Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Breastfeeding Problem
Meeko 11:56 AM 11-15-2013
Great DCM. Pays on time. Calls if she's going to be even a minute late. Friendly and respectful. Baby is 5 months old. A happy, cute as a button little girl.

But here's the problem. The mom works only 5 mins away and wants to come nurse on her lunch break. She asked me at interview if that was OK. I'm all for breastfeeding and told her of course.

My daycare is completely contained in the basement. I have a very strict policy of no parents around any child not their own, so I told her she could come to the upper door and nurse in my living room. I was figuring it was quieter, more private, less embarrassing for my hubby and son (they agree with bf of course, but don't want to watch it).

Well I really didn't figure in the "what could go wrong" factor....

My living room is very child unfriendly and I love it that way. As our own kids are grown, we love not having it childproof. Glass decor on the coffee tables etc.

The baby is getting mobile. Not crawling...but rolling all over the place. I have metal and glass containers on the floor.

I do NOT want to rearrange the room.

The mom tends to play with her after nursing. Yesterday, she called me in from the dining room (I hang out in there while she nurses. While she seems a nice woman, I am not about to leave a client alone in the private part of my house while I am downstairs) She was laughing and told me baby had thrown up on her and that she was going back to work with baby puke in her hair. After she left, I noticed puke all over the back of my beautiful sofa and over a throw cushion. I know it wasn't on purpose, but I hate it. I put a throw over the sofa today and I think she felt bad. Not my intention, but I paid good money for that sofa and want it kept in perfect condition.

Having her nurse downstairs won't work either. The basement is set up like an H shape. Two large rooms with a hallway between them. An office and my sons bedroom are also there, but are private rooms (and we want them to stay that way)

If the mom came in the daycare entrance to nurse down there, she can't be near the other children. I would have to set her up in one room and move 15 kids into the other room..meaning their play area is cut in half for a while every single day. That means cleaning up, stop their activities etc.

So for now, my husband and son take of daycare downstairs while I have to hang out in the dining room and wait for her to be done.

It just isn't working for the flow of our schedule. But I really don't know how to tell her without making her mad or feel bad.

Ideas?
Reply
SunnyDay 12:20 PM 11-15-2013
Could you blame it on your liability insurance and say only the basement is approved for daycare children to be in? Could she sign the child out and breastfeed in her car? Just a couple of thoughts that came to mind, that would be tough!
Reply
MamaBearCanada 12:35 PM 11-15-2013
If you need to keep her and are worried about losing her over this would it be any better if she was in the dining room?

Or could she move her lunchbreak and come when the kids have lunch and nurse in one of the rooms downstairs? Or nurse downstairs in a comfy area behind a screen? I know none of these are ideal I just suggest them in case they are better than the current situation.

I can see why this isn't working and I'd be worried about the baby getting hurt in your living room. Also, nursing is one thing - that's something no one else can provide, but the playing after would also be an issue for me. That baby (via you having to supervise mom) is the only child getting your time for the duraton of the nursing session all for no extra charge. You are not off duty but you can't do things with the other kids either.
Reply
spinnymarie 12:38 PM 11-15-2013
Yep, I'd ask her to do it in the car.
Just tell her you've recently found out that having day care kids outside of the daycare room is a liability, so you won't be able to let them use the upstairs, but that you are happy to have her continue the routine. HOpefully she will get the hint, but if she asks where she can go I'd suggest her car.
I've BF Sooooo many times in my car, it's not any more difficult than in a house.
Reply
Blackcat31 01:00 PM 11-15-2013
"Ya know mom, I agreed to having you come over during your lunch hour and nurse without really thinking it through. At this time it really isn't working out so well for me so I am wondering if you would mind either weaning her off the mid-day nursing session or simply picking her up and taking her somewhere else to nurse? Thanks, I knew you'd understand".

You don't have to tell her WHY it isn't working. Just that it isn't working out the way you thought it would.
Reply
craftymissbeth 01:02 PM 11-15-2013
Maybe you could let her know that for liability reasons daycare children may no longer be cared for in that part of the home without a daycare employee present. You are no longer able to be away from the rest of the group during that time l, but you would be more than happy to hire an assistant and pass that cost along to her. Bet she figures it all out on her own
Reply
Cat Herder 01:08 PM 11-15-2013
At the big center franchise I worked they did not let it happen after the child moved to the "older infants" room (sitting up unassisted). They cited "conflict within group care".

* the need for structure and routine of the group as a whole

= allowing one child to be treated special can made him/her the class target.

= it can prevent the child from getting on the center feeding schedule.

= it created two "adjustment" periods per day for the child (this can make even the provider resent the child)

There was more, but I can't remember it all.

My personal thought is that this mid-day feeding is more about the mother than child (I breastfed 3, never felt it was someone else's job to coddle my life decisions). I also don't offer adult care. One drop-off, one pick-up per day.

On the flip side, I expect the infants fed and ready for the day. For some of my clients with long commutes, this means they will need to feed them here before leaving so I don't have to prepare breast milk while feeding toddlers breakfast. This one is less drama filled as most Moms are in a hurry at drop-off...
Reply
safechner 08:24 PM 11-15-2013
She can take her baby in the car. I do that all the time with my son when I nursed him in my husband's truck or my suv. It is comfortable, quiet, and relax while I breastfed him..
Reply
TwinKristi 08:36 PM 11-15-2013
Is there a reason she can't pump you a bottle? This is an extremely rare request to have fulfilled especially at a setting with a home. Maybe a center may have a better area but you're a home primarily. If there's no where in the hall or downstairs she can sit away from the kids than I would insist she pump a bottle for the midday feeding and pump on her lunch break. It would be great if this idea worked out but if every parent did this it would be a nightmare. Eventually baby may get upset by the leaving every day as well. How long will she nurse? I have friends BFing their 2yr olds still.
Reply
Cradle2crayons 09:06 PM 11-15-2013
I agree. Mainly because of the potential for a huge issue once separation anxiety sets in.

I have an area for privacy for breast feeding, but it's not something I would allow after the first separation cry issue. And it's not something I would allow if the baby doesn't want to eat a bottle after mom leaves (later in the day). Once hose two issues arise, I let moms know immediately their request can't accommodate.

Also, I have rules. There are certain times of the day I allow it. And also, mom must feed and leave. No after play or rocking etc. she can do that on her own time.
Reply
kelsey's kids 09:25 PM 11-15-2013
We have to allow moms to bf and give them a quite comfortable place to do it in.
Reply
kindertouch 11:47 PM 11-16-2013
If you can't provide some place where she can breastfeed her child then nursing in a car is a good alternative. You better talk to her straight about the issue as early as possible. Goodluck!
Reply
lovemykidstoo 09:55 AM 11-17-2013
How many times a day does this baby eat? What does the baby do the other times if mom comes once a day to nurse? I'm assuming she pumps and you feed the baby a bottle the other feedings. If so, then that time would have to be pump/bottle fed as well. It's too hard to have mom come and go a couple of times a day. total disruption.
Reply
Angelsj 11:03 AM 11-17-2013
Is there a place you could set up a rocker or other special chair just for her and baby?
Reply
Meeko 11:58 AM 11-17-2013
The mom only has a small amount of milk. I formula feed the rest of the day. I understand her wanting to nurse if she possible can. However, I also think it's just that she wants to see her baby. She is starting to tell me that she doesn't think she took much and that I will need to top her up with formula.

So basically....my day comes to a halt in the middle so I can sit in another room and wait for her to play with her baby after a very brief nursing.

My problem is that regs state a parent must have access to their child at any time the child is in care. But I have never had a parents want to come DAILY. In the past, a parent would maybe pop by...I would have the other kids move to the other room and they would spend a few minutes with their child and off they go. Once in a while is no big deal.

I am a bit nervous this could turn into something bigger if she decides to take offense at me saying "no more" and place a complaint. She seems very nice, but we all turn into dragons when it comes to our babies KWIM?!!

I was hoping that as her milk diminshed, she would stop the daily routine, but she has made a few comments that lead me to believe she will come by even if she doesn't feed at all.

I don't need the money, but I still hate to term a nice lady and her very cute and easy going baby! She hasn't really done anything "wrong".

Ugh! Dilemma!
Reply
Cradle2crayons 12:09 PM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
The mom only has a small amount of milk. I formula feed the rest of the day. I understand her wanting to nurse if she possible can. However, I also think it's just that she wants to see her baby. She is starting to tell me that she doesn't think she took much and that I will need to top her up with formula.

So basically....my day comes to a halt in the middle so I can sit in another room and wait for her to play with her baby after a very brief nursing.

My problem is that regs state a parent must have access to their child at any time the child is in care. But I have never had a parents want to come DAILY. In the past, a parent would maybe pop by...I would have the other kids move to the other room and they would spend a few minutes with their child and off they go. Once in a while is no big deal.

I am a bit nervous this could turn into something bigger if she decides to take offense at me saying "no more" and place a complaint. She seems very nice, but we all turn into dragons when it comes to our babies KWIM?!!

I was hoping that as her milk diminshed, she would stop the daily routine, but she has made a few comments that lead me to believe she will come by even if she doesn't feed at all.

I don't need the money, but I still hate to term a nice lady and her very cute and easy going baby! She hasn't really done anything "wrong".

Ugh! Dilemma!

Of course parents have to have ACCESS. In my program, parents have access anytime, but when they come in and leave, they must take their child.

So, in order to bypass the complaint, you simply do an addendum saying only one drop off and pick up oer day. Theyaare welcome to stop by, but when they leave, they are required to take their child.

Fixed a problem like that I was having
Reply
lovemykidstoo 02:02 PM 11-17-2013
Might be worth a call to your state rep. Does having access mean that they can come in and plant themselves for any length of time and disrupt your activities or does it simply mean that they can come and get their child at any time?
Reply
Tags:breastfeeding
Reply Up