Hello!

I am a newbie and started my business this last year. I took on a family of 3 children ages 3, 5, and 7. The 7 year old is with me non school days and before/after school. They are going through a difficult time with their mother being out of the picture due to mental illness and recently they divorced. Their dad is a single dad. The 7 year old is hard to care for because of many reasons. I realized all my toys, activities, and schedule is not suited for anyone over 6. I know I should have known that but I thought a school age child would be ok if he was a helper and only here a few hours a day. Secondly, he is rough on my toys, house, and with other children. He has broken things and does not listen to me. He runs around and gets the other children to do naughty things also. He has a kind heart and can be good some days, but mostly, he is having an negative influence on the other kids, specifically my 3 year old boy. My son does everything, good and bad, that this child does including not listen to me. Each day is getting harder as he gets bigger and my child is becoming more and more defiant along with him. There just aren't kids his age here and he doesn't play well with the little ones I am watching. Another infant just started here also and so I need all the kids to be aware and not run, throw toys, etc. His dad and I have had conversations at length about his behavior and recently I brought up summer care, conveying that I don't think he would be happy in my care on full days. I even sent him information about the summer care provided at his school. It is cheaper and they go on field trips. He would be with kids his own age. Today was the last straw as he had 2 time outs in the hour he was here. He ended up swiveling his chair around after repeatly being told not to, and made a huge dent in my wall along with knocking my wedding frames off the wall breaking them. I know I need to do what is best for me and my family first. BUT my question is, "how do I go about terming him, and not his siblings." I can work with them and they listen better although I still have some challenges with the 5 year old. If I loose all 3, I would be just take on another full time child, but I don't want to have to do that. I hate to start a new child right now.

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I would tell Dad that you are unable to care for school-age kids any more, but be prepared to lose them all, unfortunately.

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I had to term a school aged girl once because of constant bullying. I hated it but it was all the other parents against one. Her little sister went with her.

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I would give an end date and tell dcd why. BUt as others have said, expect for the dcd to take them all.

as a past single parent, I would not have the time or energy to have to travel to different sites to pick up my children.

You will have to do what you will have to do and dcd will do the same.


Perhaps you can try telling him why and tell him that you want to keep the other children he might be able to pull it off, but just be ready for all of them to leave.

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I agree you will likely lose them all. But if you just can't manage him, it may be for the best. Have you tried small rewards?

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