newmommy 02:09 PM 08-28-2009
My dd started daycare yesterday and has been crying almost nonstop for both days. She'll stop for a few 5-15 minute clips or to take a 30-minute nap, but other than that it's nonstop crying. She's not been colicky the whole 12 weeks we've been at home.
Has this happened to anyone else? Is there anything I or my care provider can do to help her adjust better? Hearing that she's crying all day makes me want to cry myself.
Chickenhauler 02:11 AM 08-30-2009
Few questions up front-
First child?
Do you tend to hold/carry the child alot at home?
Has the child had the opportunity to interact with other adults, specifically without you present, and how does the child react to that?
Not bashing you (first time parents are always nervous, they don't want their bundle of joy out of their sight), but it sounds like the child is having withdrawal issues. It's normal, it's part of growing up and maturing, we all went through it. Better now than 5 years old.
A favorite blanket that may smell like you, a favorite toy, mainly something familiar is the key.
seashell 05:23 PM 08-31-2009
I don't think seperation anxiety can be the problem in a child this young. It could be a sensory issue. The lighting is too bright, the noise level is too high. Do you hold your child all day? This could also be an issue. Ask the provider to swaddle your child and see if this helps.
newmommy 07:40 AM 09-01-2009
I do hold her a lot at home. We've been doing attachment parenting, and I'm wondering now if that was a mistake. My first two days at work, she was at my parents' house, watched by my mom and dad on the first day, and my aunt on the second day. She did fine with them, only crying for about an hour during the whole day. It was just since I've switched her to daycare that it changed.
She cries even when the daycare provider holds her (which is a lot). I sent her with 2 toys from home, a jacket with my scent on it, and my Ergo baby carrier, which usually calms her at home.
newmommy 07:42 AM 09-01-2009
Oh yes, I am a first-time mom. Could you tell? :-)
Thanks for the tip about swaddling. I will ask her to try it.
mac60 09:06 AM 09-01-2009
To do attachment parents and not stay home with your child is from my understanding kind of hard to do. You can't honestly expect a dc provider to carry your child around on them all day in some type of sling. I would never do it, my back would never cut it.
Sometimes parents need to make choices in the decisions of their young ones, as some choices are not feasible when a child is in daycare. Swaddling does work on my babies.
newmommy 10:42 AM 09-01-2009
I use the term "attachment parenting" loosely. i don't expect her to carry her around in a sling all day. But I think we may have figured out the problem anyway. The daycare provider is nursing her 4 month old as well. We're thinking my daughter smells her milk and is upset that she can't have it out of the breast - that would explain why she was okay all day with my aunt but not at daycare. Not sure what the solution is...
Danielle 05:18 PM 01-06-2011
First off, you've done nothing wrong!! I am a home daycare provider and a mom that practices attachment parenting. I have babies (now and past) that have moms that's have the same parenting views. Trying to bottle feed someone else's nursling and being a nursing mom does have difficulties. But it's possible. Each baby I have to figure out what's best for that baby. One baby only ate facing away from me. One, I couldn't hold while feeding. Another I had to have a blanket from home draped on my shoulder. While another didn't seem to notice. I have a Mei Tei, Moby and a Maya wrap. Some babies prefer different ones. I see nothing wrong with expecting a provider to hold your baby as much as they need...yes, the need it at that age. This is why I only have 1 baby in my care at a time. Babywearing is great b/c it calms the baby but my hands are still free to care for the toddler. The baby I have in my care now was alot like your child. The first week or so, he spent alot of time in the sling with me dancing. He did adjust. If your provider is not willing to do what it takes to make your baby happy, find another provider. Infants are demanding and if a provider is going to care for one, they have to be prepared for that.
And last but not least.. many hugs!
denack 01:28 PM 03-09-2011
I know where you are coming from as my 9 month old did the same thing at day care to the point that I had to find a new day care. He is doing so much better because he actually has kids close to his own age to interact with. Keep your chin up and don't get discouraged!
momma2girls 06:28 AM 01-07-2011
Originally Posted by newmommy:
My dd started daycare yesterday and has been crying almost nonstop for both days. She'll stop for a few 5-15 minute clips or to take a 30-minute nap, but other than that it's nonstop crying. She's not been colicky the whole 12 weeks we've been at home.
Has this happened to anyone else? Is there anything I or my care provider can do to help her adjust better? Hearing that she's crying all day makes me want to cry myself.
I have had 3 colicky babies in my care over all the yrs. of providing daycare. I finally had to terminate 2 of them, it was just too much for me, and it's not fair to all the other children in your daycare. I remember my BP was rising so high, with the last one, that I almost had to go on bedrest, because I was pregnant at the same time. Once I stopped providing daycare for that child, it was absolutely normal, and I delivered on time. Even the most patient daycare provider can only handle so much. If you have triend everything you can on your end, you will have to make a decision on you and your daycare. Is it worth it, all the stress? the stress on all the other children? Good luck and be strong!!!
UnaphyPhapado 05:38 PM 03-08-2011
I am so happy he is doing so well. Much love and prayers Hows Tony and his sister handling all this??? Are they proud as well???