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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child's Temperament Different From Providers
RachelDaycare 05:30 AM 08-22-2011
I took a training several years ago about temperament. I tend to be a quiet, reserved, sensitive person. Therefore when I get a child in my daycare that demands alot of my attention, more in the verbal sense than physical I feel alot of anxiety,
For me it is important to remember that about myself when I find myself feeling frustrated with some children more than others.
I have a little girl who is going on four who has been with me for several months now. I have her and her two year old sister. The three year old is very bouncy and talks all the time. She must say my name at least a hundred times a day, I find myself answering her all the time and then wondering why by her being here an hour I am wiped out.
She is also one to misbehave to get my attention.
When I take the time to think about it with my head instead of my emotions I look back over the last twenty years and can think of several children who had the same temperament who drove me nuts. It is always important for me to not hurt a childs feelings or their ego.
So what I need is help coping with a child who has a temperament different than me, I get over stimulated quite easily and want to be able to enjoy the day and have everyone happy
Rachel
For me it is important to remember that about myself when I find myself feeling frustrated with some children more than others.
I have a little girl who is going on four who has been with me for several months now. I have her and her two year old sister. The three year old is very bouncy and talks all the time. She must say my name at least a hundred times a day, I find myself answering her all the time and then wondering why by her being here an hour I am wiped out.
She is also one to misbehave to get my attention.
When I take the time to think about it with my head instead of my emotions I look back over the last twenty years and can think of several children who had the same temperament who drove me nuts. It is always important for me to not hurt a childs feelings or their ego.
So what I need is help coping with a child who has a temperament different than me, I get over stimulated quite easily and want to be able to enjoy the day and have everyone happy
Rachel
Cat Herder 09:02 AM 08-22-2011
Have you considered limiting your services to the Newborn to Three year old group?
Maybe finding a specific niche group like more artistic children will help.
I know from experience that the quieter, more thoughtful/reflective children tend to get over run by their peers in large centers.
If you find a way to market to that specific clientel...you may find a great amount of interest and get to LOVE your job.
This would work well, especially, if you have a planned curriculum to help them build confidence/assertiveness for going to school with large, loud groups of kids later.
THAT would be something pretty spectacular that parents would go for, IMHO.
Maybe finding a specific niche group like more artistic children will help.
I know from experience that the quieter, more thoughtful/reflective children tend to get over run by their peers in large centers.
If you find a way to market to that specific clientel...you may find a great amount of interest and get to LOVE your job.
This would work well, especially, if you have a planned curriculum to help them build confidence/assertiveness for going to school with large, loud groups of kids later.
THAT would be something pretty spectacular that parents would go for, IMHO.
cheerfuldom 09:18 AM 08-22-2011
yeah but what is she supposed to do if one child fits in but the other sibling doesn't...they are sort of a package deal at this point.
RachelDaycare 10:20 AM 08-22-2011
I think that part of the problem for me is that she is the oldest in my group, so I kind of expect her to behave. She is a high energy child, she loves to pester her sister, and yes they are a package deal.
One of my boys when he was young had adhd, he is now 25 and I remember that feeling of frustration raising him. He and his younger brother are two years apart and were wild like that together. So I think that high energy kids push my buttons like my boys used to.
I have to say that the fact that my new 4 month old fussed all morning didn't help.
This three year old I have to say is just an instigator to the group for busyness, inside and out. I am hoping she gets into preschool in a couple of weeks but if she doesnt we will manage
Rachel
One of my boys when he was young had adhd, he is now 25 and I remember that feeling of frustration raising him. He and his younger brother are two years apart and were wild like that together. So I think that high energy kids push my buttons like my boys used to.
I have to say that the fact that my new 4 month old fussed all morning didn't help.
This three year old I have to say is just an instigator to the group for busyness, inside and out. I am hoping she gets into preschool in a couple of weeks but if she doesnt we will manage
Rachel
Cat Herder 10:32 AM 08-22-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
yeah but what is she supposed to do if one child fits in but the other sibling doesn't...they are sort of a package deal at this point.
Keeping a child you don't like does no good for anyone. We all know that. yeah but what is she supposed to do if one child fits in but the other sibling doesn't...they are sort of a package deal at this point.
Keeping a child you don't want around just because you can't afford to let them go is also no good for anyone.
There are no easy answers.
I would hope, for the childs sake, that nobody would keep a child that they know they just don't like. The child WILL KNOW. That much I can promise.
OP, That is not aimed at you. It is a general statement. I think you are trying quite hard to make this work.
There are many that do just keep them and then resent their days. There is a stigma attached to us being able to admit we don't like a kid.
You have obviously been in this field long enough to know what I am talking about.
I just want you to think about a change. It is nice after having paid your dues to get to find your own niche. It is so peaceful...
cheerfuldom 10:42 AM 08-22-2011
My oldest daughter is 3.5 and the oldest of my group of kids. She is also very high energy and talkative. Use her leadership skills to your advantage. Give her jobs to do. Have her be the line leader and announcer when its time for an activity. Start teaching her how to wipe down the lunch table and such so she has challenging outlets for her energy. Find some "big girl" stuff that is just for her and makes her feel special. That works for mine really well! The next oldest here is barely 2 so my oldest really needs a challenge from being around babies all day.
RachelDaycare 10:53 AM 08-22-2011
Those are all really good ideas. The thing is that I don't dislike her at all. She reminds me of myself as a child actually. This morning I had her go in the kitchen by herself to color and she did a great job, gave the littles a break from her and her a break from them.
Rachel
Rachel
Cat Herder 11:08 AM 08-22-2011
Originally Posted by RachelDaycare:
She reminds me of myself as a child actually.
Oh, no.....She reminds me of myself as a child actually.
Those are the worst!!!
I had a mini-me once, too...
Wore me out....Maybe start suggesting how all the fun play equipment at the big center would be such an awesome thing for the oldest...
cheerfuldom 12:43 PM 08-22-2011
ha ha, my middle daughter is my mini-me. My mom loves that karma has come around to bite me. We jokingly suggest that we send our middle daughter around with the teens we know and after one day with her, they will think twice about having kids anytime soon! My middle one is very loud, stubborn and a big ol crybaby but she is over the top cute and charming so its a dangerous combo
MommyMuffin 02:12 PM 08-22-2011
I understand completely! I am an intoverted person and too many noises make me uncomfortable.
My daughter is the child who is LOUD, always calling my name, picking fights with anyone she can.
She reminds me of myself also. Bossy, stubborn, awesome verbal skills! I think she has my traits but is an extrovert.
I dont have any advice. I tend to separate her from the group a lot; beause she is being too aggressive or because I want to spend some individual time with her. This seems to help her a little.
My daughter is the child who is LOUD, always calling my name, picking fights with anyone she can.
She reminds me of myself also. Bossy, stubborn, awesome verbal skills! I think she has my traits but is an extrovert.
I dont have any advice. I tend to separate her from the group a lot; beause she is being too aggressive or because I want to spend some individual time with her. This seems to help her a little.
CheekyChick 02:33 PM 08-22-2011
Originally Posted by RachelDaycare:
I took a training several years ago about temperament. I tend to be a quiet, reserved, sensitive person. Therefore when I get a child in my daycare that demands alot of my attention, more in the verbal sense than physical I feel alot of anxiety,
For me it is important to remember that about myself when I find myself feeling frustrated with some children more than others.
I have a little girl who is going on four who has been with me for several months now. I have her and her two year old sister. The three year old is very bouncy and talks all the time. She must say my name at least a hundred times a day, I find myself answering her all the time and then wondering why by her being here an hour I am wiped out.
She is also one to misbehave to get my attention.
When I take the time to think about it with my head instead of my emotions I look back over the last twenty years and can think of several children who had the same temperament who drove me nuts. It is always important for me to not hurt a childs feelings or their ego.
So what I need is help coping with a child who has a temperament different than me, I get over stimulated quite easily and want to be able to enjoy the day and have everyone happy
Rachel
I feel for you... I have had several children like that who absolutely sucked me dry within minutes of their arrival. Even though they are challenging, I have a heart for them because they are lacking attention at home. The only encouragement I can give you is this: She will eventually go to kindergarten. LOL!!! Hang in there. I took a training several years ago about temperament. I tend to be a quiet, reserved, sensitive person. Therefore when I get a child in my daycare that demands alot of my attention, more in the verbal sense than physical I feel alot of anxiety,
For me it is important to remember that about myself when I find myself feeling frustrated with some children more than others.
I have a little girl who is going on four who has been with me for several months now. I have her and her two year old sister. The three year old is very bouncy and talks all the time. She must say my name at least a hundred times a day, I find myself answering her all the time and then wondering why by her being here an hour I am wiped out.
She is also one to misbehave to get my attention.
When I take the time to think about it with my head instead of my emotions I look back over the last twenty years and can think of several children who had the same temperament who drove me nuts. It is always important for me to not hurt a childs feelings or their ego.
So what I need is help coping with a child who has a temperament different than me, I get over stimulated quite easily and want to be able to enjoy the day and have everyone happy
Rachel
