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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Don’t Like This Woman
MamaBear 02:26 PM 11-10-2011
I have a 1 yr old boy I've been watching for about 9 months now. The baby is great and I have no problems with him... It's his insensitive mother that really ticked me off yesterday.

Basically I'm closed this Friday for Veterans Day. I do this every year - especially since my husband IS a Veteran and still active duty. I am also closed the week of Thanksgiving which I do EVERY year. And I also have one day scheduled closed when my husband is leaving for his deployment to Afghanistan early December.

This Thanksgiving is very special to us since he's leaving soon after and it's a VERY emotional day for me when he leaves for deployment, and for my 3 sons. So of course I'd close that day to see him off. All of my daycare parents have been super supportive and sweet and they all said "of course you need to close that day" with no questions asked...except this one mom.

Basically yesterday when the mom was picking up her son, she makes a comment about how she doesnt get Veterans day off work & how her other older son does not have Veterans day off OR the week of Thanksgiving off from his preschool center that he goes to. So she will have to take time off work to keep the baby home since I AM closed. She has known that I take these holidays of since forever, so it should be no big surprise. She then mumbled something about how frustrating it is.

REALLY???? I was sooo shocked how she was being so rude. It's not like I'm closing for no reasons. Shes from England and has this very know-it-all way about her. Anyway - I basically just said that sucks that she doesn't get holidays off like Veterans day and I told her that maybe she needs to find backup childcare so she doesn't have to miss work. I felt numb and couldn't think of what to say on the spot for some reason. I think I was too mad. She left and that was it. But all last night I was fuming at her insensitivity.

I dont expect her to give me sympathy that my husband is leaving for 7 months... but JUST DONT question the closures. Especially now. I'd like to see how she'd handle her husband being gone that long. She freaks out if her husband is gone for 2 freakin days!!!

I ended up going on the website for her other son's preschool and they ARE closed for Veterans day and they ARE closed the entire week of Thanksgiving too! And a week for Christmas!! So why would she even lie and say that to me - to try to make me feel bad or guilty for closing?!?!? It didnt make me feel bad, it just pissed me off (big time) that she would complain to me about it. Really?!?!

I'm going to say something to her today about how I found out that her other son's preschool IS closed tomorrow and for Thanksgiving week. Also how important these closure dates are for me. I am so on edge with her right now that if she says one thing negative about my husband deploying and me closing that I'm going to terminate her on the spot. Maybe I'm being super emotional, but this really upsets me. ARGHHH...

Okay.. I just needed to vent that. Sighhhhh....
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Kaddidle Care 02:37 PM 11-10-2011
Oh my! She actually has to take a day off to be with her baby! The horrors!

Please remind me - why do these people have children?

Try to let it roll of your back. She is selfish and single minded and can't see past her own nose.

Your dates have been set for along time so the problem is hers. Not your fault she didn't line up anyone to care for her child in advance.
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CheekyChick 02:49 PM 11-10-2011
How RUDE!!!

I would simply say this:

I thought about our conversation yesterday and it's clear that you cannot sympathize with me regarding my husband's 7 month deployment. I find that to be unsettling, especially since I would feel for you if the situation were reverse. Regardless... I know your eldest son's school is closed for Veteran's Day and the week of Thanksgiving - just as my facility is. You gave me a hard time over this which I found to be completely inappropriate - especailly since you were given these dates in advance. If you cannot comply with my policies or dates of closure, you may want to find a daycare that would better suit your needs.
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MyAngels 02:49 PM 11-10-2011
I would say, with a big ol' smile on my face: "Good news snarky nasty mom - I looked on the websites for your kids' schools and they are closed for both Veteran's Day and the week of Thanksgiving! Aren't you excited that you're going to get to spend some wonderful quality time with the kids while I get to spend some quality time with my wonderful hero of a husband, who is sacrificing so much to serve our great country?"

Oh, and my thanks to your husband for his service, as well
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MamaBear 03:04 PM 11-10-2011
Thanks Kaddidle... She has known since she first started here so I agree with you 100%! And yes - how awful that she'd actually have to spend time with her OWN baby, huh? Sheesh. Thank you!

CheekyChick: Omg... Thats awesome!!! I hope I can remember to say that word for word. That is PERFECT!!!

MyAngels: That sounds perfect too!!! And thank you for your nice comment.

I'm definitely going to give her some words today and I'm praying they come out right. Her husband dropped off this morning so I havent seen her since yesterday afternoon. Sometimes when I'm sooo mad, I just cant get out what I'm trying to say. So I'm hoping I can say it very clearly to her today to make myself feel better. She can take her little snarky butt somewhere else for all I care.

Thanks guys for all your advice
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CheekyChick 03:07 PM 11-10-2011
You're so welcome.

Maybe you should write little notes on the palm of your hand.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
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misspollywog 03:21 PM 11-10-2011


Just to spite her, I would add "National Day Care Providers Day" to your holiday list. When she says she hasn't heard of it, tell her we here instituted it in your honor.
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sharlan 03:23 PM 11-10-2011
Tomorrow is the first Veteran's Day I have ever taken off. The only reason I am is because I need to help my mom out.

I understand your need to take tomorrow and the week of Thanksgiving off. You family is facing a rough time and you need the time together. It's too bad that she can't understand that.

I would just ignore her insensitivity and move on. You can't get through to people like that.


Thoughts and prayers to your family.
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laundrymom 03:41 PM 11-10-2011
Ok first and foremost, thank you. Please know that there are a lot of people, like me who send you our love, thanks and appreciation. Please let your dh know I thank him. I was blessed to grow up military. It is something engraved into your soul and I want To take a moment to say thank you.

Secondly, tell ms high and mighty to hush her mouth. Here are the words I would use

Jenny, I know that on the rare occasion I close it inconveniences you. I'm truly sorry that you don't get a paid day off. I understand that staying home with the baby while Jared is at preschool is hard. Maybe you could network with another mom at jareds preschool ? I need to do this for my family. My husband deserves this and I'm sorry if you can't understand my reasons. I am honestly surprised and hurt at your reaction and how you are handling this. It is not negotiable though.

Then do the quiet, uncomfortable stare.

Good luck sweety, you should not have to deal with such disrespect from someone like this. I'm sorry for her behavior. She should be ashamed.
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pfund2233 03:43 PM 11-10-2011
I am taking an unexpected day off (January 3rd) due to my little brother leaving for 3mo for basic training for the US Army. I was waiting for parents to ask why I was taking such and odd day off but they didn't! I guess they respect me and my privicy more than I may have thought. It helps I gave them alot of notice tho too. But come graduation that might be different because I guess they don't let the soldiers know in a timly manner. And well this is something I wouldn't miss for the world!!

I thank your husband and my little bro for doing what they do!! With out them your little "English" mama wouldn't be able to have some of the freedoms and perks she gets living in the USA!! She should be thanking your husband for what he dose and thanking you for supporting him!!
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Heidi 04:33 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
How RUDE!!!

I would simply say this:

I thought about our conversation yesterday and it's clear that you cannot sympathize with me regarding my husband's 7 month deployment. I find that to be unsettling, especially since I would feel for you if the situation were reverse. Regardless... I know your eldest son's school is closed for Veteran's Day and the week of Thanksgiving - just as my facility is. You gave me a hard time over this which I found to be completely inappropriate - especailly since you were given these dates in advance. If you cannot comply with my policies or dates of closure, you may want to find a daycare that would better suit your needs.
Oh Yeah, and you're welcome that our family sacrifices so that you can live in this awesome FREE COUNTRY! We are so glad to be of service!

(comming from a bleeding heart democrat who also happens to have a son that is a PVT. in the army)
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BigMama 04:44 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by misspollywog:


Just to spite her, I would add "National Day Care Providers Day" to your holiday list. When she says she hasn't heard of it, tell her we here instituted it in your honor.
Good one!
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Ariana 04:51 PM 11-10-2011
So many people are rude and this lady certainly doesn't deserve you feeling like this:

Originally Posted by :
I felt numb and couldn't think of what to say on the spot for some reason. I think I was too mad. She left and that was it. But all last night I was fuming at her insensitivity.
She just doesn't deserve an ounce of your emotion. People like that just lead the most miserable lives...I'd just take solace in that if I were you! She is also throwing a tantrum like a child so treat her like one..ignore, ignore, ignore!!
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Christian Mother 05:38 PM 11-10-2011
I think I would of talked right over her as soon as I heard her complain...I do that to the kids as soon as I hear that whinny voice. I wouldn't even allow her to get one word in because I can talk your ear off. And you'd learn all about my life in about 5 min. without taking one single breath! I don't get much adult time so if a adult give me just a bit of whinny time...I unload...waaaa waaa waaa. Oh, what did you say...AND Oh, did I tell you..waaa waaa waaa That mean lady would either have to listen or turn around and leave..
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Breezy 06:27 PM 11-10-2011
Oh I would be so upset. My husband is active duty as well so I know how you feel! Some people just dont grt the sacrifices our families make for theirs.
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wdmmom 08:52 PM 11-10-2011
If I worked for such an insensitive parent and a lying one to boot...

Well, lets just say I wouldn't be anymore!
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TBird 09:22 PM 11-10-2011
Thank you and your husband for your service to our country...we appreciate you!

And about your insensitive parent.....not that it's your fault but some parents "smell" that they can make all kinds of comments to certain providers. I don't even give the 'aura' that they can talk to me like that. I'm friendly but they know this is my business.

BUT...if they did lose their minds and started making snarky comments, I would say something like "Oh, I'm sorry Nasty Mom...did you need another copy of the handbook and the Time Off Addendum that goes along with it??? You know...the one that you signed off on??? Let me get it out of DCK's file for you."

I think it's a travesty to even have to explain what you're doing. It is what it is...you're a business & your business is closed on Veteran's Day and the week of Thanksgiving.
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godiva83 06:03 AM 11-11-2011
Gosh some people- I just will never understand it!!!

I hope you had a chance to speak your mind yesterday and she was respectful of your emotions. Also, a big thank you to your DH and you for all that you do- you will be in my thoughts and prayers for a safe deployment.
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Springdaze 07:46 AM 11-11-2011
i would just say " I happened to run into the website your other son goes to! you know their closed those days too, right? Imagine if you brought them there and they were closed!" act like you are doing her a favor reminding her of something that doesnt even concern you! what a consciencious provider you are!
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MamaBear 09:16 AM 11-11-2011
Thank you everyone for your very nice comments and advice. It really made me feel a lot better and gave me great advice on what to say to her.

Turns out she sent her husband to pick up yesterday so now I wont see her till Monday. I was so pumped up and ready to say something and then he was at the door instead. Oh well. I've decided shes really not worth stressing over & not worth the energy - and so I'm not stressing about it anymore. BUT I am still going to say something when I do see her. I might have gotten over it, but she still cant get away with lying to me and being so rude and think its okay. It's like that saying "I forgive but I dont forget" Yeahhhh that. I did send her son home with a Veteran's Day project that all the kids made yesterday. Hopefully that makes her think... even a little.

Other than that... I'm devoting all of my thoughts & energy today to honoring my husband and all our Veterans who have served our country... who have risked their lives and sacrificed their time away from their families to keep us all safe and free. Its amazing how good it feels to our Veterans when just ONE person comes up to them and says "Thank You so much" to them. When someone says that to my husband it really does something good to him. Just a simple Thanks goes a long way.

Anyway - thank you guys! I really appreciate all your sweet words and encouragement!!!
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Tags:days off, parent - with attitude, rude parents, veterans day
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