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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>4 year Old Cries At Dropoff OMG
AllDeezBabies 10:41 AM 07-20-2013
Hey guys,
Another issue brought to you by my state assistance parent. She has 2 children; DCB is 2 and DCG is 4. They have been with me since the very beginning of April and since day one the 4 year old has a flipping fit when mom drops her off. The boy is usually fine but it seems that now within the past week he's doing the crying episodes at drop off as well. Mom does nothing, she'll either stand there and look while I shoo her away or prolong it by trying to console them.
Now...I'm 8 months pregnant and this is really taking a toll on me. It's to the point now when they pull up I get anxious. Yesterday when they arrived the little girl had a fit. Falling all over the floor, kicking and screaming. I didn't like it at all. Apparently my baby didn't like it either because the stress from the situation caused my stomach to start tightening up.
All of my other children adjusted just fine. We sing songs, go on field trips, do arts and crafts, play, I threw DCG a birthday party here last month, we had a bubble party, they ride bikes, play in the silly sprinklers... I mean we do a great deal here. It's even worse on field trip days. I don't understand what the issue is.
Today they arrived and it really pissed me off. Both the boy and the girl had hissy fits that lasted for at least 15 minutes. I felt my stomach tighten up and I had to walk away from the situation until mom saw fit enough to close the door.
The thing is after their meltdown (the longer mom stays the longer the meltdown) they are talking and playing like it never happened.
What do I do???
Another issue brought to you by my state assistance parent. She has 2 children; DCB is 2 and DCG is 4. They have been with me since the very beginning of April and since day one the 4 year old has a flipping fit when mom drops her off. The boy is usually fine but it seems that now within the past week he's doing the crying episodes at drop off as well. Mom does nothing, she'll either stand there and look while I shoo her away or prolong it by trying to console them.
Now...I'm 8 months pregnant and this is really taking a toll on me. It's to the point now when they pull up I get anxious. Yesterday when they arrived the little girl had a fit. Falling all over the floor, kicking and screaming. I didn't like it at all. Apparently my baby didn't like it either because the stress from the situation caused my stomach to start tightening up.
All of my other children adjusted just fine. We sing songs, go on field trips, do arts and crafts, play, I threw DCG a birthday party here last month, we had a bubble party, they ride bikes, play in the silly sprinklers... I mean we do a great deal here. It's even worse on field trip days. I don't understand what the issue is.
Today they arrived and it really pissed me off. Both the boy and the girl had hissy fits that lasted for at least 15 minutes. I felt my stomach tighten up and I had to walk away from the situation until mom saw fit enough to close the door.
The thing is after their meltdown (the longer mom stays the longer the meltdown) they are talking and playing like it never happened.
What do I do???
Unregistered 11:49 AM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
Hey guys,
Another issue brought to you by my state assistance parent. She has 2 children; DCB is 2 and DCG is 4. They have been with me since the very beginning of April and since day one the 4 year old has a flipping fit when mom drops her off. The boy is usually fine but it seems that now within the past week he's doing the crying episodes at drop off as well. Mom does nothing, she'll either stand there and look while I shoo her away or prolong it by trying to console them.
Now...I'm 8 months pregnant and this is really taking a toll on me. It's to the point now when they pull up I get anxious. Yesterday when they arrived the little girl had a fit. Falling all over the floor, kicking and screaming. I didn't like it at all. Apparently my baby didn't like it either because the stress from the situation caused my stomach to start tightening up.
All of my other children adjusted just fine. We sing songs, go on field trips, do arts and crafts, play, I threw DCG a birthday party here last month, we had a bubble party, they ride bikes, play in the silly sprinklers... I mean we do a great deal here. It's even worse on field trip days. I don't understand what the issue is.
Today they arrived and it really pissed me off. Both the boy and the girl had hissy fits that lasted for at least 15 minutes. I felt my stomach tighten up and I had to walk away from the situation until mom saw fit enough to close the door.
.
The thing is after their meltdown (the longer mom stays the longer the meltdown) they are talking and playing like it never happened.
What do I do???
Drop and leave. That's what the mom will have to do. Tell her that starting Monday, she will have to drop the child off and GO. No more dilly-dallying. In fact, I'd have her drop off at the door and not come inside at all. You greet her, greet the kids and direct them wherever you want them to go and say "Have a nice day mom, see you at 3!" (or whatever time, lol) and close the door. Hey guys,
Another issue brought to you by my state assistance parent. She has 2 children; DCB is 2 and DCG is 4. They have been with me since the very beginning of April and since day one the 4 year old has a flipping fit when mom drops her off. The boy is usually fine but it seems that now within the past week he's doing the crying episodes at drop off as well. Mom does nothing, she'll either stand there and look while I shoo her away or prolong it by trying to console them.
Now...I'm 8 months pregnant and this is really taking a toll on me. It's to the point now when they pull up I get anxious. Yesterday when they arrived the little girl had a fit. Falling all over the floor, kicking and screaming. I didn't like it at all. Apparently my baby didn't like it either because the stress from the situation caused my stomach to start tightening up.
All of my other children adjusted just fine. We sing songs, go on field trips, do arts and crafts, play, I threw DCG a birthday party here last month, we had a bubble party, they ride bikes, play in the silly sprinklers... I mean we do a great deal here. It's even worse on field trip days. I don't understand what the issue is.
Today they arrived and it really pissed me off. Both the boy and the girl had hissy fits that lasted for at least 15 minutes. I felt my stomach tighten up and I had to walk away from the situation until mom saw fit enough to close the door.
.
The thing is after their meltdown (the longer mom stays the longer the meltdown) they are talking and playing like it never happened.
What do I do???
After I started that practice, my life got easier, and so did the children's lives!
Familycare71 11:57 AM 07-20-2013
Agree- I call it "guilt crying"... They cry long enough to make the parent feel bad and then they are done!
Tell her that you feel for her - it is hard for any mom to see her kids cry for them when leaving. Then say to make the stress less for the kids and her you are implementing quick drop offs- at the door- she bring them in, kisses and leaves. Tell her you will text to let her know how they are (assuming she and u text).
Hope she doesn't throw a fit about it but its best for everyone! But when you share w her- make it about them
Tell her that you feel for her - it is hard for any mom to see her kids cry for them when leaving. Then say to make the stress less for the kids and her you are implementing quick drop offs- at the door- she bring them in, kisses and leaves. Tell her you will text to let her know how they are (assuming she and u text).
Hope she doesn't throw a fit about it but its best for everyone! But when you share w her- make it about them
Heidi 02:35 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
Agree- I call it "guilt crying"... They cry long enough to make the parent feel bad and then they are done!
Tell her that you feel for her - it is hard for any mom to see her kids cry for them when leaving. Then say to make the stress less for the kids and her you are implementing quick drop offs- at the door- she bring them in, kisses and leaves. Tell her you will text to let her know how they are (assuming she and u text).
Hope she doesn't throw a fit about it but its best for everyone! But when you share w her- make it about them
Agree- I call it "guilt crying"... They cry long enough to make the parent feel bad and then they are done!
Tell her that you feel for her - it is hard for any mom to see her kids cry for them when leaving. Then say to make the stress less for the kids and her you are implementing quick drop offs- at the door- she bring them in, kisses and leaves. Tell her you will text to let her know how they are (assuming she and u text).
Hope she doesn't throw a fit about it but its best for everyone! But when you share w her- make it about them
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Cradle2crayons 03:11 PM 07-20-2013
Agree. Drop and go. On the front porch or where ever. Outside the door. She says bye to them outside. She knocks. Yu open door, bring in children, she should be halfway to the car. End of problems.
AllDeezBabies 06:17 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
Agree. Drop and go. On the front porch or where ever. Outside the door. She says bye to them outside. She knocks. Yu open door, bring in children, she should be halfway to the car. End of problems.
The girl literally kicks and screams when I tried that approach. She runs behind mom and grabs hold of her legs. I don't like it at all. You would think she was being put in a torture chamber with the way she acts when its time to drop off. The little boy just whimpers but he will still come in the house.Agree. Drop and go. On the front porch or where ever. Outside the door. She says bye to them outside. She knocks. Yu open door, bring in children, she should be halfway to the car. End of problems.
I told her before that the way she handles drop offs do not make it better. We came up with an action plan but I still find myself shooing her away or closing the door in her face. Today she cried for an hour...AN HOUR!!!
Cradle2crayons 06:21 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
The girl literally kicks and screams when I tried that approach. She runs behind mom and grabs hold of her legs. I don't like it at all. You would think she was being put in a torture chamber with the way she acts when its time to drop off. The little boy just whimpers but he will still come in the house.
I told her before that the way she handles drop offs do not make it better. We came up with an action plan but I still find myself shooing her away or closing the door in her face. Today she cried for an hour...AN HOUR!!!
You instruct mom to say goodbye outside your home. You open the door and bring the girl in by the hand and shut the door.The girl literally kicks and screams when I tried that approach. She runs behind mom and grabs hold of her legs. I don't like it at all. You would think she was being put in a torture chamber with the way she acts when its time to drop off. The little boy just whimpers but he will still come in the house.
I told her before that the way she handles drop offs do not make it better. We came up with an action plan but I still find myself shooing her away or closing the door in her face. Today she cried for an hour...AN HOUR!!!
If its done right, there is no time for the girl to react.
AllDeezBabies 06:29 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
Agree- I call it "guilt crying"... They cry long enough to make the parent feel bad and then they are done!
Tell her that you feel for her - it is hard for any mom to see her kids cry for them when leaving. Then say to make the stress less for the kids and her you are implementing quick drop offs- at the door- she bring them in, kisses and leaves. Tell her you will text to let her know how they are (assuming she and u text).
Hope she doesn't throw a fit about it but its best for everyone! But when you share w her- make it about them
I talked to her about it. After she leaves and she calms down and starts to conversing with me, we will take a pic or gather a video of her dancing or participating in things with the kids. I tell her about how dcg tells me all their business ( she will tell me everything). Agree- I call it "guilt crying"... They cry long enough to make the parent feel bad and then they are done!
Tell her that you feel for her - it is hard for any mom to see her kids cry for them when leaving. Then say to make the stress less for the kids and her you are implementing quick drop offs- at the door- she bring them in, kisses and leaves. Tell her you will text to let her know how they are (assuming she and u text).
Hope she doesn't throw a fit about it but its best for everyone! But when you share w her- make it about them
Mom told me she cried like this at the other daycare and she pulled both the kids out because if this. I never had this issue with any of my other daycare children.
AllDeezBabies 06:40 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
You instruct mom to say goodbye outside your home. You open the door and bring the girl in by the hand and shut the door.
If its done right, there is no time for the girl to react.
When I'm answering my door dcg is already throwing a fit. I hear her outside the door. When I open the door she is already running behind mom on the floor. I'm 8 months pregnant and its a little challenging picking her up off the floor. You instruct mom to say goodbye outside your home. You open the door and bring the girl in by the hand and shut the door.
If its done right, there is no time for the girl to react.
Yesterday as soon as she got out the car she was jumping up and down and mom had to literally drag her up the stairs and to the door. The little boy was fine. So our exchange consisted of me attempting to grab dcg hand from mom. Dcg would not get off the ground and I will not drag anyone's child by the arm.
I just wish you could see it. Its so bad my own children go to another part of the house when they see them coming.
daycare 06:56 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
You instruct mom to say goodbye outside your home. You open the door and bring the girl in by the hand and shut the door.
If its done right, there is no time for the girl to react.
THis......this is what has worked for me with my criers.You instruct mom to say goodbye outside your home. You open the door and bring the girl in by the hand and shut the door.
If its done right, there is no time for the girl to react.
I tell the parents to prep them as they pull up. "John we are going to get out of the car, I will walk you to the door, give you a kiss, sign you in and leave". Of course this would not work with a really small child, but it has worked for as young as my 18 month old.
every day mom lets him know what is going to happen. Then once in side the house, mom signs in, I help get shoes and coat off, mom gives kiss and says who will be back to pick up leaves super fast......
daycare 07:00 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
When I'm answering my door dcg is already throwing a fit. I hear her outside the door. When I open the door she is already running behind mom on the floor. I'm 8 months pregnant and its a little challenging picking her up off the floor.
Yesterday as soon as she got out the car she was jumping up and down and mom had to literally drag her up the stairs and to the door. The little boy was fine. So our exchange consisted of me attempting to grab dcg hand from mom. Dcg would not get off the ground and I will not drag anyone's child by the arm.
I just wish you could see it. Its so bad my own children go to another part of the house when they see them coming.
I didnt read that part before I posted.......if is happening before the girl even comes in the door, then it is moms job to calm her down and stop the tantrum before she even knocks on your door. When I'm answering my door dcg is already throwing a fit. I hear her outside the door. When I open the door she is already running behind mom on the floor. I'm 8 months pregnant and its a little challenging picking her up off the floor.
Yesterday as soon as she got out the car she was jumping up and down and mom had to literally drag her up the stairs and to the door. The little boy was fine. So our exchange consisted of me attempting to grab dcg hand from mom. Dcg would not get off the ground and I will not drag anyone's child by the arm.
I just wish you could see it. Its so bad my own children go to another part of the house when they see them coming.
I had a mom that used to fight her daughter about stupid stupid stuff. They would argue about it that the little girl would be throwing a massive fit for 45min. Finally I started calling mom and saying you need to come get her, this can't go on. When you drop her off, she needs to be ready to go for the day. Throwing a massive tantrum, legs kicking and arms flaring is not ready to go for the day.....
I would tell mom that she needs to nip it before she even knocks on your door. You are letting her make her problem yours and it is not your problem......
Familycare71 07:02 PM 07-20-2013
Is there a dad in the picture? Maybe he could do drop offs? It sounds to me like two things are happening:
Mom isn't nipping this in the bud- I wonder what kind of actions, words, etc she is using on the ride over?
Dcg isn't used to the change and is using old behavior.
Before you said that dcg stopped crying when mom left and then you said she cried for an hour- did this increase after you tried the drop off outside?
Pictures and video are a great way to show mom dcg is doing great! I'm not sure what dcg telling u everything has to do w it... (Just confused me )... I wouldn't let dcg know why you are doing this tho- the less attention to her actions the better IMO
If mom pulls then there really is nothing you can do... She IMO is just escilating the behavior.
It really stinks that you are having such a hard time and are anxious anticipating it! I had one family I dreaded coming and eventually we went our separate ways. It was the mom on drop offs as the dcg was fine after- I guess you need to decide if its worth it. Being very prego doesn't help but if it were me I would talk to mom prior to warn her that things were going to go very quickly from now on- you will open the door once she knocks (so she has time at the door to say goodbye and can signal when she is ready to be done) and literally swoop dcg up facing out (so she can't kick you) inside w dcb following right behind. Once inside I would tell dcg I was glad she was here but I won't listen to her fits- have a safe place set up for her ( maybe w books) and put her there... Once she calms give her a hug- tell her you are glad she is ready to join the others to play and don't mention it again.
I hth! Hang in there!!
Mom isn't nipping this in the bud- I wonder what kind of actions, words, etc she is using on the ride over?
Dcg isn't used to the change and is using old behavior.
Before you said that dcg stopped crying when mom left and then you said she cried for an hour- did this increase after you tried the drop off outside?
Pictures and video are a great way to show mom dcg is doing great! I'm not sure what dcg telling u everything has to do w it... (Just confused me
)... I wouldn't let dcg know why you are doing this tho- the less attention to her actions the better IMOIf mom pulls then there really is nothing you can do... She IMO is just escilating the behavior.
It really stinks that you are having such a hard time and are anxious anticipating it! I had one family I dreaded coming and eventually we went our separate ways. It was the mom on drop offs as the dcg was fine after- I guess you need to decide if its worth it. Being very prego doesn't help but if it were me I would talk to mom prior to warn her that things were going to go very quickly from now on- you will open the door once she knocks (so she has time at the door to say goodbye and can signal when she is ready to be done) and literally swoop dcg up facing out (so she can't kick you) inside w dcb following right behind. Once inside I would tell dcg I was glad she was here but I won't listen to her fits- have a safe place set up for her ( maybe w books) and put her there... Once she calms give her a hug- tell her you are glad she is ready to join the others to play and don't mention it again.
I hth! Hang in there!!
Familycare71 07:07 PM 07-20-2013
Also remember no matter what you do it will take time for behavior changes to happen- it didn't happen over night and it will not end quickly either. If you are at your wits end but want to give it some more time maybe doing a behavior plan would help- I have never done one but lots of people on here have 
. Maybe a time frame would get mom more proactive toward a solution too if she wants dcg to stay in your care!
Also I would make a point of telling dcb how proud you are of him for not throwing fits when mom leaves in ear shot of dcg- just so she knows his positive behavior is getting recognized!
. Maybe a time frame would get mom more proactive toward a solution too if she wants dcg to stay in your care!Also I would make a point of telling dcb how proud you are of him for not throwing fits when mom leaves in ear shot of dcg- just so she knows his positive behavior is getting recognized!
MrsSteinel'sHouse 05:46 AM 07-21-2013
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
Play Care 06:24 AM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
NeedaVaca 07:04 AM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
I agree! I had a DCG 3yr old and she actually never cried at drop off until one day...out of the blue she was whining and crying. I thought it was just an off day for her because she had been coming for years! Well, she did it the next day and I thought I'm nipping this in the bud NOW. I got fairly stern with her and said crying like that is NOT acceptable! I asked her if she had been having fun at my house when she comes? "yes", do you like coming and playing with your friends?"yes" after a few of these questions I explained mommy has to work and you get to come here and have fun so no more crying! You walk in, smile and say good morning. She does that nowYou want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
I also mentioned through out the day how proud I was of the other kids for being so good when they came in the mornings. I think a more firm approach might be better with your DCG.
daycare 08:21 AM 07-21-2013
You need to adpot my motto.
Kids who don't listen don't have any fun.
I ask my daycare kids how do you have fun and they will all say "you listen"
If they are making a bad decision I will look at them and say "I thought you wanted to have fun?" They will say ok I will stop and listen.
I have used this line for years and it has always worked well for me.
Kids who don't listen don't have any fun.
I ask my daycare kids how do you have fun and they will all say "you listen"
If they are making a bad decision I will look at them and say "I thought you wanted to have fun?" They will say ok I will stop and listen.
I have used this line for years and it has always worked well for me.
JoseyJo 08:25 AM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I agree! I had a DCG 3yr old and she actually never cried at drop off until one day...out of the blue she was whining and crying. I thought it was just an off day for her because she had been coming for years! Well, she did it the next day and I thought I'm nipping this in the bud NOW. I got fairly stern with her and said crying like that is NOT acceptable! I asked her if she had been having fun at my house when she comes? "yes", do you like coming and playing with your friends?"yes" after a few of these questions I explained mommy has to work and you get to come here and have fun so no more crying! You walk in, smile and say good morning. She does that now I also mentioned through out the day how proud I was of the other kids for being so good when they came in the mornings. I think a more firm approach might be better with your DCG.
I had a dcg4 who started doing a pouting/whining/ pointedly ignoring you thing when her dad dropped off. I finally told her it hurt my feelings when she didn't say good morning to me after I said it to her, and that it made me feel like she didn't want to come (this specific case is one where the child LOVES to be here, and hates to leave, asks to spend night or just stay forever regularly!). Since then she has been being much more friendly at drop off. I think she was doing it to get the attention, everyone asking what was wrong, and to make sure her dad knew she would miss him.I agree! I had a DCG 3yr old and she actually never cried at drop off until one day...out of the blue she was whining and crying. I thought it was just an off day for her because she had been coming for years! Well, she did it the next day and I thought I'm nipping this in the bud NOW. I got fairly stern with her and said crying like that is NOT acceptable! I asked her if she had been having fun at my house when she comes? "yes", do you like coming and playing with your friends?"yes" after a few of these questions I explained mommy has to work and you get to come here and have fun so no more crying! You walk in, smile and say good morning. She does that now
I also mentioned through out the day how proud I was of the other kids for being so good when they came in the mornings. I think a more firm approach might be better with your DCG.
AllDeezBabies 12:16 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
Is there a dad in the picture? Maybe he could do drop offs? It sounds to me like two things are happening:
Mom isn't nipping this in the bud- I wonder what kind of actions, words, etc she is using on the ride over?
Dcg isn't used to the change and is using old behavior.
Before you said that dcg stopped crying when mom left and then you said she cried for an hour- did this increase after you tried the drop off outside?
Pictures and video are a great way to show mom dcg is doing great! I'm not sure what dcg telling u everything has to do w it... (Just confused me )... I wouldn't let dcg know why you are doing this tho- the less attention to her actions the better IMO
If mom pulls then there really is nothing you can do... She IMO is just escilating the behavior.
It really stinks that you are having such a hard time and are anxious anticipating it! I had one family I dreaded coming and eventually we went our separate ways. It was the mom on drop offs as the dcg was fine after- I guess you need to decide if its worth it. Being very prego doesn't help but if it were me I would talk to mom prior to warn her that things were going to go very quickly from now on- you will open the door once she knocks (so she has time at the door to say goodbye and can signal when she is ready to be done) and literally swoop dcg up facing out (so she can't kick you) inside w dcb following right behind. Once inside I would tell dcg I was glad she was here but I won't listen to her fits- have a safe place set up for her ( maybe w books) and put her there... Once she calms give her a hug- tell her you are glad she is ready to join the others to play and don't mention it again.
I hth! Hang in there!!
Is there a dad in the picture? Maybe he could do drop offs? It sounds to me like two things are happening:
Mom isn't nipping this in the bud- I wonder what kind of actions, words, etc she is using on the ride over?
Dcg isn't used to the change and is using old behavior.
Before you said that dcg stopped crying when mom left and then you said she cried for an hour- did this increase after you tried the drop off outside?
Pictures and video are a great way to show mom dcg is doing great! I'm not sure what dcg telling u everything has to do w it... (Just confused me
)... I wouldn't let dcg know why you are doing this tho- the less attention to her actions the better IMOIf mom pulls then there really is nothing you can do... She IMO is just escilating the behavior.
It really stinks that you are having such a hard time and are anxious anticipating it! I had one family I dreaded coming and eventually we went our separate ways. It was the mom on drop offs as the dcg was fine after- I guess you need to decide if its worth it. Being very prego doesn't help but if it were me I would talk to mom prior to warn her that things were going to go very quickly from now on- you will open the door once she knocks (so she has time at the door to say goodbye and can signal when she is ready to be done) and literally swoop dcg up facing out (so she can't kick you) inside w dcb following right behind. Once inside I would tell dcg I was glad she was here but I won't listen to her fits- have a safe place set up for her ( maybe w books) and put her there... Once she calms give her a hug- tell her you are glad she is ready to join the others to play and don't mention it again.
I hth! Hang in there!!
At the bolded when I mentioned her telling me everything I say that to say that's how comfortable dcg seems when she's done with her meltdowns. She sits and converses with me and tells me everything like she's totally comfortable with me.
To answer your question, I haven't seen a father in the picture as of yet so I don't know. I know mom doesn't nip it in the bud because after these talks of how drop off should be handled I'm still slamming the door in her face. I remember she told me of one time she just pulled in front of my house with no warning (apparently she does this often) and this day dcg was simply horrible.
The kicking and screaming went on for 15 minutes the constant crying went on for an hour. The longer mom tries to linger, the longer dcg cries. There have been times mom had to struggle to drag her into my home.
When she comes in and mom closes the door, I ignore her. Once she has calmed down enough I get a chair, put her in the crying corner and walk off. Thing is...... SHE STILL CRIES!!!
I have had disciplinary moment with my other daycare children and this approach always works. Once they are out of time out or the crying corner I explain their behavior to them and we come up with an agreement as to how we will handle our behavior going forward. I've had moms that were convinced there was no turning their child around and they made a complete 360 when they came to me. I'm very proud of this. I'm proud of the fact that I can implement a very sound discipline action plan that encourages the parents to participate and is effective in promoting positive behavior with the children.
But this here...is not working. And the more they come to my home, the more discouraging it gets.
AllDeezBabies 12:21 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
Also remember no matter what you do it will take time for behavior changes to happen- it didn't happen over night and it will not end quickly either. If you are at your wits end but want to give it some more time maybe doing a behavior plan would help- I have never done one but lots of people on here have. Maybe a time frame would get mom more proactive toward a solution too if she wants dcg to stay in your care!
Also I would make a point of telling dcb how proud you are of him for not throwing fits when mom leaves in ear shot of dcg- just so she knows his positive behavior is getting recognized!
I want to try this. It will give mom the "shape up or ship out when the time comes" message. I want to have something on paper and logged so that if there is any progress or regress she will see the input and work being done on both our parts. So if there is any lacking on her part she'll know this too. Because she won't admit to her playing a major part in her behavior. I want her to see this. Because me telling her that she is accountable holds no weight in her eyes.Also remember no matter what you do it will take time for behavior changes to happen- it didn't happen over night and it will not end quickly either. If you are at your wits end but want to give it some more time maybe doing a behavior plan would help- I have never done one but lots of people on here have
. Maybe a time frame would get mom more proactive toward a solution too if she wants dcg to stay in your care!Also I would make a point of telling dcb how proud you are of him for not throwing fits when mom leaves in ear shot of dcg- just so she knows his positive behavior is getting recognized!
daycare 12:24 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
At the bolded when I mentioned her telling me everything I say that to say that's how comfortable dcg seems when she's done with her meltdowns. She sits and converses with me and tells me everything like she's totally comfortable with me.
To answer your question, I haven't seen a father in the picture as of yet so I don't know. I know mom doesn't nip it in the bud because after these talks of how drop off should be handled I'm still slamming the door in her face. I remember she told me of one time she just pulled in front of my house with no warning (apparently she does this often) and this day dcg was simply horrible.
The kicking and screaming went on for 15 minutes the constant crying went on for an hour. The longer mom tries to linger, the longer dcg cries. There have been times mom had to struggle to drag her into my home.
When she comes in and mom closes the door, I ignore her. Once she has calmed down enough I get a chair, put her in the crying corner and walk off. Thing is...... SHE STILL CRIES!!!
I have had disciplinary moment with my other daycare children and this approach always works. Once they are out of time out or the crying corner I explain their behavior to them and we come up with an agreement as to how we will handle our behavior going forward. I've had moms that were convinced there was no turning their child around and they made a complete 360 when they came to me. I'm very proud of this. I'm proud of the fact that I can implement a very sound discipline action plan that encourages the parents to participate and is effective in promoting positive behavior with the children.
But this here...is not working. And the more they come to my home, the more discouraging it gets.
its not working, because mom is not on board.....At the bolded when I mentioned her telling me everything I say that to say that's how comfortable dcg seems when she's done with her meltdowns. She sits and converses with me and tells me everything like she's totally comfortable with me.
To answer your question, I haven't seen a father in the picture as of yet so I don't know. I know mom doesn't nip it in the bud because after these talks of how drop off should be handled I'm still slamming the door in her face. I remember she told me of one time she just pulled in front of my house with no warning (apparently she does this often) and this day dcg was simply horrible.
The kicking and screaming went on for 15 minutes the constant crying went on for an hour. The longer mom tries to linger, the longer dcg cries. There have been times mom had to struggle to drag her into my home.
When she comes in and mom closes the door, I ignore her. Once she has calmed down enough I get a chair, put her in the crying corner and walk off. Thing is...... SHE STILL CRIES!!!
I have had disciplinary moment with my other daycare children and this approach always works. Once they are out of time out or the crying corner I explain their behavior to them and we come up with an agreement as to how we will handle our behavior going forward. I've had moms that were convinced there was no turning their child around and they made a complete 360 when they came to me. I'm very proud of this. I'm proud of the fact that I can implement a very sound discipline action plan that encourages the parents to participate and is effective in promoting positive behavior with the children.
But this here...is not working. And the more they come to my home, the more discouraging it gets.
Like others have said. You need to tell mom say good-bye outside and go. I tell kids you may be sad...angry...etc, howvever, you may not kick, scream or yell. It is not ok.
I have a boy that does this all the time. He sits in the hall way and screams. I tell him they above and then walk away. When he is done he can join us. If it gets to the point that his attention is taking up to much of my time, I call DCP to come pick him up. the child has to be able to participate and a child in this state for more than 30 min is not able to participate, so they go home..,..... Parents problem, not mine....
AllDeezBabies 12:49 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
its not working, because mom is not on board.....
Like others have said. You need to tell mom say good-bye outside and go. I tell kids you may be sad...angry...etc, howvever, you may not kick, scream or yell. It is not ok.
I have a boy that does this all the time. He sits in the hall way and screams. I tell him they above and then walk away. When he is done he can join us. If it gets to the point that his attention is taking up to much of my time, I call DCP to come pick him up. the child has to be able to participate and a child in this state for more than 30 min is not able to participate, so they go home..,..... Parents problem, not mine....
She will get the message after a few days of leaving work early because of dcg. I can't take it anymoreits not working, because mom is not on board.....
Like others have said. You need to tell mom say good-bye outside and go. I tell kids you may be sad...angry...etc, howvever, you may not kick, scream or yell. It is not ok.
I have a boy that does this all the time. He sits in the hall way and screams. I tell him they above and then walk away. When he is done he can join us. If it gets to the point that his attention is taking up to much of my time, I call DCP to come pick him up. the child has to be able to participate and a child in this state for more than 30 min is not able to participate, so they go home..,..... Parents problem, not mine....
AllDeezBabies 12:54 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
You know what, we have an upcoming field trip and I wanted to exclude her because of this behavior. One trip 2 weeks ago she cried from the time mom dropped her off until the time we made it half way to the zoo.
We have a ton of arts and crafts planned this upcoming week pertaining to the aquarium (our next field trip) so I'm thinking about using that as well. Do you guys think it's fair that I exclude for the trip as well?
AllDeezBabies 12:57 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
You need to adpot my motto.
Kids who don't listen don't have any fun.
I ask my daycare kids how do you have fun and they will all say "you listen"
If they are making a bad decision I will look at them and say "I thought you wanted to have fun?" They will say ok I will stop and listen.
I have used this line for years and it has always worked well for me.
You need to adpot my motto.
Kids who don't listen don't have any fun.
I ask my daycare kids how do you have fun and they will all say "you listen"
If they are making a bad decision I will look at them and say "I thought you wanted to have fun?" They will say ok I will stop and listen.
I have used this line for years and it has always worked well for me.
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:04 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
You know what, we have an upcoming field trip and I wanted to exclude her because of this behavior. One trip 2 weeks ago she cried from the time mom dropped her off until the time we made it half way to the zoo.
We have a ton of arts and crafts planned this upcoming week pertaining to the aquarium (our next field trip) so I'm thinking about using that as well. Do you guys think it's fair that I exclude for the trip as well?
She is 4. She gets it. I'd point blank tell her, "If you cry at drop off, you will not go with us to the aquarium to see the fish. If you walk in nicely, then you will go with us to the aquarium. I hope you make a good choice."You know what, we have an upcoming field trip and I wanted to exclude her because of this behavior. One trip 2 weeks ago she cried from the time mom dropped her off until the time we made it half way to the zoo.
We have a ton of arts and crafts planned this upcoming week pertaining to the aquarium (our next field trip) so I'm thinking about using that as well. Do you guys think it's fair that I exclude for the trip as well?
If she tantrums I would absolutely exclude her. I'd also be looking her sternly in the eye and saying, "All done with crying." and not allow her to participate in fun activities like the others said if she does come in tantruming. If you can't be nice, then you don't get to have fun with the others. She isn't 1. She is 4 and manipulating this situation to her full advantage. Make it less fun for her.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 04:24 PM 07-21-2013
I would exclude her from the trip if she can not behave. This may be the incentive mom needs to get on board. I am so sorry Suzi but i really can't allow little miss to go to the aquarium with the fits she has been pitching. It is not safe for me to drive with her screaming and it is not any fun for anyone else. If we can't get this under control asap, you will have to find alternate care that day. And if we can't come up with a solution that works permanently, I will not be able to continue care.
Blackcat31 05:07 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
Do you guys think it's fair that I exclude for the trip as well?
Fair for who?Do you guys think it's fair that I exclude for the trip as well?
Fair that YOU have to deal with an issue that stems from the parents?
Fair for the other kids to have to listen to her all day?
Or fair for the DCG to miss out on a whole bunch of super fun stuff that the other kids (and you) are looking forward to because she (DCG) can't stop tantruming long enough to figure out that it isn't working at your house?
Personally, if she acts that badly at drop off (over an hour of screaming/whining/crying) she wouldn't be participating in anything but nap and meal times at my house.
I'm sorry that might sound harsh but this little girl needs a reality check so she understands that the world does not revolve around her and that the amount of fun she has is 100% dependent on her.
Familycare71 08:31 PM 07-21-2013
Not to step on toes but personally I think not allowing any activities for an entire day is harsh- it's just my opinion...
I do think offering her to work towards the field trip would be a good idea... She is four and does have some control... I would talk with her privately (later inform mom) that she is old enough to realize throwing a fit doesn't work to get mom back. She has 10 min to settle herself at drop offs (NO kicking, spitting, etc ) and if she does that she can go on the field trip. If she can't then you are worried maybe she isn't "big enough" to be safe...
I think the biggest issue is Mom- and a behavior plan will work to that end.
And I do understand why you mentioned her being chatty with you now. This clearly isn't an issue with the care she reseives or her comfort level...
I do think offering her to work towards the field trip would be a good idea... She is four and does have some control... I would talk with her privately (later inform mom) that she is old enough to realize throwing a fit doesn't work to get mom back. She has 10 min to settle herself at drop offs (NO kicking, spitting, etc ) and if she does that she can go on the field trip. If she can't then you are worried maybe she isn't "big enough" to be safe...
I think the biggest issue is Mom- and a behavior plan will work to that end.
And I do understand why you mentioned her being chatty with you now
. This clearly isn't an issue with the care she reseives or her comfort level...
TheGoodLife 08:53 PM 07-21-2013
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
I would exclude her from the trip if she can not behave. This may be the incentive mom needs to get on board. I am so sorry Suzi but i really can't allow little miss to go to the aquarium with the fits she has been pitching. It is not safe for me to drive with her screaming and it is not any fun for anyone else. If we can't get this under control asap, you will have to find alternate care that day. And if we can't come up with a solution that works permanently, I will not be able to continue care.
I would exclude her from the trip if she can not behave. This may be the incentive mom needs to get on board. I am so sorry Suzi but i really can't allow little miss to go to the aquarium with the fits she has been pitching. It is not safe for me to drive with her screaming and it is not any fun for anyone else. If we can't get this under control asap, you will have to find alternate care that day. And if we can't come up with a solution that works permanently, I will not be able to continue care.
Exactly! Tell mom and DCG now, and stick to what you decide. You do not want to risk an unsafe situation with her fits, or ruining a field trip for those that are able to participate! What a horrible situation- especially when pregnant. Good luck
Willow 07:51 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
You want to be fun so that this little girl wants to be at your house and were as this commendable. It doesn't work. She is still pitching a fit because she has hope that mom will still stay home with her. She did pull her from the last place when she did this.
So, when she comes on Monday and pitches a fit, don't be fun. I personally would give her a time out for the fit. So later your painting.. she wants to paint oh no, little girls who pitch fits don't get to paint. Now obviously you need to give mom a heads up. She needs to take a tough stand that this is not ok. Mom needs to understand that if this doesn't stop you will no longer be able to care for her children. And lets face it mom, no one will want to deal with this. SO, she needs to not baby her daughter but stand behind you. So when Suzi says I didn't get to paint!! She says did you pitch a fit? I don't like it when you pitch a fit on Mrs______ tonight you will be going to bed early. You may not pitch a fit. In the morning she needs to look at her and say, you may not pitch a fit or you won't be doing what is fun today. Her first pitch free day mom needs to tell her I am very proud of you, this is the way it needs to be from now on!
April to now is a LONG time to let this behavior continue! And obviously she was doing it at the last place. It may take a while to undo. It will take discipline.
Good luck!
Willow 07:53 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
She is 4. She gets it. I'd point blank tell her, "If you cry at drop off, you will not go with us to the aquarium to see the fish. If you walk in nicely, then you will go with us to the aquarium. I hope you make a good choice."
If she tantrums I would absolutely exclude her. I'd also be looking her sternly in the eye and saying, "All done with crying." and not allow her to participate in fun activities like the others said if she does come in tantruming. If you can't be nice, then you don't get to have fun with the others. She isn't 1. She is 4 and manipulating this situation to her full advantage. Make it less fun for her.
She is 4. She gets it. I'd point blank tell her, "If you cry at drop off, you will not go with us to the aquarium to see the fish. If you walk in nicely, then you will go with us to the aquarium. I hope you make a good choice."
If she tantrums I would absolutely exclude her. I'd also be looking her sternly in the eye and saying, "All done with crying." and not allow her to participate in fun activities like the others said if she does come in tantruming. If you can't be nice, then you don't get to have fun with the others. She isn't 1. She is 4 and manipulating this situation to her full advantage. Make it less fun for her.
Crystal 08:32 AM 07-22-2013
I'd put her to bed upon arrival. I'd say to her, in front of Mom, "This behavior is telling me you are tired. You need to lay down and rest until you feel rested enough to join the group" And then I'd lay her down until she quit. I would do it every single time.
And, yes, I'd take away privileges like field trips as well.
And, yes, I'd take away privileges like field trips as well.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 09:18 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, if she acts that badly at drop off (over an hour of screaming/whining/crying) she wouldn't be participating in anything but nap and meal times at my house.
I'm sorry that might sound harsh but this little girl needs a reality check so she understands that the world does not revolve around her and that the amount of fun she has is 100% dependent on her.
Personally, if she acts that badly at drop off (over an hour of screaming/whining/crying) she wouldn't be participating in anything but nap and meal times at my house.
I'm sorry that might sound harsh but this little girl needs a reality check so she understands that the world does not revolve around her and that the amount of fun she has is 100% dependent on her.
Exactly. Some kids need to see that line is there.. black and white with BIG consequences!
AllDeezBabies 10:25 AM 07-22-2013
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here.
I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying.
Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here.
I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying. Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
daycare 10:27 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here. I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying.
Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
oh dear that is just horrible...I am so sorry you are going through this....I am sending you some of my back bone strength....stay strong and hang in there...She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here.
I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying. Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
Crystal 10:38 AM 07-22-2013
Document and get ready for a visit. If she is threatening that she suspects abuse, your big NO to her may cause her to retaliate and make false accusations against you.
Good luck.
Good luck.
AllDeezBabies 10:42 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
oh dear that is just horrible...I am so sorry you are going through this....I am sending you some of my back bone strength....stay strong and hang in there...
Thank you so much. My feelings are truly hurt. I did so much for this family and to be repaid like this sucks.oh dear that is just horrible...I am so sorry you are going through this....I am sending you some of my back bone strength....stay strong and hang in there...
AllDeezBabies 10:44 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Document and get ready for a visit. If she is threatening that she suspects abuse, your big NO to her may cause her to retaliate and make false accusations against you.
Good luck.
I made a call to my licensing rep after it happened. I also faxed over to her the correspondence log for this parent. Thank you so muchDocument and get ready for a visit. If she is threatening that she suspects abuse, your big NO to her may cause her to retaliate and make false accusations against you.
Good luck.
Blackcat31 10:57 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here. I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying.
Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here.
I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying. Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
for handling it so professionally! Well done!! You are right....sometimes income forces providers to put up with a lot more than they should and in my personal opinion that simply sucks....
No amount of money is worth it in some cases and in this one, I'd have to say you are coming out ahead by not having to deal with that anymore.
Wowza!
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:25 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I'd put her to bed upon arrival. I'd say to her, in front of Mom, "This behavior is telling me you are tired. You need to lay down and rest until you feel rested enough to join the group" And then I'd lay her down until she quit. I would do it every single time.
And, yes, I'd take away privileges like field trips as well.
Brilliant!I'd put her to bed upon arrival. I'd say to her, in front of Mom, "This behavior is telling me you are tired. You need to lay down and rest until you feel rested enough to join the group" And then I'd lay her down until she quit. I would do it every single time.
And, yes, I'd take away privileges like field trips as well.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:26 AM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here. I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying.
Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
Please invoice them for the damage done to your door as well. That is RIDICULOUS!She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here.
I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying. Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
Familycare71 02:39 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here. I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying.
Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
She came today. Mom didn't walk in she had to drag her in. She kicked my sliding closet door so hard it has a big crack down the middle. I told mom damage to personal property will not be tolerated. She needs to bring her when she is settled and I showed her the way out.
Mom calls me from the outside of my door saying she is pulling them from care because she thinks dcg is being abused here.
I told her she can pull her no problem. I opened the door and asked dcg if she has ever been hit or treated wrong while here, dcg says no. I gathered the children's belongings and handed them to mom. As they were leaving dcb says "I love you Ms. C" and gives me a hug dcg immediately stops crying. Now she is calling me non stop. I'm not answering. I need the income but I'm not willing to get it this way.
RUN DON'T WALK!!! Wow!! I don't see that one coming!!!
Familycare71 02:40 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I'd put her to bed upon arrival. I'd say to her, in front of Mom, "This behavior is telling me you are tired. You need to lay down and rest until you feel rested enough to join the group" And then I'd lay her down until she quit. I would do it every single time.
And, yes, I'd take away privileges like field trips as well.
Love this btw- think its what I would have done!I'd put her to bed upon arrival. I'd say to her, in front of Mom, "This behavior is telling me you are tired. You need to lay down and rest until you feel rested enough to join the group" And then I'd lay her down until she quit. I would do it every single time.
And, yes, I'd take away privileges like field trips as well.
Cradle2crayons 04:13 PM 07-22-2013
I'd send her a demand for payment of two weeks notice, a termination letter, and a bill for damages. To be due in full IMMEDIATELY.
Unregistered 05:47 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I'd send her a demand for payment of two weeks notice, a termination letter, and a bill for damages. To be due in full IMMEDIATELY.
And do it TODAY dated because when DHS comes to your door, you'll have documentation ready to go. I'd send her a demand for payment of two weeks notice, a termination letter, and a bill for damages. To be due in full IMMEDIATELY.
Additionally, I would tell mom to TEXT you. I'd text and say "I see you have been calling, did you forget something here?" And let her sink herself by begging you back> When she does that, save the text. When DHS comes over, show them that obviously, you couldn't have abused the kid because if so, why would mom beg you back? Exact type of situation happened to me, and the parent DID call dhs on me but then I let her put all her dirty laundry in writing.
AllDeezBabies 06:38 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
And do it TODAY dated because when DHS comes to your door, you'll have documentation ready to go.
Additionally, I would tell mom to TEXT you. I'd text and say "I see you have been calling, did you forget something here?" And let her sink herself by begging you back> When she does that, save the text. When DHS comes over, show them that obviously, you couldn't have abused the kid because if so, why would mom beg you back? Exact type of situation happened to me, and the parent DID call dhs on me but then I let her put all her dirty laundry in writing.
And do it TODAY dated because when DHS comes to your door, you'll have documentation ready to go.
Additionally, I would tell mom to TEXT you. I'd text and say "I see you have been calling, did you forget something here?" And let her sink herself by begging you back> When she does that, save the text. When DHS comes over, show them that obviously, you couldn't have abused the kid because if so, why would mom beg you back? Exact type of situation happened to me, and the parent DID call dhs on me but then I let her put all her dirty laundry in writing.
She left me 3 voice messages asking me to call her back because she over reacted when I told her I wasn't taking dcg. I saved the messages but I'm not calling back. I can't face this situation again now that I see how you really are. I'll send the invoice for damages and the term letter off tomorrow. At this point I could care less about the two weeks notice pay. I'm just glad they are no longer here.
AllDeezBabies 06:41 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I'd send her a demand for payment of two weeks notice, a termination letter, and a bill for damages. To be due in full IMMEDIATELY.
I will send the term letter and invoice for property damage tomorrow. I don't care about the two week payment. Im done with her.I'd send her a demand for payment of two weeks notice, a termination letter, and a bill for damages. To be due in full IMMEDIATELY.
Familycare71 06:41 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
She left me 3 voice messages asking me to call her back because she over reacted when I told her I wasn't taking dcg. I saved the messages but I'm not calling back. I can't face this situation again now that I see how you really are. I'll send the invoice for damages and the term letter off tomorrow. At this point I could care less about the two weeks notice pay. I'm just glad they are no longer here.
Jeez!! No kidding she over reacted!!! Ugh!She left me 3 voice messages asking me to call her back because she over reacted when I told her I wasn't taking dcg. I saved the messages but I'm not calling back. I can't face this situation again now that I see how you really are. I'll send the invoice for damages and the term letter off tomorrow. At this point I could care less about the two weeks notice pay. I'm just glad they are no longer here.
So sorry you had to go through this- a lot of parents just don't understand how much we put into all of this and each kid! Glad you will be done with her!
As others say: NEXT!!
nannyde 06:58 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
She left me 3 voice messages asking me to call her back because she over reacted when I told her I wasn't taking dcg. I saved the messages but I'm not calling back. I can't face this situation again now that I see how you really are. I'll send the invoice for damages and the term letter off tomorrow. At this point I could care less about the two weeks notice pay. I'm just glad they are no longer here.
She just doesn't have daycare tomorrow. She took a stand today telling you you WILL be a witness and victim to her and her child's outrageous behavior. She thinks you want the money badly enough to put up with her dog and poney show every day. You told her you don't want the money and now her whole mindset went up in smoke. She left me 3 voice messages asking me to call her back because she over reacted when I told her I wasn't taking dcg. I saved the messages but I'm not calling back. I can't face this situation again now that I see how you really are. I'll send the invoice for damages and the term letter off tomorrow. At this point I could care less about the two weeks notice pay. I'm just glad they are no longer here.
Now she is trying to get back on top of the relationship because she doesn't have care. As soon as you allow her back Iin she will give you an encore performance day one.
Familycare71 07:00 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She just doesn't have daycare tomorrow. She took a stand today telling you you WILL be a witness and victim to her and her child's outrageous behavior. She thinks you want the money badly enough to put up with her dog and poney show every day. You told her you don't want the money and now her whole mindset went up in smoke.
Now she is trying to get back on top of the relationship because she doesn't have care. As soon as you allow her back Iin she will give you an encore performance day one.
She just doesn't have daycare tomorrow. She took a stand today telling you you WILL be a witness and victim to her and her child's outrageous behavior. She thinks you want the money badly enough to put up with her dog and poney show every day. You told her you don't want the money and now her whole mindset went up in smoke.
Now she is trying to get back on top of the relationship because she doesn't have care. As soon as you allow her back Iin she will give you an encore performance day one.
Unregistered 05:42 PM 07-23-2013
I have two boys that have started to do the same at drop off. After the 3rd instance, I just started walking out to meet them in the driveway. They're my first drop off of the day. I let Mom know that the freak outs were waking my family, and that I'd just be picking them up outside. I walk right to the car, grab each kid by the hand, and walk back inside. No long goodbyes, no kisses, just see you later! They're just fine now.
AllDeezBabies 07:52 PM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
Jeez!! No kidding she over reacted!!! Ugh!
So sorry you had to go through this- a lot of parents just don't understand how much we put into all of this and each kid! Glad you will be done with her!
As others say: NEXT!!
Jeez!! No kidding she over reacted!!! Ugh!
So sorry you had to go through this- a lot of parents just don't understand how much we put into all of this and each kid! Glad you will be done with her!
As others say: NEXT!!
That's the thing that kills me. They think we just sit and look at their children. I mean I put a lot into these children. But like you said NEXT!!
AllDeezBabies 07:55 PM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She just doesn't have daycare tomorrow. She took a stand today telling you you WILL be a witness and victim to her and her child's outrageous behavior. She thinks you want the money badly enough to put up with her dog and poney show every day. You told her you don't want the money and now her whole mindset went up in smoke.
Now she is trying to get back on top of the relationship because she doesn't have care. As soon as you allow her back Iin she will give you an encore performance day one.
OMG this is sooooo true. You are saying the exact same thing my husband said. She just doesn't have daycare tomorrow. She took a stand today telling you you WILL be a witness and victim to her and her child's outrageous behavior. She thinks you want the money badly enough to put up with her dog and poney show every day. You told her you don't want the money and now her whole mindset went up in smoke.
Now she is trying to get back on top of the relationship because she doesn't have care. As soon as you allow her back Iin she will give you an encore performance day one.
I finally took her call today. I told her no one will put up with her child acting in that manner. I just so happen to be the one to deal with it as long as I did because I was convinced I would be the one to make her comfortable enough to not do it. It had nothing to do with money but everything to do with my love of children.
I told her I'm not willing to take her back as a client because I refuse to be responsible for correcting what she created. If she wants consistent childcare, she needs to get her and her daughters act together.
Familycare71 07:58 PM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
That's the thing that kills me. They think we just sit and look at their children. I mean I put a lot into these children. But like you said NEXT!!
That's the thing that kills me. They think we just sit and look at their children. I mean I put a lot into these children. But like you said NEXT!!
here's hoping the next one is a great fit!!! And the parents aren't crazy!!
akpayne 10:40 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by AllDeezBabies:
OMG this is sooooo true. You are saying the exact same thing my husband said.
I finally took her call today. I told her no one will put up with her child acting in that manner. I just so happen to be the one to deal with it as long as I did because I was convinced I would be the one to make her comfortable enough to not do it. It had nothing to do with money but everything to do with my love of children.
I told her I'm not willing to take her back as a client because I refuse to be responsible for correcting what she created. If she wants consistent childcare, she needs to get her and her daughters act together.
Good for you for standing up for yourself! Hopefully this is a wake up call for this woman to get her act togetherOMG this is sooooo true. You are saying the exact same thing my husband said.
I finally took her call today. I told her no one will put up with her child acting in that manner. I just so happen to be the one to deal with it as long as I did because I was convinced I would be the one to make her comfortable enough to not do it. It had nothing to do with money but everything to do with my love of children.
I told her I'm not willing to take her back as a client because I refuse to be responsible for correcting what she created. If she wants consistent childcare, she needs to get her and her daughters act together.