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  #1  
Old 09-02-2013, 06:39 AM
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Default Anybody Else Have DCP Like This? (Vent)

I have a dcm who believes it's all about her and what her kids need. There is NO thought to the other 5 kids in care and how her special requests would take time away from them (if I said yes to her special requests, which I don't). The latest one happened on Friday and I'm still fuming about it!

This dcm and I are close to the same age. I remember growing up and having classmates who would throw a fit whenever they didn't get what they wanted. After the fit throwing they'd get whatever it was they wanted in the first place. This fit throwing worked so they kept doing it.

Dcm is a grown up and still throws a fit to get what she wants. The world has always revolved around her. I'm beyond done with the fits. Honestly if they weren't moving out of the area soon I would've termed them months ago

Thanks for reading.
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  #2  
Old 09-02-2013, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Trummynme View Post
I have a dcm who believes it's all about her and what her kids need. There is NO thought to the other 5 kids in care and how her special requests would take time away from them (if I said yes to her special requests, which I don't). The latest one happened on Friday and I'm still fuming about it!

This dcm and I are close to the same age. I remember growing up and having classmates who would throw a fit whenever they didn't get what they wanted. After the fit throwing they'd get whatever it was they wanted in the first place. This fit throwing worked so they kept doing it.

Dcm is a grown up and still throws a fit to get what she wants. The world has always revolved around her. I'm beyond done with the fits. Honestly if they weren't moving out of the area soon I would've termed them months ago

Thanks for reading.


Sorry hon!! I think we've all have a parent or more than one who have acted like that. That's why this forum is great so we can come commiserate!!

Keep sticking to your guns though!!
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  #3  
Old 09-02-2013, 07:17 AM
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here's a big hug

sorry some parents just don't get it
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  #4  
Old 09-02-2013, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Trummynme View Post
I have a dcm who believes it's all about her and what her kids need. There is NO thought to the other 5 kids in care and how her special requests would take time away from them (if I said yes to her special requests, which I don't). The latest one happened on Friday and I'm still fuming about it!

This dcm and I are close to the same age. I remember growing up and having classmates who would throw a fit whenever they didn't get what they wanted. After the fit throwing they'd get whatever it was they wanted in the first place. This fit throwing worked so they kept doing it.

Dcm is a grown up and still throws a fit to get what she wants. The world has always revolved around her. I'm beyond done with the fits. Honestly if they weren't moving out of the area soon I would've termed them months ago

Thanks for reading.
Have you tried answering her requests with...."Well if I did that with your child, what would I do with the other 4 while I was doing it?" Kind of put her in your position and see what she says. If she shrugs it off just look seriously at her and say "No, I really mean it. What would you do with the other 4?"

Once when I worked in schools a gym teacher was in the lunchroom with me and said this one mom got highly upset because the gym teacher wouldn't retie the little bows on her child's hair. After all, SHE woke up early to make her child's hair just so-so and didn't appreciate her not coming home the same way. Are you freakin' kidding me lady? Like this teacher was supposed to do her child's hair and still attend to the rest of the class. Wow.

Laurel
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  #5  
Old 09-02-2013, 08:32 PM
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I had a kid (the most horrible child I have ever met and I don't say that lightly). He was 3.75 and his mom would dress him in white, Ralph Lauren shirts or some other expensive non-daycare crap. Even if he was wearing Garanimals she wanted it spanking clean when she picked up.

She would always tell me to change his shirt before lunch and back again after to preserve his pristine little shirts. So in addition to trying to keep him from hitting, kicking, biting, throwing food at everyone else's shirts, etc. I was supposed to change his shirt twice a day, plus try to feed and give a little attention to the other kids.

One day I was so overwhelmed with his behavior I could care less about his shirt. She promptly got in my face the next morning.

The only reason I did it was because my director was so butt-kissy to all the parents she would have probably reimbursed the parent for the shirts out of my paycheck...she had done it before.
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  #6  
Old 09-03-2013, 06:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trummynme View Post
I have a dcm who believes it's all about her and what her kids need. There is NO thought to the other 5 kids in care and how her special requests would take time away from them (if I said yes to her special requests, which I don't). The latest one happened on Friday and I'm still fuming about it!

This dcm and I are close to the same age. I remember growing up and having classmates who would throw a fit whenever they didn't get what they wanted. After the fit throwing they'd get whatever it was they wanted in the first place. This fit throwing worked so they kept doing it.

Dcm is a grown up and still throws a fit to get what she wants. The world has always revolved around her. I'm beyond done with the fits. Honestly if they weren't moving out of the area soon I would've termed them months ago

Thanks for reading.
I think to some extent ALL daycare parents are like this. It's hard to put yourself in other people's shoes and see things from their perspectives.

I doubt many parents really FULLY understand what being in group care really means. They really do think they are paying YOU to care for THEIR child and often times have no consideration for the other kids in care.

When you really think about it, why should they? Why do they care what other families do or don't do, how often they are or aren't at daycare etc....

They only care about what YOU can do or what YOU offer THEM.

That isn't an automatic red flag or an automatic disqualifier, it just means you have to be clearer (and sometimes firmer) in your policies and rules. It often times means having to explain things repeatedly or in many different ways so that the parent understands YOUR side of things.

Like most everything else in this profession, it simply means having open lines of CLEAR communication. The minute something crosses into singular expectations, that is the minute YOU need to further explain or restate your rules/policies.

Most times child care is the first experience children and parents have being part of a larger group that extends beyond family members and friends.

As a family child care provider of multiple children/families, this is the VERY first conversation or "lesson" my families receive. Usually during the interview and then whenever necessary as things come up....or when I feel the parent may be slipping into their old (singular) way of thinking.

It is sometimes a hard lesson for parents. With a little patience and some clear wording, strong enforcement and a little understanding, most parents catch on pretty quick.
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  #7  
Old 09-03-2013, 07:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I think to some extent ALL daycare parents are like this. It's hard to put yourself in other people's shoes and see things from their perspectives.

I doubt many parents really FULLY understand what being in group care really means. They really do think they are paying YOU to care for THEIR child and often times have no consideration for the other kids in care.

When you really think about it, why should they? Why do they care what other families do or don't do, how often they are or aren't at daycare etc....

They only care about what YOU can do or what YOU offer THEM.

That isn't an automatic red flag or an automatic disqualifier, it just means you have to be clearer (and sometimes firmer) in your policies and rules. It often times means having to explain things repeatedly or in many different ways so that the parent understands YOUR side of things.

Like most everything else in this profession, it simply means having open lines of CLEAR communication. The minute something crosses into singular expectations, that is the minute YOU need to further explain or restate your rules/policies.

Most times child care is the first experience children and parents have being part of a larger group that extends beyond family members and friends.

As a family child care provider of multiple children/families, this is the VERY first conversation or "lesson" my families receive. Usually during the interview and then whenever necessary as things come up....or when I feel the parent may be slipping into their old (singular) way of thinking.

It is sometimes a hard lesson for parents. With a little patience and some clear wording, strong enforcement and a little understanding, most parents catch on pretty quick.
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  #8  
Old 09-03-2013, 08:52 AM
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Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
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Originally Posted by Play Care View Post


I'm tired today. Instead of just following BC around doing thumbs up, I'm going to follow play care around too lol
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  #9  
Old 09-03-2013, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons View Post


I'm tired today. Instead of just following BC around doing thumbs up, I'm going to follow play care around too lol


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  #10  
Old 09-03-2013, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I think to some extent ALL daycare parents are like this. It's hard to put yourself in other people's shoes and see things from their perspectives.

I doubt many parents really FULLY understand what being in group care really means. They really do think they are paying YOU to care for THEIR child and often times have no consideration for the other kids in care.

When you really think about it, why should they? Why do they care what other families do or don't do, how often they are or aren't at daycare etc....

They only care about what YOU can do or what YOU offer THEM.

That isn't an automatic red flag or an automatic disqualifier, it just means you have to be clearer (and sometimes firmer) in your policies and rules. It often times means having to explain things repeatedly or in many different ways so that the parent understands YOUR side of things.

Like most everything else in this profession, it simply means having open lines of CLEAR communication. The minute something crosses into singular expectations, that is the minute YOU need to further explain or restate your rules/policies.

Most times child care is the first experience children and parents have being part of a larger group that extends beyond family members and friends.

As a family child care provider of multiple children/families, this is the VERY first conversation or "lesson" my families receive. Usually during the interview and then whenever necessary as things come up....or when I feel the parent may be slipping into their old (singular) way of thinking.

It is sometimes a hard lesson for parents. With a little patience and some clear wording, strong enforcement and a little understanding, most parents catch on pretty quick.
Agree!
My favorite is when a parent will say: wow how do you manage all these kids!? I could NEVER do it.... Oh my the way will you do special, special, special, for my precious!
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