I'm burnt out folks. 3 years in the home daycare business and not much time off. 10 hour days plus cleaning at the end of the day/50+ hour weeks plus planning, cleaning and shopping time. I'm worn all the way through with no reserves.

Last year we started scheduling 2 weeks off, one in the summer and one at Christmas time. It's helped but I've got 8 weeks till my summer vacay and I"m dragging big time.

I want to schedule a personal day off. Take a long weekend. I don't have that written into my contract but it was last October when I took a day off for sickness, we are rarely (maybe twice a year) closed due to illness. So I don't feel bad about closing for a day. I only have 5 other holidays this year.

One of my parent's just took a bunch of time off to have plastic surgery and i know she's gonna get upset if I have to close for a day. She always does anyway. But whatever.

So I'm rambling, sorry. I want to know what do you guys do when you're burnt out? How do you prevent it from happening?

Thanks!!

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I got an assistant. Its just not reasonable to do it all yourself all the time especially if you have kids of your own, a spouse, a household to keep afloat. (plus I am very pregnant and finishing my college degree!) It does help if you have a spouse that really chips in significantly but otherwise, you just have to find a way to schedule in some time for yourself.

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Schedule two weeks per year Family Vacation.

Mark yourself closed for all Stat Holidays PAID. Memorial Day, 4th of July...etc.... If the schools/banks are closed, you close.

That should give you evenly spaced out 3 day weekends and two week long breaks during the year. Keeps you from resenting the parents and increases your motivation with the kids.

I don't charge for the two vacation weeks, but do for the Stats. Most charge for all....my region just won't support it.

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How much do you pay an assistant? How many days do you have one?

This sounds interesting to me, I've never considered it. Though I only have 3 daycare kids, I have 3 kids of my own (two are in school all day but still there is after school and extra curricular and homework etc.)

Although maybe I just need a house cleaner? That would be nice. Maybe when my husband gets the promotion in a few months.


Catherder: That's a good idea. I usually just schedule off the major holidays (4th of July, Thanksgiving etc.) but I like the idea of taking all the holidays off. I really do need the extra break. Would you change the vacation schedule now or wait till the new year to do it?

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I totally feel you! I only watch 2 kids plus my 2 year old. Many days i get up and just don't want to watch any kids. I have thought about not doing in home childcare but then that means putting my dd in a daycare which means putting out a lot of money which we don't have..
I have wanted to take a personal day just to stay sane... but i feel bad for the 2 parents i have who never take off. I also have a vac coming in July which i CAN NOT wait for! An assistant is out of the question since i only have 2 kids and a cleaning person is out to due to lack of money. Sometimes I just have to go along and just count down till July. That's all I can do!

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You could just do a:

"It has recently come to my attention that I made a few oversights on your current 2011-2012 Calendar. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. I will be sending out an updated Closings Calendar this Friday. Please make note of the changes. Thanks in advance for your patience."

I have also seen many a provider just do a "Monthly Closings Reminder" since most of the parents miss the first one or two anyway after having tossed it without reading it or making a note of it on their calendar...

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Catherder: I like your wording, I do send out closing reminders and most parents wouldn't know the difference if I added a few during the year They hardly respond to emails or anything unless it effects them negativly

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oh take all the holidays off. I don't schedual vacation time for me, but I let everyone know that when I need a day off I will take it. So maybe once a month take a day off to catch up. I also have a mom who complains and she takes all the time off to do her errands and she had gastric bypass surgury done, it was fine when she took it off but when I told her I was taking 10 days off to go to florida you would have thought I was never going to come back. Oh, always offer backup care too so they can do whatever they choose.
I also think its this time of year, its raining again here everyone is nutty, its awful that we can't do anything and since its not sunny outside I find it depressing too.

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I get paid no matter what. All bank holidays, vacation, any day the daycare is closed even if I am sick or its an emergency. Now I have never had a sick day in four years (even though I have been sick) and only two or three emergencies so I don't take advantage of my own policy. I have 3 full timers (about to lose one), one part timer, two kids of my own with another on the way (all at home all day). I have a college age girl that normally comes two mornings a week, two hours each morning and I pay her $8 per hour. This allows for appointments and errands. Now that I am at the end of my pregnancy, she is coming every day. When she works full time during my maternity leave (or an occasional full day outside that), I pay her $6.50 per hour because there is a long nap time when no one is up but she still has to be in the house. Occasionally I have her do some cleaning but it is almost always just the backyard, playroom and daycare bathroom. This was my compromise in keeping my sanity and continuing to do daycare. Previously, I was doing all of this on my own every day and my husband was working two jobs. I did not even see him four days out of the week. Needless to say, I had a huge meltdown this winter and made some changes!

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If you find the answer would you let me know ASAP?! I am currently suffering from a MAJOR case of burn out. I work 60 hours a week. ALL paperwork, cleaning, planning, shopping, and cooking is my responcablity alone. I do have a partner and used to run at full capacity but she started to get burnt out and has a family at home( 2 teen age boys and a husband) I am live alone and have no children. In order to keep the daycare open I allowed enrollment to drop to a level where I was allowed to care for the children alone all but one day a week (when we have part timers that up our numbers). She also works on average one morning or afternoon a week. This has been the plan for two years. She is also not the most pleasent person to work with and it is VERY stress full when she is here bc she basicly knows nothing about how our day runs any more but want to run things the old way.

I within the last few months have started to suffer from my won burn out. I am finished. I no longer find much joy in my day. I work too much and have a couple of challenging/annoying children (no reason to term just loud, dramatic kids) and she is all happy go lucky when she comes in and thinks I am beign too much of a grump.

p.s. I don't need any breaks, personal days, late starts, or early outs bc I don't have a family of my own to take care of.

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you need to get out of your house....you also need some YOU time. I was on burn out a few months back and started picking everything in my life apart. After a few days of it I realized that I never made time for myself. I never met up wtih friends, heck I didn't do anything to make friends.

Our job gets hard, because we are stuck in our house which we live in and often don't get to hold real conversations with adults. It starts to wear on you. Not to mention when you have your own family and they dont understand how you feel.

I just started leaving the house. The heck with trying to keep everything clean, organized, and the way I wanted it. i changed my schedule so that I could clean the house in the morning before daycare started. Otherwise, it's like rolling a rock up a hill. Just keeps on coming back at you.

I also joined a jogging group so that I could make friends. I even picked up a new client like that as well.....
I also plan small weekend get aways for the hubby and I so that I always have something to look forward to. That really keeps me going...and don't plan them too far away so that they are not in sight......

Dont sweat the small stuff and focus on you when you feel like this. May sound selfish, but if you aren't in a good state of mind, then you're no good to anyone.....It's ok for moms to be selfish every once in awhile....

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daycare I think you are so right! It's the almost eternal time I spend in my house that is so monotonous and working with small children is not very mentally challenging.

I don't have any friends really. I know one person who used to come by during the week with her child but let's face it, when you run a daycare you can't hold a conversation with another adult. It's too distracting with a kid coming up every 30 seconds about something.

I don't even know how to make friends at this stage in life. All the women I meet in my neighborhood don't seem interested in being friends. I think sometimes it's b/c I live in a upper class neighborhood and they look down their noses at me b/c I am not just a stay at home mom and I watch other people's children. You know, I'm the "hired help". I don't know where to meet normal people.

And getting out is great and I used to get the kids out with me to go to the playground and the library story time. But now with this new kid (see my post in venting...) I can't leave the house.

I try to get up super early but I open at 7:30 and most mornings I get up around 6:30 to try to fit in some yoga which helps but that's been sliding b/c I'm so tired, just plain exhausted. I can't imagine getting up even earlier to clean.

Guess I better keep trying to get up really early to have some time to myself and just keep looking forward to that vacation in June!

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when I say get out of the house...I meant you get out of the house after DC is over....no kids in tow.........i know its not possible to do everyday, but at least once or twice a week....some where in those 7 days....

My husband workds two jobs by choice, not because he has to. therefore, I never and i mean never get to see him, nor do my kids... It's really hard because I have no support and no one to ever help.... I was at wits end and was about to jump......then one day I woke up and said ahhhhh heck screw it all.....lol sorry I had potty mouth that day...

I feel so much better....and hey don't worry about what the others think of you... Don't limit yourself.....who knows, you may end up being best friends with some of them or even end up picking up a kid or two from them...but I know what you mean....i live in a keeping up with the jone's kinda area too.....and I am not the Jones'....lol

find a schedule that works for you where you aren't in a battle....also get your own kids to help where and when they can......makes a world of a difference..

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Wait, the grocery store doesn't count as an outing???

I know you are right, I could go somewhere, anywhere, I just don't know where I guess. But I should, even if I just drive around.

My older kids do help out as their schedules allow. My daughter works and goes to high school and is preparing for a trip to Taiwan so she's kinda been busy and my son is helpful but he mostly mows the yard etc.

I try to talk to my family but I know they don't understand about the burn out feeling.

And I don't really worry about what the other ladies I've met think, I don't care. But I know even after multiple invites they don't drop by or come visit. I can't figure out what else the problem would be. I'm pretty educated, I shower daily, I don't smoke or drink etc.

How dirty do all you guys let your house get? I think a lot of my stress is from feeling like I gotta clean the house every single night. I mean, I work out of my home and it's the first thing clients see every morning so I want it to be nice and orderly and clean. But when you get up around 6 in the morning and you don't sit down at night until 10pm there is something wrong there right?

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about the house... I clean as I go..it is also my biggest stress. Dinner time is the worst, my older two make a big mess and then often dont clean well...I really cant expect them to clean to my standards... But I want it cleaned by them if they use it regardless.

I tend to focus on one room a day that I clean top to bottom. Usually its the area that the DCP see when coming in... I have a check list...
first kid arrives at 715, others at 830
this is the time that I use to clean and get stuff ready for DC

1. check for all saftey of the house...any scissors laying around, plugs out of walls and etc.
2. how does the entry way look, tidy up
3. front bathroom, make sure trash is out and clean up any necessary ends
4. do I really need to run the vacuum again? (I always run it at 5:00 pm day before)
5. water all the plants
6. set up DC table and get food ready to go

I dont even bother with my bedroom in the morning or anyones bedroom.

Every day as DCK eat, I clean and same for projects. One toy out at a time rule,
DCK clean up at 4:45, we read until 5:00.
5:00 the vacuum the carpet and get the DCK to help clean anything that they used and have them get ready to go home.
5:30 pick up starts....almost all of my cleaning is done by then.
6:00 last pick up and by then I am all cleaned up.
I prepare each day for the next before the DC even closes.

the only mess I have left is the ones that my own kids make. I expect them to clean up after themself....if they dont, they lose out on their electronics and then I get to clean up in the morning OR I even wake them up to do it sometimes before school..

On the weekends, I recently started just letting everything go...otherwise i stress about it all the time... Sunday, I make everyone get up by 9am and from 10am to 1 we clean the entire house......My kids know better than to make plans on sundays.......

also, do you have contracted hours or come when they want?

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The way I deal with it is to just suck it up. I chose this so that I didn't have a boss, a commute, "work clothes", office gossip and b.s., etc., etc. I've done it for 17 years. Yes, there are those days, believe me!

What I do for vacation days is a little bit different than you. I schedule them throughout the year. At the beginning of the year, my husband and I decide when we want to have our long weekends, and I make out a schedule and give it to all the parents by mid-January. I usually take about 6 or 7 days off, and I get the 7 typical holidays off. Sometimes I will schedule one of my days off to fall the Friday before a Monday holiday, so it turns into a 4-day weekend. Also, if we are planning to go out of town, I will have kids picked up by 1:00 pm that day so we can beat the traffic. I have 4 of those this year.

Anyway, that's how I do it. My schedule is set at the beginning of the year and pretty much never changes, unless there is a big emergency. So I always have a day off coming up soon to look forward to.

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I just have hours of operation not contracted hours.

I like the idea of cleaning before every one is gone. This actually makes good sense to me. I have the kids pick up at 12:30 and 4:30. I could put on a show for them around 5pm and then do my cleaning and vacuum. That way when the last child is gone I can be DONE! I usually put a show on for them around 5pm anyway, I figure if we made it through the day without TV and we're all still alive and sane then it's fine to watch an hour or so at that time!

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I actually did this at the end of last year. I do it every other week, just the basics... sweep, mop, kitchen counters and sink, clean the bathrooms, dust and vaccuum the whole house, clean the mirrors. It is AWESOME and is the best money I spend. I pay her $14/hour and she is usually here for 2 hours or less. It is worth it!

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I had two little ones start in January-18 months each but before that I would clean from 6:30-8:30 A.M. but with them here I can't leave my daycare room because I'm so worried that they will get hurt somehow if I'm not right there because they are both accident prone as it is. They both get here between 6:45-7:00 so my two hours of cleaning are actually shot now. Then I would clean for about 1 1/2 hours at night so my house was staying so nice but not now-I can barely stay on top of my laundry. Is putting me almost into a depression because I hate how my house is starting to look. Even with my husband and kids helping there just isn't enough time in the evening to do it all.

Also, I've done this almost 14 years. Here is my question-I started this year taking all state holidays/regular holidays off. Total for the year is maybe 10 for the year. What do you think would be a reasonable amount of weeks to take for vacation? Most jobs after this long would give you 4-6 weeks with all the other holidays also. Do you think that would be over kill for childcare. I was thinking I could take a week vacation about every 3 months and I actually do not charge my parents for when I take time off so they would esentially be earning about 6 weeks if I took 4 weeks vacation and then my holidays. They may have to pay another person but it wouldn't be like they are double paying.

Any thoughts out there?

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I think it depends on where you live. Where I live, that is quite a bit of time off, but I understand your wanting to do it. I don't have a set amount of time I take. It varies from year to year depending on my needs with my family. I take 8 pd holidays and then any other days I close are unpaid. Some years we take a family vacation, like last year we went to Florida for 9 days. I think not counting my holidays I had 11 days off.. the 9 for vacation and 2 sick days. It wasn't enough because I wasn't home to play "catch up" for any of them. I am determined this year, vacation or not, to have a couple days for me. Well, one for me and one for me and DS.

I guess my thought would be, back up care is hard to find. I know everyone SHOULD have it, and it's really not our problem as providers. But I know when I worked outside the home, I didn't have any family where we lived, and we were new to town and didn't know anyone. I found a great sitter but when she closed, one of us had to take a day off. We did it, and never once complained, but if she had taken that many, I don't know what we would have done because DH had 2 weeks vacation time and I had one. That is only three weeks... not including ANY days that we might want to take. Just one side of it. As the provider, I get frustrated because I get minimal time off (and none paid) but watch my parents take multiple days off and bring me their kids anyway. I just had to adjust my budget for the month because I had to close for two funerals and didn't get paid for them. Ugh.

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I know about getting minimal time off! For our Spring Break I had the parents fill out and let me know if they needed time me. One parent needed me all week, another needed me 3 days, and then another needed me 1 day. Well the week of spring break it all changed-the one that needed me all week only needed me 3 days-they left to go out of town, the one needing me 3 days changed it to two and then the one that only needed me one changed it to two. I only had one day off to be with my kids and vowed I either have the whole week booked next week or I will just take it off. The sad thing is that two of the parents are teachers-why not be with your kids?

This is why I'm really thinking of schedules some set vacations. My family counts also and do only have one child with you and your stuck not able to go anywhere is not fair to your own children.

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think about contracted hours.... seriously, I don't know how I would do it without the contracted hours. I know when each kid comes in and goes out. this really helps me with the planning of my day. I know which kids will need more supervision and the ones that dont when I am cleaning.....

the ones that need more supervision will have to help me with the chores....most of them love it....
dont be afraid to let the DCK help you....also don't let them make an over whelming mess. adapt the one toy out at a time rule and the DCR always gets cleaned before we move onto the next activity no matter what....

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Can you tell me how contracted hours work? I don't know if this would work for me anyway b/c two of my kids have to come early and stay until 5:45pm and I close at 6pm anyway.

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so basically instead of parents brining their kids when ever they feel like it, they are set to contracted hours....EX
***X DC operates daily Monday through Friday from 8:00 Am to 6:00 Pm. Your hours that your child will attend will be determined during your trial period, and agreed to in your contract. Pleas abide by the times set forth in your contract.

ex: I have one kid who needs to come from 7:30-6:00 so this is the time that he is dropped off and picked up daily.... if he is earlier than 8:00 am I charge a fee, if he stay later than 6:00 pm I charge a fee outside of those times...

Then I have other kids that are contracted from 8:30-5:30 same rules apply.

so basically, they have set times that they can use the DC, not the full hours that i operate, unless you want to pay me more..

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Yes!!!! I am making an effort to show my family this. I took Monday off to do something with DS school. I haven't been in his classroom at all this year

Don't you HATE when people are off work and bring their kids?!? Esp. if you only have their kids, or a couple kids. I want NOTHING more than time with my son, and frankly, it pi$$es me off when people dump their kids so they can go play or sleep, or whatever. I know, I'm getting paid, but it's $20 for goodness sakes. Aren't your kids worth more than that? I'm getting a backbone, slowly but surely. I've already decided that next year, I'm closing on Good Friday. And this year, I will be taking a two or three days off just to be with my family while DS is on Christmas break. Sorry, but I can't imagine that I will EVER look back and be sorry for putting my child and my marriage first.

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geeerr I used to not care at all what the parents were doing while thier kid was here. But then I started to realize that I have one kid who is here every friday until 6pm. He is the only one here and guess what.........his parents dont work on fridays.....

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that makes me mad too. When had school/work and had to take my older two to home daycare the first thing I did when done is rush straight over to pick them up!!

I don't understand parents not wanting to be with their children!

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I recently had some parent's hours change, and now, two days a week I only have one DCG after 4:00, usually after 3:45. I know mom's hours are flexible because she brings at all diff random times in the mornings. I am considering asking them if on one of those two days, they could pick her up by 4, or at least 4:15. That would be so nice to have that extra hour with DS, or imagine this! An ability to do ANYTHING. Every where I need to go.. bank, post office, dr, vet, etc closes at 5 so I can never go anywhere. Imagine being able to schedule an appointment!

Do you think that's a terrible thing to ask? She would have the ability to bring her earlier on that day...

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You DO need breaks and personal days! These prevent burnout; they are not just for spending time with family. The only way I get through the burnout is looking forward to my next day off even though I have no kids of my own and have all the weekends off. I schedule time just for me and it makes a huge difference.

I'd ask. The worse that can happen is she says no. I have only two kids right now and one is half day. I'm constantly begging the other family to pick up as early as possible because the kid gets so bored being the only one. I'm lucky as his mom completely understands and has been picking him up by 4 quite often but is looking forward to me having another kid in care so that she can some 'me' time after work.

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I do this, acually I tell the kids not to make a mess because the big kids are going to be home and will be mad if they have to clean up their mess (its my kids that come home from school) and it works really good. I'll wipe things down during the day too like the toothpaste from the bathroom sink.

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this is a new thing for me too, as I'm finding people want to leave their kids here all day. People who work have contracted hours and I think everyone should too.

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So having the kids clean up at 4:30 like usual yesterday and then me starting my tidying and vacuuming and letting them watch a show really worked. After that I didn't allow them to play anymore. The options were watch TV or read a book until you get picked up which is usually between 5:30 and 5:45. That is okay right? It worked wonders for me!

Then I talked to my husband and we agreed that most nights of the week we could have sandwiches or cereal for dinner and I'd only cook 3 or 4 nights per week. That gives me an extra hour or hour and a half of time to do something else other than chores. I'm actually feeling positive today.

The third thing that I have decided is to let the new boy I took on last month go. He's exhausting and contributing to my burn out big time. At this point I'd rather have a spot open than work with him. Today he is not here and our day is flowing wonderfully.

So I have hopes that my burn out will begin to fade with these things in place.

Thanks for helping me talk this out. For the last week I've thought that I was headed to the institution! I usually love my job and love working with kids. But I'm needing a break!

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yeah glad it is working.... I am happy to hear that you are seeing light at the end of teh tunnel..

Yes of course it is ok to let the kids watch a tv show or read a book. I don't do TV, but I have them read books or help me out. The helper is usually the one that gives me trouble.

Also gald to see that you are not going to be spending all of your nights in the kitchen cooking. Trust me that is what kills me.. Especially when I have to cook meat for the hubby and kids...lol Im vegan.... my meals are simple hahahah

take a break this weekend and glad to see your spirits are up..

also good job on letting your trouble kid go.....boy does that make a world of a difference....

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haha I was saying this sacasticly. This is what she tells me. I am made to feel guilty and lazy for any minute I am away during business hours. 'I get off time when we are closed.' She absolutly refuses to believe that there is any realson I should not be here 24/7. I have not had one hour off in four years. Not a sick day, early Friday, or appt. (well other than Holidays)

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Goodness! Can you find a new "partner"? I say "partner" b/c she's not contributing anything. Of course you're burnt out.

This needs to stop or you can get physically sick from it. I was under a lot of stress before taking care of a terminally ill person and it really can impact your blood pressure, you're diabetes risk, everything! Your health is your most important asset!

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Thanks for all your advice and thanks for the above quote too. I feel bad letting them go b/c it's not for any reason other than I just can't handle the kid. He's wild! But I guess it's my business and I can work with who I wish to work with. I just feel bad thinking that way. On the other hand though it's self-preservation!

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