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Old 04-12-2011, 09:12 AM
MamaBear MamaBear is offline
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Default One Thing I Hate About Sibling Situations...

The one thing I hate about having a "sibling situation" here in the daycare is when the parent picks up ONE child and leave the other here!!! WHY????

The mom just came & picked up the 4 yr old DCG and left the younger brother (18 month DCB) so she could take the other to the zoo... The younger one was crying at the window when she left because he wanted his mom. I dont think he understood where they were going, but I frickin hate that.

Shes also the mom who SWORE before that she would NEVER be "that" mom who picks up one kid and leaves the other... how mean would that be? Now she is "that" mom. I understand if she was taking her to the dr or if she was sick... but how do you just take ONE of your kids to the zoo and not both?!

Some people...
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:28 AM
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I feel you. I guess she is getting used to it, who knows. I would never do that to my kids. Sometimes, I feel guilty when we go out eat and one of our daughter is spending the night with her friend's house. My husband said it is normal but she is having fun with her friend so we are taking our oldest daughter to eat so she is having fun too. It is the same thing, I thought maybe he is right.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:30 AM
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I have parents like this too! I am competely amazed at some of the things that they do.

I am sure the 18mo would have been 'too much work' to take along to the zoo.

I grew up with a SHAM and nearly every women I know is a SAHM. I am blow away but the things parents think they can not do with their children with them.

I have child that is 4yrs 11mo and he has NEVER been on a shopping trip or to a store of anykind!!!!!!!
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:30 AM
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wow that sucks for the little guy... why wouldnt she take the other one? I could see if it were a dental apt or doc apt, but hte ZOO what, thats just not right..

I would feel so sad for the little guy..........
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:32 AM
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I think that is sad that she wouldn't take the other one to the zoo and I would make sure to let her know I'm wasn't happy with her leaving me with a crying child.

I had a Mom drop off a 2 year old dcg and she said that she was going to pick the other one up and bring her because she spent the night with her Aunt. She left and everything was just fine, until she came back to drop the other one off. The 2 year old thought she was going home and had a fit, she was screaming when dcm left and was still screaming about it an hour later. Dcm called and wanted to know if she quit crying, I held the phone out so she could hear her and told her the next to go pick up the older one and drop them off together like usual or she would have to take her with dcg with her. She never did it again.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:39 AM
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this makes me want to write in my PHB that if a parent comes to pick up a child and the child has a sibling that they must take both. Too hard for the other child to understand why they are being left behind.

I did change in my PHB this year that I want parents come pick up to go to their apts later in the day so that they dont have to keep coming back and forth and disrupting our lessons at class time.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:44 AM
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I have in my handbook (under open door policy, but it's said so that parents know I mean anytime) when you come to the daycare, be prepared to leave with your child(ren). Like others have said, it would make sense if it were for an appointment or something, but the zoo?? Come on! Kids that age love the zoo - and what parent wouldn't want to take their child to the zoo?
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:50 AM
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I would fill that kid up with cookies and lollipops and then tell mom.. I am so sorry he was screaming and crying for you so bad after you left and this was the only thing that I could do to calm him....lol ok jk...

Im so sad for this little man.....boo on his mommy
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:52 AM
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that is the meanest thing ever. I have to lug 4 kids (my own) usually every where and they are at the age they can stay home, but omg i try and bribe them too to stay home, nope not these guys, they think I do exciting things when they don't come with me.
I have kids who never go to restaurants or stores either, because their parents don't want to deal with the 1 child they have, but i take them to mcdonalds, cc and walmart and they are prefectly fine.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:00 AM
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That's such a crappy thing to do!

I had a family once that had two kids, first a boy, then a girl. I had both from infancy on. After the girl was born they would regularly schedule a "Daddy and son" day or a "Mommy and son" day, leaving the little girl in care for the day. At first I thought, okay, she's a baby, they will take special days to be with her as she gets older. Nope. Not once. Oh, they continued to take the little boy for special days, but never once did they do it for their daughter. I never understood it, and I never will. I imagine that they will pay for it as she gets older. At least I hope so.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:06 AM
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I had a dcm a few years back that told me on a Tuesday that she would be coming at lunch time that day to pick up her 3.5 yr old to take her down to the county fair but was planning on leaving the 1.5 yr old at daycare because he would be too much work for her to take there.

So I immediately planned our daycare field trip to...(Yup, you guessed it!) the fair! I told the parents we would play it by ear and would go when it worked best so they weren't aware of exactly which day we were going just that we were going sometime that week. I am less than 8 blocks to the fairgrounds.

So I walked all 9 of my dck's (minus her dd) down to the fair and low and behold who did we run into? LOL!!! We chatted for a few minutes and they were off but I laughed big time because as they were walking away I could hear her dd screaming that she wanted to come with us instead!

I can see why in some situations it is okay to pick up one and not the other but there are also times when I have to wonder WTH?

In cases where it makes sense and the little one may get upset when they see the parent and can't go with, I usually ask the mom or dad to call me on their cell and let me know they are in the drive way and then I just send the older kid out to them so the younger one never knows what just went down.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:08 AM
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I can totally understand taking one kid somewhere special for a day ... IF you drop ONLY the other kid off in the am and pick him/her up in the pm. Dropping both off and then coming back to only take one with you is cruel, especially when the one left behind is so young. Little ones that age can't tell time, they go solely on routine. When mom comes back, that's when it's home time to him. I imagine he felt completely abandoned. I would feel SO bad for him, poor little guy!
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaBear View Post
The one thing I hate about having a "sibling situation" here in the daycare is when the parent picks up ONE child and leave the other here!!! WHY????

The mom just came & picked up the 4 yr old DCG and left the younger brother (18 month DCB) so she could take the other to the zoo... The younger one was crying at the window when she left because he wanted his mom. I dont think he understood where they were going, but I frickin hate that.

Shes also the mom who SWORE before that she would NEVER be "that" mom who picks up one kid and leaves the other... how mean would that be? Now she is "that" mom. I understand if she was taking her to the dr or if she was sick... but how do you just take ONE of your kids to the zoo and not both?!

Some people...
I have never had that happen. How sad for the 18 month old. She could take a stroller for goodness sake. I have taken 4 toddlers to the zoo before and it was kinda hectic but they all had fun and got to enjoy the zoo together. Maybe the DCM has been spending more time with the 18 month old tho. Who knows why Moms do what they do.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:25 AM
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This is SO sad. It is shocking that parents can't handle their own kids, some can't even handle one kid. I take all my kids out for walks all the time, no problem. Some walk, some in the stroller and I occasionally baby wear the smallest. I have two parents in particular (different kids) that admit they don't go anywhere with their kids. One of my DCGs is 20 months and when we invited her to my older daughters birthday, the mom said she had no nice clothes because she never goes anywhere. All she has is daycare clothes and pajamas. How is that possible??! I guess she doesn't even run errands with her and stuff. The other family has a 2.5 year old that is just wild for them. It will take sometimes 20 minutes to get to my doorway, to their car and then into the car seat. This same girl walks right beside me to the park and back. No running, no sassiness or anything.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I would fill that kid up with cookies and lollipops and then tell mom.. I am so sorry he was screaming and crying for you so bad after you left and this was the only thing that I could do to calm him....lol ok jk...

Im so sad for this little man.....boo on his mommy
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:27 AM
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I could see if she just wanted to have some 1 on 1 time with her son. I love that idea actually and wish I had more opportunities to have that with my own children. But I think that she should have started the day off that way and not picked up mid day. That doesn't seem very fair to the little guy
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:32 AM
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I'm a Mom who will purposely only take one of my kids with me and leave the others home if I'm going somewhere. My kids need time with me individually, and I don't see anything wrong with that. It doesn't make me a bad parent.

In your DCM's situation though....I would have dropped the younger one off alone in the first place - that is just cruel to come to pick up only the older one when they're used to being picked up together.
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Old 04-12-2011, 11:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I had a dcm a few years back that told me on a Tuesday that she would be coming at lunch time that day to pick up her 3.5 yr old to take her down to the county fair but was planning on leaving the 1.5 yr old at daycare because he would be too much work for her to take there.

So I immediately planned our daycare field trip to...(Yup, you guessed it!) the fair! I told the parents we would play it by ear and would go when it worked best so they weren't aware of exactly which day we were going just that we were going sometime that week. I am less than 8 blocks to the fairgrounds.

So I walked all 9 of my dck's (minus her dd) down to the fair and low and behold who did we run into? LOL!!! We chatted for a few minutes and they were off but I laughed big time because as they were walking away I could hear her dd screaming that she wanted to come with us instead!

I can see why in some situations it is okay to pick up one and not the other but there are also times when I have to wonder WTH?

In cases where it makes sense and the little one may get upset when they see the parent and can't go with, I usually ask the mom or dad to call me on their cell and let me know they are in the drive way and then I just send the older kid out to them so the younger one never knows what just went down.
I love this! I have done the same thing with the pool in the summer time. Same thing happened they saw us and DCB3 wanted to hang out with the group. She sat beside us and was kept saying I don't know how you do it. The kids are super well behavied, they never leave the area I ask them to stay in, the three year olds use the slide alone (made for toddlers and attended by a lifegaurd ten feet from where I sit). Yes they need little reminders now and then and I never take my eyes off of them, but for the most part it is a stress free FUN sumemr day. I LOVE to do special trips with all of the kids....listening to them talk about they fun they had is the BEST part of my job.

If I only had one kid to take to the pool, zoo, or fair I would be lost. I plan to quit daycare with in two years to start a family of my own and I am terrified that I will be bored out of my mind with only one.

The only way I can wrap my head around parents like this is to think back to when I was an accountant and I HATED it. I couldn't handle it and it drove me crazy. It was not my thing.....I unfourtunaly think parenting just isn't "their thing" We are all good at something and while all of us here can manage 3-12 kids in public it is hard for us to understand that not everyone can. I couls not walk into any of my DCP offices and do their job and they couldnt do mine.
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Old 04-12-2011, 11:25 AM
MamaBear MamaBear is offline
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She should have just only dropped the younger one off in the morning and not both of them. Thats what I dont understand either. Why drop them both off here for a couple hours and then come pick up just the one for the zoo. And she wasnt secretive about it either. She was telling her daughter "are you ready to see the monkeys and the hippos?" all loud with the younger one right there. He knew what she was saying.

I think I am going to change my contract to state that they have to take BOTH children in a sibling situation - unless its a dr appt. Sometimes I think if one is sick then they should take them both too. Since that one might be the monkey carrier of whatever disease the other one has.

I love your story (BlackCat31) about the fair! That is awesome! She HAD to feel like the biggest loser seeing you handle the fair with all those kids! Thats freakin awesome!

It amazes me how some of these parents never take their own kids to Target or Walmart with them for shopping trips and how its SO hard for them! Its crazy to me!!! And it always seems like those same parents just keep pumping out more kids when they couldnt even handle the first one!! Well... at least it keeps me in business! hahaha
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Old 04-12-2011, 12:48 PM
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Well let's hope she takes a special trip next week with the 18 month old.

The zoo - I don't get it though - BOTH would enjoy that trip and easy enough to put the 18 month old in a stroller unless he's one of those kids that hates being in one.

I found that strollers and cheerios were a great combo!
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Old 04-12-2011, 03:00 PM
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I have 2 that are 1/2 siblings, ages 4 and 2. Sometimes the 4 yr old's dad will pick her up and she will spend the rest of the day and sleep over at his house. Well, her brother goes crazy because she left and he didn't. They have the same mom. He cries and cries. Normally, her dad will pick her up between 2-3 and the normal pickup time is close to 5, so I have to deal with that for 2-3 hours.
Once, their g-ma picked up girl and left the boy because a relatiave was visiting and they picked them up at the airport. I don't get people.
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Old 04-12-2011, 04:07 PM
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Glass half full
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The Mom is looking at it like this: Daycare provider gets afternoon with only one of my kids instead of both for the same amount of money. Lucky daycare provider.
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