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Old 05-30-2019, 03:46 PM
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Default Unruly 18 Month Old Stressing Me Out

Guys, today was bad. Just a no good awful day. In fact, the past couple weeks with dcg 18 months have been horrific. She screams at the top of her lungs anytime I correct her which is a lot. If I have to pick her up to move her she falls limp, screams and flails. She hits other dcg out of no where. Today she bashed her on the face with toy truck. She throws her food. She kicks my cat. My poor innocent cat. Now here is where I am completely over the top angry. I tell dad about these things and he says she acts like this all the time, then the idiot tells me it's because she is hungry🤨 wtf? Seriously? I said NOWAY. She ate plenty. That is his excuse tho, she is HUNGRY followed by taking her to the park for reward at pick up. Guys, I know she is just 18 months old but her behaviors are escalating. What do you ladies do in situations like this? I mean if I have to spend my days like this for much longer with no parental help I will term.
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Old 05-30-2019, 05:51 PM
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I tell the parents that we need to come up with a behaviour management plan that we both stick to or I will have to terminate care. I also inquire about how they handle this at home and how much screen time she gets.
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Old 05-31-2019, 03:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
I tell the parents that we need to come up with a behaviour management plan that we both stick to or I will have to terminate care. I also inquire about how they handle this at home and how much screen time she gets.
I completely agree with this. If the parents are willing to excuse and reward her behaviors, she'll learn nothing. Plus with the dynamics being different at your daycare, having to compete for attention with others, it will just get worse. I think I'd keep her separate for a few minutes after each incident, saying NO firmly, show a lot of empathy for her victim, teach her how to play nice instead of constant aggression. My 2 yo dcb who just started a different dc, was a very aggressive little boy here, but on his first day in a new place, was called a gem. He had been acting like that for about 6 months and wasn't changing. It was truly a tough situation.
There are lots of reasons she could be acting this way, hunger, fatigue, attention...hard to figure out what it is and how to change it.
Your dcg may do better someplace else(nothing against you at all!) or she may grow through this phase in time. Life is short; only you know how much you can take. Plus your priority is keeping everyone safe.
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Old 05-31-2019, 07:02 AM
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I just termed 2- yes 2!- kiddos from the same family for several reasons. That's half of my income! It's been 3 days without them and I have realized even more so that my peace has no price. It feels so good to actually WANT to open up my shades in the morning. To actually enjoy my home and my job again. I've got one of the spots filled starting Monday and we'll see about the 4th. I'll cut back here and there to make it work, but I tried to make it work for 9 months. The final straw was when they decided to follow an alternate diet overnight without any medical reason. It was never a good fit with the parents anyway and there were behavioral issues but I was just done after that. Longest 2 week notice of my life!

So, it's up to you how you handle it but if there's no support from the parents, you're going to have a hard time. If you want to stick it out, keeping the little one close by and separated for a bit after an incident is your best bet. It never fazed my 18 month old dcb though. He'd barrel right back into the situation.
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Old 05-31-2019, 07:09 AM
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One of the perks of this business is I get to decide what stresses I deal with and which ones I don't.

That is one I wouldnt deal with.
Not for any amount of money.

I've realized as I age and due to some life altering experiences that not everything in life is my job to fix and that I actually do get to choose what I allow to stress me out.

The income from one child in my opinion is not worth the stress that child causes.

It's not a child care providers job to fix other people's children. ESPECIALLY if the parents aren't doing a majority of the hard work.

It's okay for you to term.
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Old 05-31-2019, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
I tell the parents that we need to come up with a behaviour management plan that we both stick to or I will have to terminate care. I also inquire about how they handle this at home and how much screen time she gets.
I took this advice and told these parents we need to come up with a plan. I told them we have two weeks and improvements must start to show. This scenario seemed to get the ball rolling as they see I will not deal with their child's escalating behavior. Thank you for the help!
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Old 05-31-2019, 10:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
One of the perks of this business is I get to decide what stresses I deal with and which ones I don't.

That is one I wouldnt deal with.
Not for any amount of money.

I've realized as I age and due to some life altering experiences that not everything in life is my job to fix and that I actually do get to choose what I allow to stress me out.

The income from one child in my opinion is not worth the stress that child causes.

It's not a child care providers job to fix other people's children. ESPECIALLY if the parents aren't doing a majority of the hard work.

It's okay for you to term.
Thank you for this. It makes ALL the sense! I told parents two weeks to see improvement or I will term. I too am getting older and less tolerant.
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Old 05-31-2019, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie928 View Post
I took this advice and told these parents we need to come up with a plan. I told them we have two weeks and improvements must start to show. This scenario seemed to get the ball rolling as they see I will not deal with their child's escalating behavior. Thank you for the help!
Good for you! I hope they take you seriously
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