So I have a DCK who has been going through a lot of changes. loss of 3 family members (2 deaths 1 moved). I can tell that this has also put alot of stress on the parents and they have been fighting quite a bit. (they actually both told me)

Because of this, I have eased up on DCK, taking into consideration that he may be doing things for attention, stress and what not. It's been 3 weeks since I have really tried to just give the DCK a little more love, attention and patience, just not to the point that it will create issues later.

This week so far has been really really bad with DCK. DCKs behavior has been way over the top. I feel like maybe I have been doing the little extra's a little too long. What do you guys think? How much longer would you continue the extra's?

Also I just found out that the DCK will be moving house, but will still be here with me at my care..... So here we go with another major change.

Reply

Honestly, I don't think you should really give him that little bit of extra. I know your heart is in the right place but I really believe that when kids are going through stressful situations the absolute best thing you can do for them is to stay within the normal routine as much as possible.

Any deviation from what he already knows is going to freak him out and possibly make his world even more stressful and/or send him the wrong idea about what happens when things in life go astray....kwim?

I would just be supportive of his feelings and listen to him when he needs to vent or wants to talk. If he breaks rules or throws toys or whatever, do what you would normally do so you can show him that when one thing changes, other things stay consistent and stable.

Reply

I totally agree with blackcat. Back to normal. Kids use this even if they don't know they are doing it.

Soon you'll have a tyrant.

Reply

ditto ditto ditto
an extra hug and such is fine, otherwise, back to normal!

Reply