Good morning! I am new here, I’m a father of two beautiful daughters, 1 and 3, and have a third baby on the way. Both of my girls started daycare, three days a week, once they turned one and my wife stopped breastfeeding. I really like our daycare. It is run out of a private home and is somewhat a family business as the owner runs it together with her husband, daughter (in her 20’s) and oldest son (19yo). The people are nice, the house is cozy and very clean and both of my girls seem to have a great time there but I saw something the other day that is bothering me and I don’t know if I could be overreacting.
To start off, I tried searching through the interweb for a similar situation but was unable to find one.
So last week I dropped off my girls a little later than usual and I saw the daycare owners 12yo son changing the diaper to one of the other girls. I didn’t say anything at that moment but I asked my wife later and she also thought it odd.
Today we asked the owner about it and she was very open that she believes that her kids should contribute and learn these valuable life skills. I totally agree that chores are important in a family but here’s my thing:
While I have no problem with the owners husband or 19yo son changing diapers, I am bothered by the 12yo changing my youngest daughters diapers (our 3yo is diaper free, woot woot!). I guess it’s because he’s a boy in the heat of puberty that’s bothering me so much. I want to be clear that I have no reason to think there is abuse or anything like that going on and changing a 1yo diaper is in no way sexual but boys in puberty can be curious and that is what has me worried.
What do you think? Am I just supporting some sort of bias?

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