Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Should I term? Would you?
threelittles 06:28 AM 09-22-2014
I have all girls but a little boy started 3 weeks ago. He cries every day, he doesn't really want to play with the other kids who are the same age as him, he doesn't mesh well. He is always saying things like "I don't think I like that" when we have lunch or play games or do song time (in fact he cries when I ask him to participate frequently). He is an only child but has been in daycare before so I am not sure the deal- maybe just a bad fit? Anyhow, I have interest from someone else who has a girl that is the same age as this boy and would also be full time. I'm seriously considering holding an interview and if she fits in I would consider swapping. I have never termed before. Thoughts?
Reply
Blackcat31 06:33 AM 09-22-2014
Originally Posted by threelittles:
I have all girls but a little boy started 3 weeks ago. He cries every day, he doesn't really want to play with the other kids who are the same age as him, he doesn't mesh well. He is always saying things like "I don't think I like that" when we have lunch or play games or do song time (in fact he cries when I ask him to participate frequently). He is an only child but has been in daycare before so I am not sure the deal- maybe just a bad fit? Anyhow, I have interest from someone else who has a girl that is the same age as this boy and would also be full time. I'm seriously considering holding an interview and if she fits in I would consider swapping. I have never termed before. Thoughts?
If a child is truly more miserable than they are happy, then I chalk it up to it being the wrong fit.

I give kids two weeks to adjust.....sometimes a bit longer IF I see signs of improvement making it worth while to continue trying but if I don't have anything that makes me think it's going to get better, then I just let them go.

There is a right fit for everyone so it's nothing personal.
Reply
Shell 06:39 AM 09-22-2014
It doesn't hurt to interview. I'm guessing he's having a hard time because he is the only boy? Not to gender stereotype, but I definitely see the gender difference at my daycare: the girls are content playing, coloring, and the boys want to roar like dinosaurs, race around the playroom- no one had taught them this or that is for girls/boys, but I find the energy level is just different. Do the girls include him in play? Is it something you feel you can help make him feel more welcome, or is he just not a good fit, regardless of his gender? I think it's ok to interview, but be careful, a boy can help balance a group of little ladies. I think you know how a group of girls can start to get clique-y and, "you're not my best friend" starts in
Reply
CraftyMom 07:39 AM 09-22-2014
I like to have a mix of boys and girls. Sometimes it just works out that you have all of one gender, but I wouldn't do it purposely.

If it isn't working, it just isn't working. If it has been 3 weeks and you see no improvement I'd call it a bad fit.
Reply
Soccermom 07:52 AM 09-22-2014
I always try to have at least two same gender children close in age since it makes play time a lot easier and I think it is important for little ones to have a playmate who they can really connect with (Not to say that the boys and girls don't play well together at times but girls do tend to go for the dolls and barbies as opposed to the trains and dinosaurs most of the time).

Maybe take a step back and really look at your program and space...is it more tailored to girls since you have mostly girls in your care? Have you tried adding in a few games, crafts, play areas and toys with boys in particular in mind?

Maybe give him a little more time to adjust and add in some boy themed days to see if he feels a little more upbeat about being in your care. (Trains, planes and automobiles, dinosaurs, Superheroes, firefighters and policemen or big trucks....)

You could still hold the interview and let the prospective parents know that you are giving a daycare child one more week to fit in and if things don't work out you will have an open spot.

Good luck!
Reply
MamaB'sKidz 08:13 AM 09-22-2014
Originally Posted by threelittles:
I have all girls but a little boy started 3 weeks ago. He cries every day, he doesn't really want to play with the other kids who are the same age as him, he doesn't mesh well. He is always saying things like "I don't think I like that" when we have lunch or play games or do song time (in fact he cries when I ask him to participate frequently). He is an only child but has been in daycare before so I am not sure the deal- maybe just a bad fit? Anyhow, I have interest from someone else who has a girl that is the same age as this boy and would also be full time. I'm seriously considering holding an interview and if she fits in I would consider swapping. I have never termed before. Thoughts?
If this were me I would definitely set up an interview with the new girl and her parents. I would also start talking to or even write a letter to the boys parents about his unhappiness and say maybe your just not the right daycare for him. This would kinda give them a heads up if you should term them. I think daycare should be enjoyable for every child and especially for the provider and if the DCB is that unhappy it makes for very stressful days. And you don't need that. Good luck with what you decide. I'm sure it will work out for the best.
Reply
threelittles 09:26 AM 09-22-2014
I have lots of boy toys-- lots of Thomas the train and a giant train track and train table, cars, car play may etc. He has a tough time with independent time, and never wants to play with the girls even when they play trains or whatever else. He hates music time, he doesn't color when it is coloring time. He is happy with reading time typically so that's good, but he's always saying he doesn't like it. I figured it was just adjustment but now in the third week and he doesn't like it I'm frustrated as is he I think.
Reply
KDC 09:49 AM 09-22-2014
I would interview to find a better fit, and if one became available and the situation hasn't improved then I would give a 2 weeks notice and accept the new child. Nobody likes taking the time to interview, and I definitely don't want my daycare to look like if they're not a perfect fit, then I term... but, if the child and you are miserable then it's best for both parties to find a better situation. It doesn't happen often and it'll make your life and potentially his life better. Think of the positives (Drinking your coffee while they play together and make new friends... not cover their ears and be frustrated by the crier). Good luck!
Reply
TwinKristi 10:28 AM 09-22-2014
I agree. I think you reach the point in doing daycare that you can see when a DCK just isn't a good fit and it's okay to make changes accordingly. If you couldn't afford to just term then advertise and interview for a replacement but seeing as how you may already, I would definitely interview and see how it fits.
Reply
Reply Up