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sahdaycaremom 11:48 AM 09-08-2010
Hi, was wondering if I could get some advice from you all..I started a new family about 4 weeks ago. Two girls ages 2 & 3. I have these girls on tues and thurs..8:00-3:30..Mom has a 2nd job that isn't a set schedule..so I have them on MWF on the days she works at her 2nd job..I am having a few issues with this family. 1.) Mom never tells me her schedule for the MWF. I have to call and get it out of her..she tells me she will call and let me know but never does..one day last week I only had 2 dck's and my 2 kids, I was getting shoes on to take kids on a walk and door bells rings. Its dcm here to drop off her kids...we couldn't take a walk then because by myself walking its too many kids. I nicely said" I assumed they weren't comming today", and she said, oh I forgot to call you"..ggrrr so frustrating. 2.) Dcm thinks that whenever she needs to do something and doesn't want to take her kids that she can call me out of the blue and ask to drop off her kids for a little while..3.) These girls have never been in a daycare before and are lacking discipline. I have been working with them for a month and still the same as day 1. They hit, scream, don't listen to anything I tell them, mostly the 3 year old. The other dck's get really upset when they come here. So I am considering terminating this family. I have a drop in child who father called wanting me to take him full time. (he's an angel). Anyone with any advice would be much apprecitated. Please tell me I'm not being mean!
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Lucy 12:07 PM 09-08-2010
You're NOT being mean! I would probably go ahead and take the full-time boy. At least he'd be steadier income and much easier to work with.

But if you do keep the girls, I would just say to the mom one day, "I'm really going to need you to give me their schedule in advance. I have to be able to plan food and activities." If she doesn't respect that after about a month, give her a two-week notice and just say it isn't working out for you.

I understand the guilt and reluctance to stand your ground. I'm kind of the same way. But lately I've been trying to be firmer. Nice, but firm on policies. It actually feels pretty good!
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DCMomOf3 12:14 PM 09-08-2010
Originally Posted by Joyce:
You're NOT being mean! I would probably go ahead and take the full-time boy. At least he'd be steadier income and much easier to work with.

But if you do keep the girls, I would just say to the mom one day, "I'm really going to need you to give me their schedule in advance. I have to be able to plan food and activities." If she doesn't respect that after about a month, give her a two-week notice and just say it isn't working out for you.

I understand the guilt and reluctance to stand your ground. I'm kind of the same way. But lately I've been trying to be firmer. Nice, but firm on policies. It actually feels pretty good!
I agree. and state that you need her schedule in writing.
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Carole's Daycare 02:22 PM 09-08-2010
I would make clear you need the schedule in advance in writing. Then, the next time she shows up unscheduled turn her away. Make up a reason- like - "you weren't scheduled today- so everyone else will be picked up so I can go for my annual pap smear. " Or- I only have enough corndogs for the kids that were scheduled- so there is no lunch for her- you need to come back after lunch. Or leave on that walk- without her, and say I'll be back in 15 mn and shut/lock door. Or you can be nice and take on the full-time little boy and give her polite notice- informing her that her habitual abuse of the schedule violates your policies and she is terminated as of such date.
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missnikki 03:33 PM 09-08-2010
Or you can just be gone when you think she'll come but hasn't warned you. Do not answer her calls. Let her sweat it out. That's the good old passive agressive method.
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marniewon 05:06 PM 09-08-2010
Originally Posted by missnikki:
Or you can just be gone when you think she'll come but hasn't warned you. Do not answer her calls. Let her sweat it out. That's the good old passive agressive method.
I've done that before. At one time I only had one family and they were either very early, very late or no-call/no-shows. One day they were over an hour late and we got a call that was somewhat an emergency and my husband and I had to go pick his kids up from school. This family had a habit of just not showing up, so I left. Apparently dad came to drop kids off about 15 minutes after we left. My son (age 11 at the time) told them they were so late we figured they weren't coming so we left. Dad actually swore at my son as he was leaving. As soon as I heard that I emailed mom and termed them, effective immediately. Her response? I should have waited for them to get there, no matter how late they were, and it was MY responsibility to call if they were late to see if they were coming!!!
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missnikki 05:13 PM 09-08-2010
Originally Posted by marniewon:
I've done that before. At one time I only had one family and they were either very early, very late or no-call/no-shows. One day they were over an hour late and we got a call that was somewhat an emergency and my husband and I had to go pick his kids up from school. This family had a habit of just not showing up, so I left. Apparently dad came to drop kids off about 15 minutes after we left. My son (age 11 at the time) told them they were so late we figured they weren't coming so we left. Dad actually swore at my son as he was leaving. As soon as I heard that I emailed mom and termed them, effective immediately. Her response? I should have waited for them to get there, no matter how late they were, and it was MY responsibility to call if they were late to see if they were coming!!!
UGH. Not your fault. They will figure out that their poop stinks soon enough.
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momofboys 07:46 PM 09-08-2010
Originally Posted by sahdaycaremom:
Hi, was wondering if I could get some advice from you all..I started a new family about 4 weeks ago. Two girls ages 2 & 3. I have these girls on tues and thurs..8:00-3:30..Mom has a 2nd job that isn't a set schedule..so I have them on MWF on the days she works at her 2nd job..I am having a few issues with this family. 1.) Mom never tells me her schedule for the MWF. I have to call and get it out of her..she tells me she will call and let me know but never does..one day last week I only had 2 dck's and my 2 kids, I was getting shoes on to take kids on a walk and door bells rings. Its dcm here to drop off her kids...we couldn't take a walk then because by myself walking its too many kids. I nicely said" I assumed they weren't comming today", and she said, oh I forgot to call you"..ggrrr so frustrating. 2.) Dcm thinks that whenever she needs to do something and doesn't want to take her kids that she can call me out of the blue and ask to drop off her kids for a little while..3.) These girls have never been in a daycare before and are lacking discipline. I have been working with them for a month and still the same as day 1. They hit, scream, don't listen to anything I tell them, mostly the 3 year old. The other dck's get really upset when they come here. So I am considering terminating this family. I have a drop in child who father called wanting me to take him full time. (he's an angel). Anyone with any advice would be much apprecitated. Please tell me I'm not being mean!
Very frustrating!!! I would take on the full-time boy but do give notice to the mom.
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Unregistered 06:35 AM 09-09-2010
thanks for all your advice, I think I am going to terminate them. I am not good with these things, Any advice on how to go about terminating them. I have never terminated anyone before, Thanks
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missnikki 12:33 PM 09-09-2010
Depending on if you have something already in your contract or not- if so, follow it. If not, give as much notice as you are comfortable with (2 weeks is customary) and tell them ASAP in person, DO NOT APOLOGIZE- just make it short and sweet, explain that you are going to open the spot to a family who needs regular care or a full- time family and drop in will no longer be an option, whatever you want to say to explain that their schedule does not jive with yours. Decide how payment will be handled- did they leave a deposit, do they pay ahead of time anyway, etc and make sure they pay the regular amount until the last day. Give your termination notice in writing also, make yourself a copy. Above all, stay strong and professional- don't wilt at the sob stories or complaints. They haven't treated you with respect or courtesy before, so move on. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
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Michael 01:34 PM 09-09-2010
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
thanks for all your advice, I think I am going to terminate them. I am not good with these things, Any advice on how to go about terminating them. I have never terminated anyone before, Thanks
Some threads on termination: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ination+letter
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Tags:bad parent, terminate, termination letter
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