I have to make decisions every day. But today Im making a tough one. I know that one of my parents like that I keep low ratios. She allowed me to care for her son because I had low ratios. Even after I took in two more children, she kept him here. She even wanted to hire me on as a nanny for her son. She is expecting a second child in September. The big decision that Im making really is a financial one for us. My oldest son is 14 now and in the state of Virginia, he can be a legal "helper" to me now. Im going to "hire" him and pay him for Summer work. Once the school year rolls around in September, I wont be over ratio anyway so I wont need to hire anyone else. What I know is that when I hire my son, I want to take in one more child to be AT my ratio. Six. She isnt going to like that and she's probably going to quit. What Ive come to grips with is this: Its my business. I love children to death but this job also pays my bills. If the legal ratio is 1:6 and Im within that, she can choose not to like it but I dont have to care what she thinks. We need the extra money right now and Im not breaking any laws. My son helping me is just a perk for the Summertime and puts some money in his pocket. I have to start putting my foot down and not make decision that wont tick off my parents......

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I think I hear a backbone growing! Good for you! I am slowly getting mine too. WooHoo!! Oh, why, isn't there a "pat on the back" smilie? I'd definitely send it to you!

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Just wanted to mention that the legal ratio in Virginia is 1:5 unless you are licensed.

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Your business - Your rules. You can run it as you see fit. Besides, daycare, like any business grows and evolves as you are in it longer and gain experience, or have life changes etc. Does anyone begrudge Sears or Walmart for growing? No, they don't. Why is daycare any different? One would think a parent would see the VALUE in having a daycare provider that not only could manage to put in the time committment and interest in keeping her daycare business running for all these years but who wants to expand and grow. THAT is good business and shows your committment. You are not stagnant and want to improve.

If she's not okay with it then let her go. You can't please everyone and please yourself.

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You need to do what is right for your family. Maybe you could soften the blow by letting her know it's only temporary for the summer. Unless you plan on hiring someone once your son goes back to school.

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Wow, she would never come to my daycare 1:12! LOL I do have a helper for the summer now however! It is your buisness and your decision and your bills that need to be paid! 1:6 is definately manageable and she has nothing to complain about, but if she doesn't like it she can certainly go somewhere else and there is more fish in the sea for you! Do what works best for you! : )

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Do what is best for your family. If she likes/trusts you enough to want to hire you as a nanny and would still quit just because you add one more child, then she NEEDS to find a nanny because a home daycare wont please her. I wouldnt worry about it and just move on with your business with or without her.

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I agree that you have to do what's best for you, your family and your business...with possibly an explanation to your current clients, but certainly not an apology. I understand your concern though - but she should be able to trust by now that her child continues to receive the same quality of care with you.

I now make it one of my *disclaimer* points in interviews with prospective clients, that the group that I have that day, may not be the same group that I have when they enroll - because situations change in our business (both mine and my clients) - and I encourage prospective families to make their decision based on the **provider** not the **group** and they have to trust their provider to know what they can handle. I go on to explain that I know other providers that can't handle 3 kids...and others that handle 12 perfectly well. (That always gets me the deer-in-the-headlights-stare from parents that come into the interview STUCK on the issue of the number of kids on a roster)

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You need to do what you feel is best for you and your business.

I started as unlicensed taking my neighbors 2 boys plus my own 3. Here I am 21 years later, licensed at the highest fcc level at 2:14. My program has involved over the years also from 'babysitting' to 'child care'; from using my formal living/dining room upstairs to a dedicated walkout space now with a separate entrance.

Always took my currently enrolled families into consideration when making policy changes, but you have to remember that those families won't be there forever and in most cases they don't make their family decisions based on what is best for you.

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Thanks you guys!

I did explain to her one time when she said that she couldnt handle that many kids (up to 6) that that is why she doesnt do it for a living. People who CAN do it, DO do it! I wouldnt be able to go into a restaurant and work 15 tables at a time because I have never done it before so I wouldnt be expected to but I understand that there are people who can do that. Thats why they get paid for that. Thats why I get paid for what I do. Because I can do it and not everyone can.

I dont think its because she doesnt trust me to care for that many, she just wants someone who can provide more one on one care for her son. She is due to have a baby in Sept so I would be losing that child as well. Im not dwelling over it anymore because I cant. I have a job to do and I have bills to pay. If she feels she can find someone who will hold her newborn all day and sit with only her son in her lap all day, more power to her! (She told me these things when she started with me two months ago)

Thanks again for the words of encouragement. I appreciate it. Its going to be hard to break the news to her that Im taking in another child but I have to do it. Probably today. I ran the ad already on Craigslist. I have butterflies. LOL.

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i am in the same situation. i have a 9 month old who started at 6 weeks, with only one other child here. of course mom loved that there were only two of them during the day, however, she was fully aware that i planned on filling up. now i am considering expanding and hiring an assistant. she had the nerve to tell me she "preferred" i didnt. like its her call...lol as much as i love her baby, i'm not going to not expand just cause she doesnt want me to. she can go get a personal nanny if she wants her child to have undivided attention.

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So, how are you going to approach it? Just come right out and tell her that you are going to expand and when you plan on doing it?

I dont know whether I should tell her now before I get another child or until I get someone who responds to the ad and wants to come in for an interview. She will be required to put in a two-week notice but knowing her track record, she'll pay and just not bring him back if she finds someone else. Which is fine with me.

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If it were me, I'd go ahead and tell her since there is already an ad in craigslist. You don't want her to feel blindsighted if she sees it or someone else tell her about it.

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Greenshadow, I think you are making the best decision for your business.

Funny that this parent who is soooo concerned about low ratios turns right around gets pregnant. Maybe that was her plan all along - she wanted to make sure that you had room for the new baby that they were planning.

I am fairly new at this so maybe I am not up on my provider etiquette, but I don't tell my current parents when I have a new family starting. I jsut wait until their paths cross and then I say "Oh, that's Little Johnny. He started last week." Is that wrong of me?

Pammie, I LOVE your disclaimer and I think that I will start doing that too!

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I agree Misol, I don't tell my parents when I have a new child coming. Not their business. It is amazing to me, how some parents think so much is their business (being nosy), when it is my business. Parents here have no say in what I do or how many children I care for, it is none of their business.

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i dont tell them anything either until they notice a new child here. first thing they ask is "so, is that allowed?" like i'm gonna risk getting in trouble by going over ratio. i dont think its any of their business really.

as far as telling them i'm expanding, i put it right in my june newsletter. the only reason i did give a heads up is because this is a REALLY small town, and i thought maybe one of my parents might know someone looking for a job. i'm hoping to find someone without paying the cost to advertise....lol and truthfully, i do want to find someone the parents will like. ultimately, the decision of who to hire is up to me, but in small town living, everyone knows everyone's business, and one of my parents for sure will know the low down on someone, and can tell me who to stear clear from. (i'm still new around here and dont know everyone yet)

the parents of the baby did huff and puff a bit, but like i said, they are free to find a nanny if thats what they want.

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I normally don't mention it either but from some of the posts, it sounds like this is a conversation that she's had with this mom on several occasions already. That's the only reason I mentioned it.

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I think it's great that you are making the decision based on what is better for yourself and your family. Reading about this makes me thing of a story:

There was an old man and his grandchild going into town leading their mule. It was a nice walk and they enjoyed doing it often. As they passed a farm he overheard the farmers talking about how the old man should be smart and ride the mule into town instead of having to walk. So the old man got on the mule and his grandson led the mule. They passed another farm and he overheard the farmers talk about how selfish the old man was for riding the mule and having the young child walk. He got off of the mule and put his grandson on the mule and went on. They passed another farm and he overheard the farmers talking about how bratty the child must be to ride the mule while his poor old grandfather was forced to walk. The old man got on the mule as well and rode on the mule along with his grandson. They passed another farm and he overheard the farmers talking about how abusive they both were for overworking the poor old mule and making it carry the weight of both of them. The old man finally had enough and they both got off and continued their way to town both on foot ignoring anything anyone else had to say and enjoyed the rest of their walk.

Moral of the story: You will never please everyone and someone will always have something to say about the way you do things. It is better to choose for yourself what you would rather do and decide on the way you want to it.

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LOVE the story - and so true!!

I feel like I should mention it to this parent because I already know how she feels and I want to give her the choice as to whether she wants to keep her son in my care or remove him, before I take on another child. If I just bring in another child without telling her first, she will be upset. I feel that even though it IS my business, they should have a say as to whether they want their child in my care knowing that Im bringing in another child. Im not going to NOT bring in a child because she doesnt want me to; Im just allowing her the option to remove him if she wants to BECAUSE Im bringing in another child.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement and advice! I love this place.

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It's understandable. And this way also if she decided she wants to pull her child out you can advertise for two spots instead of just the one. I always find that it's easier to fill two spots (siblings) than it is to find someone with only 1 child or planning to always only have 1 child. If it's 1 spot it takes a little longer and there's always that risk that the parents will have another child and have to leave DC to find someone that can take both kids.

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Can I steal the story? I LOVE it!!

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