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jokalima 07:35 AM 02-04-2013
Just wondering how do you manage to have a social life? I am @ home all day every day no co-workers, weekends use to either visit family and clean plus one day of weekend do grocery for DC, house seems to never be the way I like it so even when DC is closed during weekends I find myself cleaning and putting things together. Don't have time to make friends or spend time with others, sometimes I try to convince myself I don't really need it but truth is I sometimes do feel the need of having other people in my life, grown ups I mean

I am not from here, I moved here about 7 years ago and started working, did not focused on making lots of friends, then I started the DC and now I see that I have no time to spend with other adults. How do you manage your social life
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rmc20021 07:56 AM 02-04-2013
I haven't done it yet this time around, but when I had my daycare back when my kids were little and my husband was a truck driver so he was never home...I took that opportunity to take whatever classes I could take.
During my previous years of doing daycare, I accumulated an EMT (emergency medical technician) certification, an insurance agent license (both of which required a state exam to complete) and also took various other classes through the child care resources (which back then were free and frequest).
These days...I just enjoy my quiet times and do what I want around the house. But I do plan on starting to take classes again in the summer. I was going to this winter but was a day late registering for spring classes.
You never know when the day may come you decide not to do daycare any longer and having credits accumulated will make you more marketable for other types of work...if you ever need it.
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MNMommy2 07:58 AM 02-04-2013
Unfortunately, I have not been able to find that balance.

It doesn't help that I am very introverted and find it hard to make friends due to shyness/social awkwardness. I'm a nice, normal person--just shy.

I have put that on my list of self-improvements for the year, though! I need to get out of my comfort zone and try to meet more people. I have a ton of acquintances around town but only a couple close friends.
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rmc20021 08:02 AM 02-04-2013
I'm extremely shy also...that's why I take the classes. It gets me around other adults with the same interests, yet I don't really have to put forth the effort to be social. And I usually end up at least having adult conversations, not necessarily real friendships, but enough to satisfy my need for adult conversation etc.
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Willow 08:24 AM 02-04-2013
You really have to make an effort to keep a hold of who you are as an individual and seek out your own hobbies and interests.

I too am incredibly introverted so most of mine are largely solo activities, but that's still my time!!!

Hunting runs early spring turkey (April) through late season bow (last day of the year) with 3D shoots in the summer, fall bow season, late fall pheasant/duck/goose season with the dogs and early winter gun season all in between. If a particular critter isn't in season I can still fill my time with shooting practice, food plot planting and tending, setting and checking trail cameras and hiking/observing/documenting.

Fishing is near year round too.

Horseback riding is year round. My dream was always to have my own horse on my own property. At 29 I finally got my first horse, this year I'll finally move her from a boarding situation to our home! I can't wait until the ground thaws and we can get started fencing and building her barn.

My dogs keep me hopping for sure. My two bigs are nuts about retrieving, hiking and and shed hunting and my two littles are always there for spoiling, snuggling and company on car trips.

Hockey is my winter indulgence. I am obsessed with the MN Wild. I don't ever miss a game. If I have to DVR them to watch them in peace I will.

I also like to do huge jigsaw puzzles

All of that is MY time. It's not me giving to my business, or to my family's wants or needs.

During my first marriage I completely lost myself taking care of everyone else. I gained a load of weight and really started hating life. The abuse that ended that marriage aside I can't look back at that end as an entirely bad thing. I re-found myself and I am so soooo much happier now that I make me having a life outside of my work and my family a priority.

Even if you can only start by carving out 5 minutes a day - DO. If you're not sure of what to do with that 5 minutes take one thing you like and figure out how you can expand on that interest.
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MarinaVanessa 08:24 AM 02-04-2013
When I started FCC I immediately started taking classes and looked for a local Resource & Referral agency. The R&R agency had a free training program specifically for family child care providers so I joined that so that I could meet other DC providers. Meeting other ladies there that were in the same business as I was in really helped me. Some lived in my immediate area and we exchanged info and plan park days a few times a month. This interaction with humans that are over 4 ft tall really helps .

I also joined my local child care association and got really involved. I started off volunteering to help out when I could and got to meet even more people that do daycare. It's great to have people to call and chat with when I have an issue.

If there are any groups in your area like these you could try that. It can benefit you both business-wise (training/education) and socially (support system).

And like Willow says, having your own hobbies helps also. Set time aside to spend on yourself. I personally love photography and collect miniature dollhouses and accessories. I make time to take my kids out to the park or to other places and take my camera with me. I also take time to work on my dollhouses (I have 2 right now that I'm working on building). My DH and I take time to do adult only dinners with friends and that helps out a lot with the need to unwind.
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jokalima 09:31 AM 02-04-2013
Nice, thanks a lot for the tips.

I am also extremely shy, one of my biggest problems is the language, I can handle speaking in English to 1-2 people that I know at a time, but put me in a group of strangers that speak English and I will forget every single word of English I know,is terrible. My other problem is that my close friends are back home, here only people I met during my last job before home DC so is not like I have close friends or a chance to make them. But I am going to look to the class thing, I think it might help a lot. I also have to find energy, because maybe doing activities with my child like going to the park might help as well, but I am always so tired after DC that I just want to do NOTHING and my child pays for it Thanks again for tips and keep posting so I can get more ideas.
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daycarediva 09:47 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
When I started FCC I immediately started taking classes and looked for a local Resource & Referral agency. The R&R agency had a free training program specifically for family child care providers so I joined that so that I could meet other DC providers. Meeting other ladies there that were in the same business as I was in really helped me. Some lived in my immediate area and we exchanged info and plan park days a few times a month. This interaction with humans that are over 4 ft tall really helps .

I also joined my local child care association and got really involved. I started off volunteering to help out when I could and got to meet even more people that do daycare. It's great to have people to call and chat with when I have an issue.

If there are any groups in your area like these you could try that. It can benefit you both business-wise (training/education) and socially (support system).

And like Willow says, having your own hobbies helps also. Set time aside to spend on yourself. I personally love photography and collect miniature dollhouses and accessories. I make time to take my kids out to the park or to other places and take my camera with me. I also take time to work on my dollhouses (I have 2 right now that I'm working on building). My DH and I take time to do adult only dinners with friends and that helps out a lot with the need to unwind.
I am not from here and although some of my (awesome) dcm's have suggested I go out with them on weekends, I don't mix business and have turned them down.

I do as Marina says and go to CCR&R classes, I met a few providers there that I clicked with and one is VERY close to me, so we meet at the park 1-2x a month (or more in summer) and then we get to chat. It's also an AWESOME sounding board for daycare kid issues, behavior and such as the other provider can see it and usually has a different perspective.

I also take time for myself. Go get your nails done or get a pedi. Adult beauty shop conversation is entertaining. I go to the gym, go tanning 3-4x a week and 1-2x a month I get my nails done. That's Mommy time, and it makes me a happier person.
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VTMom 09:48 AM 02-04-2013
I agree with the class ideas. I take yoga weekly, even when I want to skip it! It's not daycare related, it's good for me, and it's ADULT only! Going every week, you get to know people in the community, and just by smiling and saying "hi", friendships are easily started. I'm getting closer and closer to taking Zumba as well, but that sounds like a lot of work!

Taking that first step is the hardest part. Good luck! I wish you were in my community - I'd drag you to yoga !
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itlw8 09:53 AM 02-04-2013
I have 2 very good friends that also do childcare. We make a point of planning things.If we don't time slips by and we do nothing. our kids are grown but it seems now grand kidsare the problem. 1 has a dd just graduated nursing school ( single parent) and my ds ( single parent ) is going back to school.

get involved with a church and a group in the church. maybe the ladies that always volunteer in the kitchen.
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My3cents 09:55 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by jokalima:
Just wondering how do you manage to have a social life? I am @ home all day every day no co-workers, weekends use to either visit family and clean plus one day of weekend do grocery for DC, house seems to never be the way I like it so even when DC is closed during weekends I find myself cleaning and putting things together. Don't have time to make friends or spend time with others, sometimes I try to convince myself I don't really need it but truth is I sometimes do feel the need of having other people in my life, grown ups I mean

I am not from here, I moved here about 7 years ago and started working, did not focused on making lots of friends, then I started the DC and now I see that I have no time to spend with other adults. How do you manage your social life
After work, I am so exhausted, I want to do nothing. I have to push myself and sometimes that push is not there. I am looking forward to reading more on this thread for ideas too. Thanks for posting. I too feel I need more of a social life, but have a hard time figuring out all of that. I often come here to get that adult stimulation piece. If I have a chance that is, and some days I can and others forget it.
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countrymom 10:01 AM 02-04-2013
my kids are involved in activities so thats how I know alot of parents. I think my problem is that its too much work to keep up a friendship. I know people like to go out and hang out with their friends, but I like to stay at home and have "quiet time"

hobbies is a must, I too love doing puzzles (so do my kids, its so fun) I crochet all the time or read or in the summer I love to sit outside on my porch and enjoy outside time.
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My3cents 10:05 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
You really have to make an effort to keep a hold of who you are as an individual and seek out your own hobbies and interests.

I too am incredibly introverted so most of mine are largely solo activities, but that's still my time!!!

Hunting runs early spring turkey (April) through late season bow (last day of the year) with 3D shoots in the summer, fall bow season, late fall pheasant/duck/goose season with the dogs and early winter gun season all in between. If a particular critter isn't in season I can still fill my time with shooting practice, food plot planting and tending, setting and checking trail cameras and hiking/observing/documenting.

Fishing is near year round too.

Horseback riding is year round. My dream was always to have my own horse on my own property. At 29 I finally got my first horse, this year I'll finally move her from a boarding situation to our home! I can't wait until the ground thaws and we can get started fencing and building her barn.

My dogs keep me hopping for sure. My two bigs are nuts about retrieving, hiking and and shed hunting and my two littles are always there for spoiling, snuggling and company on car trips.

Hockey is my winter indulgence. I am obsessed with the MN Wild. I don't ever miss a game. If I have to DVR them to watch them in peace I will.

I also like to do huge jigsaw puzzles

All of that is MY time. It's not me giving to my business, or to my family's wants or needs.

During my first marriage I completely lost myself taking care of everyone else. I gained a load of weight and really started hating life. The abuse that ended that marriage aside I can't look back at that end as an entirely bad thing. I re-found myself and I am so soooo much happier now that I make me having a life outside of my work and my family a priority.

Even if you can only start by carving out 5 minutes a day - DO. If you're not sure of what to do with that 5 minutes take one thing you like and figure out how you can expand on that interest.
thanks for sharing
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My3cents 10:06 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
When I started FCC I immediately started taking classes and looked for a local Resource & Referral agency. The R&R agency had a free training program specifically for family child care providers so I joined that so that I could meet other DC providers. Meeting other ladies there that were in the same business as I was in really helped me. Some lived in my immediate area and we exchanged info and plan park days a few times a month. This interaction with humans that are over 4 ft tall really helps .

I also joined my local child care association and got really involved. I started off volunteering to help out when I could and got to meet even more people that do daycare. It's great to have people to call and chat with when I have an issue.

If there are any groups in your area like these you could try that. It can benefit you both business-wise (training/education) and socially (support system).

And like Willow says, having your own hobbies helps also. Set time aside to spend on yourself. I personally love photography and collect miniature dollhouses and accessories. I make time to take my kids out to the park or to other places and take my camera with me. I also take time to work on my dollhouses (I have 2 right now that I'm working on building). My DH and I take time to do adult only dinners with friends and that helps out a lot with the need to unwind.
can you share pictures of your doll houses- neat hobby
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canadiancare 10:07 AM 02-04-2013
I have a neighbour who comes over for "chattersize" once a week. We stick an exercise dvd in and just kind of swing our arms around, marching in place while we are talking. I also spend a lot of time on various forums with virtual friends.
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My3cents 10:18 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by jokalima:
Nice, thanks a lot for the tips.

I am also extremely shy, one of my biggest problems is the language, I can handle speaking in English to 1-2 people that I know at a time, but put me in a group of strangers that speak English and I will forget every single word of English I know,is terrible. My other problem is that my close friends are back home, here only people I met during my last job before home DC so is not like I have close friends or a chance to make them. But I am going to look to the class thing, I think it might help a lot. I also have to find energy, because maybe doing activities with my child like going to the park might help as well, but I am always so tired after DC that I just want to do NOTHING and my child pays for it Thanks again for tips and keep posting so I can get more ideas.
This is me.........come closing time I just want to veg,drained. The thoughts of pulling out a project equates to toy picking up or dc messes and I dont want to clean up one more thing- I am quiet until I get to know someone well.
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Sugar Magnolia 10:25 AM 02-04-2013
Ok, I admit I'm a little odd, but I also use my hobby to spend time away from daycare, my own family and especially my husband. (not trying to be mean, but I work with my husband and we need apart time). I go to the beach and do sand sculpture. This always generates conversations with others. Nothing gets people interested more than 5 foot tall sand sculptures! Some people just say hello, some take pictures,.some sit down and talk to me for an hour. It gets me outside, it gets me exercise (its very strenuous, trust me wet sand is heavy), it gets me taking to people, and most of all, it makes me happy to create things. The point is, I guess, to find a hobby that maybe gives you some social interaction, maybe fresh air too. Yep, sand is my thing. And motorcycles. You just have to find your "thing".
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:26 AM 02-04-2013
Monday nights - Bible study for 1 hour with a small group of women.
Saturday nights - Divorce life group at Church for 1.5 hours.
Sunday mornings - Church and chatting with friends.

Those are my definite weekly things. Otherwise, I text message friends daily, Facebook message those that don't enjoy texting, invite others to go to dinner/come over and watch a movie/go run some errands together/etc. I try and hang out with 1 friend each week. If I didn't do these things, the only interactions with adults I would have is with my clients and while some of them are nice they are certainly not my friends.
I moved to this little community almost 1.5 years ago (a little under) and those are the people I do my Bible study with! I also attend Church with them about 20 minutes away in a larger community. The friends I hang out with live in the next town over or even 30 minutes away. It's worth it to me. If you are married or in a relationship, have a date night once a week! MANDATORY!

I am a homebody and very introverted and pretty awkward (hey, Asperger's!) but I find that I get depressed if I am not interacting with other adults. God made you so that you need community and fellowship. We aren't meant to live life alone.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:31 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
I have 2 very good friends that also do childcare. We make a point of planning things.If we don't time slips by and we do nothing. our kids are grown but it seems now grand kidsare the problem. 1 has a dd just graduated nursing school ( single parent) and my ds ( single parent ) is going back to school.

get involved with a church and a group in the church. maybe the ladies that always volunteer in the kitchen.
Oh yes! I met a wonderful provider on this very board who lives less than 5 miles away in another small community near mine. We meet once a month. She is teaching me to crochet!!!
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rmc20021 11:01 AM 02-04-2013
Gives me an idea...anybody on here from sw part of MI, between Kalamazoo and St. Joseph?

Would love to meet locals face to face...just remember I'm a little older than the average provider but I really don't act or feel my age (ok, maybe if I have to shovel snow or carry a heavy 3 year old across the ice from her bus)
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Sugar Magnolia 11:21 AM 02-04-2013
Willow, you sound fun! Except for the jigsaw puzzles!
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Brooksie 11:24 AM 02-04-2013
Social life? Whats that?! haha just kidding. Join your local Child Care Association! Not only do you get free training but you can meet new people that are also dealing with the same things you are. They generally meet once a month with a few month break throughout the year. I know a lot of people that take their groups and meet up at the park, or go on walks together. Seems like a great way to meet people with common interests.
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MNMum 12:00 PM 02-04-2013
I'm in the too exhausted to motivate in the evenings group... We moved back to my hometown to be closer to family and my childhood friends about 1.5 yrs ago. Well, I honestly don't see any of them more often than I did when we lived an hour away. I need to make friends who are in the same stage of life. One of these friends now has a baby, but she works evenings. My extent of spending time with her is when she picks up said baby at 10pm on Thursdays. The other friend has turned into a hermit and won't leave her dog...and its chaos bringing my 3 kids to her place.

I find it is hard, though. I don't really fit in with the SAHMs or the WOHM. My husband and I each have a few different work ventures and at times we are really busy, so I don't make the best friend! We are lucky enough to have old friends with kids that understand, and we see a few couples about 2x/year. I think what I am missing is the "daily" or "weekly" friend.

Springtime will give me more motivation to get out.

How bout everyone's husbands? What do they do for their "me" time? My husband doesn't really have a hobby. He wanted to join a Jujitsu class when he first returned from deployment, but I shot that down as it would require a 6AM class a few days/week and it was ridiculously expensive. We joined the YMCA (the entire family) for less than that cost.
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Meeko 12:02 PM 02-04-2013
I'm very active in my church and so have many friends around the neighborhood.

Since my "dental dilemma" on January 25th we have had 8 evening meals delivered for my family, numerous phone calls offering to run errands, clean house etc. Several of the gals got together and sent a huge bouquet of flowers. Ice-cream has been delivered and homemade apple sauce. I missed a "get together" evening last week. They were swapping smoothie recipes and learning about various topics. They brought me over several smoothie samples and all the recipes for me to try later.

I love 'em all!
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MarinaVanessa 02:03 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by My3cents:
can you share pictures of your doll houses- neat hobby
Sure I'd love to ... any excuse to show off my "precious's" lol. I'll take some and load them later today (one is in the garage and one is upstairs).

But I have to warn you, they're not yet "pretty". I've only just finished the shell on both of them (meaning it's just wood right now, no windows, no doors etc). I'm barely at the primer and paint part .
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Willow 02:35 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Willow, you sound fun! Except for the jigsaw puzzles!
Ya only live once so why not??!

I love that you do sand sculpting. I've never heard of such a thing before


(Puzzles + wine = Even a 500 piecer can become quite an adventure under such circumstances )
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Meeko 02:41 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
Ya only live once so why not??!

I love that you do sand sculpting. I've never heard of such a thing before


(Puzzles + wine = Even a 500 piecer can become quite an adventure under such circumstances )
I LOVE puzzles! I find that and cross-stitch very relaxing.
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Willow 02:42 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by MNMum:
How bout everyone's husbands? What do they do for their "me" time? My husband doesn't really have a hobby. He wanted to join a Jujitsu class when he first returned from deployment, but I shot that down as it would require a 6AM class a few days/week and it was ridiculously expensive. We joined the YMCA (the entire family) for less than that cost.
My hubby is addicted to his job.

If he HAS to have free time he indulges in the same things I do......well, except for the "gluesticks." He doesn't quite understand my obsession with all things equine

He used to be huge into sports but I'm not sure there's any amount of money that could get him to actually work out for get in shapes sake now. He quite likes being "fluffy," says it keeps him warmer in the winter

*I* would love to try Jujitsu if it was offered around here lol. I did look into kick boxing classes last summer but just couldn't make the commitment at the time. I love higher intensity workouts, all that stuff is about as high intensity as you can get!
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Sugar Magnolia 04:07 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by MNMum:
I'm in the too exhausted to motivate in the evenings group... We moved back to my hometown to be closer to family and my childhood friends about 1.5 yrs ago. Well, I honestly don't see any of them more often than I did when we lived an hour away. I need to make friends who are in the same stage of life. One of these friends now has a baby, but she works evenings. My extent of spending time with her is when she picks up said baby at 10pm on Thursdays. The other friend has turned into a hermit and won't leave her dog...and its chaos bringing my 3 kids to her place.

I find it is hard, though. I don't really fit in with the SAHMs or the WOHM. My husband and I each have a few different work ventures and at times we are really busy, so I don't make the best friend! We are lucky enough to have old friends with kids that understand, and we see a few couples about 2x/year. I think what I am missing is the "daily" or "weekly" friend.

Springtime will give me more motivation to get out.

How bout everyone's husbands? What do they do for their "me" time? My husband doesn't really have a hobby. He wanted to join a Jujitsu class when he first returned from deployment, but I shot that down as it would require a 6AM class a few days/week and it was ridiculously expensive. We joined the YMCA (the entire family) for less than that cost.
Since my husband works at our center too, he.also values his me-time. Motorcycles. Big time. All motorcycles, all the time. Big boy toys.
And Big Girl toys! My other car is a Ninja. Zoom.
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MarinaVanessa 04:11 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Since my husband works at our center too, he.also values his me-time. Motorcycles. Big time. All motorcycles, all the time. Big boy toys.
And Big Girl toys! My other car is a Ninja. Zoom.
I do quads with the hubs and although we don't hunt (hubs has never had an interest in it) we do share a love of fire arms and the shooting range. We each have two handguns and an AR-15 . I'm glad I'm not the only one that shares their husband's love of "boy toys" .
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Sugar Magnolia 04:23 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
Ya only live once so why not??!

I love that you do sand sculpting. I've never heard of such a thing before


(Puzzles + wine = Even a 500 piecer can become quite an adventure under such circumstances )
Shameless bragging: I have won and placed in local contests.
I spent my childhood in New England, so I can appreciate the outdoor stuff you do and use of change of season. No such change of season here. 70 today. That's "winter".
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Sugar Magnolia 04:32 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I do quads with the hubs and although we don't hunt (hubs has never had an interest in it) we do share a love of fire arms and the shooting range. We each have two handguns and an AR-15 . I'm glad I'm not the only one that shares their husband's love of "boy toys" .
Sounds like you and Willow and I could have a good time. Hunting or just plain shooting, quads, motorcycles, sand, etc. Too bad we live on like totally opposite ends of the country.
Edited to add: I like to shoot the 'ol .22 Ruger, yes, despite my super lefty-ness on the gun control thread
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LK5kids 04:41 PM 02-04-2013
I have joined a gym

I am part of a scrap booking /card making group.

I go out to lunch with a good friend.

I used to belong to a book club.

Eventually when I fill with kids I am hiring my sister-in- law to work one afternoon so I can get out.

I socialize at church.

My husband and I go out every weekend.
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countrymom 06:16 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Sounds like you and Willow and I could have a good time. Hunting or just plain shooting, quads, motorcycles, sand, etc. Too bad we live on like totally opposite ends of the country.
Edited to add: I like to shoot the 'ol .22 Ruger, yes, despite my super lefty-ness on the gun control thread
so are you going to bike week in march. My dh can't wait to go, we will be the only canadians who are either really pale or really burnt. He's so excited to go (he's the motorcycle freak, born and raised in the field)
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Starburst 06:54 PM 02-04-2013
A provider I used to work for would go out dancing every thursday night (country night at a local dance club) and she would always take mini weekend vacations during 3 day holidays (like labor day weekend)- but she also had assistants who could fill in on that Friday so she could get ready and leave by nap time.

Things that can be done on weekends/after hours:
You can also look into seeing if your city/county has a local FCC association/ coalition where they have meetings and you can network with other local providers. Or take some classes at a local community college- look into getting a certificate/degree, learning a new skill, or just brushing up on some ECE basics (they tend to be more fun than other classes). Take up yoga, kickboxing, Zumba or training for a 5k. Maybe look into volunteering: Red Cross, animal shelter, hospital, local church fundraisers.... If you have kids of your own you can look into joining a PTA.
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HomeMADE 08:25 PM 02-04-2013
Popular thread! While I have not been doing this long, I started at the beginning of 2013, I am determined to keep a life.

I went to the gym after my last pick up today for a night aerobics class, 3 classes a week. I found that it is easier to meet people in the group fitness classes than in the individual work out rooms. I attend church and make a point to go to mid week women's bible study. When I take the kids out for walks or to play I go out with another SAHM that has twins. We talk while the kids burn off energy.

I have a master plan, I just hope it works. This job has crazy long hours, but I wouldn't trade being able to stay home with my little one for anything in the world. But I know that I have to take care of me or there is little left to care for anyone else.
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CedarCreek 04:44 AM 02-05-2013
I don't have much of one but honestly i'm okay with that. I'm a little obsessed with my husband and sons so usually i'm perfectly happy at home and too tired to do anything else!

But..every wed I go have dinner with 3 of my girlfriends that I used to work with. I missed them terribly when I left so we all still get together.

I hang out with my mother who lives down the road a lot. Haha, that sounds pathetic. We go get pedicures when we can. Maybe once a month.

I also feel like its really hard to keep up a friendship. I always feel like its my fault when we don't talk for a while.
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My3cents 05:09 AM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
I don't have much of one but honestly i'm okay with that. I'm a little obsessed with my husband and sons so usually i'm perfectly happy at home and too tired to do anything else!

But..every wed I go have dinner with 3 of my girlfriends that I used to work with. I missed them terribly when I left so we all still get together.

I hang out with my mother who lives down the road a lot. Haha, that sounds pathetic. We go get pedicures when we can. Maybe once a month.

I also feel like its really hard to keep up a friendship. I always feel like its my fault when we don't talk for a while.
Doesn't sound pathetic at all. I would do anything to have my mother alive and able to hang out with again. She was my best friend. Your lucky to have that, embrace it don't look down upon it, doesn't matter what other people think, enjoy your time with your mother-
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coolconfidentme 05:29 AM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by jokalima:
Just wondering how do you manage to have a social life? I am @ home all day every day no co-workers, weekends use to either visit family and clean plus one day of weekend do grocery for DC, house seems to never be the way I like it so even when DC is closed during weekends I find myself cleaning and putting things together. Don't have time to make friends or spend time with others, sometimes I try to convince myself I don't really need it but truth is I sometimes do feel the need of having other people in my life, grown ups I mean

I am not from here, I moved here about 7 years ago and started working, did not focused on making lots of friends, then I started the DC and now I see that I have no time to spend with other adults. How do you manage your social life
My daycare is open day/night Mon-Fri & not in my home. I do not take a call/text on the weekends unless it is a parent saying they will not be bringing a child. Otherwise I simple say, We can talk on Monday. I do not work on the weekends, Im sure you can understand. (I own rental properties & say the same thing to them.) I do take laundry home, but I have everything else is cleaned before I leave on Friday. Im in a running/fitness group & enjoy that on my down time. I totally need ME time!!!
Reply
Meeko 05:40 AM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
I hang out with my mother who lives down the road a lot. Haha, that sounds pathetic.
Not at all! My parents and my only brother live on the other side of the world. In the past 32 years, I have seen my parents about a dozen times and I have not seen my brother in 28 years. I would do ANYTHING to be able to see them on a regular basis.

You enjoy hanging out with your mom...you are very blessed.
Reply
laundrymom 07:33 AM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by rmc20021:
Gives me an idea...anybody on here from sw part of MI, between Kalamazoo and St. Joseph?

Would love to meet locals face to face...just remember I'm a little older than the average provider but I really don't act or feel my age (ok, maybe if I have to shovel snow or carry a heavy 3 year old across the ice from her bus)
Ok, meet you in Kalamazoo in October for http://www.lightthenight.org/mi/

I'm 3 hours south.
Reply
Blackcat31 07:45 AM 02-05-2013
I spend almost every minute I am not at work with my DH. He was my high school sweetheart and is my best friend.

We are new empty nesters (about 15 months now). We travel. ALOT.

We take looooong road trips anywhere we feel like going. Sometimes we have no idea where we will end up or which direction we are heading...we just get in the truck, turn on the XM Radio to the Canadian comedy channel (they are WAAAAAY funnier than U.S. comics ) and we drive and talk and drive and talk.

The journey IS the destination.

We also snowmobile (when there is snow) and have a group of friends that snowmobile as well

In the summer months we spend every waking moment that we are not at work on our houseboat. There is a little island in the middle of the lake here and LOTS of houseboaters park on that island and hang out. One side of the island is usually families and the other side is usually those without kids. It's is super fun and it's neat to see each generation continue the practice.

As far as personal hobbies go, I am a BIG reader and read more than one book at a time.

I also scrapbook, make jewelry, take nature and B&W photos, garden (both veggies and flowers) and I stay up really late watching lots of trashy TV in the evenings when DH is in bed. I am a night owl and sleep VERY little so my DVR is always recording something.
Reply
CedarCreek 07:53 AM 02-05-2013
Thanks guys My Mom living down the road has been pretty awesome. We have a great relationship and she adores dh. Sometimes she let's herself in during some awkward moments but i'm still blessed to have her so close. My sister lives four hours north and I know she would switch with me in a heart beat.
Reply
Texasjeepgirl 10:33 AM 02-05-2013
well I debated about jumping in on this thread.. but I guess I may as well..
I see things from all spectrums...
church... gym... puzzles... reading... sand sculpture... so.. I'll throw me in there also...

I'll say this to begin.. just remember that life changes.. evolves...as your children grow up..

When I started home daycare in 1992 my oldest daughter was 2 years old..my husband and I were extreme HOME BODIES.. cooked dinner at home..church on Sunday morning... dinner and television every night of the week... NO HOBBIES... we raised our little girl.. and that was IT...

At some point we started bowling on a league.. and although we struggled to keep a reliable babysitter for our girls.. and then the cost of sitter... bowling fees... eating out..it was several hundred per month..but.. we NEEDED something to do... so we made it work...for a few years... but.. after 15 years.. we divorced...
Our girls were 6 and 10 . .. After divorce life was so different..
I began dating my NOW husband.. a year later we married.... (11th wedding anniversary will be May 25) He has 3 daughters.. oldest is a stepdaughter ..but he is the only daddy she's ever known.. and then his two daughters... at the time they were 4, 5 and 10.. now they are 15, 16 and 22.... my girls were 7 and 11 at wedding... now 18 and 22...

Life began to revolve around visitation weekends... visitation week nights.. and.. KID FREE nights and weekends..
His girls lived with their mom... my girls with their dad....about two blocks from me..
. we were BOTH child support paying/visiting parents....that is a huge adjustment...some of it WONDERFUL.. and some if it heartbreaking... (First Christmas Eve was the other parents turn to have both sets of kids... that's a rough night)
In the beginnging we ate out allot... later we bought a jeep.. joined a jeep club.. husband later became PRESIDENT of club... I became Membership Secretary for a REGIONAL 4 wheel drive association... .. we made trips to East Texas... Kansas.. Colorado... with our jeep... tent camped most of the time... with and without our kids...

AND THEN... we started playing POOL..

Our girls were getting older... and.. most of the time we played on weeknights so our girls weren't with us...
My husband had played all his life... and although I grew up with a pool table in my grandfather's basement.. and.. and pool table at my aunt's house.. I never played much.. the boys always played..
8 years ago.. my husband and I are out with friends for dinner.. the place has a pool table...
the other couple insist that we play couple against couple..
I fell in LOVE..
We came home and I told Hubby... we need a pool table..
lol.. he thought so too.
He bought us a used 'bar box' off of Ebay...
We started playing local pool tournaments.. leagues...
2,3, 4 nights per week..
sometimes it was really hard for me..
On a weeknight a tournament can run really late... and if we were playing well.. then I was OUT LATE...then up early to run daycare.. then OUT LATE again the next night... There were weeks that we were out 3-4 weeknights.. but.. WE LOVED IT...!!!
Then 2 years ago my husband took a second shift job...
Our pool playing came to a SCREECHING HALT...
We were on a league.. we quit... All the team members begged me to continue even though Mark would be at work..but I said no..
NO WAY am I hanging out in a bar/tavern/pool hall .. without my husband...
We were ALWAYS together.. ALWAYS...
I went through about 9 months of almost constant sadness and depression..
By then my oldest daughter was out of the home.. married.. and had just given birth to my now 2 year old granddaughter...
My other daughter had moved to live with us.. but she was 16.. in high school.. driving.. and working...
I was home alone...EVERY NIGHT..
you want to talk about a life style adjustment!!!!!
No pool..
No socialization except for daycare clients..
plus my husband was working tons of overtime...and allot of weekends..
It was an UGLY UGLY TIME in my life.. I cried all the time..
sadness and uselessness...
Then I slowly started shaking out of it..
Time goes on.. people adapt..
I started meeting friends for dinner several nights per week..
My husband and I have a joke about it now.. he asks who is your 'date' tonight.? I start texting him as soon as the last daycare child leaves.. if not before... I keep him constantly informed of where I am.. who I'm having dinner with.. I take pictures of my friends at the table.. of our food... and tell him what is going on... what our conversations are about.. etc... he messages me as he is able.. on breaks..
Wednesdays it's David and Robin.. a married couple we've been friends with for years... we meet at the same place .. eat dinner... hang out awhile.. home by 8:30 or 9 p.m.
Thursday nights I have a group of about 6 women.. we meet at the same place each week.. We call it our MENSA meeting...
we sit at same table..have the same waitress... One of my girlfriends comes here to my home to pick me up... we ride together.. she drops me off on her way home...
Friday's is 'open'.. but I seem to always have someone text me to see what I'm doing..
It's either girlfriends... single or married.. with or with out spouse..most of the time we end up with a fairly large group...
We go to local places.. sit and visit.. catch up on each other's lives...
Saturday is my night with my husband.. we eat out.. we have or go to parties ... cards.. pool... etc...
Sunday afternoon... 4 p.m.. pool tournament at the VFW...
We started going about 1 year ago... and..
It is usually the same people each week... about 8-12 of us.. people we've known and played with for years... we have a blast... Most weeks I win LAST LADY in tournament... My husband frequently wins 1st or 2nd place... which.. doesn't pay much.. $15 for me .. last lady... but.. it only costs us $5 each to play.. so .. I usually make our money back plus $5

My youngest daughter still lives with me..
she is 18 now.. graduated last year.. works.. and sleeps.. I seldom see her.. but she stays in touch by text and is home everynight safe in her bed..

We also travel several times per year..
Last year we went to Mexico in late May and again in mid June..
In December we took a 4 day cruise to Mexico..(5th cruise since we married)...
We just booked a trip to Playa del Carmen for end of May with another couple...

It's a good life...

www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com

Reply
MarinaVanessa 12:07 PM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by My3cents:
can you share pictures of your doll houses- neat hobby
I've been trying since yesterday to upload pictures but for some reason the pictures don't load properly. I tried taking them with my camera and then with my phone and tried uploading them to my computer but only part of the picture shows up . I can only assume it's something to do with my computer not downloading them properly. I even tried emailing the pics to myself with my phone ... wahhh. I'll try a few more things but for now here are examples I found on the internet.

This is sort of like what the smaller one that I'm working on looks like:




I couldn't find an exact example of it online but it's close. The only difference is that mine has the roof tapering off into the other direction so the upside down V faces the same direction as the front and back of my dollhouse instead of the sides. It also has a balcony and a doorway above the porch area. The inside is also different in the sense that both the 1st and 2nd floors have hallway areas in the center of the floors where my stairs go and doorways/walls to separate the rooms on each floor. My attic is also one full space and doesn't have dividers.

Oh and mine isn't anywhere finished. I only have the shell made and I primed it and then painted it with white paint. My daughter and I were working on it but we haven't since before the holidays. We both started this one because I bought a larger queen anne style kit and realized that I bit more than I could chew . I decided to practice more on a smaller one first before I took on the larger one again.

Here's what my queen anne one looks like:


Okay so it doesn't look like that yet . Mine is still the shell and has the same steps completed as my smaller one. When I got to the next step which was wiring the dollhouse for electricity that's when I realized that I needed to practice on a smaller one first as I have never wired a dollhouse before.

After I get my taxes all in order I plan on working on the smaller one again. Maybe I can post my progress (if I can figure out what I'm doing wrong with my photos ).
Reply
Country Kids 01:22 PM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I spend almost every minute I am not at work with my DH. He was my high school sweetheart and is my best friend.

We are new empty nesters (about 15 months now). We travel. ALOT.

We take looooong road trips anywhere we feel like going. Sometimes we have no idea where we will end up or which direction we are heading...we just get in the truck, turn on the XM Radio to the Canadian comedy channel (they are WAAAAAY funnier than U.S. comics ) and we drive and talk and drive and talk.

The journey IS the destination.

We also snowmobile (when there is snow) and have a group of friends that snowmobile as well

In the summer months we spend every waking moment that we are not at work on our houseboat. There is a little island in the middle of the lake here and LOTS of houseboaters park on that island and hang out. One side of the island is usually families and the other side is usually those without kids. It's is super fun and it's neat to see each generation continue the practice.

As far as personal hobbies go, I am a BIG reader and read more than one book at a time.

I also scrapbook, make jewelry, take nature and B&W photos, garden (both veggies and flowers) and I stay up really late watching lots of trashy TV in the evenings when DH is in bed. I am a night owl and sleep VERY little so my DVR is always recording something.
My life when we are empty nesters but we have aways to go still.

Would you mind if I just moved in for awhile and did a practice run?
Reply
Country Kids 01:25 PM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by Texasjeepgirl:
well I debated about jumping in on this thread.. but I guess I may as well..
I see things from all spectrums...
church... gym... puzzles... reading... sand sculpture... so.. I'll throw me in there also...

I'll say this to begin.. just remember that life changes.. evolves...as your children grow up..

When I started home daycare in 1992 my oldest daughter was 2 years old..my husband and I were extreme HOME BODIES.. cooked dinner at home..church on Sunday morning... dinner and television every night of the week... NO HOBBIES... we raised our little girl.. and that was IT...

At some point we started bowling on a league.. and although we struggled to keep a reliable babysitter for our girls.. and then the cost of sitter... bowling fees... eating out..it was several hundred per month..but.. we NEEDED something to do... so we made it work...for a few years... but.. after 15 years.. we divorced...
Our girls were 6 and 10 . .. After divorce life was so different..
I began dating my NOW husband.. a year later we married.... (11th wedding anniversary will be May 25) He has 3 daughters.. oldest is a stepdaughter ..but he is the only daddy she's ever known.. and then his two daughters... at the time they were 4, 5 and 10.. now they are 15, 16 and 22.... my girls were 7 and 11 at wedding... now 18 and 22...

Life began to revolve around visitation weekends... visitation week nights.. and.. KID FREE nights and weekends..
His girls lived with their mom... my girls with their dad....about two blocks from me..
. we were BOTH child support paying/visiting parents....that is a huge adjustment...some of it WONDERFUL.. and some if it heartbreaking... (First Christmas Eve was the other parents turn to have both sets of kids... that's a rough night)
In the beginnging we ate out allot... later we bought a jeep.. joined a jeep club.. husband later became PRESIDENT of club... I became Membership Secretary for a REGIONAL 4 wheel drive association... .. we made trips to East Texas... Kansas.. Colorado... with our jeep... tent camped most of the time... with and without our kids...

AND THEN... we started playing POOL..

Our girls were getting older... and.. most of the time we played on weeknights so our girls weren't with us...
My husband had played all his life... and although I grew up with a pool table in my grandfather's basement.. and.. and pool table at my aunt's house.. I never played much.. the boys always played..
8 years ago.. my husband and I are out with friends for dinner.. the place has a pool table...
the other couple insist that we play couple against couple..
I fell in LOVE..
We came home and I told Hubby... we need a pool table..
lol.. he thought so too.
He bought us a used 'bar box' off of Ebay...
We started playing local pool tournaments.. leagues...
2,3, 4 nights per week..
sometimes it was really hard for me..
On a weeknight a tournament can run really late... and if we were playing well.. then I was OUT LATE...then up early to run daycare.. then OUT LATE again the next night... There were weeks that we were out 3-4 weeknights.. but.. WE LOVED IT...!!!
Then 2 years ago my husband took a second shift job...
Our pool playing came to a SCREECHING HALT...
We were on a league.. we quit... All the team members begged me to continue even though Mark would be at work..but I said no..
NO WAY am I hanging out in a bar/tavern/pool hall .. without my husband...
We were ALWAYS together.. ALWAYS...
I went through about 9 months of almost constant sadness and depression..
By then my oldest daughter was out of the home.. married.. and had just given birth to my now 2 year old granddaughter...
My other daughter had moved to live with us.. but she was 16.. in high school.. driving.. and working...
I was home alone...EVERY NIGHT..
you want to talk about a life style adjustment!!!!!
No pool..
No socialization except for daycare clients..
plus my husband was working tons of overtime...and allot of weekends..
It was an UGLY UGLY TIME in my life.. I cried all the time..
sadness and uselessness...
Then I slowly started shaking out of it..
Time goes on.. people adapt..
I started meeting friends for dinner several nights per week..
My husband and I have a joke about it now.. he asks who is your 'date' tonight.? I start texting him as soon as the last daycare child leaves.. if not before... I keep him constantly informed of where I am.. who I'm having dinner with.. I take pictures of my friends at the table.. of our food... and tell him what is going on... what our conversations are about.. etc... he messages me as he is able.. on breaks..
Wednesdays it's David and Robin.. a married couple we've been friends with for years... we meet at the same place .. eat dinner... hang out awhile.. home by 8:30 or 9 p.m.
Thursday nights I have a group of about 6 women.. we meet at the same place each week.. We call it our MENSA meeting...
we sit at same table..have the same waitress... One of my girlfriends comes here to my home to pick me up... we ride together.. she drops me off on her way home...
Friday's is 'open'.. but I seem to always have someone text me to see what I'm doing..
It's either girlfriends... single or married.. with or with out spouse..most of the time we end up with a fairly large group...
We go to local places.. sit and visit.. catch up on each other's lives...
Saturday is my night with my husband.. we eat out.. we have or go to parties ... cards.. pool... etc...
Sunday afternoon... 4 p.m.. pool tournament at the VFW...
We started going about 1 year ago... and..
It is usually the same people each week... about 8-12 of us.. people we've known and played with for years... we have a blast... Most weeks I win LAST LADY in tournament... My husband frequently wins 1st or 2nd place... which.. doesn't pay much.. $15 for me .. last lady... but.. it only costs us $5 each to play.. so .. I usually make our money back plus $5

My youngest daughter still lives with me..
she is 18 now.. graduated last year.. works.. and sleeps.. I seldom see her.. but she stays in touch by text and is home everynight safe in her bed..

We also travel several times per year..
Last year we went to Mexico in late May and again in mid June..
In December we took a 4 day cruise to Mexico..(5th cruise since we married)...
We just booked a trip to Playa del Carmen for end of May with another couple...

It's a good life...

www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com
Besides Blackcat, I would like to move in with you also for awhile and do a practice run so I'm prepared for this empty nest stage.

It sounds fun even though my hubby says I'm going to hate it, he doesn't know how I loooonnnngggg someone not needing me 26 hours a day-
Reply
Blackcat31 01:25 PM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
My life when we are empty nesters but we have aways to go still.

Would you mind if I just moved in for awhile and did a practice run?
If I could claim you as a tax deduction, I would send you a plane ticket tomorrow!
Reply
Country Kids 01:46 PM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If I could claim you as a tax deduction, I would send you a plane ticket tomorrow!
I'll clean for you!!!!

Are personal assistants a write off?

HHMM, sounding better by the minute-
Reply
Texasjeepgirl 04:20 PM 02-05-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If I could claim you as a tax deduction, I would send you a plane ticket tomorrow!
ditto!!! We would have a blast.. lol...

If you are still married to the father of your children.. I UNDERSTAND... for those of us who are second marriage.. it changes your life in more ways than you can ever imagine..
It's the HARDEST THING I've ever been through.. and yet... My ex and a I have been friends for years.. He had about 1 year of.. how can I say... STAND OFFISHNESS...

(we are NOT friends with my hubby's ex... but... you can't win them all right?)

I'm not 100% empty nest..
YET... My 18 year old still lives here...
I have to remind her to get her laundry out of the dryer... and... clean out litter box ... and pick up the towel in the bathroom from your shower..

Last year my husband's youngest daughter lived with us for 6 months.. while my husband was at work second shift.. she was never any trouble.. but... she decided to move back to her mom's house because we live in a small town.. not enough social life to keep her happy...

I'm 46... 2 year old granddaughter is in my daycare EVERY DAY.. but.. they rarely ask me to keep her after hours... so far...

Reply
AmyLeigh 04:46 PM 02-05-2013
Like others have posted, I am very active in church. So that keeps me busy at least three days a week. Not only do I have many friends in my congregation, but also in others in surrounding communities. Dh is a minister who travels to give Bible talks, and frequently our family is invited to a meal afterwards. Our world has expanded exponentially because of that.
My hobbies tend to be solitary ones (reading, crochet, running) and I am an Aspie introvert, so traditional classes don't interest me at all. But just spending time with dh, friends, and family keeps me from getting too isolated.
(Btw, my parents live just down the street and my mom and I are very close and see each other practically every day.)
Reply
cheerfuldom 07:13 PM 02-05-2013
I think I am probably in more of a unique situation with the providers on this board. I have a lot of little ones of my own (4 kids under 6) and one is nursing still and refuses the bottle so I am with the kiddos pretty much 24/7. I am not able to get out for much kid free time and our newborn goes on our dates with us! I know some people would frown on that but he's too small for a babysitter (not even 3 months) especially when he wont take a bottle. Anywho....here are some things that work for me

*church and church activities (most of childcare provided or there are other kids that my kids can run around with while i chat)
*online like here, facebook, some other forums, plus catching up on shows i like
*walks. we do many of the trails and local parks. my kids will walk for a LONG time and we babywear the small ones. exercise, fresh air, and wearing out the kids....score!
*local craft fairs and festivals. many are held outdoors and very kid friendly
*browsing at antique stores
*reading, lots of reading
*i sew a huge variety of things but mainly kids clothing. i sell some of it too
*yard saling! super easy to give the kids a dollar or two and keeps them busy for at least a half dozen sales
*i host a lot of things at the house. its hard to take my four anywhere but we do potluck style with friends that have kids the same age. its great when we can eat outside.....i dont have to clean or prep anything and the kids just run around the backyard while we visit. we also can hire a babysitter to watch all the kids downstairs (cheap when we split the bill!) and we stay upstairs and talk, play games, sometimes the guys video game, or we watch a movie
*my husband enjoys home projects, wood working, cars and guns
Reply
bunnyslippers 06:26 AM 02-06-2013
I am a very social person, under normal circumstances. Since having my children, though, I really enjoy my family time. I have such a hard time getting motivated to leave my house. I have plans tonight to go out with a friend, and I am already looking for an excuse to not go. I just hate leaving at night, because I feel like I still have so many mom jobs to do when I get home.

We have lots of friends around, and socialize with many families from my son's kindergarten and basketball teams. I am just feeling very wrapped in mommy-dom right now. Sigh.
Reply
boysx5 09:16 AM 02-06-2013
I have a neighbor who also does childcare we chat everyday get our kids together when the weather is nice. I also have a group of friends I met in a playgroup awhile back and once a month or more we go out or go to one of our houses for a game nite.
Reply
Sugar Magnolia 09:47 AM 02-06-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
so are you going to bike week in march. My dh can't wait to go, we will be the only canadians who are either really pale or really burnt. He's so excited to go (he's the motorcycle freak, born and raised in the field)
I would like to go someday.....but was wondering if its a Harley
.type of event? We ride Kawasaki Ninjas. There is a Hooters in town that hosts a bike night, but I won't go because I have heard rice burners are not welcomed.
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