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KIDZRMYBIZ 06:35 AM 11-23-2015
How would you guys respond to this? I am having trouble finding the right words.

DCD tells me that 9mo has a little gouge in the palm of the hand this morn at drop-off. They found it Fri night and say it happened here. I am certain it didn't. This looks like something that would have made her really cry, and probably bleed. I most definately don't have anything here that she would have access to that is sharp to cut her like that. She has a lot more free range at home than she has here, but of course the knee-jerk reaction is that it happened at daycare.

I want them to know I am certain it didn't happen here - I would have known about it, and I would have reported it to them. I feel it most likely happened at home where she is free to scoot around over the entire multiple floors of their house, not here where it is pretty limited AND in a room meant ONLY for LOs. And what little freedom she did have here will be even less now, because I need to know 100% that she didn't get hurt here, instead of the 99% sure I am now.

They didn't make a big issue of it, but this isn't the first time. They have texted after hours asking about a redness or "rash" or something benign that they end up texting back a few hours later saying "never mind, it faded away." I don't like it, but I think it's normal first-time-parent jitters.

How would you respond to them about something like this?
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nanglgrl 07:05 AM 11-23-2015
I would respond "Thank you for bringing the cut on X's hand to my attention. After looking over everything in the area that X plays in I'm certain there isn't anything that would have caused that injury. Nothing happened out of the ordinary on Friday, if it had I would have brought it to your attention immediately". Depending on how annoying they're being I might add "I think the best course of action would be to start giving her a once over on arrival and departure and documenting anything out of the ordinary so please plan to stay a couple of minutes longer" or I would just term. I've had this parent many times and it's surely not a first parent thing...it usually kept getting worse and was always discovered that the child had suffered the injury or diaper rash at home. My favorite is when they come with a bad rash on Monday morning when they never get rashes here and the parent says it was like that when they picked up on Friday.
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Blackcat31 07:06 AM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
How would you guys respond to this? I am having trouble finding the right words.

DCD tells me that 9mo has a little gouge in the palm of the hand this morn at drop-off. They found it Fri night and say it happened here. I am certain it didn't. This looks like something that would have made her really cry, and probably bleed. I most definately don't have anything here that she would have access to that is sharp to cut her like that. She has a lot more free range at home than she has here, but of course the knee-jerk reaction is that it happened at daycare.

I want them to know I am certain it didn't happen here - I would have known about it, and I would have reported it to them. I feel it most likely happened at home where she is free to scoot around over the entire multiple floors of their house, not here where it is pretty limited AND in a room meant ONLY for LOs. And what little freedom she did have here will be even less now, because I need to know 100% that she didn't get hurt here, instead of the 99% sure I am now.

They didn't make a big issue of it, but this isn't the first time. They have texted after hours asking about a redness or "rash" or something benign that they end up texting back a few hours later saying "never mind, it faded away." I don't like it, but I think it's normal first-time-parent jitters.

How would you respond to them about something like this?
I would take the time to tell the face to face or e-mail if you prefer and say something along the lines of

"As promised during our interview, IF anything should occur at daycare that causes injury or discomfort to your child, I will notify you either at pick up or immediately depending on the situation. Please do not assume that I am unaware of the things your child has access to in care as providing a safe environment for your child and the others in care is of the utmost importance to me. I also need you to understand that although I welcome open communication, I do not wish to be quizzed afterhours for any situation that can wait until morning to be discussed. Thank you"
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KIDZRMYBIZ 07:31 AM 11-23-2015
Thank you both, Nanglgrl and BlackCat31. I am going to take wording from both of those and leave a written note in her milk bag (there was a note in there from DCM about it, too). I will make a copy for myself, too, and start documenting. If it is happening too often, I will tell them face to face about doing to look-overs and limiting the after-hours quizzing to true emergencies.

They are a good DCF, but this is beginning to rub me the wrong way.
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Blackcat31 08:01 AM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
Thank you both, Nanglgrl and BlackCat31. I am going to take wording from both of those and leave a written note in her milk bag (there was a note in there from DCM about it, too). I will make a copy for myself, too, and start documenting. If it is happening too often, I will tell them face to face about doing to look-overs and limiting the after-hours quizzing to true emergencies.

They are a good DCF, but this is beginning to rub me the wrong way.
Totally understand.

I try to empathize with new parents but at the same time I try really hard to stress to them that trust is a cornerstone of our relationship and they have to trust that I am doing everything I can to keep their child safe and that if I feel something warrants telling them or notifying them, most certainly will but I also try to help them understand that constantly being questioned (no matter what their intention are) can be hurtful and sometimes just plain old rude.

I am also sure to stress the importance of respecting my NON-business hours. I make sure they understand that it's my family time and just as they would not appreciate their family time being interrupted by their co-workers, I feel the same.

When I put it like that, they almost always understand. I do offer alternatives such as e-mailing (verses calling or texting) but even in those instances, I let them know I rarely respond to anything to do with work outside of working hours.
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nannyde 08:29 AM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
How would you guys respond to this? I am having trouble finding the right words.

DCD tells me that 9mo has a little gouge in the palm of the hand this morn at drop-off. They found it Fri night and say it happened here. I am certain it didn't. This looks like something that would have made her really cry, and probably bleed. I most definately don't have anything here that she would have access to that is sharp to cut her like that. She has a lot more free range at home than she has here, but of course the knee-jerk reaction is that it happened at daycare.

I want them to know I am certain it didn't happen here - I would have known about it, and I would have reported it to them. I feel it most likely happened at home where she is free to scoot around over the entire multiple floors of their house, not here where it is pretty limited AND in a room meant ONLY for LOs. And what little freedom she did have here will be even less now, because I need to know 100% that she didn't get hurt here, instead of the 99% sure I am now.

They didn't make a big issue of it, but this isn't the first time. They have texted after hours asking about a redness or "rash" or something benign that they end up texting back a few hours later saying "never mind, it faded away." I don't like it, but I think it's normal first-time-parent jitters.

How would you respond to them about something like this?
"It wasn't there when I washed her hands right before your arrival Friday. It looks painful. If I were you I would take her into the ER and have a plastic surgeon take a look at it."

I have had this parent who tried to imply something happened (rash, scratch, red mark etc) and the ONLY thing to do is steadfast insistence it wasn't there at my house and ESCALATION to the kid needs to be seen by a specialist Doctor immediately for it.

"The mark looks painful, I would take her to the emergency room." The rash looks painful. I would take her to the Emergency room. The scratch looks like it could become infected. I would take her to the emergency room.

That response stops the texts and calls. You are saying... you are blaming me so go prove it. If it's bad enough to involve me and take my time... it is an emergency so get the kid seen now.
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midaycare 10:46 AM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by nannyde:
"It wasn't there when I washed her hands right before your arrival Friday. It looks painful. If I were you I would take her into the ER and have a plastic surgeon take a look at it."

I have had this parent who tried to imply something happened (rash, scratch, red mark etc) and the ONLY thing to do is steadfast insistence it wasn't there at my house and ESCALATION to the kid needs to be seen by a specialist Doctor immediately for it.

"The mark looks painful, I would take her to the emergency room." The rash looks painful. I would take her to the Emergency room. The scratch looks like it could become infected. I would take her to the emergency room.

That response stops the texts and calls. You are saying... you are blaming me so go prove it. If it's bad enough to involve me and take my time... it is an emergency so get the kid seen now.
Pure genius
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mommyneedsadayoff 10:54 AM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by nannyde:
"It wasn't there when I washed her hands right before your arrival Friday. It looks painful. If I were you I would take her into the ER and have a plastic surgeon take a look at it."

I have had this parent who tried to imply something happened (rash, scratch, red mark etc) and the ONLY thing to do is steadfast insistence it wasn't there at my house and ESCALATION to the kid needs to be seen by a specialist Doctor immediately for it.

"The mark looks painful, I would take her to the emergency room." The rash looks painful. I would take her to the Emergency room. The scratch looks like it could become infected. I would take her to the emergency room.

That response stops the texts and calls. You are saying... you are blaming me so go prove it. If it's bad enough to involve me and take my time... it is an emergency so get the kid seen now.
I had a similar situation and this forum gave me the same advice and it worked. Dcm texted me after they left and said her daughter (6 months old) had a black eye and asked me what happened today Of course, nothing had happened so we went back and forth and she showed me pics and the next day I checked baby out. No black eyes, just a little red from being rubbed probably (they are farmers and it was harvest season at the time), which is what I told her. Well, after two days of her making an issue, I told her she needs to take baby to the doc before she can come back. She did, nothing was wrong (doc said baby probably just rubbed her eyes from allergies) and mom seemed a little embarrassed. She never mentioned it again, so I agree with Nanny. Put it back on them when they do this kind of stuff. Don't entertain their need to make a big deal of something.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 11:50 AM 11-23-2015
Nanny's advice will work the next time they text about red eyes (that's what happens when they cry. Yes, she cried when I din't pick her up. Shocker.) or sleep marks when she was a smaller infant and slept a lot. They always are worried that she is having an allergic reaction to my carpet cleaner or laundry detergent. I will use it!

This is what I wrote:

Thanks for bringing the cut on DCGs hand to my attention. After looking over everything in the limited areas of the DC playroom that DCG plays in, I'm certain there isn't anything that would have caused that. Nothing out of the ordinary happened on Friday; if it had I would have notified you. Providing a safe environment for all the children in my care is of the utmost importance to me.

Signed,
Your Unbelivably Amazing Provider That Does Not Deserve This Kind of Questioning So Knock It Off Or You're Outta Here
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mommyneedsadayoff 11:59 AM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
Nanny's advice will work the next time they text about red eyes (that's what happens when they cry. Yes, she cried when I din't pick her up. Shocker.) or sleep marks when she was a smaller infant and slept a lot. They always are worried that she is having an allergic reaction to my carpet cleaner or laundry detergent. I will use it!

This is what I wrote:

Thanks for bringing the cut on DCGs hand to my attention. After looking over everything in the limited areas of the DC playroom that DCG plays in, I'm certain there isn't anything that would have caused that. Nothing out of the ordinary happened on Friday; if it had I would have notified you. Providing a safe environment for all the children in my care is of the utmost importance to me.

Signed,
Your Unbelivably Amazing Provider That Does Not Deserve This Kind of Questioning So Knock It Off Or You're Outta Here

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Blackcat31 12:02 PM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
Nanny's advice will work the next time they text about red eyes (that's what happens when they cry. Yes, she cried when I din't pick her up. Shocker.) or sleep marks when she was a smaller infant and slept a lot. They always are worried that she is having an allergic reaction to my carpet cleaner or laundry detergent. I will use it!

This is what I wrote:

Thanks for bringing the cut on DCGs hand to my attention. After looking over everything in the limited areas of the DC playroom that DCG plays in, I'm certain there isn't anything that would have caused that. Nothing out of the ordinary happened on Friday; if it had I would have notified you. Providing a safe environment for all the children in my care is of the utmost importance to me.

Signed,
Your Unbelivably Amazing Provider That Does Not Deserve This Kind of Questioning So Knock It Off Or You're Outta Here


I kind of feel like saying "after looking everything over..." implies that you didn't know for sure if there was or wasn't something there that DCG could've been hurt on.

I'd say something like "double checking" or "re-checking" or some other wording that shows you ARE confident there is nothing available to DCG that could cause injury....kwim?

Its just wording but I just wanted to point that out from a different perspective.
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nanglgrl 03:02 PM 11-23-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


I kind of feel like saying "after looking everything over..." implies that you didn't know for sure if there was or wasn't something there that DCG could've been hurt on.

I'd say something like "double checking" or "re-checking" or some other wording that shows you ARE confident there is nothing available to DCG that could cause injury....kwim?

Its just wording but I just wanted to point that out from a different perspective.
You always have better wording!
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