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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>SOO ANGRY and Upset
dEHmom 06:41 AM 08-03-2011
Ok, for those of you who might remember I have a dcb and his best friend was enrolled in march waiting to start in june. Then because of other reasons (medical) they decided a week before starting that they weren't going to be coming and mom wasn't going back to work.

I got notice this morning for my current ANGRY dcb (whew) that they are leaving in a month, and so I was sad, and dcd explains that the other mom decided to open a home daycare....fair enough, I totally understand going with your best friend and at least the boys get to be together.

I regularly check out competition ads on kijiji and stuff, and so I was curious about the other daycare in town now. So I checked out the ad, she created a daycare website on the same site I used, weebly. With a little help it's no longer a weebly.com site but just my daycare name.com that I have now.
ANYWHO.....I checked out this other moms ad and noticed that there were a lot of similarities in what she wrote so I compared to my site, and sure enough, she copied it, a few tweaks here and there, but some spots were word for word and sentence for sentence. so I went to her website, COPIED! She copied lots of stuff from my site and put it on hers.

I'm fuming and so I sent a text asking her why, because I worked hard on it, and it's not fair that she just gets to take it. I don't mind her using what I said and changing the words. Just as I have copied from all you ladies you are not my competition, and I arranged things differently, I reworded many things, and made it my own. But she directly copied, and she probably did that overnight, whereas I took months to change it all up and put my heart into it and make it mine.

I probably shouldn't have sent anything to her, but before I even realized it was her (she didn't put her name or street or anything on the ads or website, but when I clicked on the map sure enough it was her house that came up) I was ready to email and say something, then when I realized it was her I was really pissed.

I'm happy she decided to go for daycare, that's all cool with me, and I'm actually sort of happy that dcb gets to be with his best friend. I'm sad that he is leaving, but I would do the exact same thing. The difference is that this woman is ECE and all of that jazz which I am not. So she has that over me, but now that she copied my website I look like the one who copied it.
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cheerfuldom 06:44 AM 08-03-2011
That is beyond frustrating! Let us know if she replies to the text
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permanentvacation 06:50 AM 08-03-2011
WOW!! Yeah, I'd be ticked off too! I don't think you can legally do anything about it though. But the lady's pretty ignorant to copy your website like that. Maybe you can make some changes to yours (and hope she doesn't copy them!) to make yours different now. I'd be curious to know if she copies your daycare room arrangement too.
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dEHmom 06:52 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
WOW!! Yeah, I'd be ticked off too! I don't think you can legally do anything about it though. But the lady's pretty ignorant to copy your website like that. Maybe you can make some changes to yours (and hope she doesn't copy them!) to make yours different now. I'd be curious to know if she copies your daycare room arrangement too.
dcm phoned me, and i missed the call, but then she texted saying she will phone me after work because it's not appropriate to discuss over text. so clearly they discussed it.

as for the daycare room arrangement i don't really have that. But I have a feeling my handbook is copied as well. I'm tempted to set up a fake interview and see if she hands it out.
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Cat Herder 07:00 AM 08-03-2011
Just put up a nice heading of "References Available. Proudly Serving ***** County Since 19**"

My Ads got ripped off ALL the Time. The years of service and the references always stand out regardless.

Few of my clients care about my ECE/CDA Training (after all, the "right" way of doing things changes constantly depending on who funded the research study ) but ALL of my clients care about my years of successful service and word of mouth references.

No worries....
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dEHmom 07:05 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Just put up a nice heading of "References Available. Proudly Serving ***** County Since 19**"

My Ads got ripped off ALL the Time. The years of service and the references always stand out regardless.

Few of my clients care about my ECE/CDA Training (after all, the "right" way of doing things changes constantly depending on who funded the research study ) but ALL of my clients care about my years of successful service and word of mouth references.

No worries....
actually she has been in childcare longer than me. she worked at a daycare center for the last like 10 years, and she's all certified etc. I'm not. I'm a SAM who decided to take in some kids. I plan to get certified etc but she comes from the top daycare center in this whole area.
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Godiva17 07:07 AM 08-03-2011
That just isn't right! Sure, we have all borrowed and tweaked from time to time but not from direct competition. I have had parents come for an interview who later I found were researching for their own home daycare- I just wish they were up front about it, as I would have been morethan happy to help out.
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wdmmom 07:21 AM 08-03-2011
I have this little sentence on the last page of my website. I haven't had any issue with copying.

Any policies, pictures, and intellectual web content relating to this site is the property of (name of daycare), thus duplication of any whole or part of the contents within are not coincidental and will be subject to infringement law.
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Cat Herder 07:22 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
actually she has been in childcare longer than me. she worked at a daycare center for the last like 10 years, and she's all certified etc. I'm not. I'm a SAM who decided to take in some kids. I plan to get certified etc but she comes from the top daycare center in this whole area.
Yeah, but that does not mean she has been in business in your area longer...YKWIM? She was an EMPLOYEE, following someone elses business model WITH help just down the hall at all times. THAT is much easier to do...you just meet minimal requirements and you are the golden child in that world. (ahhhh...minimal effort, how I miss you...)

She also never had to deal with parent, insurance, supply, compliance, equipment or money issues since she had management for that.

It does not work that way when you have to create it all from scratch, especially after having it all handed to you in another setting. Just wait until the first kid does damage to her kids belongings.

Home Daycare and Center Care are two different colored horses...

I have done both and they could NOT be more different.

The parents will expect Center resources at a home daycare budget because of the way she is marketing herself. THAT will be hard to live up to as a new business. You can't promise Steak and deliver Peanuts.

The fact is she still has ratios, just like the rest of us. She is alienating her local resources by stealing their work (you). She is also making the rookie mistake of working with friends .

The standard rate of home daycare failure in the first two years is 50/50. IMHO, she is off to a bumpy start.
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cheerfuldom 07:26 AM 08-03-2011
yeah if it makes you feel any better, there's a good chance she wont make it long even after stealing your website stuff. in-home daycare is a whole different ballgame than working at a center
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dEHmom 07:30 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I have this little sentence on the last page of my website. I haven't had any issue with copying.

Any policies, pictures, and intellectual web content relating to this site is the property of (name of daycare), thus duplication of any whole or part of the contents within are not coincidental and will be subject to infringement law.
its officially stolen
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dEHmom 07:31 AM 08-03-2011
thanks you are making me feel better. I have a feeling their friendship might decline as well. Not that i want that to happen, but this little guy is pretty tough some days. But they are a rich family, husband owns his own business, and they have a gigantic house (mansion like) lol. So I'm pretty sure she will have a dedicated daycare area, and there won't be much for him to get into trouble with.
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AnneCordelia 07:37 AM 08-03-2011
TBH, home daycare is hard work. If they are loaded then I can't see why she'd put up with the long hours, difficult parents and general WORK of it for very long at all. I know I wouldn't. LOL!
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dEHmom 07:41 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by AnneCordelia:
TBH, home daycare is hard work. If they are loaded then I can't see why she'd put up with the long hours, difficult parents and general WORK of it for very long at all. I know I wouldn't. LOL!
she also set her hours from 7am to 515, not many people in town here would be able to do those hours anyway. And the dcb i'm losing to them is 630am to 445 pm, i'm sure she's made the exception for him because their families are best friends.

i'm just hurt, and like I said I completely understand the reasoning for them going to her instead of me, 100%, but bothers me that she did what she did. That's all. And I feel like i'm in **** with dcm lol because of her text "inappropriate over text" to discuss.
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dEHmom 08:35 AM 08-03-2011
i'm still worked up over it. i'm calming down, but my chest is really tight and i feel like i need to release it. maybe i should break something that usually helps *stomping feet*

but i am a better person, and although i did send a text and call her out on it, i will see what the phone call tonight with dcm brings out.

hoping i can fill my slots soon.
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SandeeAR 08:44 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
i'm still worked up over it. i'm calming down, but my chest is really tight and i feel like i need to release it. maybe i should break something that usually helps *stomping feet*

but i am a better person, and although i did send a text and call her out on it, i will see what the phone call tonight with dcm brings out.

hoping i can fill my slots soon.
Go over to Word, write them both a nice long letter. Get all the thoughts you have in your mind out. Then, stick it in a file drawer and leave it. When you get mad again, go get it an read it again. Soon, you will be able to tear it up and throw it out and you will feel better.
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MarinaVanessa 09:12 AM 08-03-2011
Because of your profile photo I'm assuming you are in Canada. If you are that's too bad because if you you were in the US I'd tell you to send her a certified cease and disist letter for copyright infringement. That's just plain wrong and I'd be
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dEHmom 09:36 AM 08-03-2011
i'm just wondering though, because my site is now mine and not weebly anymore, is it copyright? or it doesn't matter? because if i type in the website with the weebly.com after it it still comes up so i guess it's still weebly.

i won't bother with any legal stuff on it, i'm just upset she would stoop to that level. i mean we are competition. if it was somewhere else in the world or even another city i wouldn't care so much. but how could i prove that it was mine first you know? there's no way to prove it.

i feel better. another daycare stopped by today and we chit chatted, so i got my words out, and i vented on here. i do feel a little better, but still. it's a mixture of sadness and anger.
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MarinaVanessa 09:53 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
i'm just wondering though, because my site is now mine and not weebly anymore, is it copyright? or it doesn't matter? because if i type in the website with the weebly.com after it it still comes up so i guess it's still weebly.
I'm not sure if it applies the same way in all countries but since copyright right's extend to foreign countries I don't see why it doesn't apply to Canada too. Here's what I found (US website):

"Do I have to register with your office to be protected?
No. In general, registration is voluntary. Copyright exists from the moment the work is created. You will have to register, however, if you wish to bring a lawsuit for infringement of a U.S. work."

US Copyright Office FAQ's

Originally Posted by dEHmom:
i won't bother with any legal stuff on it, i'm just upset she would stoop to that level. i mean we are competition. if it was somewhere else in the world or even another city i wouldn't care so much. but how could i prove that it was mine first you know? there's no way to prove it.
Even if you aren't really going to court over it, she doesn't know that. Technically anything that you post on your website is copyrighted automatically and cannot be copied word for word.

You can always contact her and say "I'm really quite flattered that you would want to copy my website but I would appreciate it if you would remove anything on your website that I have on mine. I really want to keep things on a friendly and proffesional level with you and really don't want to take things further. I'm sure you understand my position." You'd be surprised at how effective it is (I've been in your position before).

I wouldn't like the idea of knowing that a potential client saw my website and saw hers too and wondered who the "copyer" was. It is your hard work afterall.
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dEHmom 10:14 AM 08-03-2011
i googled canadian copyright infringement laws and it's the same. websites are different because it's so easy to take from.

i just emailed this lady what marinavanessa suggested (sorry I stole that too :P) and added more to it. I wished her well with her daycare and such, and how i'm sorry i wasn't able to provide the quality of care she was looking for (since she stated that on her site which is bs).
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MarinaVanessa 10:40 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
i just emailed this lady what marinavanessa suggested (sorry I stole that too :P) and added more to it. I wished her well with her daycare and such, and how i'm sorry i wasn't able to provide the quality of care she was looking for (since she stated that on her site which is bs).
What what?! Am I getting this right? I hope I'm not. Did she not only steal your website info but also bash your care on hers??
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countrymom 10:53 AM 08-03-2011
this would make me angry. I also think that just because you have a big house doens't mean that you have money. You would be amazed but I will gaurentee that they owe thousands and thousands of dollars and are living beyond their means.
also i don't have my ece (maybe one day) but like my neighbour who has it, she just couldn't do it once she finished school and was left to deal with the real world. The kids are tougher, the parents, the information, everything she just couldn't do it, I think they sugar coat it in school.
also I would call her out on it too, if she copies a website, then what is she going to do in her home daycare, think about it, she worked in a center where everything was laid out and she didn't have to think about anything, so now she's on her own the first thing she does is copy your site, you can tell she is going to be struggling.
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MarinaVanessa 11:11 AM 08-03-2011
BTW (I don't know if it's the same in Canada) but here in the US website information like copying text, pictures etc word for word is still covered by the copyright law. YOU HEAR THAT LADIES IN THE US!!

Here if you have a website and you put your information on it and pictures etc. it immediately becomes copyrighted. BUT the only way to go to court for it is to be registered.
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cheerfuldom 11:52 AM 08-03-2011
okay wait....I am confused. so a former DCM is starting a daycare and she is the one who copied the OP's stuff. Now a current DCM is leaving to go to the former DCM's daycare. Who was it that the OP texted? the former or the current?
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CheekyChick 02:04 PM 08-03-2011
That's not cool. I would be furious.
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dEHmom 02:05 PM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
What what?! Am I getting this right? I hope I'm not. Did she not only steal your website info but also bash your care on hers??
ok to clarify a few questions i read so far...

current dcm #1 is best friends with the dcm#2 starting the new daycare

dcm #2 was enrolled, paid deposit brought dcb here a few times before realizing he needed more doctor appts etc and work wouldn't give her the opportunity to do all that so she couldn't go back to work, and decided to open a daycare.

current dcm #1 gave notice this morning they will be moving to the dcm #2's new daycare (they are best friends i totally understand that).

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the wording on the website stated she wasn't able to find the quality of childcare she was looking for for her son, thus opening one of her own. To me that felt personal but more than likely it was just appropriate wording for her site rather than disclosing medical issues with her son.


I texted dcm#2 to say why did you copy it. Then I emailed her saying it is copyright infringement, please remove it, wished her well, etc.

dcm #1 tried phoning this morning but i missed her call, she texted saying it's not text appropriate and she will call me later. I hope it is just regarding dcb leaving and such, but hope she's not mad that i called out dcm#2 on the copying.

Update: dcm #2 obviously received my email, and has since changed the wording. whew.
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sharlan 02:19 PM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
ok to clarify a few questions i read so far...

current dcm #1 is best friends with the dcm#2 starting the new daycare

dcm #2 was enrolled, paid deposit brought dcb here a few times before realizing he needed more doctor appts etc and work wouldn't give her the opportunity to do all that so she couldn't go back to work, and decided to open a daycare.

current dcm #1 gave notice this morning they will be moving to the dcm #2's new daycare (they are best friends i totally understand that).

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the wording on the website stated she wasn't able to find the quality of childcare she was looking for for her son, thus opening one of her own. To me that felt personal but more than likely it was just appropriate wording for her site rather than disclosing medical issues with her son.


I texted dcm#2 to say why did you copy it. Then I emailed her saying it is copyright infringement, please remove it, wished her well, etc.

dcm #1 tried phoning this morning but i missed her call, she texted saying it's not text appropriate and she will call me later. I hope it is just regarding dcb leaving and such, but hope she's not mad that i called out dcm#2 on the copying.

Update: dcm #2 obviously received my email, and has since changed the wording. whew.
I'm sure if she asked you, you would have been happy to offer some suggestions. But to outright copy it is wrong.

I would like to start a website, but am not the least bit tech savy.
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dEHmom 05:49 AM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I'm sure if she asked you, you would have been happy to offer some suggestions. But to outright copy it is wrong.

I would like to start a website, but am not the least bit tech savy.
I found weebly to be very easy to use. It's mainly all drag and drop. You pick the look of the website you like, add whatever you like to it, how many pages, if you want secondary pages for different pages, etc.


I would've been more than happy to help her. I'm another one of those helpful by nature people. Even if I was upset to have competition, I would still help.


On another note: How do you ladies continue on normally with parents when you know they are leaving? I mean, I am, but I'm worried it is a little fake now, because I am sad a bit. DCM#1 was supposed to make a sign for the daycare, she had promised and talked more than once about it during the time dcb was here. I can almost guarantee that dcm#1 created, and made dcm #2's sign which sort of hurts. DH kept telling me don't worry about her sign, make your own, get one up, don't wait for her (it's been since february she promised to do it). I have a feeling, and dh said it last night, that they've known this for at least 2 months.
Like I said I feel a little hurt that they were'nt happy enough with me to say to dcm #2 sorry we're going to leave him where he is. or anything like that. I understand they are like family such close friends and I'd likely do the same, but it also bothers me that they probably knew this for a very long time, and plopped it on me mid week. They said they loved the care I provided for him but they need to move him to more "structured program".
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Cat Herder 06:38 AM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
They said they loved the care I provided for him but they need to move him to more "structured program".
I am sorry , hun....

That is the way I term families here, too. "I can no longer meet your childs needs. You child will benefit greatly from a structured environment with more resources than I can offer. I recommend ***"

It translates to "your child needs more than one adult", "your child is not group play safe" OR "your child has outgrown my equipment".

At least she tried to do it the nicest way she could think of. I really think it had nothing to do with you at all.

DCM 1 simply see's an opportunity to get "special" for her son and herself.

DCM 2 thinks it will be easy, the hours will be flexible and will allow her all kinds of fun time with her own son.

We all know they are BOTH wrong.
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Meyou 06:38 AM 08-04-2011
Aw, don't take it personally. This isn't about you, it's about them.

I have a family that has one going to school next fall (2012) and already has their afterschool care arranged. I KNOW they will pull their youngest to go to the new sitter too but I also KNOW that they won't tell me until the two weeks notice is due next summer. The SA sitter is one street away and takes littles while I'm across the city. I've been friends with Mom for 20 years but I still know she won't give me extra notice or even consider that it would be a nice thing to do so I could have more time to replace the little one. I already have both spots filled which they don't know. I'm planning to approach them next June and require they sign a new contract for the fall so they'll be forced to tell me then. I don't want to wait until Aug 15, 2012 to "officially" find out what I already know. lol

I used to take it personally (when she tried to push my rules) but I realized if I keep it professional with them, they will be professional with me and it will all work out for the best.
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dEHmom 07:02 AM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
DCM 1 simply see's an opportunity to get "special" for her son and herself.

DCM 2 thinks it will be easy, the hours will be flexible and will allow her all kinds of fun time with her own son.

We all know they are BOTH wrong.
Thanks,
I can guarantee DCM #2 offered a fabulous rate. Even though she plans to charge 30/day for everyone else, I know the dcm #1 is getting a sweet deal. So I'm sure money is one factor here.
I just don't understand the structured part. Like they are 1.5 yrs old. I structure to age appropriateness.
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sharlan 08:19 AM 08-04-2011
Did the mom call you last night?
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Country Kids 08:28 AM 08-04-2011
What I bet dcm #2 has figured out is if her son has that many dr. appointments and she couldn't keep a job outside of the home because of that how is she going to do it while running daycare? Wait till she gets a parent that says "No, you can't transport" or if she does have a sub, the sub calls in one day and can't help the day of the appointment.
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dEHmom 10:16 AM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Did the mom call you last night?
nope! she had to work late and such. I have a feeling that it's just to explain why they are leaving and what not. Now that I had a sleep on it, I feel ok with it. I just hate the awkwardness now when dcd drops off.

I have already decided what to say when she phones and such, and I'll be nice and understand, but we are close enough to be honest, and I'll let her know that I'm hurt.

I also hate the feeling when someone knows something and you don't. kwim? where you might have said something, and they were thinking "we wont be here then anyway" but didn't say anything and just went along with it. or whatever you know? I know they haven't done anything wrong, and they weren't lying or anything, but it just feels that way. Like I said I can almost guarantee that they knew this for a few months now, and I'm sure DCM#1 designed and made the signs for DCM #2. Even though she promised me she was making me a sign, and not to bother ordering one because she would do it for free.
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Hunni Bee 08:15 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
ok to clarify a few questions i read so far...

current dcm #1 is best friends with the dcm#2 starting the new daycare

dcm #2 was enrolled, paid deposit brought dcb here a few times before realizing he needed more doctor appts etc and work wouldn't give her the opportunity to do all that so she couldn't go back to work, and decided to open a daycare.

current dcm #1 gave notice this morning they will be moving to the dcm #2's new daycare (they are best friends i totally understand that).

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the wording on the website stated she wasn't able to find the quality of childcare she was looking for for her son, thus opening one of her own. To me that felt personal but more than likely it was just appropriate wording for her site rather than disclosing medical issues with her son.


I texted dcm#2 to say why did you copy it. Then I emailed her saying it is copyright infringement, please remove it, wished her well, etc.

dcm #1 tried phoning this morning but i missed her call, she texted saying it's not text appropriate and she will call me later. I hope it is just regarding dcb leaving and such, but hope she's not mad that i called out dcm#2 on the copying.

Update: dcm #2 obviously received my email, and has since changed the wording. whew.
Okay...what I don't get is how is the website copying any of DCM #1's business? She doesn't get to be "mad" about it...and if she does call back wanting to talk about it, I wouldn't discuss a word of it with her.
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dEHmom 09:56 AM 08-05-2011
yeah, it doesn't have to do with her per say. what I don't understand though, is that they are best friends and dcm #1 is switching there, why would dcm #2 think it's ok to copy from me and not think dcm #1 wouldn't notice? lol.

plus I'm still sort of annoyed that dcm #1 made the sign for dcm #2 and didn't even let me know that she wasnt making mine. So this morning I ordered a big sign from Vistaprint. Hopefully it gets here by next week so I can post it and she can see and hopefully silently feel like crap that she never bothered to let me know she wasn't going to make mine.
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dEHmom 06:33 AM 08-11-2011
UGH! ok, so for a long time now it seems at least 1 day a week dcb #1 isn't here. They say gma is taking him, but I am highly suspicious that they are weaning/transitioning him into the new daycare. That's fine, although I hope he's just as bratty there as he has been here lately. He just finished hitting me for the 3rd time today because he is mad.

I know this sounds really bad, but I hope he is happy at the new daycare but I am secretly hoping he still dislikes the new provider. He often avoids her when she is around because he doesn't really like her. I have a feeling she is too nice and fake, and he'll pick up on that right away. But she has a whole daycare area so it's not like he's going to get into her stuff like he does here sometimes.

He had a total melt down this morning when dcd dropped him off, which he never does. Normally it's me saying, hey you want to see the puppies, and we walk toward the kitchen, open the gate together and dcd goes out the door. this morning he was not willing to leave daddy. He screamed and put up a good fight. Part of it is he is sick, part of it is he is teething, and the rest is he is quite spoiled.
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Unregistered 06:54 AM 08-11-2011
I understand that it is hard to get wording right for advertising as on a website, but by her stealing yours tells me she doesnt know enough about the business to write her own stuff!!!
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Tags:advertisement, advertising, business ethics, competition, websites
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