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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What To Do When You Have A Funeral ...
DaycareMom 04:09 AM 02-13-2012
My husband's grandmother passed away this past Saturday. I asked DCPs to pick up kids by 430 on Tuesday so I can try to make it to the wake, but the actual funeral is Wednesday @ 11, and there is a family thing afterwards so it will take up most of the day.
Both DCPs have no more sick days left since there has been so much sickness in the last month or so.
What do you do in this situation? Have DCPs deal and figure out alternate care or have my husband go alone and tend to my business?
What would u do? Advice/suggestions welcome! Thank you!
Both DCPs have no more sick days left since there has been so much sickness in the last month or so.
What do you do in this situation? Have DCPs deal and figure out alternate care or have my husband go alone and tend to my business?
What would u do? Advice/suggestions welcome! Thank you!
morgan24 04:21 AM 02-13-2012
I have a friend who fills in for me. All my parents know about her and I only use her in cases like a funeral. If she can't fill in all my parents know they need to have back up. If you don't have anyone I would close. I think that is something important enough that you should attend.
Kaddidle Care 04:28 AM 02-13-2012
Everyone should have a back up plan in case you are closed. You give them that 2 days notice and not think on it a minute more. It's a death in the family and it's your priority right now to be with your husband and family.
AfterSchoolMom 04:33 AM 02-13-2012
Do you have something in your contract about the parents needing to have a backup?
Mine says "The parent/guardian is responsible for securing and paying for back up childcare on days when your child is too ill to attend care, days when I am forced to cancel care due to illness, or for the days that I am closed for care."
Either way, in this case I'd close and go to the funeral. The parents will just have to make other arrangements. I'd hope that they'd be decent and understanding.
Mine says "The parent/guardian is responsible for securing and paying for back up childcare on days when your child is too ill to attend care, days when I am forced to cancel care due to illness, or for the days that I am closed for care."
Either way, in this case I'd close and go to the funeral. The parents will just have to make other arrangements. I'd hope that they'd be decent and understanding.
SilverSabre25 05:56 AM 02-13-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Everyone should have a back up plan in case you are closed. You give them that 2 days notice and not think on it a minute more. It's a death in the family and it's your priority right now to be with your husband and family.
this exactly--close, go, support your husband and mourn with the rest of your family.Everyone should have a back up plan in case you are closed. You give them that 2 days notice and not think on it a minute more. It's a death in the family and it's your priority right now to be with your husband and family.
momofboys 05:56 AM 02-13-2012
DCP must have their own back-up! You should not have to miss being with your DH at this difficult time b/c they are out of sick time. Heck, it's only Feb! What do they plan to do the rest of the year? I would close & it's up to them to make arrangements - not your problem. You have given them several days notice - that is more than enough. Sorry for your loss!
JenNJ 06:09 AM 02-13-2012
If it is someone in my family, MIL covers for me. If it is a death on dh's side, I close.
MyAngels 06:10 AM 02-13-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Everyone should have a back up plan in case you are closed. You give them that 2 days notice and not think on it a minute more. It's a death in the family and it's your priority right now to be with your husband and family.
Yes, this. Your families will understand. Everyone should have a back up plan in case you are closed. You give them that 2 days notice and not think on it a minute more. It's a death in the family and it's your priority right now to be with your husband and family.
I am sorry for your family's loss, it's never easy to lose a loved one.
Unregistered 06:35 AM 02-13-2012
You should definietly close...I tried to be nice (or accomodating) when my great uncle passed and didn't close early the night of the wake ...AND of course, there was that one inconsiderate dcm who came extra late even though she knew I HAD to leave as early as I could...I was LIVID!! I reamed her out and she still couldn't see how ignorant she was! As it turned out we were the last people to go in of the family and everyone was kind of pissed at us for not being there sooner.
I vowed to never do that again ...and when my cousin accidentally drowned in June, I closed the afternoon of the wake and the next day...I was too distraught not to and even though most of the families I have here now are mainly interested in only themselves, no one had any issues...and if they had said even one word, they'd have been out of here that second for good...
I vowed to never do that again ...and when my cousin accidentally drowned in June, I closed the afternoon of the wake and the next day...I was too distraught not to and even though most of the families I have here now are mainly interested in only themselves, no one had any issues...and if they had said even one word, they'd have been out of here that second for good...
Sunshine44 06:57 AM 02-13-2012
I would definitely close and go with my husband. You need to be there for your family. The business can wait. If they are mean towards you about it, well, I believe in karma.
DCMom 07:12 AM 02-13-2012
Their problem, not yours. You can't plan a death in the family.
I would close early for the wake and close completely for the funeral. Your husband and family come first.
I would close early for the wake and close completely for the funeral. Your husband and family come first.
Crazy8 07:33 AM 02-13-2012
For funerals I usually attend the evening wake (they usually start about about 7pm so long after I close) and I do not attend the actually funeral unless it is a close family member (so I don't go for aunts, uncles, etc.). For a close family member I would just post now when I will be closed and let parents find their back up. If they are out of sick days in the middle of February what are they going to do for the rest of the year - bring you sick kids???????
And I agree, you will have parents who are great about it and those who are horrible. I called my one and only family when we got the call that my SIL was in the hospital and probably not going to make it thru the night. She was so huffy and puffy about coming to get them, how she was going to get fired, blah blah blah (this after she took plenty days off all summer to leave her kids with me while she went to the beach, amusement parks, etc.). I felt so guilty and called her that evening when my SIL passed saying I'd be open tomorrow, just need the day off of the funeral, etc. and she was all "oh, don't worry about us" on the phone - turned out she went and called a daycare center that she had planned to move her kids to once they were 2.5 anyway and they took her a few months early. I decided right then I would NEVER feel guilty for putting my family first ever again.
And I agree, you will have parents who are great about it and those who are horrible. I called my one and only family when we got the call that my SIL was in the hospital and probably not going to make it thru the night. She was so huffy and puffy about coming to get them, how she was going to get fired, blah blah blah (this after she took plenty days off all summer to leave her kids with me while she went to the beach, amusement parks, etc.). I felt so guilty and called her that evening when my SIL passed saying I'd be open tomorrow, just need the day off of the funeral, etc. and she was all "oh, don't worry about us" on the phone - turned out she went and called a daycare center that she had planned to move her kids to once they were 2.5 anyway and they took her a few months early. I decided right then I would NEVER feel guilty for putting my family first ever again.
melissa ann 07:41 AM 02-13-2012
In Oct 2009, my uncle died. I closed the day of the funeral. He passed away Sunday and the funeral was on Thursday. I had 2 families at the time. One was very understanding and the other was annoyed. The one that was annoyed is part-time and I let her switch a day since Thur is one of her days she's scheduled. Although I said I would not charge for Thur since I closed.
My handbook states that dcp are responsible for backup and I also list that I may be closed due to but not limited to: and funeral is listed under that.
You should close and be with your husband. It's not your fault they are out of sick days. Family comes before business,
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother in law.
My handbook states that dcp are responsible for backup and I also list that I may be closed due to but not limited to: and funeral is listed under that.
You should close and be with your husband. It's not your fault they are out of sick days. Family comes before business,
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother in law.
icaredaycare 08:39 AM 02-13-2012
im' sorry for your loss. you should close. u would be very surprised about how understanding ur clients may be.
when i had to close for family reasons... i was welcomed back with gifts from my clients.
when i had to close for family reasons... i was welcomed back with gifts from my clients.
wdmmom 08:54 AM 02-13-2012
My grandfather passed away right before my 2 year mark of doing daycare. I told my families the week of Thanksgiving that things weren't looking good and to plan accordingly.
My grandfather ended up passing the Monday after Thanksgiving. I took Thursday and Friday off for to travel for the wake and Saturday was the funeral.
Everyone was extremely understanding and sympathetic.
It is not your concern if your DCF's have sick days left or not. Do not let their problem be your problem. They'll have to make other arrangements just like everyone else in the world.
I'm sorry for your loss and I truly hope that you take the day off to celebrate your husbands grandmothers life, be there for support for your husband and mourn with the family.
My grandfather ended up passing the Monday after Thanksgiving. I took Thursday and Friday off for to travel for the wake and Saturday was the funeral.
Everyone was extremely understanding and sympathetic.
It is not your concern if your DCF's have sick days left or not. Do not let their problem be your problem. They'll have to make other arrangements just like everyone else in the world.
I'm sorry for your loss and I truly hope that you take the day off to celebrate your husbands grandmothers life, be there for support for your husband and mourn with the family.
beachgrl 10:21 AM 02-13-2012
My ex husbands dad passed not too long ago, i went to the wake i. The evening and i would have missed it but wouldnt have wanted to bc i wanted to be there for my son and the family in general..but one of my dcmmwas off that day and the other used backup so i was able to attend.
cheerfuldom 10:57 AM 02-13-2012
my grandmother passed away last year and I had the same dilemma. Finally I practically slapped myself and was like Hellloooo? This is your grandmother! your only chance to have that closure and be with the family when they need you! Plus other family members would be hurt if from their view, they see you putting your job first. These are events and memories you cannot ever get back. The parents need a back up plan and they will get over it. You may not ever get over the fact that you missed this event.
bice99 11:00 AM 02-13-2012
I have 3 paid funeral days in my handbook/contract - for both myself and my families. Theirs is for immediate family.
Meeko 11:03 AM 02-13-2012
I have it in my handbook that parents need to make sure they have back up in the case of an emergency closure.
I've only had to close twice in 27 years for an emergency/funeral etc and everyone was great.
But bottom line is I tend their children...not them. They need to have their ducks in a row and plan for emergencies when I cannot help them.
And anyone who honestly thinks that their daycare comes before a death in my family would be out the door with a boot in the backside....just sayin'!!!
I've only had to close twice in 27 years for an emergency/funeral etc and everyone was great.
But bottom line is I tend their children...not them. They need to have their ducks in a row and plan for emergencies when I cannot help them.
And anyone who honestly thinks that their daycare comes before a death in my family would be out the door with a boot in the backside....just sayin'!!!
daycare 03:39 PM 02-13-2012
OMG sorry, what kind of heartless parents do you have. I am so so sorry that they are doing this to you.
I would tell them that you understand that they don't have any time left, but that they have to understand that you need to tend to your family right now and that they are responsible for making proper arrangments for when and if theses types of situations arise.
Would their boss give them the day off if their MIL or other family member passed away and they already used all of their sick time? I am sure they would.
Many moons ago I worked at a dental office and both of my kids kept getting sick so I had missed many days of work. My grandma died and when I asked for the time off, the dentist said NO, you don't have any days off left. I quit. Who wants to work with someone so heartless? I understand that the bills needed to be paid, but no one was going to take away my opportunity to say my last good byes to my grandmother and take away my right to morn.
I hope it all works out for you...
I would tell them that you understand that they don't have any time left, but that they have to understand that you need to tend to your family right now and that they are responsible for making proper arrangments for when and if theses types of situations arise.
Would their boss give them the day off if their MIL or other family member passed away and they already used all of their sick time? I am sure they would.
Many moons ago I worked at a dental office and both of my kids kept getting sick so I had missed many days of work. My grandma died and when I asked for the time off, the dentist said NO, you don't have any days off left. I quit. Who wants to work with someone so heartless? I understand that the bills needed to be paid, but no one was going to take away my opportunity to say my last good byes to my grandmother and take away my right to morn.
I hope it all works out for you...
PitterPatter 05:49 PM 02-13-2012
First of all I am very sorry for your loss. This shouldn't even be an issue. Clients should step up and offer to find alternate care. I would Close for the day. Anyone of your client families would do the same so why shouldn't you. We are human too.
If they can't understand that then they don't have a heart. If you don't already have noted in your handbook that clients are to have a backup in case of emergencies then I would definatley add it ASAP!
If they can't understand that then they don't have a heart. If you don't already have noted in your handbook that clients are to have a backup in case of emergencies then I would definatley add it ASAP!
e.j. 07:25 PM 02-13-2012
I'm sorry for your loss.
I agree with those who have advised you to close. My father passed away at the end of April so I had to close for his wake and funeral. My husband's mother just passed away this past Thursday and her wake/funeral was held this morning in another state. As terrible as I felt having to close the day care again so soon, I did close today so we could attend her funeral as a family. Only the most self-absorbed person would fault you for closing in order to attend a close family member's wake and/or funeral.
I agree with those who have advised you to close. My father passed away at the end of April so I had to close for his wake and funeral. My husband's mother just passed away this past Thursday and her wake/funeral was held this morning in another state. As terrible as I felt having to close the day care again so soon, I did close today so we could attend her funeral as a family. Only the most self-absorbed person would fault you for closing in order to attend a close family member's wake and/or funeral.