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Unregistered 04:29 PM 04-24-2014
I have a pair of twin 4 year old boys, today was the 2nd time here. This is what happened today with 1 of the boys..
wouldn't stay in the playroom
kept opening my safety gates and going into the off limits areas
was not listening to instruction at all
stomping on and breaking toys
throwing toys at the window and walls
wouldn't sit on his bum in the chairs, kept standing up on them
locked the bathroom door 2-3 times after he was asked not to ( i had to find something to jimmy the lock open)
When put in time out sat and smirked and had a sassy mouth

This all happened in the space of 3 hours.... I called for pickup cuz I wasn't going to deal with this any longer. The other twin follows along with his sibling.... I was so upset that I was shaking..Do you think this can be worked with?
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roxy1 05:37 PM 04-24-2014
I had a similar child here once. She was 3 1/2 and I stuck it out for a month (my probationary period) and ended it after she was holding my 9 mo old sons hand down against his stroller and slapping it repeatedly. Even though it was over half my income at the time, my sanity and all the childrens safety were at risk. Maybe they are just getting used to the limits in your place but if it continues... you are not paid enough to handle this kind of behavior!
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Tdhmom 05:57 PM 04-24-2014
Just from personal experience..****N, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! The boy you're describing is the set of twins I have (they're 5 and boy and girl) and I have stuck it out since august....I have a countdown until they are out of my house and I only have 15 days left!!!!

They have a couple days a week when they fit right in...the other days make me want to beat my head against a wall!!
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Tdhmom 05:58 PM 04-24-2014
I wasn't cussing all I was saying was run run as fast as you can!!! Haha not sure why it was blurred
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EntropyControlSpecialist 07:30 PM 04-24-2014
That is reslly out of control for a 4yo. Yes, I would term.
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lynne 07:38 PM 04-24-2014
I'm the OP just registered.... I have 4 kids of my own and my first was a live wire, but in all my years of childcare I've never seen this kind of behavour.. I keep telling myself that I need to put this back on the parents ( great advice from here) I'm going to call mom tomorrow and term, I guess I feel like I've failed these kids. It really comes down to safety of my other kids.
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cheerfuldom 10:17 PM 04-24-2014
Term.

We providers need to redefine failure. You ARE a success when you can know your limitations and abide by those.....when you can keep all adults and children in your care safe....when you can put a child first and insist parents find adequate supervision and care for demanding children instead of keeping kids for your own income.....you did the right thing! You are not failing these kids! You succeeding in making the right choice for your business, family and frankly, for these twins.
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SignMeUp 06:15 AM 04-25-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:

We providers need to redefine failure.

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Leigh 06:23 AM 04-25-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Term.

We providers need to redefine failure. You ARE a success when you can know your limitations and abide by those.....when you can keep all adults and children in your care safe....when you can put a child first and insist parents find adequate supervision and care for demanding children instead of keeping kids for your own income.....you did the right thing! You are not failing these kids! You succeeding in making the right choice for your business, family and frankly, for these twins.
Good advice.

While it's easy to think that it COULD turn around (and it could)-it's really not your problem to deal with. If these were 2 year olds, I'd tell you to give them a chance. At FOUR, these kids certainly have a history of this behavior that YOU are not likely to be able to change.
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daycarediva 06:34 AM 04-25-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Term.

We providers need to redefine failure. You ARE a success when you can know your limitations and abide by those.....when you can keep all adults and children in your care safe....when you can put a child first and insist parents find adequate supervision and care for demanding children instead of keeping kids for your own income.....you did the right thing! You are not failing these kids! You succeeding in making the right choice for your business, family and frankly, for these twins.


If you cannot control it, and it is a safety risk, AND you are so upset it is affecting you physically, you have certainly reached your limit.

You haven't failed them, you are making the right decision. Hopefully the parents take this as a wake up call. ((((HUGS))))
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lynne 06:58 AM 04-25-2014
Thank you so much for the advice... You all are right, At 4 these boys should know better and be able to behave. I'm nervous about the call to mom this morning but there is no way I can keep everyone safe when I'm chasing these boys around my house. I should have listened to what mom had to say at the interview..Lesson learned. Thanks again!
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Mister Sir Husband 08:19 AM 04-25-2014
Oh yea... definite term. Breaking and throwing toys cant happen. One toy hits another child and you've got worse problems. I can imagine trying to explain to a parent that the marks on their child's face are there because another kid threw a toy and hit them. The parent then decides my home isn't safe enough and pulls kid.
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KidGrind 08:24 AM 04-25-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a pair of twin 4 year old boys, today was the 2nd time here. This is what happened today with 1 of the boys..
wouldn't stay in the playroom
kept opening my safety gates and going into the off limits areas
was not listening to instruction at all
stomping on and breaking toys
throwing toys at the window and walls
wouldn't sit on his bum in the chairs, kept standing up on them
locked the bathroom door 2-3 times after he was asked not to ( i had to find something to jimmy the lock open)
When put in time out sat and smirked and had a sassy mouth

This all happened in the space of 3 hours.... I called for pickup cuz I wasn't going to deal with this any longer. The other twin follows along with his sibling.... I was so upset that I was shaking..Do you think this can be worked with?
Definitely a no for me if it’s part-time or drop-in care.
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KidGrind 08:25 AM 04-25-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Term.

We providers need to redefine failure. You ARE a success when you can know your limitations and abide by those.....when you can keep all adults and children in your care safe....when you can put a child first and insist parents find adequate supervision and care for demanding children instead of keeping kids for your own income.....you did the right thing! You are not failing these kids! You succeeding in making the right choice for your business, family and frankly, for these twins.
I love, love, love this!
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wdmmom 08:31 AM 04-25-2014
No way!!! If they aren't full time Monday through Friday kids, get them gone!!! If I've learned anything, it's that drop in care and part time care aren't any good. If it's not full time, I don't want to mess with it. The sooner you can get them to go native (as Nan would say), the better it is for you.
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nannyde 12:54 PM 04-25-2014
They need their own adult. They are being raised as wild animals so they need to have their own adult to keep them safe.

Did they mention they got booted from the previous sixteen day care's by any chance?
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lynne 04:46 PM 04-25-2014
I termed today, They didn't answer the phone and I called 3 times so I texted. Havent heard back.....They were just starting and were going full time, but there is no way i'll ever have them back. LOL Nannyde.. they have been kicked out of the kids gym that they have here. I'm still shaking my head over the whole mess. The kinder teachers here are gonna have a time with them, Did I mention that I know alot of the teachers here? The will be warned..haahaa
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lynne 04:48 PM 04-25-2014
And I wanted to thank you all again for all your help..
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lynne 12:27 PM 04-26-2014
This is the text I got from DCM..
" hey sorry our phones got disconected and we just got them back on. I am sorry you had such a problem with DCK.( she named the wrong twin)I know they really like to come to your house,I have to find a different daycare now.DCD and I can not take chances on losing our jobs because our kids were not listening.( well if you had taught them to listen it wouldn't be a problem)FYI they have been home with me for 4 years like I said and you could have put on the TV or took them outside.(They lost movie time for running all over my house and goin in off limets ares, and they really need coats hats gloves to go outside it's still winter here.)They get really board inside and also they fell asleep for 2 hours after DCD picked them up,( and you told me they wont nap) I did tell you that they dont listen and that is why I wanted a job and them to go to daycare. I had to leave work and my boss does NOT tolerate me leaving."

So I guess its my fault that her kids are terrors? When i first read this I was thinking what what what? Then I started LOL..DCP really do try to put thing on us dont they...
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sharlan 12:36 PM 04-26-2014
Originally Posted by lynne:
This is the text I got from DCM..
" hey sorry our phones got disconected and we just got them back on. I am sorry you had such a problem with DCK.I know they really like to come to your house,I have to find a different daycare now.DCD and I can not take chances on losing our jobs because our kids were not listening.FYI they have been home with me for 4 years like I said and you could have put on the TV or took them outside.They get really board inside and also they fell asleep for 2 hours after DCD picked them up, I did tell you that they dont listen and that is why I wanted a job and them to go to daycare. I had to leave work and my boss does NOT tolerate me leaving."

So I guess its my fault that her kids are terrors? When i first read this I was thinking what what what? Then I started LOL..DCP really do try to put thing on us dont they...
Wow, Mom wanted a job because she's made a mess and doesn't want to deal with it.

You made the right choice in terming.
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lynne 12:37 PM 04-26-2014
LOL! I know right?
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Mister Sir Husband 12:59 PM 04-26-2014
So the kids were home with her for 4 years, and it's not her fault that they act like they do? She raised little monsters... I almost feel bad for her thinking of the difficulties she's gonna have in the future..
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lynne 01:04 PM 04-26-2014
I can't decide to text back or not...What in the world would I say?
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sharlan 01:25 PM 04-26-2014
I wouldn't text her back. Stop all communication, it can get ugly real quick.
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CraftyMom 01:28 PM 04-26-2014
Originally Posted by lynne:
This is the text I got from DCM..
" hey sorry our phones got disconected and we just got them back on. I am sorry you had such a problem with DCK.( she named the wrong twin)I know they really like to come to your house,I have to find a different daycare now.DCD and I can not take chances on losing our jobs because our kids were not listening.( well if you had taught them to listen it wouldn't be a problem)FYI they have been home with me for 4 years like I said and you could have put on the TV or took them outside.(They lost movie time for running all over my house and goin in off limets ares, and they really need coats hats gloves to go outside it's still winter here.)They get really board inside and also they fell asleep for 2 hours after DCD picked them up,[COLOR="black"]( and you told me they wont nap)[/color] I did tell you that they dont listen and that is why I wanted a job and them to go to daycare. I had to leave work and my boss does NOT tolerate me leaving."

So I guess its my fault that her kids are terrors? When i first read this I was thinking what what what? Then I started LOL..DCP really do try to put thing on us dont they...
Gotta love her logic, in a matter of 2 days its your fault they were running because you didn't put the tv on or keep them outside all day. It's your fault they took a late 2 hour nap because you could not get them to chill out at nap time. It's your fault because, well she told you her kids were maniacs! And it's your fault she had to leave work because her kids are maniacs and her boss is upset.

Now it's your fault she has to find new daycare, and if she lost her job that would be your fault too.

Wow you sure have caused a lot of chaos in 2 days!

Of course I'm kidding! Most parents will place blame on their daycare provider before themselves any day, ESPECIALLY the ones with crazy hard to control kids!
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CraftyMom 01:30 PM 04-26-2014
If you do text back, I would want to say something along the lines of

"You outlined your problem perfectly in your text, dcm. YOU were home with them for 4 years. YOU caused this. YOU can not control them, how do you expect anyone else to?"
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momofboys 01:45 PM 04-26-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
If you do text back, I would want to say something along the lines of

"You outlined your problem perfectly in your text, dcm. YOU were home with them for 4 years. YOU caused this. YOU can not control them, how do you expect anyone else to?"
Bingo!!!!
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lynne 02:01 PM 04-26-2014
Craftymom, I love this and am going to use it...hope thats ok. I live in a very small town and the only person that I think would take them on is my ex boss, She's all about the money.
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daycarediva 02:02 PM 04-26-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
If you do text back, I would want to say something along the lines of

"You outlined your problem perfectly in your text, dcm. YOU were home with them for 4 years. YOU caused this. YOU can not control them, how do you expect anyone else to?"
and I would add when and where things could be retrieved, it there are any, what money is owed that needs to be brought then, if any.

Then I would block her number.
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CraftyMom 02:23 PM 04-26-2014
Originally Posted by lynne:
Craftymom, I love this and am going to use it...hope thats ok. I live in a very small town and the only person that I think would take them on is my ex boss, She's all about the money.

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lynne 02:37 PM 04-26-2014
I'm not going to bother about 3 hours of care....Though I should charge x 4 for all the broken toys and dings in my walls. I guess I'm still in shock...I never knew that kids could act like that. So spackel and paint here I come. I'm very lucky that I didn't have other kids here..I wanted to see how they would be and canceled 2 drop in's that day. Thank goodness!
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Tags:terminate - inappropriate behavior
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