I wake up in the morning dreading the doorbell, then spend the morning feeling both happy and completely frustrated. By lunch I am SO DONE with daycare and I start looking at the job bank online during naps. Afternoons are okay until about 4pm when I think - Why do I do this!?? By 5h30 once everyone is gone I think - Well I guess that wasn't that bad. By evening I think about how lucky I am to not have to commute to work like my DH and then by bedtime I am ready for a new day and we start those same emotions all over again.

On fridays when I get paid I think about how blessed I am to make so much money doing something from home but by tuesday I am praying for a way outta here!

Am I nuts or does anyone else go through this? If so, is it really worth it in the end?

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I'm the same way and the feelings intensify when it's that time of the month..lol

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I hear ya on that! There are days when I feel completely nuts LOL Even DH tells me I am all over the map about this job. He tells me to just appreciate the $ and the fact that I even have a job and focus on that all day. I try but OMG sometimes these kiddos just make me crazy!!

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Yes yes & yes! Although I'm just breaking even, if that, so that adds to my craziness.

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I quit at LEAST once a day. Earlier this week i didn't quit until almost 6 PM!!! Today I quit before 9 AM....

I have a like-hate relationship with this job, and am absolutely stuck doing it. Back in the fall I actually interviewed for and GOT a job out of the house...but they couldn't pay me enough to replace my daycare income so I had to turn it down. Some days i wonder if that was really the right choice...though it was a relief to know that I was capable of getting a job at a high-end, very nice daycare center. Gives me hope if daycare ever completely fails me.

But then I sometimes spend my entire evening rearranging the playroom or perparing some fun activty...and the time with my own babies is so precious that I can't really imagine doing anything else.

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Could have written this myself! Also, the uncertainty of not having steady income (people come and go all the time) and no lunch break whatsoever are rough.

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I laughed out loud about the job searching. I've searched for jobs on my phone while waiting-out a tantrum, before. Winter is always an emotional roller coaster--especially THIS winter. I usually pop some Vitamin D and search for cheap vacation packages at nap time

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it is especially hard during this time!!! I am an emotional roller coaster and I think all the kids feed off of it and behave even worse. I have looked for jobs more times than I can count but have never applied. I still have 2 at home so it just doesn't work out financially for me to be outside of the home

I don't like change either so when I added a new set of twins (4 at the time) I thought it would be easy to adjust and the extra $ would be nice...WRONG! Once they're out if here I'm not adding to the group. Kids testing me all day long is enough to make me want to pull my hair out! 6 months of being tested every single day by this same set of twins has made this decision quite easy it isn't worth the extra $ lol

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I feel this way off and on but especially when I start my tax paperwork .
For all that I have to put up with it never seems worth it .

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i am so with you! I feel a lot of conflict about doing daycare versus working outside the home (which I by far would much rather do). I am making a huge sacrifice to be here for my kids but sometimes I wonder....does it even matter? will they even care? will it make a difference for them in their lives? Most of the time I am sure I am doing the right thing in the big picture but the daily tasks put doubt in my mind. Yesterday a daycare child chewed up a plastic plate and I think, I don't get paid enough to deal with crap like this LOL

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You aren't alone! I always fantasize about doing something different, but I will do daycare until my last baby is in Kindergarten. For me, it is more the parents than the kids, and I feel that in general, I have pretty good families. Nothing makes me more frustrated than dealing with people who just don't bother to think, and I have a lot of that going on. I also have frustrations dealing with kids who are not compatible with the way that I raise my kids. I hate it when people baby their kids and do everything for them, teach them to whine instead of using their words, and make excuses. People who don't get their kids enough rest, and people who don't even realize when their kids are sick.

Mom to 20 month old at pickup, "No, you cant have your paci. " (Whines). "You can have your paci if you say bye-bye." (Child...whines.) "Ok, fine, here you go."

Today, a 5 year old showed up in 10 degree weather with no coat.

The 3 year old dcg is whining for the ipad.

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This post cracked me up!! I also have a love-hate relationship. But I have come to terms with it as being the best of pay and balancing family life. Since we homeschool there are not many options that will work. Also, I do not want to work for someone else again!!

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Ditto.

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I can relate to all of the above

I got rid of a few problem families/children and things are a lot better but I still have my moments of questioning why I am doing this.

My poor husband's eyes glaze over whenever I bring up anything daycare related

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YES YES AND YES! I have my own kids so I feel like it never stops! But, when they don't have school, or I get paid, or I get stuff done I think "man Im so glad I am home" but I have realized that I dread the kids coming over because they aren't "my kids". Don't get me wrong, I like all the kids I watch. But every parent thinks I do this for fun it seems so its alot more stressful then I thought it would be. So then I start look for jobs and I get interviews and then I remind my self how nice is to be home lol. Its a strange circle lol

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The one thing I really miss is having co-workers. I still keep in contact with a lot of them so when I feel that way I will text them.

Everyday after the last kid leaves I sit in my chair for 10 minutes in total silence and I call it my "commute" time!

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LOL Same here! His face is trying so hard to look caring but his eyes are saying - Oh my God please not this again!!!

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Mine too. He will listen, but then says "just get rid of em" (mainly talking about a particular child)...lol

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Same here! Before having my 1.5 yo, I worked in centers for 15 years so when I opened, I thought "this will be a piece of cake"...not so! It's totally different when you are alone! Don't get me wrong, I love being home with my child and being here when dd gets off the bus or doesn't have school, but I too go in a circle over it.

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lol yes! but I think this type of thinking would be for any job. Its like we wish our time away. I don't really but yet I do. I just look forward to my family time and off time and at the same time when I am off I think about my daycare kiddo's. I can remember when I worked a different job counting down the time till I was done too- I don't wish for another work because this is the job I wanted to do and made happen. I often wonder how I will hold up when I am older.

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I was thinking about this too, the other day. I worked for 14 years in a center setting and I frequently (especially in the later years) said that I couldn't wait until I go out of there so I didn't have to listen to anyone (corporate) and I could open my own fcc. Then I have my own fcc and sometimes wish I could go back to a center. I think not having co-workers is the biggest change for me, that's why I come here. (I really really should be doing laundry right now)

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Honestly I DID when I was watching another DCB but since he left for JrPreschool I like my job much better. He was ALWAYS sick and while mom was never really late (without asking first and 15min max) always paid on time, everything else was a PITA with her. I had another DCB last school year who was after school only and I had to get him. Well most days were torture with him and there were tears shed on many occasions. Aside from being a little slow (ideally I would like one more FT spot filled) I'm pretty happy with things right now. I'm able to make more than I did after paying daycare and gas, food, etc. working outside the home. No worry about calling in because my kids are sick. There's so many positives it out weighs the negatives now.

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You all are making me laugh this afternoon, something I've needed a lot lately.

I've quit in my mind countless times over the past 30+ years. When my kids were little and difficult to manage, I'd threaten to quit and send them to daycare. They always called my bluff by begging me to do that.
Feeling like my privacy was constantly invaded, my home, time, my kids' lives, everything...I would fantasize about just up and quitting, couldn't wait to take down all the safety gates, unplug all the outlets, give away the potty chairs and high chairs, use our home for US. I remember begging my dh, in tears, to please let me quit and just raise our own children. He got all sarcastic and said sure, I'll just go get a couple more jobs and never spend time at home.
But truthfully, over the past 5 years or so(out of 30? Haha), I guess I've found my rhythm because for the most part I like what I do. We were all up to our elbows in bubbly water play this morning and I was truly having fun. Now it's nap time and they all fell asleep. That's never a bad thing.

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I think in the winter this is so true for a lot of providers. I always say "do not make big decisions in Jan/Feb." I have been a provider for 26 years.Before that I took care of extra kids for friends. My oldest daughter just turned 40 ,so I have been a mom more than 1/2 my life. It is all relevant life is hard , just differant shades of hard. I went to a center for a year in 1998 (long story became caregiver for father-inlaw and sister-in law alzthiemers) Closed DC AND After he passed away worked in DC center infant room. Only one rocker and I wasn't allowed to sit in it . I did not like not being the boss.All the little things ---being home for your own children ,starting dinner or throwing in a laundry.to mention a few. I worked a year and then SIL was ill so took time to care for her ,she passed 6 months later. I reopened DC that spring and have done it ever since.There are certain children that you dread ,but usually with time things work out.Unless your kids are grown and you can make a decent salary outside the home this can be the best. I think we need to think spring . Nan

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I do this all the time. I have to remind myself I cant afford to not do it. I tried over summer and was working two jobs and lookibg at having to get a third.
it is much worse when I have a certain child. I haven't had him 2 days and my hating my job has stopped. I think because of how much I have liked him being gone I am going to term I need the money but my days are easier with him gone. I was trying to stick it out until the end of the summer because I feel like I am quitting but I don't think I will make it that long

I am making a lot of changes at the end of the school year. I am not taking any more school aged kids. If they weren't in school this year and are going in next year they will have to find other care. I am also loosing one of my school aged so that will take me down to two school aged kids next year. I am adjusting my closing to 5. And am cutting two spots. I am praying this takes my love hate relationship with this job away.

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Yes, this exactly. Every day!

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I got back into fcc for only 8 months and couldn't handle the isolation! I've been done since Nov. 2013. I still get texts or facebook messages that my families miss me....so sweet. We got VERY close in a short amount of time.

At least I feel LOVED! I give you all LOTS of kuddos and credit for the wonderful jobs you are doing!!!

I have been job hunting since Nov. It was too hard to go for interviews while still operating my family child care business.

I secured a job with the YMCA in their preschool programming department in early Dec. The job didn't start till Jan. 20, but I was filling in at Y-watch. It ended up only being about 5 hours a week, so I withdrew that application

I now have been hired at a new state-of-the-art private child care center and I will start mid or late Feb.

I also have a very good friend who worked for Head Start for years, so I have a lead there. I also just had an interview with Lutheran Social Services to do what I did in my former life but have not heard back for a second interview!

It's tough out here!!!!

I admire what you are all doing and I hope things work out for you all!

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I have gone through periods like this.

Right now I feel really good about my job and I like it. If I have to have a career, this is the one I definitely choose. I wake up at 6:30 and have kiddos come in at 7:00. The rest come at 8:00 and leave by 5:00 with some staying until 6:00. 11 hour days and it is okay. I would love to have just 9 hour days (8-5) but that isn't what a lot of people need right now so there ya go.

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Whenever I start feeling that way^ I know it is time to let someone go

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My week, to a "T"!! For now, it is the best option, even if I wish it weren't. It is a good thing I don't work with the parents all day - I'd be finished by 7:30!

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Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?

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I'll go ahead and answer while everyone is playing nicely! I have 3 teenagers - 1 graduated last year and is working, 2 are in high school. I homeschool, and even though I don't oversee their work everyday any longer, I do feel as though I need to be home for them. My dd graduates this year and will probably be leaving to spend a year on the mission field, so I am not sure what that means for the future of my dc. She has been a huge help to me, and I am not sure I want to do this 'alone' all day, every day.

My dd and I were joking yesterday that we can really tell it is winter. I have one mom who is consistent with her pick up time every day. In the spring and summer, the other parents tend to get here before her. As fall and winter roll around, the other parents start arriving after this mom has picked up. It is weird, but it has happened both years I have been open.

I think most of my frustration comes from parenting styles that are different from my own. I WANT to be with my children...I always have. I enjoyed them when they were little, and loved being home with them. I am disappointed with parents who look for every opportunity to 'ditch' their kids. It makes me sad, and I don't think they realize how quickly these years fly by. And the kids don't really care that mom and dad are gone. None of my dcks care when mom leaves, and don't care that she isn't here during the day. I'm not saying they are wrong - please don't hear that from me. I am just sad for them. And frustrated a little by parents who treat me as an employee, although that isn't a huge problem for me...at least not more that once!

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I have a 1.5 yo ds and a 10 yo dd.

I definitely think that having my own kids sometimes contributes to burn out. I'm not saying that I don't love my kids or don't like being around them, and I do love being able to be home with ds and after school or days off for my dd, but after taking care of other young kids all day then after they leave making dinner and taking care of my ds, it can get a little overwhelming, especially when ds is in a whiny mood or dd decides to be a booger. Dh is here and is a great help most of the time, but I still feel like I have to do all the care giving (my fault I know, but I can't help it). Some days are great, others not so great.

I keep saying I'm going to get a job outside of the home after ds is in school (or if we have another, after he/she is in school), but in reality I probably won't. My degree is in child development and before I opened my fcc, I worked in a couple of centers for the past 14 years so I feel this is my calling and my career. I honestly don't really know how to do anything else, well as well as what I do now. Ultimately for me, I think a lot of my burnout feeling are due to the fact that I'm used to working with others (can be good or bad) and here, it's just me.
Ultimately I would like to do what you do and do this outside of my home where I have more room and could hire a couple of providers.

Great question, I'll be looking back to see other responses!

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I did not post to the original message but have been following. Personally, I am in FCC for the long haul and have started on my second generation of child care children and can see reaching the third generation. However, there are 2 things that nearly push me over the edge....First thing being; the state QRIS, not going to beat a dead horse because it is evident in previous post how I feel about that. Second thing is the drastic change in families over the past years....There seems to be no respect for others, no accountability/responsibility, no trust.....it is a "me" generation and that is frustrating.... I have been blessed with wonderful mentors and support systems which keep me in tact from totally falling off that edge when I get there.

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In my experience, the times I have been burnt out is because of my own young children for the most part. I love them dearly and love being at home for them but I think this job would be a lot easier on me if my kids were older. My husband works nights and sleeps in in the mornings.

I love my job even thou some days are a lot harder than others. I do not plan to quit and get another job once my kids are older. I have always wanted to be a provider or work with kids.

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Thanks for the replies ladies...

I am really curious as provider burnout has been a really hot topic on several forums/groups I visit so being the black/white person I am, I am really trying to find the root of it.

Is it the providers who are merely making due with this job until their own kids are older?
Is it the lack of support from family members?
Is it the season? time of year?
Is it QRIS? State reg changes etc?
Is it the parenting trends?

etc, etc, etc...

It really IS a fascinating subject so thank you again for the replies....

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I appreciate this blackcat... I ask myself sometimes if the problem is within myself to just accept who/what I am and stand for and for me to quit allowing others to steal my happiness personally and professionally!?!?

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As I contemplate quitting daily, hourly, getting paid on Friday only now remind me that they will be coming back the next week.

I am giving my notice on tomorrow to all of my families. It is bitter sweet because we will all miss the the kiddos, all who have been with me since the beginning.

My frustration began with the extremely long hours, 6 am to 6 pm. Which I know is normal for childcare. Then one of my kids turned 2 and turned into a monster, who can only be controlled by pure structure and firm words (not fun for me). Then the last straw was a mom went on a rant at how she can't believe what providers charge when they are keeping multiple kids, she said this to ME!!! I didn't have the energy to even respond. I am over it.

So I start a new job that I will work weekends overnight so I am still available to my daughter who is home with me during the day. I will be making the same as daycare and its close enough that gas won't be a factor.

To say I am excited is an understatement. After this job I think I will appreciate the simplicity of going to a job where people say thank you, you have a lunch break, down time, paid time off, sick time. I feel like I am about to have the best of both worlds.

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I know I got fed up with daycare several times before my own kids were SA, usually because a DCK was teaching mine a bad habit, or I felt like I was somehow taking away from my own children by having the daycare (which is ridiculous now when I look back on it). It was so much harder when mine were younger. SO MUCH harder!

But...

It was so worth it! I'm so glad I hung in there. My husband and I raised our own children with just our influences, and not some stranger's at a daycare. They are such great kids, too, and I think it has a lot to do with being surrounded with little kids their whole lives (empathy, sympathy, kindness, gentleness, patience). I'm home when they leave for school and when they come home and days out, and making decent money in the process. I hope I will still be doing this when I have grandchildren.

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I have my 5yr old here in the mornings and some days when she doesn't attend k-prep.

I don't plan on entering the work force until 5yr old has graduated from HS. My reasoning for opening my own daycare were that I was unhappy with current daycare, our area was and still is in need of daycare, I love children and felt my true calling was to do this. Even on the WORST day I can't imagine going back to teaching and being as happy as I am now.

I do go through a gauntlet of emotions some days but not all day. I find my anxiety gets really high the night before knowing that I have x amount of things I want to do and still get up at 5:00 am and work till 6:30. I think the cold weather factors in as well. I started daycare in May so we had about 4 glorious months of being outside playing etc. Now we are stuck looking out at piles of snow and negative temps.

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Parents are what get me miffed and wanting to throw it in. But, I have learned (duh!) that I can control that! And of course like I stated before the time of year. But, I can't really close for the winter can I?

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Think its a combination of things and not a black or white answer- personal to each person and the influences surrounding the circumstances.

For me I will answer bold above

After answering these I have come up with that I think for some people there is a time and a season for this job, and it is not for everyone. Its a ton of work and looks easy on the outside until your on the inside and doing the daily grind. Long hours. Pay is not the best and not really room to climb. Underpaid for the hours and amount of work involved. I think many people just move around jobs too- I prob have more but my time is up here~ It is interesting.

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To answer BC's question, I think it really depends on what stage your children are at and what their lives entail if you feel burnout/stress or not.

This year I have no elementary children of my own. That considerably lessened a load of mine, trying to go to events during school (parties, programs, special lunches, etc.). It feels good not to have to figure that all out.

The issue now though is trying to get to sporting events/banquets that my children participate in. All the games start between 4:00-5:00 and I don't get off work till 5:20-5:30. Then we are racing to try and get to possibly the last few minutes of whatever they are doing.

Also, I'm now trying to get all my own out the door at the same time of kids arriving which sometimes causes a huge traffic jam at the door. Then right at the end of naptime, some of my kiddos are coming back home which causes for overload with noise right after quiet time.

Now that my kids are older different things causes stress (not so much burnout) then when they were younger. So I'm not sure a person ever feels less stress/burnout till maybe all their own children are maybe out of the house.

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That's sort of what I was thinking....

Most (not all) provider's do this because they have young children of their own. Children they don't want to or can't afford to put in child care themselves so they stay home and do this.

So sometimes it seems that the very reason some providers do this is the same reason that stresses them out...kwim?

It's almost like a no win situation.

Cheerfuldom made a comment not too long ago about the push-pull of this job that she often struggles with wondering if it really made a difference for her kids. Being in daycare with mom and the stresses of having a home daycare in your home verses having her kids in some one else's daycare while she worked outside the home. It got me thinking about the pros and cons for some providers and their kids.

On one hand your kids are lucky they come home to you after school but at the same time, do they miss out when you have to stay at work and miss part or all of their games...kwim?

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EACTLY!!!! The public, including our clients, view child care as an "easy stay at home" job when, in fact, it is triple-duty and one of the most important professions/careers.

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parenting trends. First and foremost, BY FAR, trumps every other source of burnout.

I cannot imagine my former daycare provider telling me that my son smacked her in the face and turning to my son (at an age where he knows better) to comfort him and reward him with a treat for feeling sad.

I started my daycare journey with my daughter homeschooled with kidney issues/dialysis 3x/week, my own special needs preschooler (asd), my own toddler in speech therapy 3x/week and my own newborn. I added 2 little kids to the mix. I took them to therapy and dialysis, everyone was well behaved and it was NOT nearly as hard as it is now. The parents of the littles backed me up, understood how precious nap was, kept their sick kids home, disciplined their kids and had set bedtimes, etc.

Fast forward 7 years- I DO not transport kids. NOBODY here is special needs and I have 6 kids ages 2-5. It's harder. WAY WAY WAY harder.

It's crazy to long for the days of running from this appointment to that, stimming not toilet trained, non verbal preschooler with sensory issues, non verbal toddlers, and breast feeding a newborn. WAY easier than it is now.

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For me it is ALL of the above except the just making due part. I have 3 children,ages 2.5, 6 and 13. I don't contemplate quitting, I contemplate terming. I think the biggest issues for me are children who don't mesh well but I keep them around to fill a spot and parents who give me a hard time. When I have a good group everything is great. The right families make ALL the difference! I recently went through my own "soul searching" and weighed out the pros and cons. I knew I was under way too much stress and needed to figure out why, what was the biggest factor and how can I make it better. I know I have a good thing going, just need to figure out how to de-stress. I made a sort of overhaul of my daycare from my operating hours and policies, to how much I became personally invested in certain issues. I revised my ENTIRE handbook, became even more strict with illnesses, hours of operation. I took more time off, I stopped worrying if parents were upset if I had an appt. I limited areas of my home the kids could use, I take only 5 children instead of 6 like my license says. I REALLY started putting my family first instead of just SAYING it. I started using the epay system so I'm not chasing payments and late fees are automatically added at the close of payment day. And several other stress relievers for me. My plan works, when I stick to, but it's easier said than done. I find the more I put my foot down and stick to my policies the easier it is to do tit he next time. Clear boundaries are a huge part of it. And this forum has helped my tremendously! Not having co workers or just other adults around to talk to plays a HUGE part also. Having others who actually know what I'm going through is a tremendous stress reliever!! Thanks everyone!

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I think this is a big contributor but not the main reason. I have a two year old at home and my husband works very long hours, 6 days a week. So I do morning and evening duty on top of the 11 hours of daycare. As he works Saturadys too, that's another day of looking after the little guy by myself.

On top of that, I have 4 step children who stay with us every other weekend, so there are some weeks where I feel completely surrounded by children!

That being said, it only takes a couple of hours to myself to refresh and feel 'normal' again.

Overall, I find the biggest stress factor is the simple lack of understanding that others have for this profession. Parents and friends who barely spend more than two waking hours a day with their child, but think child care is easy!

That and the fact that my dishwasher broke a few weeks and ago and we haven't been able too afford to replace it

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BC-did your MIL ever experince burnout or was it just your hubby that had the bad experience. When you posted your husbands thoughts I don't remember him ever saying anything about his moms feelings.

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She suffered some mental health issues but I honestly cannot say if her experiences as a provider played any role in that.

She has always been someone I've struggled to be close to/connect with.

DH's experiences are the only ones I am aware of. He only has one of four brothers still living and I've never talked to DH's dad about it.

He owned his own business too so he worked a lot of hours and days outside the 9-5.

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