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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Earlier Closing Time On Fridays RANT About How Mom Responded
Lucy 08:14 AM 12-04-2013
Not sure if anyone remembers my post about me not being sure if I wanted to do this, or how to let the mom know about it, etc. But I've thought a long time about closing at 4:30 instead of 5:30 on Fridays. It would really only affect one mom, as I'd still let the other mom get here about 4:45.

The 5:30 mom normally gets off at 5:00, but on Fridays, she gets off at 4:00. And to top it off, her husband has every-other Friday off, so on those Fridays, HE could pick up. So not really a big deal to either one of them, right? But I've watched their oldest for 9.5 years, and now their youngest for 5, and I've always been open till 5:30, so I struggled a little bit with the decision because I'm a chicken and didn't know how they'd respond. Yes, I know --- my business, my rules, my hours, etc., etc. I'm just a big chicken sometimes. I don't regret the decision, but I tend to be a person who wants everyone to agree with - or have a good feeling about - my decisions, or whatever you want to call it. I don't want anyone to question me, or be mad I guess. I need therapy!!! LOL

Anyway, I finally decided to do it. I mentioned it in passing to her in person one evening while we talked by the cars. (I was leaving to go somewhere as she left). She played dumb like she didn't know what I was asking for. She was like, "you want Hubby to have them on his Fridays off??" I was like, no, no... just an earlier closing on Fridays. She asked another couple questions till she "got it". Then I said I'd have her new rate for her next week (because we set an average per year and she pays that average monthly - and next year her daughter starts 1st grade, so the rate would change.)

I gave her an envelope with the new rate and the 2014 days off/holiday calendar on Monday. This morning as she's leaving, she says, "Oh, Hubby asked me, and I didn't have an answer for him. Why is it you want to close early on Fridays?? I wasn't sure." I probably looked like And just said, "Um, no reason, really. Just wanting that extra time on Fridays. Everyone else is gone about that time, and it's when the kids (hers) get the most hyper." (They're just being normal 10 and 5 yr old kids really, but as I get older, I have less noise tolerance LOL. And that last hour of the day is when I get the most tense over it. So I follow it up saying, "Just something different I guess." She nods in agreement and says "oh ok, and your husband now has Fridays off too" -- like she was trying to "help" my answer (??) And I agreed and said "that too". (He now works four 10-hour days, with Friday off, but that really was NOT the reason for wanting to close early on Fridays!)

Anyway, it just kinda threw me for a loop, and made me mad a little bit. After she left is when I thought of all the stuff I SHOULD have said. If I had to do it over, I'd say, "Um... be..cause ..... I own my own business ..?.. and can set my own hours ... ???" Kind of sarcastic-like. But jeez, what was her motivation for asking me? Or actually, her husband's reasons for asking her to ask me! And what kind of conversation did she and her husband have about this ONE hour PER WEEK???? Sheesh. This just happened not more than 30 minutes ago (I'm on the west coast), and my heart is still beating a little fast.

I think it comes down to parents thinking of us more as their nanny / employee. They don't think of this as a business where I set policies and they purchase a time slot for the child to attend. Know what I mean? I know I've rambled enough about this. It just irks me. I wish I could just say, or write a notice, that I'm closing at this time starting 2014, and be done with it. And that the parents wouldn't question it, or even mention it, and just deal with it. Ugh!!!

In her defense (I know... I know... I don't need to defend her LOL) We've had an almost 10-year relationship, and maybe it was just a friendly question and she was genuinely interested to know if I had something "exciting" going on.... Maybe?? Ok, nevermind! LOL I really need therapy!!
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Leigh 08:45 AM 12-04-2013
I would just tell her, if it comes up again, I decided I wanted to get off work early on Fridays for the same reason YOU like getting off work early on Fridays. You understand that, don't you?
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daycarediva 08:50 AM 12-04-2013
"I was jealous of your early closing Friday, and since you are off and your kids are the only ones still here, it works out perfectly for BOTH of us!" SMILE!


I don't understand people!
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Lucy 08:52 AM 12-04-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I would just tell her, if it comes up again, I decided I wanted to get off work early on Fridays for the same reason YOU like getting off work early on Fridays. You understand that, don't you?
Gosh how I WISH I could say stuff like that to people sometimes!!! Perfect!

Originally Posted by daycarediva:
"I was jealous of your early closing Friday, and since you are off and your kids are the only ones still here, it works out perfectly for BOTH of us!" SMILE!


I don't understand people!
I don't understand people either.
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butterfly 08:53 AM 12-04-2013

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Leigh 09:03 AM 12-04-2013
Originally Posted by Lucy:
Gosh how I WISH I could say stuff like that to people sometimes!!! Perfect!



I don't understand people either.
You certainly CAN say it. Say it politely with a smile, just asking for her agreement that she understands how you feel about getting off earlier for the week. Once you have her agreement (and she is not going to say "No, I don't understand the joy of getting off work early"), then the discussion is over. She has agreed to your terms by you giving her no choice but to agree. It's a sales technique-get them to say yes by not giving the opportunity to say no.
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julie 09:05 AM 12-04-2013
Yup, agreed with the other people. They would never need to justify why they enjoy finishing an hour early at their job, and neither should you.

This is what I would respond "To be honest, my kids have been demanding more alone time with me, and I am happy to have the flexibility to be able to spend it with them. They are only young once, right?" Smile, because it also leaves a little dig that she could have chosen to spend that time with her kids for that hour and now you are making that decision for them because you value that time with your own family. I hope they don't ask you again though.
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Shell 10:22 AM 12-04-2013
It does sound like she tried to "help" you answer-like you need a reason that is sufficient enough to make her pick up her child ONE hour earlier- ridiculous!
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melilley 10:26 AM 12-04-2013
Well, we could go to therapy together , I'm the same way.
But I can't believe she asked you why! And doesn't it suck when you think of what to say after the fact?! I know that all too well.
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Heidi 10:31 AM 12-04-2013
I just don't know sometimes...

I was so sick with a really bad cold/sinus infection the week before Thanksgiving. Felt to guilty to take a day off, because I knew the next week was only a 3-day week. I felt like crap, but muddled through despite a terrible lack of sleep.

This morning, dcm of my toughest kiddo (intense baby) comes in pj's, and he will be here all day for sure. She's going home to sleep because she has the same thing I had. I had her kiddo and 3 others (one day 5) while I was sick.

It's her right (she pays for the spot), and I sure understand it, but it's kind of depressing to think there is no consideration at all.

Oh, and she texted me in the middle of the night (last night) to say she was coming late. Then, 15 minutes before arrival sent another text changing it. He gets here a 1/2 hour before anyone else. Good thing I never got the first text, or I might have decided to spend an extra half hour in bed.
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Mister Sir Husband 10:40 AM 12-04-2013
Could always tell her you were considering closing on Fridays all together, but felt it would be too much of an inconvenience for some to just do it, so your slowly phasing them out an hour at a time. Tell her you will let her know when the next "hour" will take effect
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butterfly 11:28 AM 12-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
Could always tell her you were considering closing on Fridays all together, but felt it would be too much of an inconvenience for some to just do it, so your slowly phasing them out an hour at a time. Tell her you will let her know when the next "hour" will take effect

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TwinKristi 01:25 PM 12-04-2013
You could always think of something good to say and tell her she caught you off guard this morning and you hadn't had your coffee yet or something but that your dh's schedule really isn't why, you're just making a business decision to help improve the quality of your care and since her 2 kids are the only ones here and at least one if not both parents aren't working during that hour it only makes sense to change the business hours on Friday.
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MotherNature 01:39 PM 12-04-2013
Oh, I'd so want to say, "I dunno.. Why after all these years of your husband being OFF that day while the kids are here is he having such a hard time being a little early?" Or... "I dunno, but why are you both being so passive aggressive over half an hour or s that doesn't really even affect you? I probably wouldn't ay it, but I'd want to.
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dionmartin216 07:03 PM 02-02-2015
The daycare parents absolutely kill me with their expectations. It seems they forget how they feel when they want to get off early on Fridays at their job. I find dc parents to be so damn selfish. I love working with children but the parents are sometimes unbearable. At our daycare we only have 1 set of parents that are good. A voucher daycare parent which I don't have to tell you that she drops her kids off at when we open and comes in rushing in the evening at 6 with a scarf on her head from home. By that time her kids are soooooo ready to go home. I've been in this industry for 3 years and it's time for me to get out because the work is too much and no appreciation.

It's your business and you paid for it with $, hard work, sweat and tears. Set your hours and days the way that is best for both parent and you. Certainly they get theirs then you get yours with early off on Friday!
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Indoorvoice 05:57 AM 02-03-2015
Oh man. I wrote about this same situation a while back. I agreed to stay open late for one family and came to find out dad had every Friday off and was using my extra time to go to the bar. They were not paying extra for my extra time and their kids were the only ones staying that late. I told them it wasn't cost effective for me to stay open late for one family and that I was closing an hour early effective immediately. Your decision does not need to make them happy and they don't need to feel that its fair! They are using you, they can take your rules or leave them! If anything, they should feel bad!
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Play Care 06:30 AM 02-03-2015
Op - since this happened at the beginning of December, has there been an update? Did they leave or have they been able to work the hours?
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momofboys 06:43 AM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Op - since this happened at the beginning of December, has there been an update? Did they leave or have they been able to work the hours?
It was from Dec 2013, not 2014
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Controlled Chaos 06:47 AM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
Could always tell her you were considering closing on Fridays all together, but felt it would be too much of an inconvenience for some to just do it, so your slowly phasing them out an hour at a time. Tell her you will let her know when the next "hour" will take effect

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Play Care 06:55 AM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by momofboys:
It was from Dec 2013, not 2014
An oldie but goodie

But I'm still interested in how it played out.
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Tags:backbone, early closing time, i'm a chicken, rants, setting policy
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