Daycare.com Forum Force of Nature Disinfectant

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-21-2015, 12:20 PM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default Preschoolers in Diapers. . .

Maybe this is a California thing but I am getting more and more calls from parents with 3 year olds (some nearly 4) who are nowhere near toilet trained. Do you all have age cut offs for accepting unpotty trained kiddos or policies regarding children this age with that have parents that aren't working on it? If you have policies, and don't mind sharing, I would love to see them. I'm considering revising mine.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-21-2015, 12:27 PM
Controlled Chaos's Avatar
Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,128
Default

It would depend. I have an almost 4yo who still has poo accidents luckily he only poos at home

I would not accept a child over the age of 2 who wasn't potty trained. BUT if I am already carrying for a child who isn't fully trained until 3, I don't mind.

I just tell families who call "I only accept potty trained over the age of 2."
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-21-2015, 12:40 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by spedmommy4 View Post
Maybe this is a California thing but I am getting more and more calls from parents with 3 year olds (some nearly 4) who are nowhere near toilet trained. Do you all have age cut offs for accepting unpotty trained kiddos or policies regarding children this age with that have parents that aren't working on it? If you have policies, and don't mind sharing, I would love to see them. I'm considering revising mine.
I used to cringe when I saw 3 and 4 yr olds in diapers but as time has gone on, I've learned more about child development as well as parenting....its become clear that more parents are training according to their child's developmental needs verses just training because the child is 2.

Some kids simply aren't ready to be trained at 2 or 3 or 4 even. Like every skill a child masters in the first 5 yrs of their life, it's individualized.

I have learned that forcing a child before THEY show signs of readiness makes the process longer and tougher for everyone involved. If a child isn't started until they are demonstrating they are ready, then the process isn't really training at all as it seems to happen a bit more naturally.

However, with that being said... as a provider I do not involve myself in toilet training until near completion of the process.

Once a parent has made significant progress at home and the child has mastered certain skills in MY environment then I will start supporting the process. Until then, I play no role in it.

I will PM you my toilet training page.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 05-21-2015 at 12:46 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-21-2015, 12:44 PM
preschoolteacher's Avatar
preschoolteacher preschoolteacher is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 910
Default

I agree with BC in that I think different kids are developmentally ready a little bit later, and that current parenting trends of potty training at later ages (3, 4) are more on-par with what kids really need.

THAT BEING SAID... I would not enroll a child over 3 years old who wasn't fully potty trained.

I've had 9 kids go through potty training here in the last 2 years. The earliest was completely independent just before 2.5 years old. I had two more potty train at 2.5 years, and the other 6 all potty trained RIGHT before 3 years old. Some of the young 3 year olds are still working on it but are basically there.

Every provider should be aware of what she/he will and will not do in the job. I will not be changing the diaper of a 3+ year old who is not almost potty trained. It's not for me.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-21-2015, 01:33 PM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default

I tend to agree with Blackcat as well. That said, I have enrolled children in diapers who show all the signs of readiness and ask to use the potty here. I am sure developmental readiness plays a factor, but I feel like size 6 disposable diapers and pull ups have made the grown ups a little less motivated to work on it. Kwim?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-21-2015, 01:35 PM
Play Care's Avatar
Play Care Play Care is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 6,609
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
I agree with BC in that I think different kids are developmentally ready a little bit later, and that current parenting trends of potty training at later ages (3, 4) are more on-par with what kids really need.

THAT BEING SAID... I would not enroll a child over 3 years old who wasn't fully potty trained.

I've had 9 kids go through potty training here in the last 2 years. The earliest was completely independent just before 2.5 years old. I had two more potty train at 2.5 years, and the other 6 all potty trained RIGHT before 3 years old. Some of the young 3 year olds are still working on it but are basically there.

Every provider should be aware of what she/he will and will not do in the job. I will not be changing the diaper of a 3+ year old who is not almost potty trained. It's not for me.


This is my policy as well. I had a very odd situation years ago with an untrained 3 1/2 yo. I said never again. If they are not ready to train, fine. But I'm not the provider for them.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-21-2015, 01:35 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

My dd was trained before age 3. Most of my dck seem to be 4 when they are fully trained.

BC what skills do you require?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-21-2015, 01:44 PM
Jujube835's Avatar
Jujube835 Jujube835 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 76
Default

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-21-2015, 02:02 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post

BC what skills do you require?
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_...ew?usp=sharing

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-21-2015, 02:51 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Thank you!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-21-2015, 03:01 PM
Controlled Chaos's Avatar
Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,128
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BakerMomma View Post
I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant
I don't see how changing a poopy pull up is any better/different than changing a poopy diaper...
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-21-2015, 03:19 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by BakerMomma View Post
I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant
Pushing toilet training before a child is developmentally ready makes the process twice as long and twice as difficult. It also opens up the issue of regression and more accidents than those kids who were trained AFTER they show signs of readiness.

If you wait to train a child until they show signs of readiness, the process should really only take a couple days max. and the rate of regression and/or accidents is almost none.

Also, like Controlled Chaos mentioned, how is changing a 3 yr olds pull up any better than changing a diaper?
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-21-2015, 03:36 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

I agree with this 100%...but i do have to say this....i think a lot of kids these days really know how to manipulate their parents from a very young age, so they tend to normally run the show.

I have a just turned 3 year old dcg that tell her parents which direction to park her car each day and which direction to leave from my front door so the dcg can stand and wave to dcm as she leaves. she tells her parents what to do non-stop and the parents do it because they don't want to listen to her cry.

I also just posted about a 4 yr old who the parents said he is too young to take a hearing test, because he just didn't want to have to listen to the doctor...LOL. yup true story.

I agree that it has to be when the child is ready, but i do think that many parents are missing the window of opportunity to train and instead they create a harder habit to break.

my dcp that have routines and schedules for their kids and are the ones in charge have the kids that potty train before age 3

the ones that the children run the show, I see those kids in diapers sometimes until almost 5.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-21-2015, 03:49 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 05-21-2015, 04:02 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.
obviously, if there is a medical condition, then I would see no reason in not taking the child on. The child can't help it.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 05-21-2015, 04:04 PM
NightOwl's Avatar
NightOwl NightOwl is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,716
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.
I'm not familiar with this. Could you elaborate?

I have never had a normally developing child to go past 4 and not be potty trained. I have seen children go up to 5 and 6 if they also had other areas of delay.

I agree some children yank their parents' chains. My own nephew came to me at almost 4 and still wearing pull ups, which he readily used at home every day. I told him the very first day, after I got that pull up off and put undies on him, that HE would be cleaning up any "accidents" he had here. He said EWWWWW!! You know how many accidents he had here? ZERO. At home? Daily accidents. My sister is a slacker and tends to do whatever requires the least amount of effort, and I knew this was why he still wore pull ups.

I don't allow pull ups here at all for potty training. They're diapers, plain and simple. We go straight to underwear or those super thick, absorbent underwear, but no pull ups.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 05-21-2015, 04:28 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

My understanding/experience with encopresis is that it's when a child is withholding BMs, leading to constipation and massive blockage, and eventually small amounts of fecal matter leak out into the child's underwear/pull-up. It hurts to go, so the child resists going,and it just creates a vicious cycle. Eventually the bowel muscles get very loose, so the child can't really hold it in, and loses the sensation of feeling like he/she has to go the bathroom. From speaking with our pediatrician and gastroenterologist, it's somewhat of a behavioral issue at first, but then turns into more of a physical condition due to the chronic constipation. Sometimes big changes in a child's life can play a role, in my sons case, my husband was diagnosed with a terminal neurological condition and had to move to a nursing home when our son was 3, so not sure if that could have played a role (a control struggle), one doctor believes it did, but I'm not really sure. Eventually the doctor had us do a cleanse with laxatives (at home, and of course I kept him home from daycare for a few days) when an X-ray revealed he was incredibly blocked up. We then had to give him miralax daily (still do per our pediatrician's instructions), and after being on miralax a little over a month, the "accidents/leakage" went away. But I still have to remind him to sit on the potty daily and try to go, he's been doing great and with his daycares permission we stopped pull-ups and went to underwear when he'd been accident free a couple weeks. It's been 6 months now, so it's hopefully behind us!

Interestingly enough, I stumbled onto this site when my son was diagnosed with encopresis and I was googling it to learn more about it! I pop on ever so often and like around, it's been helpful to see situations from daycare providers' points of view, my son goes to a center as I don't have anyone to provide backup care, so a home daycare wouldn't be a good fit for us.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 05-21-2015, 04:31 PM
Febby's Avatar
Febby Febby is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 484
Default

In one of my trainings a while back, our trainer told us that part of the reason children are potty training later is because they're not getting as many chances to develop motor skills as they used to. Infants are spending more time in restrictive equipment (swings, bouncy seats, etc.) and less time on the floor. Additionally, a lot of children (including some infants!) get more screen time than they used to. And all of that, according to this trainer, delays motor development which delays potty training.

I haven't actually been able to find the research she kept referring to though... (Not that I really need a reason to not have a bunch of screen time)
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 05-21-2015, 05:52 PM
Jujube835's Avatar
Jujube835 Jujube835 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 76
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos View Post
I don't see how changing a poopy pull up is any better/different than changing a poopy diaper...

I'm not changing a poopy anything. The pull-ups are for an extra layer of security, just incase they have an accident. The kids sit on the potty every hour and if they show any signs of needing a potty in between those hourly visits then they sit on the potty then as well. I reeeeeally do not believe that a child older than 2 needs a diaper. In my experience with my own kids, my experience in the center I worked at, and with the daycare kids I have now, I've never met a child that can't be potty trained by their 3rd birthday IF the parent is willing to put in the work.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 05-21-2015, 06:01 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Day care dad

I don't know.......20 years ago I never heard of a child over three that wasn't trained-ever. 15 to 20 years ago All my child care kids trained easily around age 2 1/2.

Pull ups seem to have caused a more drawn out process. Also, When children wore cloth diapers training was also easier because children felt uncomfortable. Parents were more motivated to get their child out of diapers before disposables came on the seen too.

We are a wealthy country. In third world countries with few resources-especially water for cleaning cloth diapers, children are trained much earlier without problems.

The trend has shifted, parents are busier and busier, we have pull ups...all of a sudden in the last ten years kids are just not developmentally ready, where before that they easily trained sometime during the second year.

I think it's a trend, not that kids aren't ready earlier. Kids run the show in lots of households. I see lots of parents afraid to parent.

I know in some instances it's medical. That's a different story.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 05-21-2015, 06:02 PM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.
I have a daughter with the same condition. She is 10 now and it is still a struggle. Thus far, I have determined whether or not I would accept the child on a case by case basis. But . . . I have one too many enrolled parents who just aren't noticing their little ones readiness and/or are not motivated to work on potty training.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 05-21-2015, 06:18 PM
Jujube835's Avatar
Jujube835 Jujube835 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 76
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Pushing toilet training before a child is developmentally ready makes the process twice as long and twice as difficult. It also opens up the issue of regression and more accidents than those kids who were trained AFTER they show signs of readiness.

If you wait to train a child until they show signs of readiness, the process should really only take a couple days max. and the rate of regression and/or accidents is almost none.

Also, like Controlled Chaos mentioned, how is changing a 3 yr olds pull up any better than changing a diaper?

I absolutely agree with you. I would never push a child that wasn't ready. But, every child (barring a medical condition, of course) should be developmentally ready to potty train by 3. There's no excuse. I believe that this trend is a result of parental laziness (that sounds harsh, I know) rather than the children's genuine lack of readiness.


In that same respect, I do take these kids to the potty every hour. And yes, it takes longer than a couple days to potty train them. BUT they are potty trained at 2.5 as opposed to waiting "until they show signs" at 4 years old. I'd rather put in the effort at 2.5 and take the two weeks to train them, than wait until 4 and only have to train for a couple days. Even at 2.5 years old, theres no trauma, no tears, and no kids being shamed or guilted.


Basically what I'm saying is this: Its not that they aren't ready to train at 2.5. They ARE ready, they just need an adult to give them lots of opportunities and reminders. But like I said, I don't mind the extra work if it means I can escape an additional 1.5 years of diapers. Does that make sense?
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 05-21-2015, 06:19 PM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I agree with this 100%...but i do have to say this....i think a lot of kids these days really know how to manipulate their parents from a very young age, so they tend to normally run the show.

I have a just turned 3 year old dcg that tell her parents which direction to park her car each day and which direction to leave from my front door so the dcg can stand and wave to dcm as she leaves. she tells her parents what to do non-stop and the parents do it because they don't want to listen to her cry.

I also just posted about a 4 yr old who the parents said he is too young to take a hearing test, because he just didn't want to have to listen to the doctor...LOL. yup true story.

I agree that it has to be when the child is ready, but i do think that many parents are missing the window of opportunity to train and instead they create a harder habit to break.

my dcp that have routines and schedules for their kids and are the ones in charge have the kids that potty train before age 3

the ones that the children run the show, I see those kids in diapers sometimes until almost 5.
Hey, I think we have the same kid. My 3.5 year old that "can't" be potty trained also "can't" give up the sippy cup. He also recently tricked me into thinking he was sick. I called his mom and when mom picked up, he told her "I'm not sick, I want to go to nana's house." Guess who got to go to nana's? And . . . my little friend has been trying the same trick that got him sent home every single day for a week. Fool me once . . . lol
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 05-21-2015, 06:22 PM
Jujube835's Avatar
Jujube835 Jujube835 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 76
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I don't know.......20 years ago I never heard of a child over three that wasn't trained-ever. 15 to 20 years ago All my child care kids trained easily around age 2 1/2.

The trend has shifted, parents are busier and busier, we have pull ups...all of a sudden in the last ten years kids are just not developmentally ready, where before that they easily trained sometime during the second year.

I think it's a trend, not that kids aren't ready earlier. Kids run the show in lots of households. I see lots of parents afraid to parent.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 05-22-2015, 02:47 AM
childcaremom's Avatar
childcaremom childcaremom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,969
Default

I would not accept a child over 3 who isn't potty trained. If they are already in my care and not trained, fine.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 05-22-2015, 06:23 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

I am surprised at how many of you feel potty training is like a "trick" you teach a child verses a developmental milestone that comes at an individual time NOT at a chronological age.

Just as you cannot force a child to be taller, you cannot force a child to have bladder control until his/her body has developed the ability to control it.

It is physically NOT possible.

Yes, you can spend hours of your day, days of your weeks and weeks out of your month bringing a child to the toilet at time intervals. Eventually they are going to pee in the potty. A newborn would as well if you held them over the toilet every 30 minutes but that is in NO WAY trained.

I agree that a lot of parents allow their child to "run the show" or that parents miss the window to train but toilet training isn't a discipline issue or parenting issue and it saddens me to see so many providers feel it is. I think this is an area that parents really need to research when putting their child in a care environment.

As parent, I would steer clear of a program that simply thought my child was ready for something simply based on their age verses their individual abilities and maturity levels. Potty training is like teething. There are guidelines as to when the first tooth erupts and when the last tooth comes in but those aren't rules. You can't force a child to grow a tooth any more than you can force them to control their bladders.

There are two things we can never control.

What they eat.

When it comes out.

Don't engage in this battle. The emotional trauma to a child can leave scars for their lifetime (irritable bowel syndrome, encopresis and a host of other issues).

Yes, in generations past kids were trained at an early age but they weren't "trained" they were forced and often times ridiculed, punished, humiliated and bribed to perform. In some cases, the process was long, exhausting, messy and emotionally inappropriate and/or traumatizing.

The argument that previous generations did "X" so we should too is silly...

.....we used to ride in cars with out safety belts too, we used to put children that were mentally challenged in institutions, we used to punish kids for being left handed and forced them to use their right hands, we used to put babies to sleep on their tummies only, we used to smoke/drink alcohol during pregnancy, we used to use DDT pesticides, we used to play with liquid mercury, we used to use asbestos in insulation, we used to.....

We used to do lots of things....but now we know better.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 05-22-2015, 08:25 AM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

but if all the research shows that sphincter muscles are fully developed between 12-24 months with the average age of maturity of 18months, why are kids still in diapers at age 3-4 years old.

Yes i understand that the child needs to be ready needing the motor skills, verbal, emotional and social as well as congnitive, but I really do think that potty training these days is delayed because of SOME parents.

I can't tell you how many interviews or phone calls i get of parents asking:

DO YOU GUYS POTTY TRAIN??? Of course i tell them i won't do it for them but will assist. I have had honest parents tell me oh, ok and hang up. Others tell me they don't have time to do it and that's why they are looking for a childcare for their child.


I really do see that many parents have made PT a battle/behavior issue for their child. If I could only tell you the stories of what parents have done to potty train their child.

I firmly believe in waiting until they are ready to PT, but I also think that a lot of parents don't want to invest the time and commitment it takes to do it.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 05-22-2015, 08:37 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Both my kids did not go on the potty until 3.5. You could call me lazy, but I just didn't want to make going to the bathroom a challenge. Around 3, I would start talking about the potty and wearing big kid underwear and just sort of throw it out there if they wanted to give it a try. One day, my son said he wanted to try and he went, so I put him in underwear and said, next time you feel the need, remember you have underwear on, so you need to go to the potty. The first time, he wet his underwear, so we put new ones and I told him to try for next time. Next time, he said, "I need to go pee!" and sprinted to the bathroom and made it. He is almost 6 and has never had an accident since. We did underwear at night too, with no issues, so all in all, it took him one day to be potty trained (technically a few hours). My daughter is 3.5 and has been potty trained for 3 months now. Same situtation except she has not had a single accident and sleeps in underwear at night with no problem. I don't believe in putting an age limit on potty training. I think it can make kids nervous and make parents stressed if it doesn't work out. This can lead to much longer term issues with the potty. My niece is an example. Sister started at 2 yeaars old and she is almost 3 and still having multiple "accidents" each day. Some may be ready at 2, but I find that just waiting it out seems to be easiest, imo.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 05-22-2015, 08:45 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
but if all the research shows that sphincter muscles are fully developed between 12-24 months with the average age of maturity of 18months, why are kids still in diapers at age 3-4 years old.

Yes i understand that the child needs to be ready needing the motor skills, verbal, emotional and social as well as congnitive, but I really do think that potty training these days is delayed because of SOME parents.

I can't tell you how many interviews or phone calls i get of parents asking:

DO YOU GUYS POTTY TRAIN??? Of course i tell them i won't do it for them but will assist. I have had honest parents tell me oh, ok and hang up. Others tell me they don't have time to do it and that's why they are looking for a childcare for their child.


I really do see that many parents have made PT a battle/behavior issue for their child. If I could only tell you the stories of what parents have done to potty train their child.

I firmly believe in waiting until they are ready to PT, but I also think that a lot of parents don't want to invest the time and commitment it takes to do it.
Maturity of the anal and bladder sphincter's is only ONE part of a multi-facet process.

Along WITH sphincter maturity a child must posses maturity and/or ability in several other areas as well.

Emotional
Verbal
Cognitive
Motor
Social

Again, just because a child is physiologically ready to be potty trained does not mean that she/he has the other skills required.

It's just like any other age. MORE than ONE skill is required and the amount of time it takes to master ALL those skills and the time in which it takes to do that cannot be narrowed down to a specific age. Stating kids are ready to be trained at 18-24 months is simply untrue and unfair to every single child out there that didn't get their first tooth right at 6 months or didn't take their first step at 12 months.

We all know that window of time is MUCH larger than what is suggested as "average".

Maturity of their bodies can't be pushed or hurried. It ALL comes in time.

Allowing kids to have sippy cups until they are 5 or allowing children to eat nasty diets or not having a schedule for eat, sleep and play will definitely have an impact on the training process but those things are changeable influences....they aren't biological.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 05-22-2015, 08:49 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Both my kids did not go on the potty until 3.5. You could call me lazy, but I just didn't want to make going to the bathroom a challenge. Around 3, I would start talking about the potty and wearing big kid underwear and just sort of throw it out there if they wanted to give it a try. One day, my son said he wanted to try and he went, so I put him in underwear and said, next time you feel the need, remember you have underwear on, so you need to go to the potty. The first time, he wet his underwear, so we put new ones and I told him to try for next time. Next time, he said, "I need to go pee!" and sprinted to the bathroom and made it. He is almost 6 and has never had an accident since. We did underwear at night too, with no issues, so all in all, it took him one day to be potty trained (technically a few hours). My daughter is 3.5 and has been potty trained for 3 months now. Same situtation except she has not had a single accident and sleeps in underwear at night with no problem. I don't believe in putting an age limit on potty training. I think it can make kids nervous and make parents stressed if it doesn't work out. This can lead to much longer term issues with the potty. My niece is an example. Sister started at 2 yeaars old and she is almost 3 and still having multiple "accidents" each day. Some may be ready at 2, but I find that just waiting it out seems to be easiest, imo.
BINGO!! Kid was ready. Kid pretty much took care of it himself. No stress, no bribing, no interval training......

Toilet training shouldn't be a month long process... it really should only take a couple days before being totally trained. But ONLY if ALL the required needs have been met.

This is child-led. Nice example.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 05-22-2015, 08:55 AM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Maturity of the anal and bladder sphincter's is only ONE part of a multi-facet process.

Along WITH sphincter maturity a child must posses maturity and/or ability in several other areas as well.

Emotional
Verbal
Cognitive
Motor
Social

Again, just because a child is physiologically ready to be potty trained does not mean that she/he has the other skills required.

It's just like any other age. MORE than ONE skill is required and the amount of time it takes to master ALL those skills and the time in which it takes to do that cannot be narrowed down to a specific age. Stating kids are ready to be trained at 18-24 months is simply untrue and unfair to every single child out there that didn't get their first tooth right at 6 months or didn't take their first step at 12 months.

We all know that window of time is MUCH larger than what is suggested as "average".

Maturity of their bodies can't be pushed or hurried. It ALL comes in time.

Allowing kids to have sippy cups until they are 5 or allowing children to eat nasty diets or not having a schedule for eat, sleep and play will definitely have an impact on the training process but those things are changeable influences....they aren't biological.
I agree with you, but I don't agree that kids are being left in diapers at the age of 3-4.

I don't want to start a great debate about this, but the USA one of the only countries that practice the method of leaving a child in diapers until this late of an age.

I am a firm believer that a child can be taught to do almost anything if we take the time and guide them. If they are not ready, that's ok, we can stop and try again at a later time.

All of my kids rode a bike without trainers by the time they were 2
All of my kids were pt by the time they were 2.5
All of my kids did not take a bottle, by 8 months
All of my kids ate with proper tableware by age 12months

My sister was the same with her own kids.
I am not saying this makes us better parents, i am saying that it happened because we took the time to teach them and didn't limit their abilities.

I believe that a child does something when they have been taught and they are ready. NOt because they are a certain age.
not everyone is going to want to wait 3 years to PT.

when we miss that window of opportunity, it's not the end of the world, but we are keeping them in diapers and helping them to for a habit of using a diaper instead of encouraging them to use the toilet. i see it no different than the encouraging I do to have them read books.

Last edited by daycare; 05-22-2015 at 08:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 05-22-2015, 09:02 AM
NightOwl's Avatar
NightOwl NightOwl is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,716
Default

I understand what you're saying BC and I agree that starting too early only creates a battle zone, but where's the line in the sand? My nephew, for example. He had the bladder control, the verbal skills, the over all maturity, yet he was pushing 4 when he finally trained. And he did it because I told him he would be cleaning himself up, not me. He was clearly yanking his mom's chain about this. He could've easily been trained a full year earlier had she taken some initiative and read the signs.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 05-22-2015, 09:14 AM
mommyneedsadayoff's Avatar
mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
BINGO!! Kid was ready. Kid pretty much took care of it himself. No stress, no bribing, no interval training......

Toilet training shouldn't be a month long process... it really should only take a couple days before being totally trained. But ONLY if ALL the required needs have been met.

This is child-led. Nice example.
Thanks BC! That was my post, just keep forgetting to log in And considering I rarely ever get to go to the bathroom alone anymore, they had plenty of examples of bathrooms behavior, so they just sort of naturally became curious. When I first became a mom, I felt stressed about the whole potty issue, which is why I decided to just take it off my list of things to worry about. I think new parents get worried though, because the push for potty training by 2 is a big hurdle to deal with for many parents and they feel so much pressure, which I am sure gets passed off to the child. It is kind of funny, though, because like with my sister, she started at 2 years old and it has not been going well, but she would always ask me if I had started yet, and I would just say "not yet" and shrug and I think she thought I was nuts The funny part is that I am super strict about discipline, approprite social behavior, manners, ect, which my sister is NOT, but making sure her 2 year old is potty trained is of super importance! I am like, "my niece is throwing toys at my dog, so maybe we should focus more on appropraite behavior than on the potty". Seems like that is becoming more common, though. New parents are so much more worried about potty training at a young age than they are about teaching their children how to act in public, how to accomplish basic skills, like cleaning up after themsleves, basic manners and how to respect other people and not hit, kick, or bite, ect. I guess I feel the opposite. They will figure out the potty training stuff, but if you don't establish those other basic skills and behaviors from a young age, it will only get more and more difficult as they get older. Just my two cents
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 05-22-2015, 09:20 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NessaRose View Post
I understand what you're saying BC and I agree that starting too early only creates a battle zone, but where's the line in the sand? My nephew, for example. He had the bladder control, the verbal skills, the over all maturity, yet he was pushing 4 when he finally trained. And he did it because I told him he would be cleaning himself up, not me. He was clearly yanking his mom's chain about this. He could've easily been trained a full year earlier had she taken some initiative and read the signs.
I am not disagreeing with this concept (I know lazy parenting delays the process) but 'parents that don't really parent' is a completely different topic and has nothing to do with physical development.

I could be THE perfect parent. Doing everything right. Guiding and disciplining my child, setting up good eating and sleeping routines and all the other things "perfect" parents do but it will have NO effect whatsoever on when the child acquires the skills necessary to be trained.

In my opinion, only a SMALL percentage of kids still in diapers at an older age is due to lazy parenting.

The rest is developmental....nature NOT nurture.

We cannot control 'nature'.

We can impact 'nurture' but it is still only part of a bigger picture.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 05-22-2015, 09:28 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
Thanks BC! That was my post, just keep forgetting to log in And considering I rarely ever get to go to the bathroom alone anymore, they had plenty of examples of bathrooms behavior, so they just sort of naturally became curious. When I first became a mom, I felt stressed about the whole potty issue, which is why I decided to just take it off my list of things to worry about. I think new parents get worried though, because the push for potty training by 2 is a big hurdle to deal with for many parents and they feel so much pressure, which I am sure gets passed off to the child. It is kind of funny, though, because like with my sister, she started at 2 years old and it has not been going well, but she would always ask me if I had started yet, and I would just say "not yet" and shrug and I think she thought I was nuts The funny part is that I am super strict about discipline, approprite social behavior, manners, ect, which my sister is NOT, but making sure her 2 year old is potty trained is of super importance! I am like, "my niece is throwing toys at my dog, so maybe we should focus more on appropraite behavior than on the potty". Seems like that is becoming more common, though. New parents are so much more worried about potty training at a young age than they are about teaching their children how to act in public, how to accomplish basic skills, like cleaning up after themsleves, basic manners and how to respect other people and not hit, kick, or bite, ect. I guess I feel the opposite. They will figure out the potty training stuff, YES! but if you don't establish those other basic skills and behaviors from a young age, it will only get more and more difficult as they get older. Just my two cents
I agree! I think the underlined part is what "Daycare" is trying to say but like you just said....the training part is on them (the child).....WHEN they are ready. That is what I think some posters are confused about. Two different topics. Related (as all childhood things are) but two totally different things.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 05-22-2015, 09:42 AM
laundrymom's Avatar
laundrymom laundrymom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,222
Default

I don't mind. My policy specifically states that
I do not push to potty learn. That children will learn faster when they are developmentally able to do it and no amount of coaxing is going to help them potty learn (I do not use the word train. They learn it. I don't train them) and faster. I promise that barring a medical issue they will learn to potty before prom.

Of course, when they are physically able to GET themselves on toilet, they go when the rest of the group does.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 05-22-2015, 10:23 AM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default

Here is the current research from the American Academy of Pediatrics, if anyone is interested.

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/1101/p1059.html

I found a few things interesting. The research says that the US is one of the few countries where the average age of potty training is going up. It cites availability of disposable diapers and family work schedules as factors. It also says that most kids attain all developmental readiness skills is 25 months.

In my professional experience, family participation is a huge factor. I worked with families in their homes as a parent trainer for 6 years. 100% of the families I worked with asked about potty training and only about 75% ended up actively working on it. Parents are busy and I see adaptive skills taking the biggest hit. (Toilet training, dressing, using an open cup, etc) The adaptive skills seem to fall by the wayside and I spend a lot of time working on them here.

There are other factors at play for some kids, but my primary concern is that if I don't set any guidelines, I will be lifting typically developing 5 year olds up onto the changing table.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 05-22-2015, 10:36 AM
Crazy8's Avatar
Crazy8 Crazy8 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 2,769
Default

I agree with BC - the process is MUCH easier when a child has all the readiness signs and I would never push a child due to their age BUT I also think "lazy parenting" contributes to a lot of children who COULD be trained with a little guidance from their parents who just don't want to put in the effort. I had a parent ask me for PT advice and I mentioned staying home for a few days to really focus on it (meaning not going out to stores, etc. - not staying home from daycare) and she said she was going to give it a try over a long weekend. Well came in the following week and said her husband thought it was ridiculous to STAY HOME all weekend so they didn't bother. They basically just wanted me to do it M-F and then they could just take over for 2-3 hours a night they were home with the child.
I generally see the opposite in my care though, of parents who want to push training too early because the child is so big or they have a new baby coming, etc. and that can really delay the process of what should only take a few days when a child is ready.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 05-22-2015, 10:40 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by spedmommy4 View Post
Here is the current research from the American Academy of Pediatrics, if anyone is interested.

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/1101/p1059.html

I found a few things interesting. The research says that the US is one of the few countries where the average age of potty training is going up. It cites availability of disposable diapers and family work schedules as factors. It also says that most kids attain all developmental readiness skills is 25 months.

In my professional experience, family participation is a huge factor. I worked with families in their homes as a parent trainer for 6 years. 100% of the families I worked with asked about potty training and only about 75% ended up actively working on it. Parents are busy and I see adaptive skills taking the biggest hit. (Toilet training, dressing, using an open cup, etc) The adaptive skills seem to fall by the wayside and I spend a lot of time working on them here.

There are other factors at play for some kids, but my primary concern is that if I don't set any guidelines, I will be lifting typically developing 5 year olds up onto the changing table.
Thanks for the link...it supports what I was/am trying to say:

*Newer studies suggest no benefit of intensive training before 27 months of age.

*Mastery of the developmental skills required for toilet training occurs after 24 months of age


So AFTER a child turns 27 months, they should be easily trained without much intervention or fanfare from the caregiver.

However, IF the child does not have the developmental skills necessary (due to lazy parents or not being taught or for whatever reason...) BY 27 months, the learning process will be difficult and time consuming for all.

So according to what the AAP says, toilet learning can begin at about 27 months (give or take like any other age recommendation).
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 05-22-2015, 11:28 AM
Kabob's Avatar
Kabob Kabob is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,105
Default

When I was young, I wet my bed until I was about 8. I was ashamed of it and of course didn't do it on purpose. My mom acted like I did do it on purpose and actively shamed me for it. It made me afraid to sleep over anywhere and I remember my mom making me read books on holding my bladder at night. I had no clue what she was talking about. I just would wake up wet. Then one day I suddenly started waking up when I needed to go. That's it. I don't wet my bed anymore.

My ds is 3.5 and still not going on the toilet regularly. He'll try but he just isn't verbalizing anything...he only recently started to tell me when he pooped his diaper. Underwear just scares him. He actually didn't start talking until after he was 2 due to medical reasons...and he still is working on speaking clearly in sentences and struggles with understanding directions sometimes.

So, I decided to not force the issue since he still is mastering other important things...like talking. I feel bad when my family gives me grief over it but trust me...I tried to push him and it did me no good...lesson learned...I can't make a child poop.
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 05-22-2015, 11:55 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kabob View Post
When I was young, I wet my bed until I was about 8. I was ashamed of it and of course didn't do it on purpose. My mom acted like I did do it on purpose and actively shamed me for it. It made me afraid to sleep over anywhere and I remember my mom making me read books on holding my bladder at night. I had no clue what she was talking about. I just would wake up wet. Then one day I suddenly started waking up when I needed to go. That's it. I don't wet my bed anymore.

My ds is 3.5 and still not going on the toilet regularly. He'll try but he just isn't verbalizing anything...he only recently started to tell me when he pooped his diaper. Underwear just scares him. He actually didn't start talking until after he was 2 due to medical reasons...and he still is working on speaking clearly in sentences and struggles with understanding directions sometimes.

So, I decided to not force the issue since he still is mastering other important things...like talking. I feel bad when my family gives me grief over it but trust me...I tried to push him and it did me no good...lesson learned...I can't make a child poop.
May I ask you a question? My sister's nephew is 13 and wets the bed almost every night. They have taken him to the doctor and there is no medical reason for this. His mom is the sort that gets mad and has probably shamed him for it (I think they started PT when he was 2 or 3), so I am not sure if she has really helped the situation, so much as she has made it worse. She tells him he has to clean it up, but doesn't follow through, so their basement reeks like urine. This is also an issue for his sister who is 9, but not quite as bad. They have tried an alarm to wake him up at night, but he sleeps like the dead, and quite honestly, I think they are too lazy to get up and go wake him up to go. I feel bad for him, though, because he won't spend the night with his friends and it is definitely effecting his social life. Any advice on how to handle this? I dobt his mom will listen but maybe I can offer some hints in a subtle way. It is just so out of hand at this point, that I am really worried about it and he is not even my family!
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:03 PM
laundrymom's Avatar
laundrymom laundrymom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,222
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
May I ask you a question? My sister's nephew is 13 and wets the bed almost every night. They have taken him to the doctor and there is no medical reason for this. His mom is the sort that gets mad and has probably shamed him for it (I think they started PT when he was 2 or 3), so I am not sure if she has really helped the situation, so much as she has made it worse. She tells him he has to clean it up, but doesn't follow through, so their basement reeks like urine. This is also an issue for his sister who is 9, but not quite as bad. They have tried an alarm to wake him up at night, but he sleeps like the dead, and quite honestly, I think they are too lazy to get up and go wake him up to go. I feel bad for him, though, because he won't spend the night with his friends and it is definitely effecting his social life. Any advice on how to handle this? I dobt his mom will listen but maybe I can offer some hints in a subtle way. It is just so out of hand at this point, that I am really worried about it and he is not even my family!

My nephew from a previous marriage wasn't learned until 9 or 10. They purchased adult diapers for him after asking him how he would like to deal with the issue. "ISSUE" not "PROBLEM"
He chose to wear a diaper instead of having a messy bed. It is discrete and made him responsible for the upkeep. No one pressured him. No one outside a small group of friends and family knew. He would spend the night. And take a zip bag for wet dipe with him and bring it home to discard. He eventually gained control.
I can almost promise you, no child does it on purpose. Not at these ages.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:09 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
My nephew from a previous marriage wasn't learned until 9 or 10. They purchased adult diapers for him after asking him how he would like to deal with the issue. "ISSUE" not "PROBLEM"
He chose to wear a diaper instead of having a messy bed. It is discrete and made him responsible for the upkeep. No one pressured him. No one outside a small group of friends and family knew. He would spend the night. And take a zip bag for wet dipe with him and bring it home to discard. He eventually gained control.
I can almost promise you, no child does it on purpose. Not at these ages.
Thank you for your response! I think they did the adult diaper thing too, but there was this bid debate over whether that was enabling him or helping him, so I am not sure if they still use them. I really don't know what to think, but I definitely know he is not doing it on purpose. He is very embarassed about it. I just wish there was a miricale cure for it, because it is so tough to be a teenager as it is, let alone to have this issue. Hopefully, he can work it out soon and have one less thing on his plate as he goes through junior/high school.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:11 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

my sister wet utnil teen years due to having an underdeveloped bladder.

we didn't joke about it then, but we do now. her license plate frame says outta my way I gotta pee.... to this day she has issues and gets up nightly to go to the bathroom. on road trips she dehydrates herself.

perhaps TMI, but she even mastered going into a bottle so we didn't have to pull roadside every hour for her to go...lol

I do think that if you shame a child you will only make more unnecessary issue for them throughout their life. My sister was thankful that my parents didn't make a deal out of it, it was not her fault.

My own son, oldest slept so hard he couldn't wake up to pee at night and wet his bed until he was 12. I started setting his alarm around 2 am to get him up to go and eventually it stopped him from wetting the bed. Oh goodness he will kill me if he knew i put this out on the internet...lol its been a huge family secret....until now...lol
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:20 PM
laundrymom's Avatar
laundrymom laundrymom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,222
Default

He will die if it's malicious. Not to help another child. I'm sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
my sister wet utnil teen years due to having an underdeveloped bladder.

we didn't joke about it then, but we do now. her license plate frame says outta my way I gotta pee.... to this day she has issues and gets up nightly to go to the bathroom. on road trips she dehydrates herself.

perhaps TMI, but she even mastered going into a bottle so we didn't have to pull roadside every hour for her to go...lol

I do think that if you shame a child you will only make more unnecessary issue for them throughout their life. My sister was thankful that my parents didn't make a deal out of it, it was not her fault.

My own son, oldest slept so hard he couldn't wake up to pee at night and wet his bed until he was 12. I started setting his alarm around 2 am to get him up to go and eventually it stopped him from wetting the bed. Oh goodness he will kill me if he knew i put this out on the internet...lol its been a huge family secret....until now...lol
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:28 PM
Crystal's Avatar
Crystal Crystal is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,955
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
May I ask you a question? My sister's nephew is 13 and wets the bed almost every night. They have taken him to the doctor and there is no medical reason for this. His mom is the sort that gets mad and has probably shamed him for it (I think they started PT when he was 2 or 3), so I am not sure if she has really helped the situation, so much as she has made it worse. She tells him he has to clean it up, but doesn't follow through, so their basement reeks like urine. This is also an issue for his sister who is 9, but not quite as bad. They have tried an alarm to wake him up at night, but he sleeps like the dead, and quite honestly, I think they are too lazy to get up and go wake him up to go. I feel bad for him, though, because he won't spend the night with his friends and it is definitely effecting his social life. Any advice on how to handle this? I dobt his mom will listen but maybe I can offer some hints in a subtle way. It is just so out of hand at this point, that I am really worried about it and he is not even my family!
It is possible that the hormone that tells your bladder not to express urine is underactive. This happened with two of my children. The doctor prescribed a nasal spray hormone called Desmopressin to use at bed time. Instantly the bed wetting stopped. He had us stop using it every three months to see if the wetting returned. It did a couple of times, but in time their hormones kicked in and they no longer needed the meds.

There are also little "alarms" that can be attached to their clothing that will signal when they start wetting the bed. This will wake them up and help them start recognizing the feeling of needing to use the toilet when they are sleeping.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:33 PM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default

Oh of course, I didn't start with any of mine until after two. My oldest was toilet trained by just under three. The next two were 2.5ish. I started with my daughter at 2.5 but she had developmental delays that were later diagnosed as Autism. We never pushed and she wasn't fully trained until the end of Kindergarten.

I have several enrolled now that will be 4 by the end of this year. All have high income parents that pushed academics so these kids are super smart, but they are woefully behind in self-help skills. We work on it here but it is a worrisome trend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Thanks for the link...it supports what I was/am trying to say:

*Newer studies suggest no benefit of intensive training before 27 months of age.

*Mastery of the developmental skills required for toilet training occurs after 24 months of age


So AFTER a child turns 27 months, they should be easily trained without much intervention or fanfare from the caregiver.

However, IF the child does not have the developmental skills necessary (due to lazy parents or not being taught or for whatever reason...) BY 27 months, the learning process will be difficult and time consuming for all.

So according to what the AAP says, toilet learning can begin at about 27 months (give or take like any other age recommendation).
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 05-22-2015, 02:20 PM
Kabob's Avatar
Kabob Kabob is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,105
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoachingForQualityImprovement View Post
It is possible that the hormone that tells your bladder not to express urine is underactive. This happened with two of my children. The doctor prescribed a nasal spray hormone called Desmopressin to use at bed time. Instantly the bed wetting stopped. He had us stop using it every three months to see if the wetting returned. It did a couple of times, but in time their hormones kicked in and they no longer needed the meds.

There are also little "alarms" that can be attached to their clothing that will signal when they start wetting the bed. This will wake them up and help them start recognizing the feeling of needing to use the toilet when they are sleeping.
Huh that's interesting. In my case, bed wetting was definitely a family thing. My mom, my mom's sister, and my mom's mom all wet the bed until they were 8-10 yo. It would seem genetics of some sort are involved.

I just never woke up until I was older. I used to be ashamed of it until I realized that I legitimately had no idea I was doing it...
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 05-22-2015, 03:40 PM
Starburst's Avatar
Starburst Starburst is offline
Provider in Training
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,410
Default

They tend to go to home daycares (especially if they offer preschool or some type of group education) because most centers/preschools require that kids are 100% potty trained before entering the program.

The last family I babysat for in CA the 3 year old boy would go #2 on the potty but often #1 in his diaper/pull up. The mom (SAHM) was looking for preschools for him to socialize (I was moving but she really wanted me to open my daycare there because she assumed he would be automatically accepted and I guess she assumed I would have a 100% peanut free program, which no child care programs in that small town were) and they all required he be potty trained.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 05-22-2015, 06:05 PM
jenboo's Avatar
jenboo jenboo is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Planet earth
Posts: 3,155
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Thank you for your response! I think they did the adult diaper thing too, but there was this bid debate over whether that was enabling him or helping him, so I am not sure if they still use them. I really don't know what to think, but I definitely know he is not doing it on purpose. He is very embarassed about it. I just wish there was a miricale cure for it, because it is so tough to be a teenager as it is, let alone to have this issue. Hopefully, he can work it out soon and have one less thing on his plate as he goes through junior/high school.
My brother wet the bed until his teens. He ended up getting a pill from the Dr that he would take at bedtime and it kept him from peeing the bed. No idea what it was. A couple years later and he didn't need the pill anymore.
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 05-22-2015, 07:48 PM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,520
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Both my kids did not go on the potty until 3.5. You could call me lazy, but I just didn't want to make going to the bathroom a challenge. Around 3, I would start talking about the potty and wearing big kid underwear and just sort of throw it out there if they wanted to give it a try. One day, my son said he wanted to try and he went, so I put him in underwear and said, next time you feel the need, remember you have underwear on, so you need to go to the potty. The first time, he wet his underwear, so we put new ones and I told him to try for next time. Next time, he said, "I need to go pee!" and sprinted to the bathroom and made it. He is almost 6 and has never had an accident since. We did underwear at night too, with no issues, so all in all, it took him one day to be potty trained (technically a few hours). My daughter is 3.5 and has been potty trained for 3 months now. Same situtation except she has not had a single accident and sleeps in underwear at night with no problem. I don't believe in putting an age limit on potty training. I think it can make kids nervous and make parents stressed if it doesn't work out. This can lead to much longer term issues with the potty. My niece is an example. Sister started at 2 yeaars old and she is almost 3 and still having multiple "accidents" each day. Some may be ready at 2, but I find that just waiting it out seems to be easiest, imo.
I have a 3 yo dcg(just had her birthday)and we've started talking with her about it all, just like you mentioned. I'll bring her in every hour and suggest we try to go potty. I try not to push the dcks, because I know it can easily turn into a battle nobody will win. I also find, as you said, that to PT a 3 yo is usually such a quick experience compared to starting them at 18 months-2 yo. Dcks often come in after a weekend, accident free. To be honest here?? I loathe Potty-training and get so frustrated working week after week after week to train. So unless the child is showing huge signs of being ready, I'm happy to wait till they're 3 and start then.
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 05-23-2015, 12:24 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Smile

I dont not think no kid over 2 or 2.5 should be in diapers. If there is a medical reason thats fine.I also start them early between 11 months -18months. Fully trained fully indepent taking them selfs to the bathroom by two years old 2.5 at the latest.I do believe if u teach they can do anything i dont think u need to wait for them to be ready just teach them and they can do anything. A long time I got a call needing childcare for 5 year-oldin diapers I couldn't believe it in all the years ive done this was my oldest kid in diapers, I thought it was gross but accepted this child because she had been raped and had behavior issues was in a behavior schoolshe just started aand they were pottytraining I agree to help.since what happen to her I understand. But no I would not accept kids over 2.5 in diapers or pull ups .I do strictly underwear I get potty training done in 2 weeks or less.im not sure if im lucky or really good at potty training. And yes the kids dont need to talk they can still go on there own. Ive also at kids walk really early witch really helps (9months).the parents are really thankful that I really care and get them trained so early no negative effects at all.the parents are glad not to have to battle potty training a older child . One lady that was new had a 1 1/2 year old and 2 1/2 year oldstart both trained in two weeks she was amazed and wish she found me earler.I dont think im the best but this can be done early and easy and fast
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 05-23-2015, 06:21 PM
NightOwl's Avatar
NightOwl NightOwl is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,716
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I am not disagreeing with this concept (I know lazy parenting delays the process) but 'parents that don't really parent' is a completely different topic and has nothing to do with physical development.

I could be THE perfect parent. Doing everything right. Guiding and disciplining my child, setting up good eating and sleeping routines and all the other things "perfect" parents do but it will have NO effect whatsoever on when the child acquires the skills necessary to be trained.

In my opinion, only a SMALL percentage of kids still in diapers at an older age is due to lazy parenting.

The rest is developmental....nature NOT nurture.

We cannot control 'nature'.

We can impact 'nurture' but it is still only part of a bigger picture.
I agree. I guess my nephew was in the minority. But then again, Idk many parents that are as lazy as my sis. For him, nurture, or lack thereof, had and continues to have a huge impact on him.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 05-23-2015, 06:34 PM
NightOwl's Avatar
NightOwl NightOwl is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,716
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Thank you for your response! I think they did the adult diaper thing too, but there was this bid debate over whether that was enabling him or helping him, so I am not sure if they still use them. I really don't know what to think, but I definitely know he is not doing it on purpose. He is very embarassed about it. I just wish there was a miricale cure for it, because it is so tough to be a teenager as it is, let alone to have this issue. Hopefully, he can work it out soon and have one less thing on his plate as he goes through junior/high school.
The adult diaper is not enabling him. Enabling is something that happens when the person being enabled is doing something purposely and being allowed to continue it by the caregivers/parents. He can't help it, poor kid. And I know you know that, I just feel bad for him that his parents aren't supporting him more and would consider it a purposeful act.
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 05-23-2015, 07:05 PM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,820
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Thanks for the link...it supports what I was/am trying to say:

*Newer studies suggest no benefit of intensive training before 27 months of age.

*Mastery of the developmental skills required for toilet training occurs after 24 months of age


So AFTER a child turns 27 months, they should be easily trained without much intervention or fanfare from the caregiver.

However, IF the child does not have the developmental skills necessary (due to lazy parents or not being taught or for whatever reason...) BY 27 months, the learning process will be difficult and time consuming for all.

So according to what the AAP says, toilet learning can begin at about 27 months (give or take like any other age recommendation).
My pediatrician told me that he NEVER sees boys trained any earlier than 27 months, and most train around 3.5. Girls, he says, train around 3. I do not believe that kids attain all developmental readiness at 25 months. I don't know ANY 25 month old who can open the door to the bathroom, pull down their pants, climb on to the toilet, wipe their own butt, get down from the toilet, flush, then get their pants back on. Until those things can all happen, then the kid isn't the one being potty trained, IMO.

The kid that I have that was trained the youngest is currently 3years, 6 months. She pees and poops herself when she gets upset. I've not seen a kid who trained older do that. I just don't like pushing kids emotionally to train them.
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 05-25-2015, 06:02 AM
grateday's Avatar
grateday grateday is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 203
Default Thats enough

Quote:
Originally Posted by spedmommy4 View Post
Maybe this is a California thing but I am getting more and more calls from parents with 3 year olds (some nearly 4) who are nowhere near toilet trained. Do you all have age cut offs for accepting unpotty trained kiddos or policies regarding children this age with that have parents that aren't working on it? If you have policies, and don't mind sharing, I would love to see them. I'm considering revising mine.
I started encouraging bathroom time with my son at 2 years old. I knew about development and at the time he thought it was great. I ended up trying every type of way to work with him but to no avail. On the other end of the spectrum I had a family that expected me to have there child trained in a few months and that did not pan out because no where in our training does it say we should be forcing anything. Do we have potty breaks? Yes Are they about every hour or so? Yes

Potty training has been hard for my special needs kiddo. It is hard to clean poop out of a child the size of a 5 year old, but you adapt ways to do it.
I get why some people would not be able to care for certain kids because they don't have the ability to do so for....time....patience.....

My son is 4 and he is not able to developmentally and I am tired of parents who think they are better like it is some sort of competition and brag and talk about other families whos kids are not using the toilet. I am really sick of it. Learning to go to the bathroom is a developmental milestone. It comes when the child is developmentally ready. My son is on a lot of heavy medication that slows thinking, processing, response time, etc. He is not given special treatment or even coddled.

I think that the word it is time for a change in the wording of "training". I think it is confusing and it makes people believe that it is them that need to train.

Going to the bathroom is a developmental process that we aim for, encourage, but ultimately it is the child who develops into that readiness process on there own without force.

As a parent with a child who is developmentally delayed, I am sad when I see this. Even if your child is not developmentally delayed, they are at a different developmental levels broken into different categories than another child the same age. Children cannot always be at every milestone when you want to see it. You can have a late talker who is going potty early, etc.

I seem to be stuck finding someone in the same boat as me and it is lonely here. At times I feel judged and hurt.
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 05-25-2015, 09:09 AM
jenboo's Avatar
jenboo jenboo is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Planet earth
Posts: 3,155
Default

I had three families start their children at 2 yrs old.
Dcb1 is super street smart. He caught on real fast but then realized he could have accidents as a way to control... To get reactions of us... The potty training process took a full year.

Dcb2 was not ready but parents insisted. They spent many weekends doing the 3 day potty training stuff. At one point the child started freaking out about having to sit on the toilet.... A year later he still wasn't fully potty trained.

Dcb3 was definitely not ready but I was closing my daycare and the parents had a hard time finding a daycare that would take a two year old that wasn't potty trained I loved this family and we both agreed to go cold turkey with the diapers and see what happened. DCB caught in within a week and was fully trained within a month!

My point is that starting early (2 yes old) may work for some kids but it's not a magic age. Pushing kids when they aren't ready may end up working with some kids but not others. I think it needs to be individualized vs putting an age on it. Everyone develops differently.
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 05-25-2015, 01:21 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NessaRose View Post
I'm not familiar with this. Could you elaborate?

I have never had a normally developing child to go past 4 and not be potty trained. I have seen children go up to 5 and 6 if they also had other areas of delay.

I agree some children yank their parents' chains. My own nephew came to me at almost 4 and still wearing pull ups, which he readily used at home every day. I told him the very first day, after I got that pull up off and put undies on him, that HE would be cleaning up any "accidents" he had here. He said EWWWWW!! You know how many accidents he had here? ZERO. At home? Daily accidents. My sister is a slacker and tends to do whatever requires the least amount of effort, and I knew this was why he still wore pull ups.

I don't allow pull ups here at all for potty training. They're diapers, plain and simple. We go straight to underwear or those super thick, absorbent underwear, but no pull ups.
This reminds me of my SIL. I never took care of my nieces or nephews, but my MIL did despite my SIL never working a day in her life. Anyway, if SIL had her way they'd be entering college still wearing diapers and drinking from a bottle (but that's another story). I think there are certain signs, but as another poster said you can miss the window of opportunity. That just makes it harder to break them. My own niece would urinate and defecate on purpose in places. Like she did it once on a coffee table I had that had drawers. She just defecated and put in the drawer. My nieces and nephews often urinated or defecated in their pants until about the age of 10 when they didn't want to go something, especially at places like school where someone would be called to get them. Once I took them on a family trip despite my better judgement, because DH insisted, and they decided to all pee their pants because they wanted to stop at a convenience store. I said "No, now, you can sit here in your piss pants. If you keep the bad attitude, I won't let you change in the hotel. Call nanny or mommy. Go ahead. If you you do this any time we're actually out of the hotel, you're going to spend the whole day in underwear full of piss and ****. You know how to use the toilet and there's nothing wrong with any of you". Despite this stopping around me, they still did and one wondered why they had no friends at 12. I told her outright "Would you want to be friends with someone who smells like a toliet? No one has to be your friend". This is around the time it stopped with all of them.
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 05-25-2015, 02:48 PM
Controlled Chaos's Avatar
Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,128
Default

I think part of the disconnect for many of us of differing views is language and motive. Are you training or teaching? Is it about hygiene and personal responsibility or convenience and control? Are you introducing children to a concept and offering them tools or forcing a child to conform to a desirable behavior? Are you motivated by the child's cues, your past experiences as provider/parent or a dkcs parents.

I don't think introducing a child to a potty, or even have them sit on a potty at diaper change time is "potty training". I have children who are physically able (18m ish) sit on a potty for a sec before a put on a clean diaper. I see it as teaching them about where they will go eventually, teaching them the motor skill of sitting down on it and standing up. We cheer and high five to make it a happy place. I have no expectation of them going in the potty until they are 2-2.5. We only go once every 2 hours, like a regular diaper chance. I DO have children 18m - 2yo who will tell me they are wet or poopy and run into the bathroom (connected to playroom) so they get changed immediately after going. I see it as encouraging hygiene and self care, but again the focus isn't potty training. With this routine it is easy to tell when they are ready, and the child typically initiates the next step themselves.

As providers, we have children wash their hands in a sink way before they are ready to do it themselves. We offer infants and toddler spoons at meal times when they are still eating with their fingers. I see sitting on the potty as the same thing.

Most children in my care are potty trained before they turn 3.

I think its ok for providers to approach teaching toilet skills in a variety of different ways and on different time lines as long as they always keep the child's best interest at the heart of the experience.
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 05-25-2015, 07:32 PM
NightOwl's Avatar
NightOwl NightOwl is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,716
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
This reminds me of my SIL. I never took care of my nieces or nephews, but my MIL did despite my SIL never working a day in her life. Anyway, if SIL had her way they'd be entering college still wearing diapers and drinking from a bottle (but that's another story). I think there are certain signs, but as another poster said you can miss the window of opportunity. That just makes it harder to break them. My own niece would urinate and defecate on purpose in places. Like she did it once on a coffee table I had that had drawers. She just defecated and put in the drawer. My nieces and nephews often urinated or defecated in their pants until about the age of 10 when they didn't want to go something, especially at places like school where someone would be called to get them. Once I took them on a family trip despite my better judgement, because DH insisted, and they decided to all pee their pants because they wanted to stop at a convenience store. I said "No, now, you can sit here in your piss pants. If you keep the bad attitude, I won't let you change in the hotel. Call nanny or mommy. Go ahead. If you you do this any time we're actually out of the hotel, you're going to spend the whole day in underwear full of piss and ****. You know how to use the toilet and there's nothing wrong with any of you". Despite this stopping around me, they still did and one wondered why they had no friends at 12. I told her outright "Would you want to be friends with someone who smells like a toliet? No one has to be your friend". This is around the time it stopped with all of them.
Ohhhhh that's ridiculous. 10 and 12 years old and doing it solely to manipulate? I don't spank my kids very often, but that would've been cause to whip them until they couldn't sit down.
Reply With Quote
  #61  
Old 07-10-2017, 03:32 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jujube835 View Post
I'm not changing a poopy anything. The pull-ups are for an extra layer of security, just incase they have an accident. The kids sit on the potty every hour and if they show any signs of needing a potty in between those hourly visits then they sit on the potty then as well. I reeeeeally do not believe that a child older than 2 needs a diaper. In my experience with my own kids, my experience in the center I worked at, and with the daycare kids I have now, I've never met a child that can't be potty trained by their 3rd birthday IF the parent is willing to put in the work.
This is exactly the kind of comment that is making me cry.
Four weeks into potty training my nearly three year old I have gotten no progress at all except him screaming at me and laughing defiantly every time he sets and poops himself (I'm not calling it an accident when he laughs and pees right as I put on a clean pair of underpants after saying "I don't have to pee when he is sitting on the potty).

I guess I'm just a crappy parent. I have two weeks before I have to restart a job. He won't be potty trained and his daycare won't take him back. I have no other options so that's it.

And yes I've tried literally everything. I'm just a bad lazy stupid parent.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 07-10-2017, 05:53 PM
KiwiKids's Avatar
KiwiKids KiwiKids is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 263
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
This is exactly the kind of comment that is making me cry.
Four weeks into potty training my nearly three year old I have gotten no progress at all except him screaming at me and laughing defiantly every time he sets and poops himself (I'm not calling it an accident when he laughs and pees right as I put on a clean pair of underpants after saying "I don't have to pee when he is sitting on the potty).

I guess I'm just a crappy parent. I have two weeks before I have to restart a job. He won't be potty trained and his daycare won't take him back. I have no other options so that's it.

And yes I've tried literally everything. I'm just a bad lazy stupid parent.

I've had the child that I tried everything with ( my own! ) after potty training so many kids over the years. He simply was not ready. I let it become a power struggle. Then one day he decided to use the potty and that was it. Day and night trained. No accidents. All in one day.

I know that doesn't help with the daycare situation, but some kids just take longer. The majority train around 2-3 but some kids are closer to 4yrs old when it happens.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 07-10-2017, 06:14 PM
racemom's Avatar
racemom racemom is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: nebraska
Posts: 970
Default

I would start fresh in the morning. Tell him he is wearing big boy underwear, and if he makes a mess in them it is his responsibility to clean himself up. Explain to him he is big enough to use the toilet, and if he chooses not to poop in the toilet he will be expected to clean himself. And stick with it! It sounds like it has become a power struggle, and he is winning because you can't make him pee/poop on demand, give him the power, but make him face the consequences.
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 07-10-2017, 08:27 PM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,820
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
This is exactly the kind of comment that is making me cry.
Four weeks into potty training my nearly three year old I have gotten no progress at all except him screaming at me and laughing defiantly every time he sets and poops himself (I'm not calling it an accident when he laughs and pees right as I put on a clean pair of underpants after saying "I don't have to pee when he is sitting on the potty).

I guess I'm just a crappy parent. I have two weeks before I have to restart a job. He won't be potty trained and his daycare won't take him back. I have no other options so that's it.

And yes I've tried literally everything. I'm just a bad lazy stupid parent.
I suggest finding a different daycare if the one you chose won't take a 2 year old who doesn't use the toilet. Some 2 year olds are capable, some are not. KiwiKids' example below says it all: they will do it when THEY are ready. The adult's job is to educate and facilitate. ONLY the child can decide when it is going to happen. We can push and prod all we want, but we can't force a child to eliminate on command-it has to be their choice. Don't make it a fight-just keep offering the toilet, offering encouragement and support, and stop fighting-only he can control where and when he eliminates.


Quote:
Originally Posted by KiwiKids View Post
I've had the child that I tried everything with ( my own! ) after potty training so many kids over the years. He simply was not ready. I let it become a power struggle. Then one day he decided to use the potty and that was it. Day and night trained. No accidents. All in one day.

I know that doesn't help with the daycare situation, but some kids just take longer. The majority train around 2-3 but some kids are closer to 4yrs old when it happens.
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 07-11-2017, 07:55 AM
hwichlaz's Avatar
hwichlaz hwichlaz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,048
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
May I ask you a question? My sister's nephew is 13 and wets the bed almost every night. They have taken him to the doctor and there is no medical reason for this. His mom is the sort that gets mad and has probably shamed him for it (I think they started PT when he was 2 or 3), so I am not sure if she has really helped the situation, so much as she has made it worse. She tells him he has to clean it up, but doesn't follow through, so their basement reeks like urine. This is also an issue for his sister who is 9, but not quite as bad. They have tried an alarm to wake him up at night, but he sleeps like the dead, and quite honestly, I think they are too lazy to get up and go wake him up to go. I feel bad for him, though, because he won't spend the night with his friends and it is definitely effecting his social life. Any advice on how to handle this? I dobt his mom will listen but maybe I can offer some hints in a subtle way. It is just so out of hand at this point, that I am really worried about it and he is not even my family!
At 13, it's not the parents that are lazy. He's hearing the alarm in the back of his mind, but isn't quite motivated enough to get up. Though, not following through on making him do the clean up IS lazy. If they aren't going to follow through, he should be in depends at night. It's not okay that he's sleeping in that. My ex husband wet the bed about onve a week until he was 12. He couldn't help it. BUT he could clean it up all on his own.

Last edited by hwichlaz; 07-11-2017 at 07:57 AM. Reason: hit post too soon
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
preschoolers, preschoolers in diapers

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Cloth Diapers Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 22 02-18-2015 11:23 AM
Cloth Diapers Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 1 02-09-2015 03:44 PM
Diapers Way Too Big? TwinKristi Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 04-25-2014 07:26 PM
We are 100% Paper/Disposable Free!! SunflowerMama Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 34 04-09-2013 05:58 PM
Parents Refusing To Bring Diapers SunshineMama Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 43 05-25-2012 07:22 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:40 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming