How Long?

How long do you wait to call a parent for pick up when a child does nothing but whine and cry? 16 months old does not know how to self soothe.

As soon as you pick him up it stops.

How do you address this issue with the parent? This can’t continue!

[CenterTeacher20]

Following for answers, but in my case, its a 2 year old. She turned 2 in September.

[Cat Herder]

I usually put a star on the calendar for two weeks, if no improvement, I term.

Is this his first daycare experience?

Have you tried graduated extinction, redirection and active ignoring?

I tend to use a combination of those until they join in.

[Ariana]

I don’t call for pickup because it reinforces the crying. I cry, I get to go home, so why stop! Give it two weeks and if you see absolutely no improvement terminate care. You should see some improvement after a few days, up to a week. If not give it another week and if not at that time there is a serious attachment issue that can’t be solved.

It’s unfair to the other kids and myself to have to listen to screaming for two weeks.

[Ariana]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

It’s unfair to the other kids and myself to have to listen to screaming for two weeks.

Then term immediately! It’s up to you. I am just saying what works and what usually happens. Calling for pickup each time will not help because he is still not learning to self soothe. Self soothing happens when a child is left to cry, realizes he is ok and is able to stop himself without intervention. It can take two weeks for kids with normal attachments.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

It’s unfair to the other kids and myself to have to listen to screaming for two weeks.

There is your answer, then.

Each person has to know their own limits. I used to work at it 30 days, now two weeks is as far as I am willing to go.

[Cat Herder]

I thought about this some more and remembered my last non-stop whining/crying 16 month old. He was a nightmare in the mornings and wanted to sleep after breakfast, kept laying around, refusing to play.

It turned out his parents were giving him dinner at 5 pm, putting him to bed at 7 pm, getting him up at 5 am, taking him to work until drop off (opening time) at 7:30 am without giving him breakfast. They stopped with the evening and morning bottles at 12 months.

Breakfast is at 8:30 am, here.

15.5 hours without food or water. And DCM felt it was my issue to fix. "He cry's all the way to your house and just isn't sleeping well at night, anymore. Is there something going on during the day? Has something changed? Any other kids having this issue?"

Sometimes the answer requires a little more digging.