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  #1  
Old 10-04-2012, 11:08 AM
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I'm logged out for privacy. Okay, I volunteered at daycare over the summer to help with credits for school. I ended at the end of Aug. Director would like me to come back next summer too, but I'm having issues with this Okay, there were 4 classes, 2-3 yr olds, 4-5 yr olds ,kindergarten kids and school aged kids (1-5th grade) When it was bathroom time, the kids line up by their classes. There are 2 bathrooms. The one person took the 2/3 yr olds. 2 at at time. While 1 was using the potty the other was getting ready to go next. Pulling down pants and undies/pullups. They were in the same bathroom, door is open. But toilet is behind the door. Now, here is where I went totally speechless. The 4/5 yr olds stood in a line, in the bathroom, there is a toilet which has a wall/door, and a urinal. All the kids were in the bathroom (boys/girls) the girls went into the toilet 2 at a time, One used the toilet while the other girl had her pants/undies down to go next, door to toilet is opened. When the girl using the toilet was done, she came out to wash her hands, and the next girl went while another girl got herself ready (pull down pants,etc) while this is going on, the boys are using the urinal. They don't just pull it out of their underwear, they pull down their pants and underwear, exposing the rear ends to the other boys and girls as well. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. Sometimes the kindy age did this too, if lunch time ran a little long and they wanted to hurry up bathroom time so the kids could lay down for quiet time. The older school age kids don't do that but some of the boys have to sit to pee because they will aim at anything but the urinal. I didn't have to do the bathroom trips very often because I would get the cots ready and clean up from lunch. I think these kids are too old to be seeing each other's body. Am I wrong?
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  #2  
Old 10-04-2012, 12:53 PM
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All I can say is.. WOW... I'm completely speachless!!!!
My mouth was hanging open while reading your post..

First of all.. I'm NOT a facility style daycare.. I'm a LICENSED HOME..
I have 1 restroom... with 1 toilet...
1 sink....

We don't have a specified 'bathroom' time...
We go potty when we say we need to go potty...
When we come inside from playing on the playground.. we line up.. sitting down on the floor outside the restroom door.....
Any child that is in diapers.. I change them... then assist that child with hand washing.. wash my own hands.. and next ...
If the child is potty trained.. I step out...
We CLOSE the door to go potty..
That is a HUGE rule here.
I teach my kids from an early age that 'none of us need to see YOUR STUFF'...
THAT is PRIVATE...
if a child is nervous about the door being closed completely. or...if they aren't able to turn the door knob on their own.. then we close it about 3/4... enough to block the view of the kids in the room from seeing them potty...
All of my children know the rule...
They will tell on each other..
so and so went to potty and didn't shut the door.. then they'll say..
We don't want to see you potty!!!

I'm sorry.. but I disagree with the child in line having their pants/panties down...just standing there in front of another child ... waiting..
I realize that when you have allot of children that need to potty.. you need to do things to expedite the process.. but still.. are you kidding me? I would NOT be ok with this as a parent.. I can't imagine this is ok with any licensing organization.
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Old 10-04-2012, 01:14 PM
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That is disgusting to me.

We value privacy very much at my home and this would not have ever happened. Bathroom doors are closed when they are being used, diapered childred are changed one at a time in privacy away from any other children, and no one ever sees anyone else's "business".

I would not be okay if my child is seeing another girls or boys body parts during bathroom breaks. Especially for children that age.

I've worked in a daycare facility and I know how tough it is when there is a class full of little ones who need to use the bathroom or need diaper changes, but never did we have another child in the bathroom with another at any point in time. I can understand not being able to close the doors as it was against regulations at the daycare where I worked, but I'd stand in front of the door while the little ones went potty and block the view of other children.

All children NEED privacy.
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Old 10-04-2012, 01:33 PM
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Should I report and if so, who or where do I go?
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Old 10-04-2012, 01:44 PM
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I think they way they did it was a little off, but i will tell you my edperience. When my oldest was in dc center they had 2 bathrooms. One for the girls and one for the boys. The class would line up (only one class at a time. They all had diff sxhedules) and the firls would go in their potty and the boys in their. There was 5 or 6 toilets in each bathroom and a teacher would stand right outside the door and keep an eye on them making sure they washed hands etc. With the door partially closed. They would finish and the next grouo would go in. I always felt that was a little odd but it never bnothered me cause they were seperate. Now biys and girls in the same bathroom? Not cool imho. In the dc i worked in the toddlers had two stalls in their bathroom and they would send two.children.in at once but they were the same sex. Then get then all cleaned up and out and then send the next two.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I'm logged out for privacy. Okay, I volunteered at daycare over the summer to help with credits for school. I ended at the end of Aug. Director would like me to come back next summer too, but I'm having issues with this Okay, there were 4 classes, 2-3 yr olds, 4-5 yr olds ,kindergarten kids and school aged kids (1-5th grade) When it was bathroom time, the kids line up by their classes. There are 2 bathrooms. The one person took the 2/3 yr olds. 2 at at time. While 1 was using the potty the other was getting ready to go next. Pulling down pants and undies/pullups. They were in the same bathroom, door is open. But toilet is behind the door. Now, here is where I went totally speechless. The 4/5 yr olds stood in a line, in the bathroom, there is a toilet which has a wall/door, and a urinal. All the kids were in the bathroom (boys/girls) the girls went into the toilet 2 at a time, One used the toilet while the other girl had her pants/undies down to go next, door to toilet is opened. When the girl using the toilet was done, she came out to wash her hands, and the next girl went while another girl got herself ready (pull down pants,etc) while this is going on, the boys are using the urinal. They don't just pull it out of their underwear, they pull down their pants and underwear, exposing the rear ends to the other boys and girls as well. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. Sometimes the kindy age did this too, if lunch time ran a little long and they wanted to hurry up bathroom time so the kids could lay down for quiet time. The older school age kids don't do that but some of the boys have to sit to pee because they will aim at anything but the urinal. I didn't have to do the bathroom trips very often because I would get the cots ready and clean up from lunch. I think these kids are too old to be seeing each other's body. Am I wrong?
Maybe I should log out (LOL).....My kids see each other all the time, yep naked. Well not completely. We do not make a big deal about it. They are kids. They are not sexual. They have respect for each other. They do not stare at each other. If fact, they could care less. Kids will make a big deal out of it when adults act innappropraitely by making a big deal out of kids going potty with the door open. Adults are feeding kids a message they do not understand. I do not allow my bathroom door to be shut. kids can get into alot of mischief inside a bathroom including clogging my toilet. So....I don't make an issue out of it....and neither do the kids or parents. Funny...people panick over silly things sometimes.
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Old 10-04-2012, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by MissAnn View Post
Maybe I should log out (LOL).....My kids see each other all the time, yep naked. Well not completely. We do not make a big deal about it. They are kids. They are not sexual. They have respect for each other. They do not stare at each other. If fact, they could care less. Kids will make a big deal out of it when adults act innappropraitely by making a big deal out of kids going potty with the door open. Adults are feeding kids a message they do not understand. I do not allow my bathroom door to be shut. kids can get into alot of mischief inside a bathroom including clogging my toilet. So....I don't make an issue out of it....and neither do the kids or parents. Funny...people panick over silly things sometimes.
Being naked isn't appropriate for any age, any child, if front of anyone other than family. Why are they called "private parts" if they aren't meant to be exactly that - private. This isn't a about sexualizing children, this is about common sense. You don't see children wondering outside naked, do you?

It's probably because being naked is okay at home with only family, not for the whole world to see. Daycare would classify as "not family".

OP, it's obvious that you aren't comfortable with the bathroom procedures that this daycare follows, so it's probably best if you find another facility to volunteer at. Boys and girls aren't meant to be in the same bathroom in the same time while half-naked. It's disturbing that the nonchalant attitude is "okay"

I think parents should get the choice to decide where they think being naked is appropriate for their children.
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Old 10-04-2012, 04:12 PM
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Should I report and if so, who or where do I go?
I find it disturbing too. You just need to call your local licensing office. Let them decide if it's inappropriate or not. My guess is they will. Do the parents know how bathroom breaks are done?
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  #9  
Old 10-04-2012, 04:13 PM
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The University of North Texas has a great Early Childhood program that teachers use for observation hours and parents use as Preschool. There is a 3/4-year-old class that has a bathroom that can be viewed by everyone observing (above the room through a dark screen) and other children who walk in and out as needed. There are swinging doors on it and a half wall surrounding it. It is one, big square with two toilets and two sinks. Basically, everybody can see everything.
At that age, I don't think it is such a huge deal.

But, for elementary aged children? Yes, I do.
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Old 10-04-2012, 04:33 PM
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You would have to see how it works here. The bathroom is not in full view of the whole daycare. The kids don't sit there staring while waiting for their turn. We are singing songs or just talking. No one sees anything full view. It's very innocent. It is not disturbing. Our rules and regs say we need to supervise for toileting and handwashing. That does not mean I stand there staring either. I walk by and glance. No big deal.
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  #11  
Old 10-04-2012, 04:40 PM
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Logged out for privacy....

When I was a child in a daycare center this is how things were done....and then at some point the teachers got lazy and we all still were expected to herd in like cattle and do our business together, just unsupervised.

I ended up being sexually assaulted many times between the ages of 3 and 5 because of that.

It's why I was never able to stomach putting my own children in daycare and is EXACTLY why I do daycare today. People are idiots and kids end up hurt by blatant negligence. I want to help keep as many as I can safe with the life God gave me. It's the only thing that's helped me to heal a bit from what I endured during that time in my life.


I would never allow kids to walk around my daycare naked or allow them to be naked around with each other. It blurs the line in the mind of the child in regards to what should be private and what shouldn't. If they can be naked around providers, and all those other kids, and that becomes normal to be that way outside of at home, how do they develop the sense of privacy needed to protect themselves should they ever end up in a similar but inappropriate situation elsewhere? To know that that's not a normal or acceptable situation, to be naked with someone outside of the home, how are they going to learn they should tell mom and dad if they ever are put in that kind of danger? I had no idea that what was happening to me was wrong. There were no limits. I saw other peoples genitals and they saw mine multiple times a day. Touching wasn't a leap big enough beyond that to raise any alarms in the mind of a toddler. If someone would have said my privates were supposed to be private I'd have known something was wrong and very likely would have said something that very well could have stopped it.

Not to mention, like it or not, we live in a report and sue happy society. Get one parent weirded out by it and you are literally asking to lose everything.


OP - go with your gut. Anyone that cares for kids should consider themselves a mandated reporter even if the law doesn't. If something feels wrong you need to go with that and take the steps necessary to put a stop to what's going on. Whether that means going to licensing, calling CPS or even having a conversation with the center director directly is up to you.

Thank you for not just standing idly by when you witnessed something that really bothered you. Kids need people like you to stand up for them when other adults fail to see a problem with what's going on.


Good luck however you proceed.
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  #12  
Old 10-04-2012, 04:47 PM
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Should I report and if so, who or where do I go?
Licensing just might remind you that safety is first and foremost. Preschoolers in a shut bathroom? Oh just think of the possibilities! Falling would be a biggie. Clogging my toilet would be a little less of a worry....but still a worry.
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Old 10-04-2012, 05:01 PM
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I don't think the issue is so much the door being cracked open, but the fact that one child is going to the bathroom while another is standing there with their pants down and there are boys are girls going in front of each other. I find that odd.
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Old 10-04-2012, 05:09 PM
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I don't think the issue is so much the door being cracked open, but the fact that one child is going to the bathroom while another is standing there with their pants down and there are boys are girls going in front of each other. I find that odd.
I had a hard time picturing it....but yes, assembly line of pee-ers does seem a little odd.
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Old 10-04-2012, 06:40 PM
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This daycare has been in business for 4 yrs and some of the kids have been there since day 1. I find it odd that none of the workers had a problem with that. I do know that they don't seem to be able to keep a director.

The owners (who are hands on) and the other workers are very strict. I didn't seem to mesh well because I believe kids should be kids and they shouldn't have to be nagged over every little thing. I mean, if they were at the table for lunch and if a child didn't have their backs to the back of the chair, or they were getting a little antsy, they were scolded. I don't know, maybe I'm too laid back. I've heard some of the kids say the owner is very mean, they aren't allowed to do anything.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:44 AM
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I don't know what to say to OP but wow! Really, boys & girls together in the bathroom, with their pants down waiting? I don't know what to say, I'm speechless.
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Old 10-10-2012, 01:57 PM
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Standing around with their pants pulled down ready to go is weird. There's no reason to do that. I owned a group center and things have to be done a bit by group, but not to this extent. For goodness sake! They need to address their schedule and the need to warehouse kids like this...it sounds like they are just a number. Hurry, hurry, line up, stand around with your pants down, etc. How fast do they need to get through this toilet time that they have to stand around with their pants down....again, WEIRD. If they do this what other quality issues are there?
I have even a stranger child care story. My husband went to see his grandson at a group center and was coming in the front door near the office. Some 2's were coming in from outside and they were naked! The were walking down the hall and one girl came up to him and started talking to him and then gave him a high-5. Totally naked...NOW THAT'S WEIRD. I guess they had been swimming outside and the teacher took off their suits outside. Why wouldn't she dry them off and then go to their room and change....
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:38 PM
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It sounds like a very institutionalized place.

I worked for a Center and we never had that. Boys and Girls were never in together in a bathroom unless they were just washing hands.

Part of the joy of having an assistant is that when a child has to go, the assistant takes them and the Teacher can continue teaching.

On Pool days they may have seen some skin - but boys in one room and girls in the other.

The above post about the Nudie Dudies coming in from outside is really weird!
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:14 PM
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What about a classroom that just has a toilet in it? Like, no doors, or dividers or anything.

I would assume it's okay, since they are licensed and I'm sure have had walk throughs. It just seemed so weird to me.
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissAnn View Post
Maybe I should log out (LOL).....My kids see each other all the time, yep naked. Well not completely. We do not make a big deal about it. They are kids. They are not sexual. They have respect for each other. They do not stare at each other. If fact, they could care less. Kids will make a big deal out of it when adults act innappropraitely by making a big deal out of kids going potty with the door open. Adults are feeding kids a message they do not understand. I do not allow my bathroom door to be shut. kids can get into alot of mischief inside a bathroom including clogging my toilet. So....I don't make an issue out of it....and neither do the kids or parents. Funny...people panick over silly things sometimes.
LOL, maybe I should log out before answering too! Sorry, but I agree with MissAnn on this one. When I do diaper changes I corral everyone into the nap/diaper room and close the door so I know they're all safe and in one place where I can see them all. I change each one on the changing table while the others play around at my feet, look out the window, lay on bed, or even talk to the child getting changed and hand them toys/diaper, etc. No one is staring or embarrassed. The only one I send away is the 5 year old because YES I think that is too old for him to be seeing everyone, plus he's at a height where he can actually see at the changing table height and it's just too up close and personal. Kids that dont' wear diapers don't need to be in the room for that.

When my DS uses the potty (been doing some elimination communication since he was 5 weeks old, 13 months now) the other kids love to come in and cheer him on. He LOVES it and it keeps him from fussing on the toilet. The 2s that are potty training like to have visitors and I sit right next to them on the bathtub side and help them with their pants and TP. However, when the 4 or 5 year old use the bathroom, it's door shut and I don't allow the littles to go in.

I think it's basically that at the age the child starts to REQUEST privacy or demonstrate some kind of modesty then I absolutely respect that and let them have it. But the littles? They don't have a clue and I think it helps them learn from each other.

But, OP, having them full monty right in front of each other seems too far. Not because of the naked issue necessarily, but I just think it's plain rude. The child using the toilet feels rushed, and the kid who's already dropped trow, well, I'm surpsised they don't just pee on themselves/the floor while waiting!
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Old 10-11-2012, 08:11 AM
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I think it's basically that at the age the child starts to REQUEST privacy or demonstrate some kind of modesty then I absolutely respect that and let them have it. But the littles? They don't have a clue and I think it helps them learn from each other.

But, OP, having them full monty right in front of each other seems too far. Not because of the naked issue necessarily, but I just think it's plain rude. The child using the toilet feels rushed, and the kid who's already dropped trow, well, I'm surpsised they don't just pee on themselves/the floor while waiting!
I agree with this.

I'm a home setting. Once they ask for privacy, or EARN a closed bathroom door, they get it. I.E. I have a 4 year old I would like to have the door closed when he's using the bathroom, but then he gets "creative" in the bathroom. School agers close doors for sure.

When my 2 or 3 year olds are using the potty, I let the toddlers see from time to time, it is helpful for pre-potty training skills (hmmm...my friends can do that, I should, too). Diapers are changed in the main play area. None of the other kids pay any attention, and I am still able to monitor the kids playing.
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Old 10-11-2012, 09:55 AM
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My issue with this isn't so much having the children using the washroom together or seeing private parts as much as it is that the children are clearly being forced to take their pants down in front of people. Sounds like a breeding ground for confusing blurred lines about valuing self and future issues with being able to assert "NO!" when a sexually inappropriate situation were to come up.

As a parent I would be livid if I knew my child was being subjected to such negligent lazy care.

Yes, you need to call. That situation is absolutely against any licensing regulation I have ever heard. You could be held responsible too when a parent finds out about this and presses criminal charges.

I emailed a friend who is a social worker in Canada this link and she was as disgusted as I was. Help those poor children and call licensing. If they don't listen call the police. Again it's not the children using the same washroom but that they have been trained to stand with their pants down in front of people which is breaking down their natural "no, this isn't right" instinct which will lead to further issues.

Last edited by Michael; 10-11-2012 at 12:38 PM.
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Old 10-11-2012, 10:42 AM
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This is what happens when state ratios are extremely high!. The ratio for 2s in TX is 22:1. Could you imagine chasing 22 toddlers around all day? Teachers are exhausted by lunch, and just want the kids to potty ASAP, and get on their nap mats. I could never see myself doing something like this. The last year I worked in a commercial center I was put in a room with 28-5 year olds when the state ratio is 22:1. I was over ratio, but not once did I do something like this, and I had no co-teacher. I let each child lay on their mat with a book as I called them in one by one. Then they put away their books, went potty, and went back to their mats for nap. Sure it was tiring, but it was right. But you can't expect everyone to have the same code of ethics. I would report this. I have a 4 year old daughter, and I would never want her to be in a situation like that!
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Old 10-11-2012, 12:35 PM
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You would have to see how it works here. The bathroom is not in full view of the whole daycare. The kids don't sit there staring while waiting for their turn. We are singing songs or just talking. No one sees anything full view. It's very innocent. It is not disturbing. Our rules and regs say we need to supervise for toileting and handwashing. That does not mean I stand there staring either. I walk by and glance. No big deal.
I'm a bit middle of the road here on this. Nudity in general does not bother me in the least...my family is German, and I was raised with a certain amount of non-chalance about the whole thing. Someone said you wouldn't let children run around naked outside...well, in most European countries, until they are school-aged, that would not be a big deal at all! I know...we don't live in Europe!

That being said, I take a middle-of-the-road approach. If a child closes the door, I'm ok with that if I feel they are not going to mess around. For myself, I usually close it 3/4 and leave the light off when the kids are here, so they can't see anything but I can see out ok. If a child leaves the door open the whole way, I usually pull it shut part of the way to block the view. Not freaking out..."you probably want a little privacy"...

I change diapers in a more private area, and if another child comes over and noses around a little too much, I just say "so and so needs his privacy, can you go find something else to do?" A single question...yeah, that's fine. A full viewing with multiple questions...not so much.

Hey, if we all wore hats every day, sooner or later, the kids would be pulling off each others hats to see what's underneath. Ever where a pair of sunglasses around a little kid? What happens?

As for OP....it sounds like the whole situation is being managed for the convenience of the teachers, with no respect for the children at all. To me, it's not about a little peek of someone else's body, it's more about the fact that they are being herded like cattle....
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Old 08-03-2019, 04:33 AM
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Maybe I should log out (LOL).....My kids see each other all the time, yep naked. Well not completely. We do not make a big deal about it. They are kids. They are not sexual. They have respect for each other. They do not stare at each other. If fact, they could care less. Kids will make a big deal out of it when adults act innappropraitely by making a big deal out of kids going potty with the door open. Adults are feeding kids a message they do not understand. I do not allow my bathroom door to be shut. kids can get into alot of mischief inside a bathroom including clogging my toilet. So....I don't make an issue out of it....and neither do the kids or parents. Funny...people panick over silly things sometimes.



Yeah girl but your kids are siblings...how would u feel if your little girl was using the bathroom in front of strange boys and vice versa?
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Old 08-03-2019, 04:19 PM
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I work at a center. 3 toilets in the bathroom. I send one teacher with 3 boys first, they go, do there business (one on each potty), they get down one at a time, get a new pull up and wash. Then they line up on there squares by the door. These are 1-2 year olds. When the boys come back, the girls go next. Never do the sexes go together.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:59 PM
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All children NEED privacy.
The first post shows very clearly that they don't. It is adults who want to teach them to NEED PRIVACY even when they absolutely don't need it yet.
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Old 08-03-2019, 09:17 PM
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Wow this post is OLD.

But preschoolers are fine in open bathrooms. Many centers do. I worked in one with 2 toilets because back in the day they did 2 but they changed the rule and only used one. It had a door, no lock.
I have a problem with standing there pants down waiting. Weird and awkward.
I have a problem with school agers. That said I used to work in a center with an old building and the bathrooms were open with 3 stalls but separated by gender. This was for ages 1-school age, depending on which group went in. Never mixed ages. I didnt particularly care for this. One girl used the private bathroom (one classroom had one and it was also the staff bathroom) probably because she or her parents fought for privacy.
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Old 08-05-2019, 04:11 AM
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tlemother tlemother is online now
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I worked at a center that had 10 tiny toilets in one room no walls...just 5 toilets on one side, 5 on the other facing each other. No privacy at all. Kids would be sent in groups to go to the bathroom.
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