...ughhhh. You may remember me talking about a dcg I take care of who's mother had a very difficult time taking the bottle away. At about 18 mos old I told her I was not going to continue with bottle. She was getting 5-6 bottles per day at home and refusing to drink milk out of the sippy. Would drink water beautifully. We finally ended up putting a little bit of chocolate in the milk and then she complied. Finally mom shows up one Monday about 2 mos ago and says, no more bottles or pacifiers, we stopped this weekend. I was surprised about the pacifier, but okay. Dcg did great. Fast forward 6 weeks or so from then, mom shows up with dcg and there is a pacifier in her mouth. "She found a couple of them in the bottom of her bag." I stand there dumbfounded, did not say anything. Mom walks away, I take pacifier out of her mouth and put it back into her bag. Child was fine without it. Every day since then, arrives with pacifier, same routine, I put it away. This kid loves naptime, always lays right down and goes to sleep. Now she is crying for her pacifier. I had to move her into a separate room from the rest.

Obviously this mother is not ready to let go of her "baby". I think she will be an only child. I think the longer they wait to take away the pacifier again, the worse it will be. Would you say something to the mother about this, or let her live out her fantasy.

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With my 3rd, I'd gotten so over the pacifier thing (she only used them for naps) that I said I'd let her trade them for a Barbie or something when she was ready. I really didn't care if she had one, honestly.

But, then around her 2nd bday, she started sticking the WHOLE pacifier in her mouth.

THE END! Bye bye paci...

Maybe mom needs to be worried that at this point, that pacifier may be a safety issue...

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Personally, I'd not mention what she does at home. I'd make a short statement of what effects your program and what you expect from mom to resolve it. Problem + Solution.

"Mary, the pacifier is causing new problems at naptime. I need you to leave it in the car at drop-off from now on. Thanks. "

Cut and dry.

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Several years ago I had a little girl that was 7.. still using a pacifier..
It was CRAZY...
7 years old..
The mom would arrive to drop her off.. it was in her mouth..she'd try to talk to her mom with it in her mouth.. her mom would let her..! double crazy..
But..
My philosophy is..
I HONESTLY do not care what they do at their home..
I run this show.. lol..
I did allow her to have it.. AT NAPTIME ONLY... she was absolutely not allowed to attempt to speak to me with it in her mouth..
and the moment naptime was over.. I took it and put it away..

My rules regarding paci's.. or .. as we call my granddaughter's 'pappy'...
any child that is in a crib... can have their 'pappy'...
but if they are out crawling.. or walking in daycare room.. NO PAPPY...
I don't have time to search for them when they drop them and they get lost..
They can always have them at nap...no problem..
sometimes I have several to pass out for nap.. other times not..
My granddaughter is 21 months old.. when naptime is over..
I say.. bring me your 'pappy'.. she pulls it out of her mouth.. and hands it to me..
all kids do...
Why.. because THAT IS THE RULE HERE .. and they know it..

Bottles....
I begin to transition a baby from bottle to Nuk cup with handles about 7 months old...
as soon as they are drinking good from that cup.. I stop giving them a bottle completely...
I've had parents that continued to give bottles until child was over 18 months old.. who knows.. MAYBE OLDER for all I know..
Honestly.. if they want to deal with that issue .. let them..
but.. when that child walks in my door.... they get a cup.. PERIOD..
I've always said.. if they have the motor skills to HOLD their own bottle.. then they can HOLD their own cup...

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I am just like you texasjeepgirl.

I don't care what you do at home...I do what I need to do here that works for me and the rest is history.

All of my DCF are baffeled on how I get the kids to do without things or get them to do things they would never do at home...

As I tell them, well bottles, pacifiers, and junk food are never an option here, so if I never allow it here, then they will never expect it here.

All of my DCKs but 3 out of 14 here are on pacifiers at home. 4 still on a bottle.....No one will ever be here because I don't allow for either.... btw my ages are 20 months to 5years not enrolled in school.

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My daycare kids are off bottles and pacifiers well before parents are ready to wean off.

Babies are 100% on sippy cups at 10 to 11 months old.
I take pacifiers away at the same time as I take away the bottle. They cannot keep their pacis with them, pacis stay in bed for naptime only.

I had one dcg 19 mo. I had completely weaned her off her paci at 11 mo.I saw the family at the store dcg had paci in her mouth. Dcm stuttered out well she just got up from a nap. Yeah right!!

It's just like Daycare said if you allow it then it is an option, as soon as you take away that option its not an expectation anymore.

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So how old is the little girl now? Do you allow other children to have their pacifier during the day or just at naptime? I would give her the pacifier at naptime if she's getting it at home. Why not? You don't have to worry about her sharing it with other kids in her bed, you don't have to look for it. I definately would not let her walk around with it though. Like you said, you don't have time to search for it when she drops it somewhere.

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I had a dck who stopped getting paci here at 11 mo, both play and at nap. Shes 2.5 and still has paci at home. Doesnt talk either Duh! Mom is clueless. Luckily shes no longer a dck and just an unfortunate distant family member.

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Dcg was beside herself this morning. Kept asking for her paci and going to her cubby. She eventually got over it. The neighbor was sure she was sick because she looked so pathetic. Upon pick up, she immediately went to her bag and started whining for her paci. Mom didn't understand immediately what she was saying (she is 22 mos old). I said, "She's been whining for that all day. She's having to relearn that she does not get to use it here." Mom started to say something, then looked embarrassed and quickly left, I'm sure to give her the paci, as soon as they got to the car. Tomorrow paci will be put in a different room!

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So if she is still getting it at home, why don't you give it to her at your house? I totally get not having it walking around during the day, but why not at naptime?

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tell the mom that it could effect her speech and just get rid of the pacifier yourself, don't put it back in the bag. It can also effect the line up of her teeth. I would also mention that is confusing to the child to keep going back and fourth. I would say something to the mother and tell her what your policy at care is about the binky.

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This makes me think of a good question. Does everyone have a certain age cutoff to taking the bink away? Does it matter to you if they still have it at home or that it's okay with their parents?

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I have a almost 3yr old that has a paci when they arrive and it goes straight into their bin. They know and I never ask BUT I can tell they get it at home all the live long day. Amazing overbite and we have some speech issues. With that being said, parent knows I have the kid put it away and the kid never ever whines for it here but as soon as they leave WHAM! Cry fest 2012 for mom or dad to have it on the way home. Mom is sheepish I know but by 5 is like WHATEVER HERE and out the door.

I also have a 3.5yr old here who has eating issues for me and I found the kid still gets a bottle at home.

Both of these parents are educators and know how things roll but when it comes down to it, I think it's just an easier route to give in.

My kid is an only child and I was like LET'S MOVE ON ALREADY! When it came to pacis, bottles and diapers. When he was sick at 6mo with a stuffy nose for a week and couldn't take the paci I never gave it back. At one year two weeks he was off the bottle and he was ready and potty trained within a week right before he turned 3. Also helps I stay home I believe. Here tho, I'm the same way. Off bottles at 1yr, pacis go in buckets, potty trained when they are ready and not waiting 6mo with a Pullup.

I'm just tired of cleaning pacis and bottles. At 3yrs I shouldn't have to deal with it and I don't. Lol

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I only have one with a paci right now and he's 14 months old. I have to say that I kinda like it because he tends not to put every toy in his mouth

I can control how much the child gets it here, but cannot and wouldn't try to tell the parent what to do on their own time. I prefer to keep the paci's in their bed if they are still using them. That way they can't share them with others and I don't have to look for them or clean them. No big deal. I really don't think it's for me to tell the parent what to do in their own home, just like I wouldn't put up with them telling me what to do in mine.

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as far as telling the parent not to give bottle or paci anymore, they are going to do what they want anyway, so if you dont want them to have it, you only have control over what goes on in your home. you can mention it, but either they will heed your words or say they took them away when they really didnt

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I dont even bother telling parents what the research says or what the dentist recommends. They dont care or they would be doing it already. Never once have I shared information like that and gotten a serious, "OMG I NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE" reaction. They know. They dont want to do the work that it requires to not do it. Go ahead and ruin your kids teeth and give them a terrible overbite. Your money your problem.

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I just read this and thought it was interesting to share regarding pacifiers and thumbsucking: (copies and pasted from another site)

Permanent teeth usually start showing up by age 4 to 6, and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) recommends that parents help children put a stop to these habits by age 3.

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