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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Don't Want To Do This Anymore
Unregistered 03:19 PM 07-05-2014
I'm sick of the inconsistency of income. I'm sick of repeating my policies to parents who are either too busy to know what my policies are, don't care, or are trying to get away with something.
I also don't even want to live in my neighborhood anymore. My neighbors hate my daycare and talk about me behind my back at every spare second. But my husband flat out refuses to move (and he usually goes along with whatever I want). Oh, and we have family living in our basement. I don't want them there anymore but we owe them $ so we're totally stuck. They like to complain about how my dds make a lot of noise. But there is no way I'm telling my own kids to be quiet in their own house. UGH
I even want a new car. If I close my daycare I wont need an 8 seater anymore. A nice little SUV would be great....

I'm totally miserable and I can't even put my finger on why exactly.
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NightOwl 05:47 PM 07-05-2014
You're in a rut. How long have you been feeling this way? More than 6 months? It might be time to see a Dr. If you have depression, using a mild anti depressant could help you clear your head so that you could truly figure out what it is that's making you so unhappy.
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earlystart 06:20 PM 07-05-2014
I feel your pain too. I'm currently in a rut as well. Sometimes I will absolutely LOVE my job - the freedom to be my own boss, to make my own policies, to not have gossiping coworkers I don't like, to stay in my own home all day, get some cleaning/chores done during the day, water the garden, stay home with my son. But other times I HATE my job: I get lonely by myself without coworkers, I get tired of shouldering the responsibility of owning my own business, the long hours, losing clients and not having any luck finding replacements, I doubt myself and my quality of care, I get sick and tired of cleaning all the time, my own son starts acting out especially around the daycare.

But really, nothing has changed except my outlook. I get this feeling with every job I've ever had - where the grass is greener on the other side. For me, sometimes the stress takes over and I feel like I can't make enough progress on all the little to-do lists in my head, so I start to mentally give up on everything and adopt a "who cares" attitude. Well then things start to get more out of hand, and it's a vicious cycle. So, I have to use techniques to reduce stress: clearing my schedule of social obligations on the evenings and weekends, take bubble baths, relaxing music, sign up for classes at the gym to get some vigorous exercise (I hate exercising, but this helps my mood SO MUCH), remind myself that this is good enough for now, and reading self-help books.

It sounds like you could use a little focus on yourself - but not on wishing for what you don't have - just tend to your emotional/physical needs first and give yourself a few weeks to wind down and de-stress and re-evaluation from there.
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midaycare 09:05 PM 07-05-2014


I'm sorry life is tough right now. Hey, each day the family is with you, your debt is closer to being paid, right? I have to imagine you not charging them rent lowers what you owe them. That's one good thing, right?
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coolconfidentme 05:35 AM 07-06-2014
I'll be honest, I feel that way sometimes too. I try to break it down & It always comes back to no feel time. It seems like I am always eat, sleep, breathing DC. Mostly because of required paperwork. What is your biggest grip & do you think you can eliminate it? Can you do away with transporting? Maybe phase it our? Would that help? idk...
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TickleMonster 06:04 AM 07-07-2014
Yep in a rut. We have all been there. I was that way just a few months ago. You have to remember all the good reasons of why you started the daycare in the first place. For me, it was so I can be home raising my kids, which is almost impossible to do any other way as a single mom. There are a lot of things we all hate about being daycare providers, (mainly inconsiderate parents) but there are so many perks to this job that a lot of other people don't get to have. Just try to remember that. When I feel down or alone I get on here and it cheers me right up to have the support. As for the family living in your house, how long have they been there? I know you said you owe them money but if they are making you uncomfortable in your own home, it's time for them to either make some changes or hit the road. If you want to change types of cars, then look into it. I don't take my dc on field trips. Too much hassle and stress to try and take care of others kids in public. I hope you can make the changes that you need to make your life happier and healthier!
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Blackcat31 06:24 AM 07-07-2014
Some awesome tips in this thread to overcome feelings of provider burnout

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=66513
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craftymissbeth 07:46 AM 07-07-2014
This is exactly how I feel right now. I was off last week recovering from gallbladder surgery and I realized how much I truly despise the daycare. I love, love, love the dck's, but I can't stand the mess, people in and out of my home, licensing, the food program, lack of money, etc. My heart just isn't in it anymore. I had three interviews lined up for this week and I cancelled them all

Over the weekend I filled out a FAFSA application and started researching what degrees our local community college offers. So far I'm not seeing anything I'd be interested in until I retire, but I can at least what I have left as far as general classes out of the way. I'm interested in social work, but not necessarily interested in getting a bachelor's degree... I'm not positive if I'd need one to get a good job.

My plan for the rest of the year is to keep the 3 children I have now and to take as many online college courses as I can.

I applied at Alpine Access and am going to schedule an interview as soon as my landline is installed. I was offered the choice between a Macintosh Phone Rep or just a generic telephone customer service rep and the pay wasn't bad at all. It's a work from home thing, but it's a legit job that pays hourly, you have a set weekly schedule, and you can't have your kids home while you work if they make noise. They have a zero tolerance policy regarding noise during calls. Anyway, I thought it sounded really good and the reviews from people who had worked there weren't absolutely horrible.


ETA: I've also considered getting a job outside of the home and then getting a foster care license. I would LOVE to be a foster parent, but in my state it's apparently very difficult to have both a foster and a daycare license.
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Shell 07:53 AM 07-07-2014
I am feeling like this today
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lovemykidstoo 11:52 AM 07-07-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
This is exactly how I feel right now. I was off last week recovering from gallbladder surgery and I realized how much I truly despise the daycare. I love, love, love the dck's, but I can't stand the mess, people in and out of my home, licensing, the food program, lack of money, etc. My heart just isn't in it anymore. I had three interviews lined up for this week and I cancelled them all

Over the weekend I filled out a FAFSA application and started researching what degrees our local community college offers. So far I'm not seeing anything I'd be interested in until I retire, but I can at least what I have left as far as general classes out of the way. I'm interested in social work, but not necessarily interested in getting a bachelor's degree... I'm not positive if I'd need one to get a good job.

My plan for the rest of the year is to keep the 3 children I have now and to take as many online college courses as I can.

I applied at Alpine Access and am going to schedule an interview as soon as my landline is installed. I was offered the choice between a Macintosh Phone Rep or just a generic telephone customer service rep and the pay wasn't bad at all. It's a work from home thing, but it's a legit job that pays hourly, you have a set weekly schedule, and you can't have your kids home while you work if they make noise. They have a zero tolerance policy regarding noise during calls. Anyway, I thought it sounded really good and the reviews from people who had worked there weren't absolutely horrible.


ETA: I've also considered getting a job outside of the home and then getting a foster care license. I would LOVE to be a foster parent, but in my state it's apparently very difficult to have both a foster and a daycare license.
I was thinking of looking at Alpine Access too. Would you do that along with daycare? Did they contact you for an interview yet?
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Blackcat31 12:12 PM 07-07-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:

I applied at Alpine Access and am going to schedule an interview as soon as my landline is installed. I was offered the choice between a Macintosh Phone Rep or just a generic telephone customer service rep and the pay wasn't bad at all. It's a work from home thing, but it's a legit job that pays hourly, you have a set weekly schedule, and you can't have your kids home while you work if they make noise. They have a zero tolerance policy regarding noise during calls. Anyway, I thought it sounded really good and the reviews from people who had worked there weren't absolutely horrible.
I have heard some awful horror stories about Alpine Access.

Read the reviews on these sites. I've heard similar feedback from real people who've contacted/worked for them.

http://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Alp...ews-E29865.htm

This one was especially alarming:
Biggest scamming site EVER do not trust one single word this company says!!! I got an online job offering from 'Sandra Wilson'. At the end of the day a scam is a scam. They send you a check in the mail to get your 'job started' and if you put it in your account it will bounce and you will have to pay your bank back. Then someone from Alpine will contact you saying they 'payed you to much' or 'you didn't pay us back ___ amount". It's all about money people, and if you agree to work for them prepare to LOSE LOSE LOSE. DO NOT TRUST THIS PLACE NOT ONE BIT. I promise if you do you will regret it…!!!

There is even Facebook page for Alpine Access Sucks
https://www.facebook.com/OccupyAlpine

I've also picked up that part of the background check includes a credit check. Once they put you to work and you invest the time/money to work for them, then they tell you your credit score isn't acceptable.


DISCLAIMER: I have NO experience with this company. I have no thoughts/feelings about whether it is or isn't a scam.

I just dont want to see anyone here get taken for a ride so if you are considering this as a serious side job, please do your research first. I don't want to see you scammed.

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AmyKidsCo 01:00 PM 07-07-2014
Some days suck, plain and simple. If you're just in a rut, I'd say take some time off, or go to a training to get recharged.

But if you're consistently feeling this way then maybe it's time to look into doing something else. Life is too short to spend it doing something you hate!
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Unregistered 04:15 PM 07-15-2014
Thanks everyone for the help!

Two more years and my debt is paid to my family. I can't make them leave since they kept their name on the deed (we are basically paying them for the house)

I don't mind the daycare Most of the time. But it kills me that my dds and dh hate it. In fact I find my job to be wonderful when all 3 of them are not here.

Younger dd is off to school in the fall so most of my day is going to be a breeze. This is what I'm looking forward to right now, which is terrible, since I started DC to earn a living and be home with them.

It does irritate me considerably when I have to deal with parents ignoring policies or trying to get away with something.
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craftymissbeth 10:31 PM 07-15-2014
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I was thinking of looking at Alpine Access too. Would you do that along with daycare? Did they contact you for an interview yet?
I have the option to set up an interview whenever I want, but I don't have a landline or the equipment needed. I basically only have a computer ATM.

I thought I'd be able to do it along with daycare, but so far what they're offering me shift wise isn't working for me. They all start at funky hours... my last child leaves at 3:45 so I could possibly start at 4 if I hurried and no one was late, but the offers I'm getting start at 1 or 3 until midnight... and they said I'd only have one weekend day per week, but they want me Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Which would be fine, but they're funky hours too.

I'm still waiting on the perfect offer while I wait for my landline to be installed (which I'm installing regardless).
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Unregistered 03:47 AM 07-16-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
I have the option to set up an interview whenever I want, but I don't have a landline or the equipment needed. I basically only have a computer ATM.

I thought I'd be able to do it along with daycare, but so far what they're offering me shift wise isn't working for me. They all start at funky hours... my last child leaves at 3:45 so I could possibly start at 4 if I hurried and no one was late, but the offers I'm getting start at 1 or 3 until midnight... and they said I'd only have one weekend day per week, but they want me Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Which would be fine, but they're funky hours too.

I'm still waiting on the perfect offer while I wait for my landline to be installed (which I'm installing regardless).
So what would you be doing? In other words, what does the work entail?
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My3cents 11:54 AM 07-16-2014
Originally Posted by earlystart:
I feel your pain too. I'm currently in a rut as well. Sometimes I will absolutely LOVE my job - the freedom to be my own boss, to make my own policies, to not have gossiping coworkers I don't like, to stay in my own home all day, get some cleaning/chores done during the day, water the garden, stay home with my son. But other times I HATE my job: I get lonely by myself without coworkers, I get tired of shouldering the responsibility of owning my own business, the long hours, losing clients and not having any luck finding replacements, I doubt myself and my quality of care, I get sick and tired of cleaning all the time, my own son starts acting out especially around the daycare.

But really, nothing has changed except my outlook. I get this feeling with every job I've ever had - where the grass is greener on the other side. For me, sometimes the stress takes over and I feel like I can't make enough progress on all the little to-do lists in my head, so I start to mentally give up on everything and adopt a "who cares" attitude. Well then things start to get more out of hand, and it's a vicious cycle. So, I have to use techniques to reduce stress: clearing my schedule of social obligations on the evenings and weekends, take bubble baths, relaxing music, sign up for classes at the gym to get some vigorous exercise (I hate exercising, but this helps my mood SO MUCH), remind myself that this is good enough for now, and reading self-help books.

It sounds like you could use a little focus on yourself - but not on wishing for what you don't have - just tend to your emotional/physical needs first and give yourself a few weeks to wind down and de-stress and re-evaluation from there.

Reply
My3cents 11:59 AM 07-16-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thanks everyone for the help!

Two more years and my debt is paid to my family. I can't make them leave since they kept their name on the deed (we are basically paying them for the house)

I don't mind the daycare Most of the time. But it kills me that my dds and dh hate it. In fact I find my job to be wonderful when all 3 of them are not here.

Younger dd is off to school in the fall so most of my day is going to be a breeze. This is what I'm looking forward to right now, which is terrible, since I started DC to earn a living and be home with them.

It does irritate me considerably when I have to deal with parents ignoring policies or trying to get away with something.
don't allow them ignoring policies to be an issue. Get firm.

If your heart is truly out of this then get out but if your just having a bad moment- we all do
take care of you and see how you feel after you make some changes for the better for you.
best-
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Papa 08:37 AM 07-17-2014
We can tell from these posts that almost everyone has a bad spell every now and then. I have done this for 30+ years but I never want to go work for someone else again. I have NO commute, can make my own rules and work hours,and can make the day what I want it to be.....all free time or lots of activities. We just have to "laugh and deal" with those parents. Having a local support group of other providers is nice. We share great ideas, see other daycares, or just vent! Hang in there!!!
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Littleplanet 11:11 AM 07-17-2014
I have been feeling this for a little while also. But, I think mine is from a parent who made me feel like I had a horrible daycare, which in fact, I know I do not. She crushed my confidence and it is taking me a while to get back into feeling like this is what I really want to do. I have had one child since he was 8 weeks old, he is now 2 1/2. I think about him and his sister who is here for the summer. I know how much I have taught them and still am teaching them and that is what keeps me going. I do love what I do and have to remember that. I also don't like the fact that some people are just going to take advantage or at least try to. I have changed my contract since the incident a month back and feel like I may be back on the right way of thinking again. I figure there is going to be something that isn't perfect about any job so I might as well stay where I know I am happy for the most part.
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DaisyMamma 06:44 AM 07-22-2014
Originally Posted by My3cents:
don't allow them ignoring policies to be an issue. Get firm.

If your heart is truly out of this then get out but if your just having a bad moment- we all do
take care of you and see how you feel after you make some changes for the better for you.
best-
For me, when someone ignores a policy I take it personally. I find that it is a complete disrespect to me and my business and even on a first offense it makes me want to show them the door. It takes me a VERY long time to get over it. And it can be something as simple as a parent asking for clarity...

I had a parent try to tell me they wouldn't be paying while on vacation by simply stating how much $ they would give me prior to leaving. I realized what was happening because they pay two weeks at a time and the amount was for one. I let them know that tuition is due every week regardless of attendance or vacation. She later admitted DCD said they would probably have to pay but she wasn't sure. So instead of straight out asking me she tried to tell me what she was going to do
Fast forward a couple of weeks and now its time for my vacation. The sign on my door states I'm closed next week and payment for next week is due by Fri. So she read it and said, oh your closed next week? Do we have to pay for that? So now I just don't even want this kid here anymore. I'm really mad irritated, feel like they want to take advantage of me, et. etc. etc.

How does everyone just brush these things off? Personally I just can't do it. I don't allow people to bend policies but it's not enough for me. Having to constantly remind them as if they too are two years old just rubs me the wrong way.
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Blackcat31 07:46 AM 07-22-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
For me, when someone ignores a policy I take it personally. I find that it is a complete disrespect to me and my business and even on a first offense it makes me want to show them the door. It takes me a VERY long time to get over it. And it can be something as simple as a parent asking for clarity...

I had a parent try to tell me they wouldn't be paying while on vacation by simply stating how much $ they would give me prior to leaving. I realized what was happening because they pay two weeks at a time and the amount was for one. I let them know that tuition is due every week regardless of attendance or vacation. She later admitted DCD said they would probably have to pay but she wasn't sure. So instead of straight out asking me she tried to tell me what she was going to do
Fast forward a couple of weeks and now its time for my vacation. The sign on my door states I'm closed next week and payment for next week is due by Fri. So she read it and said, oh your closed next week? Do we have to pay for that? So now I just don't even want this kid here anymore. I'm really mad irritated, feel like they want to take advantage of me, et. etc. etc.

How does everyone just brush these things off? Personally I just can't do it. I don't allow people to bend policies but it's not enough for me. Having to constantly remind them as if they too are two years old just rubs me the wrong way.
I brush it off by remembering that THEIR actions belong to them.

They can try and make me feel guilty or badly but I refuse to borrow someone else's issues. I will NOT stress about things that I personally cannot change.

If I CAN change something that stresses me, I change it.

As for the parent reminders...I don't understand why so many providers are having to remind parents of anything...I just supply my rules and when they don't follow them (like the payment thing for vacation time) I apply the consequence (in that case, it would be a hefty late fee and possible loss of services) and if the parent questions me, I just say "Didn't you read your contract?"

If the parent said to me "Do we pay for that?" like you said above, my response would have been "What do YOU think?" and left the parent feeling stupid because you know as well as I do that she DID know...she is just playing dumb in hopes of you not having the balls to say yes.


It is and can be hard to manage parents sometimes but once you learn to put things back on them (by being snarky with a big smile) it becomes REALLY REALLY easy to do and MUCH less stressful for you.

I promise.
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DaisyMamma 07:57 AM 07-22-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I brush it off by remembering that THEIR actions belong to them.

They can try and make me feel guilty or badly but I refuse to borrow someone else's issues. I will NOT stress about things that I personally cannot change.

If I CAN change something that stresses me, I change it.

As for the parent reminders...I don't understand why so many providers are having to remind parents of anything...I just supply my rules and when they don't follow them (like the payment thing for vacation time) I apply the consequence (in that case, it would be a hefty late fee and possible loss of services) and if the parent questions me, I just say "Didn't you read your contract?"

If the parent said to me "Do we pay for that?" like you said above, my response would have been "What do YOU think?" and left the parent feeling stupid because you know as well as I do that she DID know...she is just playing dumb in hopes of you not having the balls to say yes.


It is and can be hard to manage parents sometimes but once you learn to put things back on them (by being snarky with a big smile) it becomes REALLY REALLY easy to do and MUCH less stressful for you.

I promise.
The thing is that I am very sarcastic by nature and say exactly what I'm thinking. To the point where most people I meet think I'm a B*****.

But this type of thing just makes me want to term. I shouldnt have to remind them, is how I feel. Its hard to explain. My thoughts are kind of like this, how dare you ask that, get out of my daycare, you know the rules. Yet needing the $ makes me just say yes you need to pay. But then I personally hold it against them and will find a replacement.

But even if I were to do as you suggest, which I will try, I would still feel the same way. But perhaps it would keep them from asking? Is that the idea? Ill give it a shot.

Sorry to hijack the thread!
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Blackcat31 08:10 AM 07-22-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
The thing is that I am very sarcastic by nature and say exactly what I'm thinking. To the point where most people I meet think I'm a B*****.

But this type of thing just makes me want to term. I shouldnt have to remind them, is how I feel. Its hard to explain. My thoughts are kind of like this, how dare you ask that, get out of my daycare, you know the rules. Yet needing the $ makes me just say yes you need to pay. But then I personally hold it against them and will find a replacement.

But even if I were to do as you suggest, which I will try, I would still feel the same way. But perhaps it would keep them from asking? Is that the idea? Ill give it a shot.

Sorry to hijack the thread!
YES! It will stop them from continually asking and that will DIRECTLY affect your stress levels and thus creating an easy work environment.

Sometimes when I have a family that is focusing on one issue and asking over and over about things that are clearly written in my policies, I will take the time to send them an e-mail CLEARLY outlining the rules they are violating and remind them of how disrespectful it is to continually expect "special" and/or how disrespectful it is to behave as if I work for them.

Sometimes, if you let them think you don't need them HALF as much as they need you, their behavior changes dramatically. Most the time parents think they have you cornered and you won't term because you need the money...kwim?

I make sure they know that I don't need THEIR money if they aren't going to follow the rules and policies THEY agreed to I WILL term.

It REALLY does work.
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DaisyMamma 08:18 AM 07-22-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
YES! It will stop them from continually asking and that will DIRECTLY affect your stress levels and thus creating an easy work environment.

Sometimes when I have a family that is focusing on one issue and asking over and over about things that are clearly written in my policies, I will take the time to send them an e-mail CLEARLY outlining the rules they are violating and remind them of how disrespectful it is to continually expect "special" and/or how disrespectful it is to behave as if I work for them.

Sometimes, if you let them think you don't need them HALF as much as they need you, their behavior changes dramatically. Most the time parents think they have you cornered and you won't term because you need the money...kwim?

I make sure they know that I don't need THEIR money if they aren't going to follow the rules and policies THEY agreed to I WILL term.

It REALLY does work.
Great. This family left for the day already. I'm going to email a copy of my policies to them during nap time with a nice note.
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Tags:burnt out, over it
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