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Old 06-11-2020, 04:30 PM
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daycarediva daycarediva is offline
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Default SA and Potty Accidents...

When do you say enough is enough and hand it back to the parents.

Boy is 7. #1 and #2 accidents 1-2x/week. Happens at home as well. Dr says physically child is fine. I see some serious regression (as expected during the pandemic). School had serious concerns this year. Not able to sit, take turns talking, impulsivity. Teacher directly mentioned both anxiety and ADHD. Eval was 'inconclusive' (basically moms eval- no issues vs. teacher eval- all issues)

Now that child is not just b/a school and here FT for months... I concur with the teacher. CANNOT sit for a story. Blurts things out/interrupts/talks over EVERY child during EVERY turn. Behind on academics and social skills.


Can't wipe his butt.

Potty accidents, child attempts to withhold stool until he has a severe stomach ache, then there is this HUGE production. Crying in the bathroom, etc.

I have NEVER told a child not to use the restroom when needed. Kid is old enough to just lmk and run inside when we are outside. He often wets his bathing suit during water play and refuses to acknowledge it but "needs to change immediately." followed by tears. (clothes smell of urine, and I am legally required to bag clothes with bodily fluid to be sent home but he puts them in our laundry basket where everyone else puts their wet clothes).

Now that I am correcting behavior, making HIM wipe (then checking-----for now....) the child is crying at drop off. Mom is freaking out.

We REALLY enjoy this kiddo. He's sweet and kind, funny and smart. Creative and has GREAT strengths. I'm NOT saying terminate. Any ideas on how to handle it?

Mom is beyond a tad anxious herself and about lost her mind (and is now anti education, no distance learning was done AT ALL by them) that the teacher even suggested a problem with her perfect little man...


SOS, ya'll. Send help.
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Old 06-11-2020, 05:24 PM
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Poor kid and parent. Sounds like they both need help
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Old 06-11-2020, 06:48 PM
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sahm1225 sahm1225 is online now
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Can you set a timer to remind him to go to the bathroom? He sounds like heís struggling from the disruption of his routine and dcm is in such denial that it doesnít help.
When he starts To pee, Can he stop It? Mom might be able to buy the Thicker underwear to help absorb If itís just drops..

The one thing I saw as a red flag is that heís holding in his poops and then cries. He could be dealing with constipation and because heís used to the feeling of being impacted (so the feeling we get when we have to poop, heís feeling it 24/7), itís throwing off his body be able to tell him he needs to pee.
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Old 06-12-2020, 08:51 AM
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With kids 5 and over with poop accidents, I call parents at work to come and change their child. It usually only takes 1 to 2 times of calling a parent for the problem to get fixed. Cleaning up after older children is something I should not have to do. Absolutely nothing wrong with putting it on the parentís shoulders.

Pee accidents they clean up after themselves. And kids start learning to wipe themselves at 3 here.
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Old 06-12-2020, 01:52 PM
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That's so sad. Our neighbor's 8yo has extreme ADHD and wets/soils himself often. He simply won't break from an activity to relieve himself, and even though it distresses and embarrasses him, he can't learn from it and change his behavior.
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Old 06-15-2020, 05:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestle View Post
That's so sad. Our neighbor's 8yo has extreme ADHD and wets/soils himself often. He simply won't break from an activity to relieve himself, and even though it distresses and embarrasses him, he can't learn from it and change his behavior.
Does that boy have an ADHD coach working with him to teach him those type of life skills.
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Old 06-15-2020, 05:45 AM
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They make diapers big enough for this issue. Millions of adults wear them daily to deal with their own issues. It is never acceptable to expect others to deal with this issue when it can be managed in a sanitary way so simply. Shame is taught and completely unnecessary.

The boy should wear disposable pants until his issue is resolved. Why should we shame children with an issue we would not shame adults for? For the parent's financial convenience?
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Old 06-15-2020, 05:09 PM
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My daughter , who turned 7 this month, doesnt have the behavioral issues to others (just to parents) but the toilet. I am talking 3-4 a DAY every day. Turns out it was all control. I did everything, and the big hospital we went to gave tip, we had her in counseling, etc.
She hated being told to go or to change. We gave her a watch with an alarm, etc, did not work. I went against everyone telling me how to control and fix it by making her go-as if that was easy.
Finally I told her I gave up, and stopped talking about it.
Within 2 days, while on vacation no less, she stopped. It went down to like 1 real accident a week.

Doesn't sound much like my kiddo, but if you want to look at it from a control perspective, it may help.
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Old 06-17-2020, 05:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
They make diapers big enough for this issue. Millions of adults wear them daily to deal with their own issues. It is never acceptable to expect others to deal with this issue when it can be managed in a sanitary way so simply. Shame is taught and completely unnecessary.

The boy should wear disposable pants until his issue is resolved. Why should we shame children with an issue we would not shame adults for? For the parent's financial convenience?
I agree. Age doesn't matter. It is not OK for a child to be eliminating in their pants in my house. I'd insist on disposables, too. In addition, I'd tell parents that the child NEEDS an xray to check for impaction. Likely, he just needs a good cleanout (this can take up to 2 months!). They should see another doctor if theirs says that nothing is wrong.
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Old 06-21-2020, 02:53 PM
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My daughter has ADHD, sensory issues, anxiety and always dealt with poop accidents. A lot of the time it was just happening and she really just didn't know it was going to happen (it would just be a little bit) and other times she was holding it.

There is a YouTube video I recommend to anyone whose child has elimination issues called The Poo in You.
https://youtu.be/SgBj7Mc_4sc

Adults should watch this. Children should watch this. Good info here.

Also, the digestive specialist we talked to recommended that my daughter sit on the potty for 5 minutes after every meal, we allowed her to watch a tablet, which was a big deal! This taught her and her body what it felt like before she had to poo and also helped her eliminate constipated poo. For her it took just a couple of weeks and she was all regulated and she hasn't had any problems in a couple of years!

It may not turn out to be the miracle they're looking for but education about our bodies is never a bad thing, right?
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