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daycare 03:52 PM 08-16-2014
I have a DCF that is beyond wonderful. I love them to death. They have one child with me who is 2.5, have been with me since 18months.

The DCP have never been on a vacation so they asked DCK aunt if she could watch DCG for them to go away for their anniversary. DCF leaves me payment and proper request for alternate pick up on Friday morning.

Everything is great all day, parents check in with me to tell me that they arrived at their vacation spot and just letting me know they are still reachable by cell.

About 10 before pick time for DCG, which also happens to be my closing time I get a phone call from the aunt saying there are a million car accidents on the freeway but will be there soon.

To make a really long story short, the Aunt claims that it took her over 4.5 ours to get to my house 21.2 miles from her job and this is why she was 3.5 hours late picking up.

UGH I was sooooooo fumed. I am not mad at the DCP, they have never been late one time to drop off or pick up. In fact felt bad for them that they were left trying to call every person they knew to try and have the kid picked up while on their first vacation after having their kid. They could not stop apologizing and at one point was about to get in their car to come back and pick up DCG. The Aunt did pay me over $200 in late fees in cash at the pick up.

I was so mad that I called the AUNT out on BS. I also told her that she is no longer going to be allowed to pick up her niece and I did not appreciate being lied to. I have not told the DCF yet, as I did not want to ruin their vacation.

Have you ever have to term an emergency contact or alternate pick up before??

How else could I have handled this situation.
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Shell 05:43 PM 08-16-2014
Wow! Good for you not taking any of her nonsense! You are one tough lady
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midaycare 06:10 PM 08-16-2014
I am really impressed! Way to call her out!
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Silly Songs 10:26 AM 08-17-2014
Do you know if there were any accidents on the roads she would take from her job ? Sometimes here this is common. No kidding, my husband has been stuck in traffic for over 2 hours due to some accident. Some areas can get very congested and it takes forever for traffic to get moving .
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daycare 05:36 PM 08-17-2014
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
Do you know if there were any accidents on the roads she would take from her job ? Sometimes here this is common. No kidding, my husband has been stuck in traffic for over 2 hours due to some accident. Some areas can get very congested and it takes forever for traffic to get moving .
well I know for a fact she was lying. she told me she was on X st and X st intersection which is 5 minutes from my house. 25min later still not here, so I call. Now she says she is at her sisters house (her nieces house) becuase she realized there is no car seat. Um ok good how much longer she says oh about an hour. UM they live 5 blocks from me.

So accidents or not, there is NO way it took her 4.5 hours to go 21 miles.

also, I have other dcp that came from the same freeway but much further away and they got here right on time.
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SignMeUp 05:59 PM 08-17-2014
I had an "alternate" pick up a child twenty minutes late last week. I billed the parents and they said they will tell their alternates that it is important to be on time. I didn't have to say a word to them about it -they knew.
Is your good family mortified about it, or what did they say?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 07:34 PM 08-17-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
I had an "alternate" pick up a child twenty minutes late last week. I billed the parents and they said they will tell their alternates that it is important to be on time. I didn't have to say a word to them about it -they knew.
Is your good family mortified about it, or what did they say?
Some parents are like this. But, some people are not. I just told a woman (alternate pick up) that she was late, her late payment was $x.xx, the child could not attend tomorrow unless it was paid, and I would let HER take that up with the child's parents. Then, I smiled. She looked horrified. They may think since THEY aren't responsible for the bill it doesn't really matter and we will be understanding, which is rude and untrue. The world today baffles me.

Good for you.
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daycare 08:04 PM 08-17-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
I had an "alternate" pick up a child twenty minutes late last week. I billed the parents and they said they will tell their alternates that it is important to be on time. I didn't have to say a word to them about it -they knew.
Is your good family mortified about it, or what did they say?
they were beyond embarrassed and apologetic. I won't see them until tomorrow, but they called, text and sent an email saying sorry.

It is not in their character to do something like that so I was not upset with them at all.

I still have not told them that I will no longer for the aunt to be an alternate pick up. I have never had to fire/term an alternate before. Guess there is a first for everything!!

My husband said she is 86, but I don't know what that means?? I looked it up and didn't find an answer.
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SignMeUp 08:12 PM 08-17-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Some parents are like this. But, some people are not. I just told a woman (alternate pick up) that she was late, her late payment was $x.xx, the child could not attend tomorrow unless it was paid, and I would let HER take that up with the child's parents. Then, I smiled. She looked horrified. They may think since THEY aren't responsible for the bill it doesn't really matter and we will be understanding, which is rude and untrue. The world today baffles me.

Good for you.
Oh, me too. I knew I would not get a response from the alternate when she came in and acted defensive right away. There is one person who'd better not ask me for child care She was late because she had to feed her dog
So I went right to the parents; it was care for their child, so the expense is their responsibility. They're a good family, so I figured they would take responsibility. That's why I gave this as a possible response to the problem.
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Crystal 08:57 PM 08-17-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
they were beyond embarrassed and apologetic. I won't see them until tomorrow, but they called, text and sent an email saying sorry.

It is not in their character to do something like that so I was not upset with them at all.

I still have not told them that I will no longer for the aunt to be an alternate pick up. I have never had to fire/term an alternate before. Guess there is a first for everything!!

My husband said she is 86, but I don't know what that means?? I looked it up and didn't find an answer.
86'd is a term used when someone is kicked out and not allowed to return. Most commonly used when someone is kicked out of a bar.
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midaycare 09:26 PM 08-17-2014
Originally Posted by CoachingForQualityImprovement:
86'd is a term used when someone is kicked out and not allowed to return. Most commonly used when someone is kicked out of a bar.
Also used in a restaurant like, "We've 86'd the soup! No more soup tonight." Just slang for no more/not coming back.
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coolconfidentme 04:07 AM 08-18-2014
I had an alternative pick up last week who came about 15 minutes past closing. DCH, who does closing, reminded of the fee. She replied, "I got stuck at work." He was quick to say, "I'm sure they are going to pay you for staying over like me."
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Mister Sir Husband 04:17 AM 08-18-2014
I would be very upset and fuming at being lied to .. but the 200 bucks in late fees she handed me would quickly calm me down. For that kind of money, she could lie to me every day and I'd prolly encourage it. 😊. I would have prolly told the aunt to get here when you can, no hurry, but bring me more cash if your late. 💲
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Laurel 04:55 AM 08-18-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I had an alternative pick up last week who came about 15 minutes past closing. DCH, who does closing, reminded of the fee. She replied, "I got stuck at work." He was quick to say, "I'm sure they are going to pay you for staying over like me."
Great answer!
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Laurel 04:56 AM 08-18-2014
Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
I would be very upset and fuming at being lied to .. but the 200 bucks in late fees she handed me would quickly calm me down. For that kind of money, she could lie to me every day and I'd prolly encourage it. 😊. I would have prolly told the aunt to get here when you can, no hurry, but bring me more cash if your late. 💲

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CraftyMom 04:57 AM 08-18-2014
3.5 hours after you closed? That is a REALLY long time to be late!

What did DCK do the whole time?

I'd be furious! I don't care how much money she handed me! I have a part time job after daycare some nights and that would have made me miss work!

On nights I don't work my kids have their activities that we also would have missed (or took dck with me which I would also be upset about!)
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Mister Sir Husband 06:48 AM 08-18-2014
Speaking only for myself here.. but given a choice of going to another job and earning a few bucks that evening.. or taking an extra kid with me somewhere.. weighed against collecting an extra 200+ in cash... I'd grab the cash 😊. Now obviously I don't know other providers actual situations and I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that so many on this site are struggling with payment of late fees and yet others are upset this aunt was clearly and excessively late, but walked in with money in hand. That's what late fees are for, to cover the inconvenience of having a child extra time. I'd take the money, smile, and tell her there's no rush picking up in the future as long as you bring your checkbook.
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Blackcat31 07:08 AM 08-18-2014
Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
Speaking only for myself here.. but given a choice of going to another job and earning a few bucks that evening.. or taking an extra kid with me somewhere.. weighed against collecting an extra 200+ in cash... I'd grab the cash ��. Now obviously I don't know other providers actual situations and I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that so many on this site are struggling with payment of late fees and yet others are upset this aunt was clearly and excessively late, but walked in with money in hand. That's what late fees are for, to cover the inconvenience of having a child extra time. I'd take the money, smile, and tell her there's no rush picking up in the future as long as you bring your checkbook.
I agree about the many issues providers have with late pick ups, but for me the late fee is NOT about making extra money (although, that IS nice in some cases of extremely late) but for me the money is suppose to be a deterrent to not pick up late at all.

Money seems to be the best way to communicate the "don't do it" part of it as parents don't always respond to clear rules and policies.

I find lateness with no communication or lateness in the extreme to be VERY disrespectful and rude. I feel being late says "MY time (parent) is MORE important than yours" and that is so not cool.

My late fee is a flat inconvenience fee + $1 per minute. Those fees double with each occurrence and ends with IMMEDIATE termination the 3rd instance.

Also, late to me is a few minutes. Anything beyond the 20-30 minute mark is just not acceptable to me.

Licensing here doesn't allow me to care for a child beyond business hours and I can NOT take a child with me if I don't have the proper insurance and permissions, which I don't have because I refuse to ever have to transport a DCK. A child left here beyond 30 minutes of my closing time requires a call to CPS and they take it from there.

In OP's case, I personally would not bar the Aunt from picking up as I feel that is something the family itself needs to handle/manage and if the Aunt was/is late, the fee still needs to be paid (I don't care WHO pays it) and the family should have to sort out the mess with their own family member. They can tell the Aunt, that her behavior could have cost them their daycare space etc and that she cannot be late again.

I also feel that barring the Aunt from being on the pick up list may hinder the parent if they ever need to have her pick up again as not everyone has an extensive list of family/friends that will be a contact person for them.

I feel that if the Aunt was representing the family then the frustration should be aimed at the family who appointed the Aunt to fill in for them and let them deal with it as a family.

As the provider I would not be mad AT the parents but I would let THEM (not the aunt) know I WAS angry about the situation and that they need to figure it out as it can't happen again without possibly risking their space.
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daycare 08:25 AM 08-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree about the many issues providers have with late pick ups, but for me the late fee is NOT about making extra money (although, that IS nice in some cases of extremely late) but for me the money is suppose to be a deterrent to not pick up late at all.

Money seems to be the best way to communicate the "don't do it" part of it as parents don't always respond to clear rules and policies.

I find lateness with no communication or lateness in the extreme to be VERY disrespectful and rude. I feel being late says "MY time (parent) is MORE important than yours" and that is so not cool.

My late fee is a flat inconvenience fee + $1 per minute. Those fees double with each occurrence and ends with IMMEDIATE termination the 3rd instance.

Also, late to me is a few minutes. Anything beyond the 20-30 minute mark is just not acceptable to me.

Licensing here doesn't allow me to care for a child beyond business hours and I can NOT take a child with me if I don't have the proper insurance and permissions, which I don't have because I refuse to ever have to transport a DCK. A child left here beyond 30 minutes of my closing time requires a call to CPS and they take it from there.

In OP's case, I personally would not bar the Aunt from picking up as I feel that is something the family itself needs to handle/manage and if the Aunt was/is late, the fee still needs to be paid (I don't care WHO pays it) and the family should have to sort out the mess with their own family member. They can tell the Aunt, that her behavior could have cost them their daycare space etc and that she cannot be late again.

I also feel that barring the Aunt from being on the pick up list may hinder the parent if they ever need to have her pick up again as not everyone has an extensive list of family/friends that will be a contact person for them.

I feel that if the Aunt was representing the family then the frustration should be aimed at the family who appointed the Aunt to fill in for them and let them deal with it as a family.

As the provider I would not be mad AT the parents but I would let THEM (not the aunt) know I WAS angry about the situation and that they need to figure it out as it can't happen again without possibly risking their space.
I was beyond furious. I don't want the additional money. N O amount of money can replace missing my sons first football game at Friday NIght Lights.

I did tell the family that because this was the second time that she was late picking up and all of the hassle she created with her lies that I will no longer accept her as an alternate pick up.

The DCM said she completely understood and that she was beyond sorry, offered to take us out to dinner, which I kindly declined.


Now thinking back, I actually termed a GMA before for causing lots of issues. The family is still here.
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rebekki78 08:42 AM 08-18-2014
I did not term a family pick up person for being late after hours, but for always being late upon drop off. I never knew when dcg would be dropped off by said person, and they never had respect for anyone other then themselves, especially when it came to time. It got to be frustrating, especially when we had things planned. I almost wanted to implement a fee for late drop off but this person was the ONLY person that never called/texted when they were running hours late, so I just termed drop off person. There are so many odd circumstances that I have encountered. If I had a contract to cover them all individually then the it would be a book the size of a dictionary. So sometimes I have rules for a family to family basis, such as that one.
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rebekki78 08:43 AM 08-18-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I had an alternative pick up last week who came about 15 minutes past closing. DCH, who does closing, reminded of the fee. She replied, "I got stuck at work." He was quick to say, "I'm sure they are going to pay you for staying over like me."
Love it. I am not always as witty as I wish I could be!
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