her drop off routine? I want it to be easier on her and her mother. And her screaming is SO loud! It’s hard to take for over an hour and through breakfast every single day...Give me your wisdom!!!
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storybookending 08:39 AM 06-27-2018
Sounds like she is still tired. I would put her in her bed.

Does she only do this for mom? Could someone else do the drop offs?
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Unregistered 09:17 AM 06-27-2018
Mom’s the only one who can drop her off. I would put her in bed but I serve breakfast right as she’s arriving so she’d miss it. I do want and need her to be eating it at some point. I’m on the food program...
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Pestle 09:20 AM 06-27-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Mom’s the only one who can drop her off. I would put her in bed but I serve breakfast right as she’s arriving so she’d miss it. I do want and need her to be eating it at some point. I’m on the food program...
I think you need, then, to weigh whether it's more important for her to eat at the time you currently have breakfast scheduled, or for the screaming to be managed.
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Cat Herder 09:28 AM 06-27-2018
I would also put her on her mat, with her blanket and her favorite stuffy until she is ready to join the group at the breakfast table. I would prefer she walk there, willingly, on her own, but I would carry her there until she gets the routine.

A quiet place to calm down is a basic right, she can have it anytime she needs it. Even outside.

Obviously, a quick cuddle, reassurance mom will be back as always and offering for her to join breakfast would happen before heading to the mat.

I would not make a lot of eye contact or stop tending other kids during her crying time. I would wait for her to be ready to join the group. I also would serve her breakfast up to and including morning snack while she is transitioning to your program.

They don't have to eat the meal for you to get credit for it. They only need to be offered it. They are reimbursing the purchase, prep and serving, not the pressure. Stress free is the best way. You got this.
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Ariana 10:06 AM 06-27-2018
I always have kids like this sit away from the group as was already suggested. If we were eating then I would have something close by but not right with the group. I have a cushy sesame street foam chair they sit in until they are “ready” to join the group. Ready means they have stopped crying and are able to play/eat. I remined them “ok it looks like you need some time to calm down, you can come join us when you are finished crying” and I offer a hug. Then I ignore and wait. It gets better the more you ignore it and the less the tantrum is bothering you or interfering with your routine. I also sort of amp up how much fun we are having and that seems to help distract them away from their tantrum because a tantrum is less fun.
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daycarediva 11:12 AM 06-27-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I would also put her on her mat, with her blanket and her favorite stuffy until she is ready to join the group at the breakfast table. I would prefer she walk there, willingly, on her own, but I would carry her there until she gets the routine.

A quiet place to calm down is a basic right, she can have it anytime she needs it. Even outside.

Obviously, a quick cuddle, reassurance mom will be back as always and offering for her to join breakfast would happen before heading to the mat.

I would not make a lot of eye contact or stop tending other kids during her crying time. I would wait for her to be ready to join the group. I also would serve her breakfast up to and including morning snack while she is transitioning to your program.

They don't have to eat the meal for you to get credit for it. They only need to be offered it. They are reimbursing the purchase, prep and serving, not the pressure. Stress free is the best way. You got this.

This is exactly what I would do, too.
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Unregistered 02:29 PM 06-27-2018
Thanks for the advice everyone.

I know about only needing to offer a meal for reimbursement. I was simply pointing out that putting her to bed would eliminate that offering so it’s not really a good option with her drop off time.

I will definitely try cat herder’s suggestions! I have a spot where I’ve already been placing her to calm down. It just takes a while. I’ll definitely give her a chance though. She’s a sweet kid and her family is amazing!
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Tags:drop off - crying, separation anxiety
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